Thots TV Wrapped

[00:00:17] Welcome to the first annual Thots TV Awards

[00:00:22] Oh, we're not doing this every year, are we?

[00:00:24] This is going to get less and less heartfelt every year

[00:00:27] because I'm going to be like, reaching

[00:00:28] Yeah, I hate those bitches

[00:00:32] We have decided, as fucking hell

[00:00:36] A new award for Meg

[00:00:38] This directly correlates with an award I've given Elsa

[00:00:42] It's Meg eating and me getting annoyed

[00:00:49] So we've decided to, I don't know if I want to do it anymore

[00:00:54] Calm down!

[00:00:55] We want to give awards to each other

[00:00:57] because it's Christmas

[00:00:59] and that's what the media industry does, isn't it?

[00:01:02] They give them in the new year, no?

[00:01:05] I don't know, do they?

[00:01:06] Oscars is like February

[00:01:07] Yeah, you're right, okay

[00:01:09] So, how do we want to do this?

[00:01:12] We've got some silly ones for each other

[00:01:14] and we've got some nice ones for each other

[00:01:16] Do we?

[00:01:17] I do

[00:01:18] Okay, I'd like to apologise now

[00:01:20] because yours are going to be significantly better than mine

[00:01:24] Should we, how do we want to start?

[00:01:26] Do you want me to give my

[00:01:26] Should we all do the silly ones first?

[00:01:28] Sure

[00:01:28] Okay

[00:01:29] So, my first silly award goes to Laura

[00:01:33] She is the sickiest female podcast host

[00:01:39] I said sickiest

[00:01:41] I am the sickiest person I have ever met

[00:01:44] in an academic meeting

[00:01:47] She wins the award for most sicks this year

[00:01:51] And every year

[00:01:53] And every year

[00:01:54] She is the record holder

[00:01:56] I've been sick in almost every room of this house

[00:02:00] What room haven't you?

[00:02:01] Oh, my bedroom

[00:02:03] Neither of your bedrooms

[00:02:03] Neither of your bedrooms

[00:02:04] Yeah

[00:02:04] But every other room

[00:02:05] For which I'm grateful

[00:02:06] Sick

[00:02:06] Actually, I don't know if I've been sick in the hall

[00:02:09] If it's a hall

[00:02:10] Challenge accepted

[00:02:12] You'll be sick there when you're on your way to a sink

[00:02:15] You've got a few weeks left to do that this year

[00:02:18] Right, my silly award for Meg

[00:02:21] is loudest laugh for a female podcast host

[00:02:27] Also, record for most times getting Elsie to take off her headphones

[00:02:32] Really? Because I've given you most rage quits

[00:02:38] You know, I don't stand up

[00:02:45] It's just the headphones

[00:02:46] And I take a few seconds and they go back on

[00:02:49] I go, Laura, that doesn't work

[00:02:51] Okay, I'm doing it for you guys

[00:02:52] I'm just demonstrating to them what she does

[00:02:55] It's so funny as well

[00:02:56] Because I've also written most invisible hand gestures

[00:02:59] And given it to both of you

[00:03:02] I gave it to Elsie initially

[00:03:04] Because I was like

[00:03:05] She talks with her hands a lot

[00:03:08] And then I realised that so do you

[00:03:10] And actually, Laura has

[00:03:12] Laura's really bad at going saying you

[00:03:15] And then gesturing

[00:03:16] And then having to clarify

[00:03:18] Clarify who she's pointing at

[00:03:20] Yeah, I have the presence of mind to know that this is audio

[00:03:22] I do the most of the

[00:03:24] Most presence of mind goes to

[00:03:28] Elsie Lones

[00:03:29] Because I'll sometimes describe

[00:03:31] I'm like, dear listener

[00:03:32] And I'll describe it

[00:03:34] I also have for Meg

[00:03:35] Record holder for most cold opens

[00:03:38] So I'm not

[00:03:40] Oh, do I win?

[00:03:40] I've not counted them

[00:03:41] But I just feel like it's Meg

[00:03:43] Okay, thank you

[00:03:45] You've got the most

[00:03:45] Quippy nature

[00:03:47] Yes, you're very quippy

[00:03:48] And for both of you collectively

[00:03:50] I've given you perfect attendance

[00:03:53] Aww

[00:03:54] Yeah

[00:03:55] We didn't attend the ones where you did it with other people

[00:03:58] Yeah, well you weren't invited

[00:03:59] So it doesn't count

[00:04:00] Okay, fine

[00:04:01] I've never gotten perfect attendance in my life

[00:04:06] They used to

[00:04:07] Laura likes to think of reasons not to go

[00:04:10] It's hard to come up with reasons not to go

[00:04:12] When the place you're going is your own living room

[00:04:16] They at my primary school

[00:04:18] Laura broke our mixer

[00:04:21] They would do 100% attendance awards at my primary school

[00:04:25] Never got one, ever

[00:04:26] Literally ever

[00:04:27] Is it discriminatory awards?

[00:04:29] It is discriminatory

[00:04:30] I've always thought that

[00:04:31] Me too

[00:04:32] I don't give a fuck if I've got perfect attendance

[00:04:35] I'm ill, I'm having a day off

[00:04:36] Yeah, no one wants to be

[00:04:37] Yeah

[00:04:37] I don't want to be at school

[00:04:39] Isn't it illegal if your child has been sick within the last 48 hours and you send them in?

[00:04:44] Not illegal and also not anymore

[00:04:45] They've got those bullshit policies about

[00:04:47] Well I think it depends because like

[00:04:49] Schools can mandate that

[00:04:50] If your kid has MRSA

[00:04:51] It's like if you've got norovirus you can't come in within 40 hours

[00:04:54] Hand and foot disease

[00:04:56] Hand and foot and mouth

[00:04:57] Yeah

[00:04:57] There was an outbreak of that at my senior school, primary school

[00:05:00] Fuck

[00:05:01] It's going around now

[00:05:02] Oh great

[00:05:03] Right, silly awards from Laura

[00:05:05] So for Meg, I didn't format it as female podcast host

[00:05:11] I just did general superlatives kind of

[00:05:14] Okay

[00:05:14] To Meg, I have awarded most poos of the year

[00:05:19] Probably

[00:05:19] There's nothing to do with the podcast

[00:05:22] Although I have pooed while we've been recording today

[00:05:26] It was a surprise

[00:05:27] Oh no, she left the room to do that

[00:05:28] She didn't do it

[00:05:29] Actually I did a fart

[00:05:31] And Meg went

[00:05:32] Elsie went

[00:05:33] What was that?

[00:05:35] He sounded like you shit yourself

[00:05:37] Yeah, Laura said you just shit yourself

[00:05:38] I believe without contest

[00:05:41] Meg has pooped the most this year

[00:05:43] Without contest

[00:05:46] To Elsie

[00:05:47] It's not

[00:05:47] It's not

[00:05:47] It's not contest

[00:05:48] It's an award

[00:05:50] Like we announced

[00:05:51] We're talking about a while ago

[00:05:53] The, you know

[00:05:54] What's his name?

[00:05:55] The spider gay

[00:05:56] Peter Parker?

[00:05:58] No

[00:05:59] Who are you talking about?

[00:06:01] I don't know

[00:06:01] It's like that

[00:06:01] So every year you eat

[00:06:03] Eight spiders

[00:06:05] Yeah, yeah, yeah

[00:06:07] You eat on average

[00:06:08] Eight spiders a year

[00:06:10] Except for a spider Steve

[00:06:12] Who eats a million

[00:06:12] Spider's George

[00:06:13] Yes

[00:06:14] Respect spider's George

[00:06:16] Spider's George

[00:06:17] Who eats a million

[00:06:18] And should not be discounted

[00:06:19] Is therefore an outlier

[00:06:20] And shouldn't be counted

[00:06:21] And we were talking about

[00:06:22] The household average

[00:06:23] Of poos in a day

[00:06:24] And we're like

[00:06:27] One

[00:06:29] Because Meg

[00:06:30] Is an outlier

[00:06:31] Should not be counted

[00:06:32] Should not be counted

[00:06:33] What are you talking about

[00:06:35] When I'm not here?

[00:06:37] Oh, in a complimentary way

[00:06:38] No, it's not complimentary

[00:06:40] It's about pooing

[00:06:43] I'm not stupid

[00:06:44] We're all very impressed

[00:06:49] Well, I'm fuming

[00:06:51] Okay, last Christmas

[00:06:52] We did a bonus

[00:06:54] We did a bonus episode

[00:06:56] Oh no, it was an anniversary episode

[00:06:58] And it was called

[00:06:58] Piss, shit and vomit

[00:06:59] And we're back again

[00:07:00] To the same topic

[00:07:01] It's very human of us

[00:07:03] Most vomit goes to Laura

[00:07:06] Furthest vomit

[00:07:09] New entry

[00:07:10] Goes to Meg

[00:07:11] So what award do I get

[00:07:13] For expelling of bodily fluids?

[00:07:16] You're the most

[00:07:19] The shyest

[00:07:20] Yeah, yeah

[00:07:21] You do it on the DL

[00:07:22] Yeah, I do actually

[00:07:23] Me and Laura

[00:07:24] Me and Laura

[00:07:25] Have said to each other

[00:07:26] When

[00:07:26] I mean we know

[00:07:28] But we've gone

[00:07:28] When does Elsie poo?

[00:07:30] What do you mean

[00:07:32] We know?

[00:07:33] No, we know now

[00:07:34] This was like

[00:07:34] When we first moved in

[00:07:35] And we were like

[00:07:37] Phantom Poo

[00:07:38] Where do you know

[00:07:38] Where do you know

[00:07:38] To go for it?

[00:07:39] Because you poo really quickly

[00:07:40] I just

[00:07:41] I don't announce it

[00:07:42] You do sometimes

[00:07:43] I don't announce it

[00:07:44] I just sit there for you

[00:07:45] You come home from work

[00:07:46] You come home from work

[00:07:47] And you go

[00:07:47] Laura, I'm going to shut your door

[00:07:49] Because I need a shit

[00:07:49] Yeah

[00:07:50] And you're like

[00:07:50] Okay

[00:07:52] I have a warning to you

[00:07:53] Still related

[00:07:54] To bodily functions

[00:07:55] But not your bodily functions

[00:07:57] Oh

[00:07:57] Oh god

[00:07:58] Oh no

[00:08:00] Most useless superpower

[00:08:03] I believe that Elsie

[00:08:07] Has demonstrated

[00:08:08] The undeniable superpower

[00:08:10] Of causing Meg to fart

[00:08:13] Unendingly in her presence

[00:08:14] Yeah

[00:08:15] So Meg

[00:08:17] Swears

[00:08:18] That she doesn't fart all day

[00:08:19] And then I come home from work

[00:08:21] And she starts farting

[00:08:21] I could go a whole day

[00:08:23] Without doing a single fart

[00:08:24] But as soon as Elsie

[00:08:25] Works through the door

[00:08:25] It's like

[00:08:25] Pfft pfft pfft

[00:08:27] She blames me

[00:08:29] I do

[00:08:30] It's like your shit

[00:08:31] It correlates so strongly

[00:08:32] It must be true

[00:08:34] Um

[00:08:35] And then this one isn't

[00:08:36] Like this is like

[00:08:38] The most lighthearted

[00:08:39] Of the ones I've got

[00:08:39] For both of you

[00:08:40] And it's

[00:08:40] Without explanation

[00:08:42] Best chats

[00:08:43] Funnest time

[00:08:44] Aww

[00:08:46] That's nice

[00:08:47] Worst chats

[00:08:48] Worsest time

[00:08:50] Someone won that

[00:08:51] So

[00:08:51] Um

[00:08:52] To Laura

[00:08:54] Is awarded

[00:08:55] Most invisible hand gestures

[00:08:58] Mouthiest noises

[00:08:59] Oh yeah

[00:09:01] But also

[00:09:03] Most silent laughs

[00:09:04] Hmm

[00:09:05] I do

[00:09:06] Cut out

[00:09:07] A fair bit of

[00:09:08] Well both of you actually

[00:09:10] Sort of starting a word

[00:09:11] Like

[00:09:12] Oh I'm so sorry

[00:09:14] Like that

[00:09:43] Also to Laura

[00:09:44] Glasses

[00:09:45] So things break

[00:09:46] Right

[00:09:46] My best friend

[00:09:47] When I was a kid

[00:09:48] She had

[00:09:48] Three siblings

[00:09:50] So there were

[00:09:50] Six of them all

[00:09:52] In that house

[00:09:52] They had these

[00:09:53] Primary coloured

[00:09:54] Little plastic cups

[00:09:55] With the straw

[00:09:56] Attached to the cup

[00:09:57] On the inside

[00:09:58] Bitch to clean

[00:09:59] Bitch to clean

[00:09:59] But they blew me away

[00:10:00] As a kid

[00:10:01] Absolutely blew me away

[00:10:02] They would probably be

[00:10:03] The quietest vessel

[00:10:04] They probably would

[00:10:05] Yeah

[00:10:05] Yeah

[00:10:18] Is that the end of your award

[00:10:21] Aw

[00:10:22] I like most things

[00:10:23] Done against my own will

[00:10:24] I

[00:10:25] I do a lot of things

[00:10:26] I don't want to do

[00:10:27] Yeah

[00:10:27] Yeah

[00:10:29] Thanks for recognising that

[00:10:32] Obviously was like

[00:10:32] I don't want to do

[00:10:33] Winnie the Pooh

[00:10:33] Can we do something else

[00:10:34] And we were like

[00:10:35] No

[00:10:37] Executive decision

[00:10:37] No

[00:10:38] The late nights

[00:10:39] Are also not by choice

[00:10:40] It's I just have to get

[00:10:41] The edits done

[00:10:42] To be fair

[00:10:43] In our company

[00:10:44] Me and Meg

[00:10:45] Have more senior positions

[00:10:46] Than you

[00:10:47] Like I'm

[00:10:48] I'm the director

[00:10:50] Meg's the CEO

[00:10:51] I'm also company secretary

[00:10:52] Oh sorry

[00:10:53] Our company

[00:10:54] That we have together

[00:10:55] Yeah

[00:10:55] And you're just

[00:10:57] A person of note

[00:10:58] Yes I am

[00:10:58] Yeah

[00:10:59] Does the most work

[00:11:01] Gets the least recognition

[00:11:02] Yeah well none of us

[00:11:03] Get paid

[00:11:03] So

[00:11:04] Yeah

[00:11:05] We have even shares

[00:11:07] Because that's what counts

[00:11:09] Doesn't your dad have some

[00:11:10] Yeah because we all

[00:11:11] Have the same amount

[00:11:12] Of shares

[00:11:12] And then her dad

[00:11:13] Has like one

[00:11:14] Or two

[00:11:15] Yeah five shares

[00:11:16] And it's like

[00:11:16] What?

[00:11:17] That's so random

[00:11:17] You didn't give my dad

[00:11:18] The option to have any shares

[00:11:19] Has your dad

[00:11:21] Paid for many dinners

[00:11:23] And Costco trips?

[00:11:24] He's given

[00:11:25] He gave me life

[00:11:27] Accidentally

[00:11:28] He sends

[00:11:28] Advocates

[00:11:30] Yeah he does

[00:11:31] Oh right

[00:11:31] You were an accident

[00:11:32] I know

[00:11:34] Only one of us

[00:11:36] Was on purpose

[00:11:36] Oh

[00:11:37] I was somewhere once

[00:11:38] With my boyfriend

[00:11:39] And he

[00:11:40] He made a

[00:11:41] He made a

[00:11:42] Reference to me

[00:11:43] Being an accident

[00:11:43] And his mum

[00:11:45] Was his mum was there

[00:11:46] And so was his brother

[00:11:47] And sister

[00:11:47] He was like

[00:11:48] Ribbing me

[00:11:48] For being an accident

[00:11:49] And his mum went

[00:11:50] Well I'm sorry

[00:11:50] To break the news to you

[00:11:51] But every single one

[00:11:52] Of you

[00:11:52] Was an accident

[00:11:54] No

[00:11:57] We didn't mean to have

[00:11:58] Any of you

[00:11:59] Especially like

[00:12:00] Because your boyfriend

[00:12:00] Is the youngest

[00:12:01] By quite a margin

[00:12:03] Yeah

[00:12:04] Like

[00:12:04] No

[00:12:04] He knew he was an accident

[00:12:06] But he was like

[00:12:07] Ribbing me for it

[00:12:08] And she was like

[00:12:08] Well so were you

[00:12:09] And so were you

[00:12:10] And so were you

[00:12:11] Shut the fuck up

[00:12:14] As far as I know

[00:12:15] I was on purpose

[00:12:17] From what

[00:12:18] Everything you said

[00:12:19] You felt very

[00:12:19] You feel intentional

[00:12:21] Yes

[00:12:21] Thank you

[00:12:22] Thanks

[00:12:22] So I've got some nice ones now

[00:12:24] For Laura

[00:12:26] Best newcomer

[00:12:29] Or

[00:12:29] For all of us

[00:12:30] Most improved podcast

[00:12:32] Brackets because of Laura

[00:12:34] So it was

[00:12:35] A good decision

[00:12:37] To bring you on board

[00:12:37] I think

[00:12:38] You let me

[00:12:39] I was

[00:12:40] Yeah

[00:12:40] Like let me join

[00:12:41] You do know she didn't

[00:12:42] Join this year don't you

[00:12:43] Yeah I do

[00:12:44] Yeah

[00:12:45] I didn't realise

[00:12:46] It had to be for this year

[00:12:47] Oh

[00:12:47] I just thought

[00:12:48] Generally

[00:12:48] Well I didn't realise

[00:12:48] That we could just do

[00:12:49] Most poos

[00:12:51] I didn't realise

[00:12:52] The award could be

[00:12:53] Not to do with the podcast

[00:12:56] And for Meg

[00:12:57] I've got

[00:12:58] Above and Beyond award

[00:13:00] So Meg

[00:13:01] Really good mixes together

[00:13:03] This year Meg

[00:13:04] Excellent performances

[00:13:05] Meg just puts in

[00:13:07] So much work

[00:13:09] That is nothing to do

[00:13:11] With the audio content

[00:13:12] Like

[00:13:13] We wouldn't have done

[00:13:14] The show without Meg

[00:13:15] We wouldn't have joined

[00:13:16] Podomedy without Meg

[00:13:18] All of the extra bits

[00:13:20] That you guys don't hear

[00:13:21] But make a huge difference

[00:13:22] To us

[00:13:23] And are

[00:13:24] Like

[00:13:25] The ease of how

[00:13:26] We can get the podcast

[00:13:28] To you

[00:13:29] Is because of Meg

[00:13:30] So

[00:13:30] Yeah

[00:13:30] Thank you

[00:13:31] You're very welcome

[00:13:32] Thank you

[00:13:33] And for both of you

[00:13:34] My joint nice one

[00:13:36] Is most times

[00:13:37] Talking Elsie off the ledge

[00:13:39] I've had

[00:13:40] Is that nice

[00:13:40] Yeah

[00:13:42] Yeah it is

[00:13:43] Is that to do with the podcast

[00:13:43] Yes it is

[00:13:44] Well yes and no

[00:13:46] I mean I was thinking

[00:13:47] About times that I've had

[00:13:48] Like minor technical troubles

[00:13:49] To do with editing

[00:13:50] And I've just been like

[00:13:52] Spiralling in the living room

[00:13:53] And you know

[00:13:53] I hate techie problems

[00:13:54] Like that

[00:13:55] They're so frustrating

[00:13:55] You both have like

[00:13:56] Got out of bed

[00:13:57] At like one in the morning

[00:13:58] To be like

[00:13:58] Let's sort this out

[00:13:59] So yeah

[00:14:00] And also

[00:14:01] Are there other ways

[00:14:02] You've taught me off the ledge

[00:14:03] Over the last few years

[00:14:06] Literally

[00:14:06] Do not worry

[00:14:07] Come inside Elsie

[00:14:08] It's fine

[00:14:09] Do not worry listeners

[00:14:10] We're joking

[00:14:11] Elsie has never been suicidal

[00:14:13] For legal reasons

[00:14:14] This is a joke

[00:14:15] We don't really have a place

[00:14:17] We don't have a ledge

[00:14:18] So it is metaphorical

[00:14:19] If one of us

[00:14:20] Was to jump off

[00:14:20] There's a balcony

[00:14:21] But I don't think

[00:14:21] It would kill you

[00:14:22] If you jumped off of it

[00:14:23] No you'd end up

[00:14:25] With the worst fate

[00:14:25] If it's not high enough

[00:14:27] To kill you

[00:14:27] It would be bad

[00:14:28] No you'd break something

[00:14:30] Yeah you'd break something

[00:14:30] It's just

[00:14:31] It's not

[00:14:31] It's only a little bit higher

[00:14:33] Than when I fell off a building

[00:14:34] All I did was fracture my elbow

[00:14:35] It'd be fine

[00:14:36] Yeah but you were a child

[00:14:36] And they bounce

[00:14:38] It was onto

[00:14:38] This is grass

[00:14:39] It was onto concrete

[00:14:40] Yeah

[00:14:41] And you weren't okay

[00:14:42] Were you pissed yourself

[00:14:43] I pissed myself

[00:14:44] Thought I was dying

[00:14:45] Fall into a hedge

[00:14:47] Scratch that bitch up

[00:14:53] Okay so

[00:14:54] Laura's nice ones now please

[00:14:57] Who wants to go first

[00:14:58] I just said Laura's nice ones

[00:15:00] Yeah

[00:15:00] Who wants to go first

[00:15:02] Oh you're going to give them to us

[00:15:03] To read

[00:15:04] No I'm like

[00:15:04] I have a thing to read out

[00:15:05] Oh well

[00:15:06] Just you decide Laura

[00:15:07] Okay I'll do Elsie's first

[00:15:08] Oh

[00:15:15] Elsie

[00:15:15] I've awarded you

[00:15:16] Best at creating a space

[00:15:18] In which the creativity

[00:15:19] And brilliance

[00:15:19] Brilliance of children's telly

[00:15:20] Can be

[00:15:21] I'm going to cry

[00:15:23] Let's just hold space

[00:15:27] Brilliance of children's telly

[00:15:28] Can be

[00:15:30] Unabashedly celebrated

[00:15:31] Elsie

[00:15:32] I just want to thank you

[00:15:32] For making something

[00:15:33] Which at first

[00:15:34] We weren't

[00:15:35] I've

[00:15:36] Sorry I've added a little

[00:15:37] I'm gonna cry

[00:15:38] Wait no I can't read my own

[00:15:39] I'm gonna cry

[00:15:40] Elsie

[00:15:40] I want to thank you

[00:15:41] For making something

[00:15:42] Which at first

[00:15:42] Me and Meg

[00:15:43] Weren't sure about

[00:15:44] But now

[00:15:45] I am always looking forward

[00:15:46] To creating more of

[00:15:47] And for you to passionately

[00:15:48] And openly embrace

[00:15:50] Your interests and pursuits

[00:15:51] From the Beatles

[00:15:52] To Rainbow

[00:15:53] It has

[00:15:53] It has allowed me

[00:15:55] And I'm sure many others

[00:15:56] To reach back to their childhoods

[00:15:57] And remember and reflect

[00:15:58] Warmly on aspects

[00:15:59] They may have forgotten

[00:16:00] You shine a light

[00:16:01] On things that are

[00:16:02] Largely overlooked

[00:16:03] In society

[00:16:05] And I hope

[00:16:07] We should probably

[00:16:08] Do Laura's last

[00:16:09] When we edit this

[00:16:11] Are you okay?

[00:16:12] Mine are not this good

[00:16:14] I know I can talk

[00:16:15] About anything with you

[00:16:16] And it will always be

[00:16:17] Completely safe

[00:16:18] From judgement

[00:16:18] Or derision

[00:16:19] You are so good

[00:16:20] At making people

[00:16:21] Feel completely safe

[00:16:22] I hope you know

[00:16:23] How monumentally proud

[00:16:24] Of you I am

[00:16:25] Every single day

[00:16:27] Aww

[00:16:29] Are you okay?

[00:16:32] Sorry I don't need

[00:16:33] To love you

[00:16:33] Do you need a hug?

[00:16:36] No

[00:16:37] I love hearing you talk

[00:16:39] It's true

[00:16:41] Aww

[00:16:42] If you can read it

[00:16:43] If you can read it

[00:16:44] It's cause it's

[00:16:45] Covered in tears

[00:16:48] Aww

[00:16:48] Meg's awards

[00:16:50] Oh dear

[00:16:51] Oh no

[00:16:52] You are the stinkiest

[00:16:54] Who he is

[00:16:57] So Meg

[00:16:58] I have awarded you

[00:16:59] Best at creating

[00:17:00] A home and a life

[00:17:01] Which enriches

[00:17:02] And warms the lives

[00:17:03] Of your friends

[00:17:03] And loved ones

[00:17:04] Meg I want you to know

[00:17:06] How grateful I am

[00:17:06] Every day

[00:17:07] That I met you

[00:17:08] And that we became

[00:17:09] Friends

[00:17:10] Almost all of my life

[00:17:11] Today is only possible

[00:17:12] Because I met you

[00:17:13] And you welcomed me

[00:17:14] Into yours

[00:17:15] You are one of the

[00:17:16] Most compassionate

[00:17:17] And kindest people

[00:17:18] I know of

[00:17:18] And this year

[00:17:19] I got really scared

[00:17:20] Stop laughing

[00:17:21] I'm not laughing

[00:17:22] You said kindest

[00:17:23] And I went

[00:17:25] Well

[00:17:25] When you want to be

[00:17:28] This year

[00:17:29] I got really scary

[00:17:30] Life altering

[00:17:31] Changing news

[00:17:32] Sorry

[00:17:32] Really scary

[00:17:33] Life altering

[00:17:34] Change to my life

[00:17:36] But it was less scary

[00:17:37] And less daunting

[00:17:38] Than it would have been

[00:17:39] If you weren't there

[00:17:40] To comfort me

[00:17:40] And support me

[00:17:41] The moment I got home

[00:17:42] I'm happier

[00:17:43] Than I've ever been

[00:17:44] In my life

[00:17:44] And that is in

[00:17:45] No small part to you

[00:17:46] And of course

[00:17:47] Through you

[00:17:48] I met Elsie

[00:17:48] And now we get

[00:17:49] To make this

[00:17:49] Wonderful podcast

[00:17:51] I have

[00:17:53] What?

[00:17:54] I have

[00:17:56] What?

[00:17:57] I have half a mind

[00:17:58] To email

[00:17:59] Whoever was in charge

[00:18:00] Of Hall's allocation

[00:18:01] At Royal Holloway

[00:18:01] And thank them

[00:18:02] For facilitating

[00:18:03] Our friendship

[00:18:04] And the trajectory

[00:18:05] Of the rest of my life

[00:18:06] Aww

[00:18:07] And then to both of you

[00:18:08] Oh god

[00:18:09] Oh no

[00:18:11] I love you so much

[00:18:14] Nope

[00:18:15] So I've got

[00:18:15] There's three here

[00:18:16] You've heard

[00:18:16] Number two

[00:18:17] Which was

[00:18:17] Best chats

[00:18:18] And funnest time

[00:18:19] That doesn't have

[00:18:20] Any extra text

[00:18:21] It's just that

[00:18:21] So number one

[00:18:23] Funniest people

[00:18:24] You're both

[00:18:25] Absolutely the funniest people

[00:18:27] And you've given me

[00:18:28] A home in which

[00:18:29] Essentially everyday

[00:18:30] Laughter is the most

[00:18:31] Dominant sound

[00:18:32] A home throughout my life

[00:18:33] Has been many things

[00:18:34] From scary

[00:18:34] To lovely

[00:18:35] To lonely

[00:18:36] But this home

[00:18:37] My home with you two

[00:18:38] Is such a delight

[00:18:39] Almost every single day

[00:18:40] I dread the day

[00:18:41] When we go our separate ways

[00:18:42] As my days will be less

[00:18:43] Alight with laughter

[00:18:46] Aww

[00:18:49] Thank you

[00:18:51] And then the third one

[00:18:52] Was

[00:18:52] Best backup

[00:18:53] I was so afraid to perform

[00:18:55] So afraid to get up

[00:18:56] In front of anyone

[00:18:57] And try and be funny

[00:18:58] That I know

[00:18:59] But

[00:19:00] That I know

[00:19:00] Without your performance

[00:19:02] Sorry

[00:19:02] Without your presence

[00:19:03] And assurance

[00:19:04] I would not have been able to

[00:19:05] Your support

[00:19:06] Dwarves my fears

[00:19:07] In a way that I thought impossible

[00:19:08] I'm going to carry that

[00:19:10] Forever more

[00:19:10] Thank you

[00:19:12] Oh we're all crying

[00:19:14] Minor shit

[00:19:16] Laughter

[00:19:20] And then I wrote

[00:19:21] On the back of the one

[00:19:22] For both of you

[00:19:22] I love you both

[00:19:23] Dearly

[00:19:23] That I am so lucky

[00:19:24] That saying goodbye

[00:19:25] Would be so truly difficult

[00:19:27] Aww

[00:19:28] We wouldn't be dying

[00:19:30] No I know

[00:19:31] Thank you

[00:19:32] What does it say

[00:19:34] Oh awards

[00:19:35] I thought it said

[00:19:36] It makes brands

[00:19:39] I was wearing loads of knife

[00:19:42] I am uncovered in knife

[00:19:43] That one

[00:19:44] I was using a calligraphy pen

[00:19:45] I have

[00:19:46] Don't really know how to use it

[00:19:48] Oh you know what

[00:19:49] No you don't

[00:19:50] Laughter

[00:19:52] Thank you Laura

[00:19:53] That's so nice

[00:19:54] Least legible handwriting

[00:19:56] Goes to both of you

[00:19:58] You both have awfully

[00:19:59] Awful handwriting to read

[00:20:01] Lovely to look at

[00:20:03] Awful to read

[00:20:04] Well I think we better

[00:20:06] Wrap this one up

[00:20:07] So we can give Laura

[00:20:07] A hug

[00:20:09] Oh

[00:20:09] You told us at the beginning

[00:20:12] That you didn't have any nice ones

[00:20:13] I thought they were done

[00:20:14] No I did

[00:20:14] That's not what I said

[00:20:15] You made that up

[00:20:16] Oh okay

[00:20:17] Listen back

[00:20:18] We have it

[00:20:19] I said you're gonna have to edit mine

[00:20:20] Before Laura's

[00:20:22] Because Laura's is the best one

[00:20:23] Okay

[00:20:24] To Elsie

[00:20:26] I award the most patience

[00:20:29] A person can possibly have

[00:20:32] With two idiots

[00:20:33] That like to sit

[00:20:35] And poke each other

[00:20:36] And laugh

[00:20:37] And make noises

[00:20:38] On purpose

[00:20:40] And she still comes back

[00:20:42] Every week

[00:20:43] And wants to record with us

[00:20:45] Why?

[00:20:47] We know the reason is

[00:20:49] She's got no one else

[00:20:50] To record with

[00:20:51] But a pussy

[00:20:52] Because if you had an option

[00:20:55] Why would you choose us?

[00:20:57] And to Laura

[00:20:58] I award the most gung ho

[00:21:01] Whenever we have an idea

[00:21:02] You never say why

[00:21:04] You always say why not

[00:21:05] And whenever we don't know

[00:21:07] What to do or to say

[00:21:08] Like in meetings

[00:21:09] You always come up with something

[00:21:11] To do or to say

[00:21:12] And you never leave silence

[00:21:14] Thank you both

[00:21:15] That might be a flaw

[00:21:17] Aww thank you

[00:21:19] Right once we put the mics away

[00:21:21] We can have a group hug

[00:21:22] Yes I think we should

[00:21:23] I need to blow my nose

[00:21:24] Okay

[00:21:24] Yeah everyone's

[00:21:25] This is why I asked for tissues

[00:21:27] I knew I was gonna cry

[00:21:28] This has been the most

[00:21:30] Oh I thought you were just dripping

[00:21:31] No no I knew I was gonna cry

[00:21:33] This is gonna be the most mouth noisy

[00:21:39] Poor Elsie

[00:21:39] Okay because

[00:21:40] This is what we do this to her

[00:21:42] All the time

[00:21:43] Because I'm now thinking

[00:21:44] That this should be on the main feed

[00:21:46] Well Arja you can't let Laura cry

[00:21:48] All over the main feed

[00:21:50] Okay

[00:21:50] Oh you can

[00:21:52] I'm fine with that

[00:21:53] I cry so much

[00:21:55] Not in like a really bad way

[00:21:57] But like in the last year

[00:21:58] I'm like wow okay

[00:21:59] I cry most days

[00:22:02] Not badly

[00:22:03] Like very often it's

[00:22:04] I've been like deeply touched

[00:22:06] By something or whatever

[00:22:07] Master chef the professionals hey

[00:22:08] No god that's made me annoyed this year

[00:22:11] For as we know why

[00:22:13] Yeah we know why

[00:22:14] There was a reel I saw

[00:22:15] That was a granddad meeting

[00:22:17] His grandson for the first time

[00:22:19] That's named after him

[00:22:20] He was learning upon meeting him

[00:22:21] That it was named after him

[00:22:23] And he starts crying

[00:22:24] He goes to his daughter first

[00:22:25] He's like you did so well

[00:22:26] How are you

[00:22:27] And stays with her

[00:22:27] Until she's like

[00:22:28] Go and meet your grandson

[00:22:29] And then he sees him

[00:22:31] He's like oh he's perfect

[00:22:32] And he's like look at the name

[00:22:33] And it's named after him

[00:22:34] Why have you labelled your child

[00:22:36] Just say the name

[00:22:38] Just say the name

[00:22:39] Look at the name

[00:22:40] Yeah it's in hospitals

[00:22:41] So it's got the name label thing

[00:22:43] The name label

[00:22:45] They've got the little chart thing

[00:22:46] Is this in the US?

[00:22:46] Yeah

[00:22:47] I don't know if we do that here

[00:22:49] And I just started weeping

[00:22:50] And that happens fairly regularly

[00:22:53] Well this has been lovely

[00:22:55] This has been really nice

[00:22:56] So the only reason I'm considering

[00:22:57] Not putting it on the main feed

[00:22:59] Is because of all the fucking noises

[00:23:01] That have been coming from our faces

[00:23:02] But yeah

[00:23:04] That was a good idea

[00:23:05] To do a little award show

[00:23:06] I think

[00:23:07] It's like a round off season four

[00:23:08] Next year it can't be that

[00:23:10] So it's going to be a little bit

[00:23:11] Less heartfelt next year

[00:23:12] Yeah

[00:23:15] Most pooiest

[00:23:16] Second year in a row

[00:23:20] My sickiest second year in a row

[00:23:24] Shall we have a little group hug then?

[00:23:26] Yes

[00:23:26] Alright

[00:23:27] Thank you for listening to season four

[00:23:29] We'll see you in the new year

[00:23:30] Bye

[00:23:30] Bye

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