Tots TV

[00:00:00] This content contains podcast. This adult contains podcast content. Adult content be advised.

[00:00:13] Enjoy the episode. What's an electric fence among friends? Just...

[00:00:18] Do you think that's 4,000 volts among friends?

[00:00:20] Exactly. It's not all 1,000 volts.

[00:00:23] I was just picking a number. I's a special episode because this is not only the first one that I was looking straight down the barrel of the camera, but I can look at you if you prefer. No, no, I mean, could you look at me sometimes? Yeah, I mean, if you don't know us by our voices already, this is what Meg looks like.

[00:01:46] Hi. I'm Elsie. 1, 2, boom! I'm the Thatcher's, he's in love. Didn't I? And tiny. Off we go together now to see what we can see. What will we see? Yes, that's wow. What will we see? Some news up at the top. We've got quite a few new listeners recently.

[00:04:20] Yeah, so thanks for that.

[00:04:22] But you're welcome.

[00:04:23] Yeah, those things get...

[00:04:25] I went out there and collected those.

[00:04:26] Gathered. floor is the pain of you setting up on the floor. Yeah, how did it work? Yeah, thanks. So are we glad that we've named our podcast after this TV show? Yes, actually. I hadn't ever watched anything really. Me neither. You know, bits and bobs here and there. And I was worried,

[00:05:41] I really was worried I was going to hate it. Yeah, yeah, you want all traffic to us. Listen, if you want a contribute. It was very small GoFundMe to buy the domain. Yeah. I don't think it would take long. People hate porn, famously. So... I thought famously people loved porn. That was the joke.

[00:07:00] The famous debate.

[00:07:02] Oh, she was on the way.

[00:07:03] Porn or no porn?

[00:07:04] Yeah, porn or no porn.

[00:07:05] There's only one way to find out.

[00:07:07] Fine. Yeah, I think so. It's, so I'm gonna write start off by telling you a bit about the production of it because then we can get into like the content of what it is. You really look like you're not enjoying that drink. I've got a second one, do you want it? We have a bloody Mary for you also. I'll be honest with you, half the faces I've been pulling and for the benefit of the camera. You're stealing the...

[00:08:21] It loves you, Meg.

[00:08:22] I'm gonna do a super edit of me going.

[00:09:23] Rosie and Jim, it's a lot less creepy. I think it's more creepy.

[00:09:24] I think you're actually...

[00:09:25] I think Tots TV, like maybe the first few seconds

[00:09:29] a bit are a bit creepy and then you get used

[00:09:30] to the style of it and I think it's lovely.

[00:09:32] I think the Rosie and Jim puppets are a lot more charming.

[00:09:36] And also, if you focus too much on what the Tots TV

[00:09:43] puppets actually look like, the fact that their mouths

[00:09:46] don't move, that is one thing, I can't get enough of their voices. So I could listen to it. What do you mean? I like the way they sound. I think every animal that's in the world,

[00:11:02] I think it's a little bit more like a animal. to incredible instinct and a lot of painstaking research and a slightly terrifying insight into these unknowable little minds. So he wrote every single episode of... They can't be known. He wrote every single episode of Teletubbies. He wrote every single episode. That was right.

[00:12:20] No, all of it, he just he's a music producer, a very good one.

[00:13:41] He's a writer, he's an actor, a puppeteer.

[00:13:44] He did the puppeteering for ThoughtTV as well.

[00:13:47] And he... I tell you what, I'll tell you what, because of my aunt who is 54 says that. I've never heard anyone else say. I'll tell you what, except for... Tiny? Tiny something. You're well, you're hot. Hello there! I was sleeping up, sleeping up, sleeping up, sleeping up. I'm super-todding. Oh, super-todding. Oh, hello, Tom. What did you read? Um, I thought it was looking a little bit missing. He saw a photo of it just sweeping up.

[00:15:01] Um, I thought it was looking a little bit missing.

[00:15:04] He saw a photo of it just sweeping up. is the whole thing. You could mean the entire thing. You I find myself quoting it immediately after it's been said because the lines are that well delivered by Andrew Davenport and the guy that plays Tom, his name I've forgotten. See, the thing about it not being visual is that I can just look at my phone and check things, but you know, also he was a model for, you know, Gilbert and George.

[00:16:24] No, no, they sell them.

[00:17:22] So, actually don't ever, yeah. You're weak.

[00:17:23] At least once in episode they like reassure each other.

[00:17:27] I feel similarly to them is how I feel about the,

[00:17:31] do you remember the old Le Nore ads that had the like,

[00:17:34] all animated puppets?

[00:17:37] And the Patrick, but I don't want to say

[00:17:38] if you found one of those in your garden,

[00:17:41] you'd stove it to death with the back of a spade, wouldn't you?

[00:17:45] And you would, you'd when kids like if they see someone disabled for the first time in their life? Yeah, very black. Look at that, yeah. No decor. Yeah, no, they're for, kids are very rude. Kids are very rude. But the adults don't even look at them. Like it's like they don't see them.

[00:19:01] There's two types of Tots TV episodes.

[00:19:03] So there's the going out episodes

[00:19:06] and the staying in episodes. like telly tubbies. It was also by Andrew Davenport. That was the bits where they go into their stomach TVs and you watch got a farm in my chest. You don't question it when you're a kid. It's like, yeah, that makes sense. True. But yeah, the go with the staying in episodes are, I think, infinitely better because they're about 10 minutes shorter.

[00:21:40] Yeah, they're also also they're only about six minutes long.

[00:21:44] If you don't watch the whole intro every time.

[00:21:47] I do watch the to the... What? Because the North's really shit. Yeah. And you have nothing. Yeah, we don't have anything. No problem. Oh, I was ready to believe that this was a real anecdote. What does that say about your family?

[00:23:00] Paul and Vicki would never.

[00:23:05] I don't think it says anything about my's a there's a meme moment where basically the three of them get into

[00:24:21] like a massive blazing round.

[00:24:22] They're like, I know you're going to call me the banana.

[00:24:26] I've been having you.

[00:24:26] It's like, so good.

[00:24:29] So good. That was my fault, but really, I didn't mean to go. Everything because Tom came clear and then we didn't wheelbarrow and knocked me right over. One of my fault is to lay super epic plus on my head, she did. I couldn't see where I was doing. It wasn't my fault. Oh, la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. Well, whose fault was it, then?

[00:25:40] Yeah, whose fault was it?

[00:25:42] Because none of Tom's.

[00:25:43] Yeah, don't you call me a big non-a-y other one

[00:25:46] that put all these stuff all over me. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

[00:27:00] I don't know.

[00:27:01] I don't know.

[00:27:02] I don't know.

[00:27:03] I don't know.

[00:27:04] I don't know.

[00:27:05] I don't know.

[00:27:06] I don't know.

[00:27:07] I don't know.

[00:27:08] I don't know that word until I was like maybe 10. We are because your parents are good parents. The whole Simon's alright. Yeah, but he isn't good at editing himself. Himself at all. My cousins, because they're all quite a bit younger than me, have kind of only just started grasping the concept of the fact that

[00:28:21] I'm an adult and can do what I want.

[00:28:23] So up until recently, my eldest cousin who's I think 12 now,

[00:29:25] three. So it wasn't like right under ten kids. No confession. No. So Betty told us a story about when she was in maybe three or four. We were so disappointed in her but it was

[00:29:32] so funny. So basically her and her best friend at the time who she kind of pushed around

[00:29:40] a little bit. Like your friends are new. Yeah. know how it is. And then like a day went by and no one said anything and then another day went by. So what Betty did was she dobs Carrie Ann in. And she told us this and we were in stitches, like we were crying with laughter, but we were like,

[00:31:02] that's really bad.

[00:31:04] This is really, really, Snid, yes, yes. I mean, I had attention like twice in my whole life. I think, yeah, I think I only had detention a couple of times. There was one incident. I wasn't in trouble. I was troubled upon that we were in the office for like four hours when they were trying to figure it out because my mates had stolen money from me for a period of four months.

[00:32:23] Wow, it's not funny. I got attention one time for not,

[00:32:26] I think I hadn't done as much coming from adults. I think when kids say things to you, I think it cuts deeper because you know they mean it. Yeah. I don't say

[00:33:41] things because they want to hurt

[00:33:44] you. Some of these say things that

[00:33:45] aren't necessarily true. Kids

[00:33:47] kids tell in the truth. Lots of She doesn't mean it in a bad way, but I was like, stop pointing. Please. He's so on it. It was like, so, because we were, I was on my aunt's when the news about Matthew Perry came out and my cousins were really savage about it. And every turn very blunt being like, yeah, this is mean. Well, yeah, because they were asking about how it happened. And well, the first thing they said was, Oh, you shouldn't sleep in pool.

[00:35:01] Should you?

[00:35:02] Well, that's true.

[00:35:03] And then they were like, OK, but where's his wife?

[00:35:06] Surely your wife would. to give people a chance, haven't you? And then he said, I think about people that are 41 and single. I just think, what's wrong with you? Why? What are you saying? I mean, when they were, she came home and she was done on the call. And I, her dad sent a video of their family cat and I thought he was holding the cat. So I said, I like made a comment.

[00:36:22] He was like, no, she's holding the cat. Are newcomer. I've been here a while now. You guys are so festive together. It's a chewy. Yeah. Nice. Thanks. Yeah, so trespassing, right? So there's a video, it's six years old, it's on YouTube.

[00:37:43] It's from a channel Crime. Northern adult men.

[00:39:00] Crime.

[00:39:00] Trying to hide from the owners of the land.

[00:39:04] They were like, we can hear gunshots in the distance.

[00:39:05] So we're just going to be quick. Big deer. I can see the chimney. Oh man. Oh shit. And stuck. Is this a farm farm or something?

[00:40:24] Oh this is weird. This, the whole thing is proper to film. Yeah, to film in this, it would have been a pain in the ass. I mean, look at the height of the ceilings. What year was it filmed? What years? 1992, 93 to 98. Okay, she said at the beginning. I did. You listen? No.

[00:42:41] What I'm saying is it might have been.

[00:42:45] I think it's worth it. I think it's worth preserving it.

[00:42:46] It's, I mean, watching these people go through it

[00:42:49] and it's exactly as it appears on the TV.

[00:42:52] Like they were saying, you know, I'm actually just going to play the clip from it

[00:42:56] because the guy says it better than I do.

[00:42:58] But like every part of it is like a house, none of it is like a set.

[00:43:02] It's all like the attention to details.

[00:43:04] All tiny, all tiny.

[00:43:07] Yeah.

[00:43:07] Like a little hobbit hole, really.

[00:44:02] What is 4,000 volts? What kill you? I don't know.

[00:44:03] I studied millgram, I think it easy. You thought Laura Megan Elsie.

[00:45:40] This is, again, he needs practice more, it is my point.

[00:45:45] I'm a thought, she's so easy.

[00:45:46] She's so soft.

[00:45:47] Look. the night enough to be tiny. Oh, um, what am I doing? Um, I was just washing up. Um, I couldn't think of anything to do so I thought I'd do a little bit of washing up. I think that Laura is Tilly. Oh, okay. Because she just does her own little thing, doesn't she?

[00:47:02] I'm incomprehensible.

[00:47:03] Okay.

[00:47:03] And she just does.

[00:47:04] I think Laura is Tom.

[00:48:02] All the, the, the,

[00:48:05] you're the one that doesn't understand the things going on around her.

[00:48:08] What me?

[00:48:09] Yeah, I know.

[00:48:10] Which makes you, Tilly.

[00:48:11] Tilly.

[00:48:13] Oh.

[00:48:13] He's his friend.

[00:48:14] So we all have elements of all of them.

[00:48:16] So what makes a good character?

[00:48:18] So we, we contain multitudes is what we're saying.

[00:48:20] We all contain multitudes.

[00:48:21] I think I agree with you.

[00:48:24] Tilly, Tom, Tiny.

[00:48:27] Okay.

[00:48:28] You should have a baby. Oh dear. Tom Tom. For fun? Yeah, I'm alright. I'm sure you're alright. Yeah. I know it's quite a nasty thought. It's a police touch. Tell you what the problem is. I've got the yack. Oh, I've got the yack. I've got the hiccup. No, Dave. Well, perhaps you should lie down for me until it's all gone away.

[00:49:42] No, no, no.

[00:49:43] I'll be alright.

[00:49:44] I'll go away, David.

[00:49:45] I'll go away.

[00:49:46] No, no, no.

[00:49:47] It's ailly? Yeah. Tilly was played by three different women. Oh. Oh. With, because you know, French, so we're not gonna notice. No, I think one of them was English. I wish she didn't say Ula-la as much as she did. She said Ula-la-la. Because she says it in this really breathy,

[00:51:00] provocative way, the whole time.

[00:51:02] Ula-la, the whole time.

[00:51:04] And I'm like, she's got a mic.

[00:51:06] Oh, she's like a Monica Chandler Joey kind of situation.

[00:52:21] And my friends do you?

[00:52:22] Yeah.

[00:52:23] I don't know, I get...

[00:52:27] They always go to bed at the same time. But in every episode, in every episode, we mentioned this earlier, they profess that they love each other a lot in a sort of familial kind of way. And they like, I think this is something that's genuinely nice about the show, they just give each other kisses sometimes. It's in everything's sandwich and you make it really fast. Excuse me.

[00:53:40] Hello, Tom.

[00:53:41] I forgot your hat.

[00:53:42] Why are you shep one thing?

[00:53:43] Did you see that?

[00:53:44] That sandwich I made to you.

[00:53:45] I made it really fast. I'm so cupply. Okay, I just, I don't think that any of them are really giving off that energy. I think they're just like a few little family. What do you mean? I definitely don't think that's what they intended, but they are giving that energy. No, I don't think they are. I think they are. No, I don't think they are. I think just whatever they've got going on, they're just hanging out in the woods in their domestic little house.

[00:55:06] Fuck the grind. What I think it's just it and looks I Was star fishing for the listeners in the going out episodes They take their magic sack with them. Sorry magic bag. I'm a sheet

[00:56:24] and in the night garden. Yeah. Yeah. It's not like overly stimulating. Like, I think some kids TV today is horrendously colorful in a way. Crocodile. Yeah, Crocodile. This was like quite muted because it's all real. Yeah. No, it was pleasant to have them in the back. It feels older than it is.

[00:57:42] Might be the quality of it might be quality. It might be quality. But yeah, but it feels a little It was really sad to see the scale in that show was the one that made the least sense but it was just Pleasant it's nice to be able to like praise the production and like creators and stuff who work on the show because recently We've we've done somewhere

[01:00:23] They wish it like I don't think I had anything positive to say about heads

[01:01:27] would fly over the field in which it was filmed with photographers on board hoping to reveal the faces of the actors in the costumes. Visitors to the set had to be blindfolded for fear that they might give away the location.

[01:01:33] We just hadn't prepared for that kind of interest at all, says Davenport.

[01:01:37] People's relatives were getting door stepped, which is a surprisingbag. And it's just, which one's, which color is taking? Purple, the gay one. I mean, yeah, I feel like. There was a news story years ago, I think when Teletubbies was still, you know, around, kicking about, kicking about. And someone claimed that it helped their child

[01:03:01] learn to speak or something,

[01:03:02] which is the opposite of what these complainers

[01:03:05] were complaining about.

[01:03:06] How much do they speak in the Teletubbies? speak, but like if they need help get them some help, don't just stick them. Solve their speech problems. Yeah. Well, she had a similar problem with, you know, the guy from educating Yorkshire that he had a stammer and they just stuck headphones on him. Well, my mum works with stammerers and she was like, yes, that's not it.

[01:04:20] It just plastered over it. Like making a sound covert speech. Is that why it's hard if you're like on the phone and there's you can hear yourself. Yeah. Delaying. Yeah, because it can't speak your brains like, whoa, this isn't how it's supposed to be. And it like really messes with the normal levels of activation and the covert speech,

[01:05:40] your brain goes, whoa, whoa, what's happening?

[01:05:41] Why is the brain doing its job?

[01:05:43] Yeah.

[01:05:44] Why is nothing being heard?

[01:05:45] And then him having the headphones would actually, that's very strange, isn't it? Yeah. Because she speaks much slower than a French person would.

[01:07:03] And yeah, still don't know what she's saying Oh! For sure! You're hello, Cher. Excuse me. Are you very, very, very hungry? Oh, not the other time. Oh.

[01:08:20] But what? Um...

[01:08:22] Does anyone have any other things to say about Tots TV?

[01:08:25] Um, it's only 550 to do that like with these things i'm like how how do and you're like

[01:09:41] fucking hashtag yeah it's hard being the most competent one well it feels like girl stocks We were talking about the, well, this was around the carnation, the anti-royalist sentiment in our household. She was like, yeah, I used to be like that, but now I'm in it. So... Uh? What? Get stuck? And everyone, two, three, two, four, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no and Zippy are. Yeah. See, that is great. That is a mad thruple. Could you do? Some really deranged energies. Sorry, Tots TV is fine.

[01:13:41] It's fine.

[01:13:41] Do you remember if Tilly was just a woman in a costume?

[01:13:44] Like...

[01:13:47] That would be weird. and on the Children's ITV2 block. So there you go, that's your answer. It's more than you asked for. As a kid? No, I asked this. If you positive fucking listen. Oh, well that's not nice. Laura, are you coming back?

[01:15:01] What?

[01:15:02] You coming back next week?

[01:15:03] Could we still have you?

[01:15:03] Whoa.

[01:15:04] There is no next week, I'll see.

[01:15:06] Yes, we finished your soda. I wish I'd got a bit We can still do that. Oh No, you don't want to do that too much of a got bit of an ear infection

[01:16:22] You shouldn't really be out Thank you for that. We do really appreciate it. And to all our new listeners, thank you so much for joining us. We love having you. Well, welcome to the Thoughts TV. You've joined a good time because we're finally doing Tots TV, which, you know, seemed like the obvious one to start with, but we started with Pingo. So, you know, what should we do next? I don't know.

[01:17:40] Have a break.

[01:17:41] What's in the roster for possible?

[01:17:45] There's quite a lot that I want to do

[01:17:46] that I've been seen, never seen. So if that's something you'd be interested in. Once every month, that will see is every other episode. Yeah, I said once every other month. Did you? Yeah. Playback. Yeah. No, you didn't. Okay. Well, we'll me. Yeah, I'm not kicked anything. Because I'm actually separating you two this time, so you can't. I don't have to weigh anything down with any heavy books. It's a rough time. People really understand quite how ratchet this outfit. At least we have a mic each.

[01:20:22] That's unlike my brother.

[01:20:26] Don't be promoting your podcast.