Young Dracula Seasons 3, 4, and 5 (Part B)

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[00:01:00] well listeners this is it this is our fourth and final installment of our young Dracula epic saga if you've managed to get through many hours of young Dracula content that we've spewed out then a congratulations

[00:01:24] you know we spent a really long time working on this one purely just getting it all watched to the honest I guess we really threw ourselves into this one I mean some of us dressed up we filmed it in a studio so yeah it was a lot of work it was a lot more editing for me I'm recording this for a clock in the morning but I feel like it was really worth it because

[00:01:50] it's such a wonderful wonderful show and I forgot how much I loved it to be honest I think I love it more now than I did you know 15ish years ago so I really really recommend watching it I mean we do spoil it in this episode so be you know be aware of that but I'm sure at this point you already know that we're spoiling things

[00:02:17] it's been a pleasure to have you on this journey with us thank you listeners I hope you enjoy our final young Dracula episode and next week we'll be back to much lighter content see you then

[00:02:32] is in the best exotic marigold hotel one and two he's also in two one knows their best exotic marigold hotels

[00:02:47] I would like to talk about the character of Ingrid if that is okay no moving on well we haven't said

[00:03:06] any of this stuff she's gone up to any either of the seasons we've been stuck in because it is

[00:03:11] season three she makes a little cablecade of cheerleaders okay so only fans there are entire that's a

[00:03:20] biz that's a passive income right there it's not passive no because she ain't done the work they are oh I see

[00:03:28] yes he tells the way to the spot talk please oh yeah it's just I'm not doing anything I'll show you the way

[00:03:34] follow me can you later see later I'm really angry do you know I don't think I'll ever get used to

[00:03:43] this is the spot hall oh my mistake

[00:03:47] there are entire seasons of buffy that are less queer coded than this scene with Ingrid in the bathroom

[00:03:58] with that sports team of school girls the first lesbian kiss on telly in buffy was less was less

[00:04:05] less queer coded than that oh my god what was your disguise is you won't all change at once it's to

[00:04:12] do with blood types all very complicated not worth worrying about what have you done to us

[00:04:18] given you a gift made sure you all stay young and beautiful forever so you'll miss your

[00:04:27] families well get over it you know what they were only going to disappoint you anyway well mine have

[00:04:37] it's always hard adjusting to new situations but you're doing this for the greater good what great a good

[00:04:45] vampire celebration of course where a skirt in my world and you might as well wear a sign around your

[00:04:52] neck saying second-class citizen it ends today the revolution starts right here right now in this

[00:05:00] toilet we are going to start with the assassination of Vladimir the Dracula why because he's the key culprit

[00:05:14] soon he'll be so powerful we'll never be able to oust him find him do it today

[00:05:21] vampire celebration

[00:05:28] it means liberation get changed you need to blend in i just quickly want to say that Laura throwing

[00:05:39] her arms out like that it's not for the purposes of the podcast she's like that at home and she does

[00:05:44] routinely nearly take my eyes out well you should like gestures like this like this near my face it's

[00:05:50] like would you fuck off you've been my friend for seven years you should be used to when I actually

[00:05:57] know you should have that spatial awareness we also used to live in a larger place so there was

[00:06:02] ability for more space between us sorry is it the walls that you're that you're blaming

[00:06:11] here no no so they're actually the square

[00:06:19] i'm going to keep your eyes on you you should be so first year yeah we'd be sat in the kitchen

[00:06:28] we'd be sat in the kitchen and i would be a nor i would be a distance from you across the

[00:06:34] distance look what the bat dragged him i told you not to bring her here

[00:06:47] nice to see you too dad if her alone she's sick i'll put her out of her misery you later find

[00:06:54] us you can't tell me what to do anymore you think you can defy me i am your father don't ever forget that

[00:07:06] then what are you waiting for bite me i think that the first episode of season three is fabulous

[00:07:18] i think the way it is written and directed is so perfect and economical and brilliant so it sets up

[00:07:27] Vlad like the first scene that Vlad is in he wakes up in his coffin which he's never we've never seen

[00:07:35] him sleeping before he uses all his powers he's a full he bangs his head on the cover he does he has

[00:07:40] a nightmare he has a nightmare about ingrid actually really over the top coffin yeah yeah yeah yeah

[00:07:46] the sort of yeah so yeah this it's an anderson shelter yes

[00:07:58] so ingrid is running from slayers she's having a bad time of it after her rampage in stokely

[00:08:06] Vlad wakes up he's dreaming about her he bangs his head on the coffin he uses all his powers he goes

[00:08:11] downstairs he has he has an argument with his dad and you can instantly see like this is where we are

[00:08:18] this is where we live um this is how Vlad is doing now this is his relationship with his dad now he's

[00:08:25] older and wiser and more angry and with their we're in it and i think it's getting angry with age

[00:08:31] very relatable or every day i'm angry i think you've gotten less angry yeah you definitely mellowed

[00:08:38] Laura i was a furious 13 year old that's very funny to imagine it's 18 19 i was too fucking uh burn out

[00:08:48] eight at 17 18 to be furious with any energy to be mad basically so in sorry i was so bad too

[00:08:58] it was very Laura actually sorry oh last time we were in the studio oh Jamie is Jamie that runs

[00:09:06] the studio he said so and are all of you Australian and we were like none of us i don't even know if

[00:09:14] i was the first person to speak but when you live with people for enough time you all start to sound

[00:09:21] like you you are you are remembering first you you were like you you went home and your family

[00:09:26] were making fun of you for sounding southern because you had picked up my norr yeah but you're like

[00:09:30] guys i'm not sounding southern i'm sounding southern hemisphere it's different i thought about

[00:09:35] just getting an accent and sticking with it i lost it i don't know where it was

[00:09:43] so in sure in this in this first episode Vlad goes finds ingrid um his dad is like oh she betrayed

[00:09:50] does i want her to die i don't care she's dying she's dying she's got blood poisoning from a

[00:09:56] breathing it she yeah right in the ship it so Vlad goes and finds her he's a very forgiving boy

[00:10:03] and this is his sister yeah she you figure the author i would

[00:10:08] i'm ready but you'd be oh come on so

[00:10:14] so he finds ingrid she's very unwell and he's like come home i know that he doesn't say it but

[00:10:20] dad loves you and ingrid says no he doesn't so that's what this is you're here to gloat

[00:10:26] i'm here to take you home i think it's a bit late to be playing happy families don't you

[00:10:34] we can protect you from the slayers i can handle them

[00:10:38] and

[00:10:41] i'm not afraid to use them on anyone

[00:10:47] your name is

[00:10:56] now you're just showing off

[00:10:58] come home ingrid we missed you we deep down he loves you no he doesn't

[00:11:10] never has never will give him another chance you'll prove you wrong

[00:11:19] bye bye

[00:11:20] stay out of trouble i guess that's what you're best at

[00:11:30] and Vlad's like no he does and you think

[00:11:34] ingrid has absolutely that he's given no reason for you to think that he loves ingrid

[00:11:40] like you're actually key loves ingrid well yeah i know i know they are i'm getting to it

[00:11:45] so ingrid comes home she's extremely unwell the count is being really callous about it

[00:11:52] anyway she recovers um she in this season

[00:11:58] laws a group of visiting girls to the toilets turns them all i was actually watching this with Megan

[00:12:06] i was like she she's going to eat them is she coming to eat those 12 girls but no she's just

[00:12:11] creating sometimes you've got a hunger on what kind of so she creates her own posse

[00:12:17] and it's amazing and then when Vlad goes bad he he pushes her into the sun and

[00:12:29] um she she almost dies and in the episode after she's she oh my god the Claire Thomas is

[00:12:36] just incredible she plays like despondent and depressed and useless just it's just heartbreaking

[00:12:43] so miss mccaulay organizes some therapy for her

[00:12:48] dad doesn't call my brother the chosen one for nothing

[00:12:53] how do you get on with your father tell me about your relationship

[00:12:59] i wouldn't call it a relationship a lot of dad struggle bringing up girls

[00:13:07] do you think your father found you're growing up difficult to handle his heart stop beating

[00:13:12] a long long time ago and it's it's a it's a flashback episode so yeah just quickly

[00:13:20] yeah i will let you finish but lipstick on your whole finger because you put it in your mouth

[00:13:26] pop with it oh this one oh yeah i do um

[00:13:29] um there's two flashback episodes this year there is what to be fair in real time there were three

[00:13:39] years between yes that's fair but i i put my foot down on two pretty close together as well

[00:13:47] because like i get they also they seem to have got more money but then they did two flashback

[00:13:51] episodes and like the first one was called fangs for the memories nice and the second one is

[00:13:58] yeah even though there's a couple of though there's a couple good episode titled names

[00:14:05] do the bite thing do the bite thing yeah uh and so the second flashback episode is

[00:14:11] engridged therapy episode then just called therapy yeah and i can take so many

[00:14:17] engrid and her dad moments but a whole episode of it like all of them i was so miserable because

[00:14:25] all all i won is for the count to love her that is all i want and it was so sad

[00:14:35] prefer if she was able to be happy without striving for his love no i want him to love her Laura

[00:14:42] so in throughout i can't remember what her particular story is in season four oh it's trying to get

[00:14:48] onto the vampire house all yeah so she's given a bunch of tasks and she basically has to do really

[00:14:54] evil things against her family and she does so while there's this is relevant season four but it's

[00:15:01] more about season five that she is she's off doing full political strategy surce shits on her own

[00:15:10] while they're like who's my mom back one of these is a slightly more interesting story to me i

[00:15:19] wrote my notes some Jeremy Kyle drama happening back home and she's trying to take over the world

[00:15:24] one of the stereotypes very different shows yeah now where are we i think you just got more

[00:15:32] gonna dot oh oh war knock you're not another billy big found are you or talk and no action

[00:15:40] now my computerisation of the high council library rest more than a few eyebrows

[00:15:47] computerizing the library does that mean the count is action i made it available in three

[00:15:52] different formats still you two huddle together again what exactly are you up to we're

[00:15:59] pleasant to have thermo again priceless absolutely priceless

[00:16:09] what were you thinking i'm relaxed i'm a girl nobody takes anything i say seriously

[00:16:15] even through vampire you're twisted

[00:16:20] well sweet i'm the good guy here no you're not you lied to me my whole life

[00:16:30] i've always felt like an outsider like i didn't fit in as a vampire and you you why

[00:16:36] if you told me i could have made sense of things i couldn't tell you why not

[00:16:43] it would have been too dangerous look having a child with a breather breaks the vampires

[00:16:50] with secret rules the biggest of all let's head up the clan i would have been executed and you

[00:16:58] you would have been seen as an abomination of led the abominable vampire it's not funny it's hilarious

[00:17:07] if i'm half human how can i be the chosen one i was more than a little surprise about this

[00:17:15] that'll pretend vampire lore moves in very mysterious ways so here's my real father

[00:17:19] it's no point dragging out the path

[00:17:22] who is it?

[00:17:23] very sad episode where romanga basically says oh engrid to get onto the high council i'm collect

[00:17:28] a tear from a member of the Dracula clan and she's basically just doing evil things to her brother

[00:17:34] and her dad and she can't get them to cry and then someone just says something really cutting

[00:17:39] to her and yeah and she collects her own tear

[00:17:42] yeah she just she just did a very you know that bit in princess and the frog

[00:17:49] go on it's been a while one of one of the blonde characters yana's friend does you've

[00:17:56] probably seen a gift of this is very gift where she's radically upset she's ruined her makeup

[00:18:01] she just couldn't see her side i know it reminded me that because she just she just goes

[00:18:06] catches the tear and then moves on yeah she's been really nasty to wolfies isn't she

[00:18:10] she goes come on wolfie just want here and wolfies like you mean oh i love her so that's her story

[00:18:19] in season four like she's three out the three seasons she's plotting against her own family which

[00:18:25] is a very ingrid thing to do she's also doing the most for the like blood cafe

[00:18:31] she is she's running the blood bank yeah doing the most but yeah so she is always trying to get

[00:18:38] her father of ladstaked wait did you steal that off that key give it to me he was worried about you

[00:18:45] are you serious like going to dust him where Dracula's is what we do but is your brother

[00:18:50] did mash them look can we just get out please and the thing about

[00:18:59] ingrid is even though she does some of the most forgivable things in the whole season

[00:19:05] forgivable unforgivable things in the whole show i forgive her for all of it because I think in

[00:19:13] the end she's kind of just joking like she won't actually do it you know yeah i'm just

[00:19:18] i'm not really gonna do it like have you considered that she's like really pretty

[00:19:24] oh if you're that pretty you can't be

[00:19:25] evil yeah it's so true close because when it comes when it comes to the crunch she's always

[00:19:32] there for Vlad why doesn't Erwin want to be a vampire

[00:19:37] because when I bit her brother he changed he didn't care about his saffy little sister anymore

[00:19:42] and when erin turns bam she won't love Vlad

[00:19:47] in fact she'll hate him so why is Vlad going to bite her

[00:20:01] because love is stupid and it makes people do stupid things

[00:20:06] have you ever been in love

[00:20:14] yeah what stupid things did you do

[00:20:25] nothing as stupid as what i'm about to do now

[00:20:27] you

[00:20:32] i said do it Vlad

[00:20:35] you're making a mistake get out look i don't know what's going on with you right now

[00:20:40] and i don't really care but you're not acting like the Vlad i know trust me i spent 17 years

[00:20:46] with the little whip what's your point

[00:20:50] you know how erin feels about becoming a vampire

[00:20:53] yeah eternity's a long time to be hated

[00:20:57] she's always there for Vlad she's always there for Vlad no one else

[00:21:01] she's there for herself and there for Vlad which you know i know i think she's there for her dad as well

[00:21:05] she's never wolfie yeah she was a kind of there for wolfie

[00:21:09] it's good to see you it's been a while since i had a live meal

[00:21:14] you won't make me sick will you sorry but i'm gagging for a pint of warm fresh

[00:21:23] fluffy cuddly curse you why do you have to be so cute

[00:21:32] what how does she end i literally get spits oh yeah okay because i didn't watch all of season five

[00:21:40] suddenly this Scottish man with computer skills is there i'm gonna tell you this now if you had

[00:21:46] watched all of season five you still wouldn't be sure how he popped it because we have this

[00:21:51] car else he goes why did he come i thought he was i thought he was burdened burdened lonely the

[00:21:56] the Italian dude who was in the school and then and then he opened his mouth and i was like that's

[00:22:04] not the same guy um and he's doing all these computer things he's also the the technology thing he

[00:22:10] introduces with those glasses that scan shit that you're reading that is crazy good technology

[00:22:16] that would make millions and millions of pounds but he's just like oh i just this little drinker i've

[00:22:21] got and then he builds yeah she has a good computer setup yeah he's he does their security system

[00:22:27] in their house and that helps them with that and that's how he and i was a little bit of

[00:22:30] foxing grid as well yeah because i'm not a vampire it's pretty obvious the vhc stands for vampire

[00:22:42] high counsel not very hot chocolate and you just shown me a family tree of the impendula who took

[00:22:49] their name from the legend of the queen no can i say i am really into my benches he really need

[00:22:58] to get out more is that an awful yeah he's a brie lay crucially he sloppy top thing grid yeah

[00:23:08] he's he's a breather but he's really into vampires so he kind of just lets them have this he

[00:23:12] he has the vampire fetish yes yeah because at one point she gets his her fangs out to threaten him

[00:23:17] and he's like oh yeah instead of being like uh well to be fair if you were getting with the heat

[00:23:23] whoops if you were getting with the human you would want them to be oh yeah about the fangs rather than

[00:23:29] uh oh you'd want them to be rightly cautious but instead he's like oh yeah

[00:23:36] so at the end of calm can a little neck do now come on what make you into a vampire in this world

[00:23:42] at the end of harsh oh no i'm fully on side for their relationship i think she's there

[00:23:48] i know that you're fully on side you've read so much vampire porn in your time he would be in no

[00:23:54] place to judge i know yeah anyway almost none of the vampire report the the the human love interest

[00:24:03] almost none of it has a vampire thing they're usually made fun of in those books which i think

[00:24:08] is a bit rude because who are those books for yeah you at the end of season four when the counts

[00:24:16] dying there's a he asks in grid to go get miss mccolley so we can say goodbye or whatever and

[00:24:25] so i've had four seasons of yearning like i've wanted the count to all right to just tell just

[00:24:31] not even to like not even to stop hating egregious just to be friendly yeah like

[00:24:38] anything without being hypnotized to do it yeah and he says in grid i've got something for you

[00:24:44] as he's like lying on his death bed and in grid goes over to the count

[00:24:49] in grid in grid what i have something for you

[00:25:04] i want you to have this

[00:25:10] oh you were five when you drew that said you couldn't wait to have your own coffin just like me

[00:25:18] come come look you drew your things because of mine

[00:25:28] you always were more ambitious than flat i thought you only kept flat drawings

[00:25:37] you said you threw all mine away i've never said this before

[00:25:43] but i do love you in grid you don't mean that it's just the poison pickling your brain

[00:25:50] i mean it with all my dying heart

[00:26:02] you drew your fans bigger than mine and he says in grid i have i have always loved you it's so

[00:26:11] oh

[00:26:14] and then the meaning of sentimentality and sincerity

[00:26:19] it is i was i was so i was so happy but like at the beginning of season five the way that those two

[00:26:25] characters it reintroduced is they're shopping for it yeah they fly in as bats with their shopping

[00:26:31] bags they've been shopping together he does say something kind of cutting to her i can't

[00:26:35] remember what it was but there's this vibe change where it's like she knows he's joking

[00:26:41] oh yes oh yes go count go count i'm good by angry

[00:26:49] all right gang is calm you win again

[00:26:53] oh gang is calm gang is calm was an amateur compared to me

[00:26:58] right then that's 12 nothing to me it's official i am invincible

[00:27:04] yeah no wonder they got it a board game this gets any more tedious i might go for a walk in the

[00:27:10] sunlight where's Renfue it's his turn to grovel there's very much of vibe change they're kind of

[00:27:17] sort of comedy duoing together and they they have a game's night together yeah

[00:27:22] i'm just it's all i wanted this is why i love season five it was such a vibe shift it was like

[00:27:29] what else in season five yeah i'm right yeah what what started happening in season five

[00:27:34] just generally speaking well uh Keith Lee Castle has lots of tattoos and

[00:27:44] well you tell the story about how i got you out of your room was just in season five things are a bit

[00:27:48] Lucy Goosey just things are allowed to happen uh that that previously they'd seem to have tightly

[00:27:55] controlled right so i i was in my room um and i heard like squeakier like weird noises

[00:28:02] and i thought it was an animal because one one's like one time there was this cat that was out

[00:28:09] front of our house and um i heard it meowing and i was like oh this is just fucking cat

[00:28:16] and i thought the cat returned is what um and then i went to open the door to see if the cat was

[00:28:20] and no it was LC because when i got out when she heard me come out of my room she said Laura

[00:28:26] come here i'm gonna show you something mind you from episode one the first instance it's possible

[00:28:34] his tattoos are on display so i don't know why it took you that long to notice to notice

[00:28:40] they're just more obvious so it felt like in season five they stopped giving a shit about details

[00:28:46] because you can quite clearly see like he's in his count Dracula get up and you can see his like

[00:28:52] 2008 style tattoos like i mean they look great don't get me wrong but it's just very strange yeah

[00:28:59] you're like oh um suddenly the count has covered in in tattoos all right we're not gonna mention that

[00:29:06] it's it's very it just looked kind of like oh they don't care anymore

[00:29:12] there's quite a lot in these three series that i'm surprised was allowed to air yeah

[00:29:17] like a lot can happen in a weekend you for instance happen in a weekend yeah

[00:29:24] like comment like the bit where Remfield thinks he's gonna get punished and like oh yeah turns

[00:29:30] around for a spankay kidney board sir please a from master but he hates kidney i love

[00:29:41] the

[00:29:58] kidney my mistake master i deserve to be punished

[00:30:04] yeah and they can do quite a good to remfield impression you really can

[00:30:07] what was the what is his name uh i suppose i'll have to be punished now master

[00:30:12] i suppose you'll have to punish when i'm uh she turns around and bends over she just talked about

[00:30:18] redfield in the in this era for us that because he is oh i got he's different and so

[00:30:22] hard disgusting oh no cuz i mean oh come on he really isn't he looks like he's showered

[00:30:30] this century yeah but now he looks so fleshy yeah they stopped covering him in like bog material

[00:30:38] and he's now like weirdly pale he looks more like his dad uh pale like paper sheet white that

[00:30:48] bit like you know in Batman versus you know you know Batman and Robin

[00:30:53] the film yeah the one with Arnold Schwarzenegger he says that he kind of that texture of his skin

[00:30:59] because the the the mr. freeze in that film has like this weirdly textured skin like you can really see

[00:31:04] it and imagine what it would feel like i think redfield skin looks like that

[00:31:08] because i feel like if i i know what his skin would feel like

[00:31:14] yeah which isn't nice you know what he's like i know what his skin would feel like

[00:31:20] i don't i don't really know what that means because i just do know what skin feels like no but

[00:31:24] you know like so i look at you and i assume your skin feels like normal skin yeah soft normal skin

[00:31:30] and his looks more rubbery than that his skin looks textured as fuck like you know um top

[00:31:36] ographical um i don't know what even remotely how to explain what the the thing is i have

[00:31:44] in my head so i want uh kind of like it sprayed on texture

[00:31:51] okay yes and then we yeah yeah the ones of it from being cute yeah yeah and the lids are textured

[00:31:57] like the texture yeah yeah like like his skin is rough i really like when he accidentally well

[00:32:03] he doesn't accidentally he grows he gets hair oh that's so funny the counts here just he

[00:32:10] does he like ask to borrow the counts conditioner or something yeah because he's in the counts

[00:32:15] like what do you know what conditioner and the lads like that pomegranate and just like yeah

[00:32:20] it was left by your mother and you brought it with you from whales it's last to do that long has it

[00:32:25] but me first then i'll give you the coat two minutes you've done my word of course i do

[00:32:32] because you're a big fat liar two minutes head i'm the same size now as i was back in 1680

[00:32:39] will you just do it can we please at least wash his neck first look at it i've got a hanging

[00:32:47] you could give me a quick spit wash with that hey

[00:32:54] never hide never hide

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[00:33:31] Andy since we founded bombas we've always said our socks underwear and t-shirts are super soft

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[00:33:56] slash a cast and use code a cast for 20% off your first purchase i like how um

[00:34:05] uh sarcastic he gets and like yeah he's got more confidence this yeah really really goes out and

[00:34:15] gets what he wants in series five it takes him all the way to the third tell us episode but he

[00:34:20] finally becomes a vampire and i'm feeling it doesn't happen early on in the series because it's fun

[00:34:26] with him as a vampire yeah i like it when he's the same he doesn't change personally every time

[00:34:31] the count wants something ran feelers like i'll do it but bitey bitey bitey you always have

[00:34:37] bitey bitey and like shes his neck off at the beginning of the dark era he he's subject to the

[00:34:44] mind wipe so he like he's a perfect butler yeah it's a lot of fun actually but i'm loving normal food

[00:34:51] yeah i was saying to else i was like this isn't how amnesia works i know that technically he was

[00:34:56] mind wipe not amnesia but it's like he would have had the most unbelievable part of it yeah he would

[00:35:01] have had to have really actual thorough butler training to know how to do any of this it's flampa

[00:35:07] magic the battle school and Belgium most prestigious in the world is it yeah why okay

[00:35:16] well that's why we go we're going to Antwerp soon all of us no no no no it's not it's really

[00:35:24] the country the Belgium the city of Antwerp

[00:35:28] well i'm gonna doxas right now we're in England we're in London

[00:35:32] doxed bum

[00:35:41] you're not funny yes i am i think it's a bit of a could be in Switzerland one of those um

[00:35:48] yeah no it's really hard i don't want to be a butler would you want to be a butler no

[00:35:52] no look at renapier's life unless it was to the count would you yes well that's just because

[00:36:00] you want to fuck the count laura don't be disgusting why have you come dressed like count bait

[00:36:10] at least my neck is covered me and me and i am egg me and egg

[00:36:22] that's how we refer to you when you're not there

[00:36:30] are we slipped into a time warp is it a little early to suggest a teensy weenzy here

[00:36:36] currently more we have slipped into a time warp i haven't touched that stuff since i was 18

[00:36:42] so i have something to say about the the mum human mum stuff if i may oh yeah so i think the

[00:36:51] showdown between Vlad and his dad is really good because like they've been hinting at him sort of

[00:36:59] rebelling and getting much more i don't know i think it's just a fantastic scene there really is

[00:37:07] nothing to tell fine where are you going i'll go see ingrid and a new bff son of high council maybe

[00:37:14] they'll have some answers no no no never be a very very bad idea for him all of us me mostly

[00:37:21] it's howling what's going on no good can come of it 30 seconds or i'm going to the high council

[00:37:27] now you listen to me boy you're opening a can of bats that could ruin everything 15 seconds please

[00:37:34] don't make me do this i like how that like played out but because the count really really really

[00:37:43] doesn't want to say it because he's so ashamed like there's a great bit where he's like

[00:37:49] Vlad i'm not going to tell you when he's like tell me and then he's instantly like please

[00:37:53] so easy yeah because he's a comedy character really and he's again the least subtle person ever

[00:37:59] so there's no way you kept this secret well i was no way the secret existed for him to keep

[00:38:04] when i was watching season five specifically i was watching the count's performance and i was like

[00:38:10] this man must be exhausted he's moving i can i also what's that up so the

[00:38:17] the the the the aspect of how much the count moves is like absolutely

[00:38:25] comedified to like 11 because it's just

[00:38:32] that's for listeners Laura's Laura's moving

[00:38:38] it's not just his body is his face oh he reminds me a bit of Crowley

[00:38:42] oh yeah the count yeah no i agree i think he's funny i think it's just the like

[00:38:50] physical aspects of it the the draping yourself across furniture in such a

[00:38:55] lambastic way oh this is it so well and his hair is so nice shadow warriors would someone like to

[00:39:05] explain

[00:39:08] utterly ruthless almost impossible to defeat the ultimate weapon shadow warriors are a combination

[00:39:14] of vampire and demon with the power to turn into shadows the material isn't just

[00:39:19] sort of form only long enough to kill but they were banned under the vampire convention

[00:39:35] i think that those shadow oh my god the shadow warriors the shadow warriors had so much more

[00:39:46] potential yes the name shadow warrior implies a lot they're like these like yeah these like demon vampire

[00:39:53] things that move in the shadows and like come out of the shadows and you can't you just can't get

[00:39:59] and they solve how to get them so easily fire do you remember the light the opening the opening two

[00:40:07] episodes of merlin season four and there were kind of ghostly things that you had to kill with fire

[00:40:12] and you never knew where they were coming from do you remember the ring race ring rings yes

[00:40:19] do you remember the ring rings from Lord of the Dream Lord of the Rings

[00:40:24] oh

[00:40:27] makes having a connection i don't know anything because of that you know the ring

[00:40:32] right look i spent a lot of time about ten years since i watched all the rings you don't have

[00:40:38] the last goal and you shouldn't know it either it's a really really good job Laura that's what

[00:40:45] you should have a job you know how much i've been working lately you know how i've on your

[00:40:50] not job i've had to plan to fit in everything i need to do in the next week and it's probably

[00:40:57] going to kill me it looked down the camera because she looks so mental when i say i don't have time

[00:41:07] right now to be doing this which i want to be doing i'm self-agency alright you've only got 23

[00:41:13] minutes left

[00:41:18] i'm busy i need your help i want a critical point i need you to dress up as a woman that

[00:41:24] pretend to be mum nothing to cut wait what were we talking about yes you shadow the shadow warriors

[00:41:33] but when they stopped being shadowed and they came into the light it was like cartoon kung fu

[00:41:41] like it was i was watching it i was like i'm going insane this is right this is like Elizabeth's

[00:41:49] confrontation a lost a decent amount of time and his multi stage and realistic ish obviously there's

[00:41:57] magic so you know but um i think the of the mouth effects that she does and i also love cut it

[00:42:02] is scary yeah and i love that there's a moment when glad and angry are are say hiding because they don't

[00:42:07] know how to fight her or they don't have the capacity in that state to fight her and glad turns

[00:42:11] angry he's like how did she do the mouth thing i was so fucking funny yeah the amazing about her is

[00:42:17] that her wig is bad on to dresses but her dress is so bad i saw her thing it was like you know

[00:42:22] it's a dress as much when she's not it's all bad on the wig is just like if you're you're a shape

[00:42:28] you could look however you want and that not you don't face whatever that hair and that dresses

[00:42:36] what you choose they drew it a budget because it's been so much of it on angry dresses

[00:42:43] a fringe in in that confrontation episode she's wearing these shoes like actually these shoes i was

[00:42:51] and there are other things that we thought were like slightly weird that they got shown on kids tv

[00:42:58] like i know that it's older kids and i don't know what's on now i don't need to have a

[00:43:02] hair but you still have full access to this channel as a kid like it's not on an adorgated

[00:43:10] channel like you can just watch this as a child no yeah i know yeah there's like drug references

[00:43:14] yes the um count Dracula references so basically one of the members of the council is suspended

[00:43:21] and it's because of his own personal torture chamber so apart from wolfie has anything else

[00:43:27] exciting happened while i was away is still vooderon has been deposed as the leader of the high counts

[00:43:33] yes quite the scandal fiddling expenses to pay for a uh personal torture chamber

[00:43:40] he's been replaced by the minister for education which means there's an opening for me what do

[00:43:45] you know about education i live in a school which appears to have closed and doesn't it seem empty now

[00:43:52] which you get suspended he was like vampire no yeah he was like fiddling with the finances to

[00:43:55] fund his own personal torture chamber so it's not about the torture chamber it's about it's about

[00:43:59] bezeling yes yes it's about his own and there's like drug references to like what what they got up

[00:44:06] to win witby and that sort of thing it's yeah well well what monsters being attacked you

[00:44:16] how do you stop me too hey it's your cover gargle what was all about you idiot

[00:44:22] oh yeah that you know it's a towed Charles can you say yeah oh dude oh goody

[00:44:30] having a towed in years how very exciting

[00:44:46] hello i'm contractual

[00:44:50] you

[00:44:54] mech talk about the towed oh my god this is world building

[00:45:00] yeah there's an episode it's like in the mid-ice like episode six or seven of

[00:45:07] um the season where they saw it's caring yeah and um

[00:45:12] um

[00:45:13] ramfield it's like in the middle of this plot of like the count's got something in a box that he

[00:45:18] shouldn't have in a box and uh it's all the evil in the universe yes the antagonist of season five

[00:45:25] is called is all the evil in the universe this is another reason why it's like season seven

[00:45:30] of buffy and this is also in that story never mind actually no you go ahead

[00:45:35] and he the count thinks that there's something wrong outside and he sends ramfield out to go

[00:45:41] look at it ramfield comes back in order shoveled and the count's like oh my god what was it

[00:45:45] why you look like that and he's like oh nothing i tripped over a gargoyle there's a towed out

[00:45:50] there asking for you and he goes oh good i've not had a towed in years and he goes outside

[00:45:57] looks around from it he's a towed on the giant fuck off giant towed look around for it's right

[00:46:02] there probably he makes a full thing of looking around because that's like maybe this big it's

[00:46:10] massive and he crouches down he says i'm count Dracula hello my name is count Dracula and then the

[00:46:19] towed vomits up a crystal which turns into a scroll and he goes oh he goes oh

[00:46:26] for the first and it's a scroll that's how he gets his mail

[00:46:33] i love it i love this like season five they just expect the audience to be like oh yeah towed

[00:46:38] of course that's how vampires got to get them all c5 is ridiculous i love it i do i like they

[00:46:47] they did fulfill to some extent my wish for world building in the dark period because there's

[00:46:56] like so many bits and pieces of the vampire world that are talked about they're not explained but

[00:47:01] they are there they're shown and i'm like okay so i understand your governmental structure now

[00:47:06] good unless the chosen one turns up and then dictator fine uh that kind of thing

[00:47:11] because ingrid's time really hard to get on the vhc very hot chocolate um vampire high-cats

[00:47:19] voluntary fire department vhc yes i know um yeah and she's she's facing so much resistance for what

[00:47:29] i assume is a job that you have for life probably doesn't pay well because fucking who's paying them

[00:47:35] what's the structure but what's the taxes for vampires where do they get their money from

[00:47:39] and beat every single other person is an old guy who fucking hates women with such a fervent

[00:47:47] entrenched passion why would you why would you want to go for that job what i was surprised about

[00:47:52] is that the main guy the top guy the guy you get eaten by the evil in the universe

[00:47:59] that plant yeah or she'll agree he whose name i've not bothered to look up before coming here

[00:48:04] and can't now because i've got no signal he's like a proper actor he's in um yeah i recognize him

[00:48:11] he's in the best exotic marigold hotel one and two and he's also in two one knows their best

[00:48:18] exotic marigold hotel sounds he's i think he's placed Norman uh i haven't seen it he's also in

[00:48:28] series five of young Dracula to be fair redfield also on Bridgerton oh yeah Simon Lutter is like

[00:48:36] quite prolific so it seems perfectly reasonable to also be going on Dracula does that i don't know

[00:48:43] maybe he just wanted to do something the next costume as a kid i probably didn't notice this but season

[00:48:49] four is really like it's got it looks they've made it look like the budget was quite high they did

[00:48:56] yeah and then in season five amazing yeah the the whole is like spectacle yeah and season five

[00:49:03] very clearly has a lower budget there's a smaller cast they're entire like corridors of school children

[00:49:12] in seasons three and four series five they've really paired down and it's all recycled costumes

[00:49:18] i noticed there weren't really any new ones especially ingrid because in season four is season three

[00:49:22] and four ingrid had quite a few new amazing outfits and she repeats them in season five i don't

[00:49:28] you know i'm saying all this against season five i did i did love it and i think i had the most fun

[00:49:33] watching that one and i think because a lot of it was just family drama and not you know

[00:49:38] all those political machinations or political machinations exactly the vampire high council i might

[00:49:43] be wrong here but when i i remember there's that bit where you see it and it's this weirdly high

[00:49:48] tower i think that is a straight reference to Castlevania yeah i think it was as well yeah

[00:49:58] it's just a boy counteracto

[00:50:02] just like the old country they knew how to respect who are you and what you want here

[00:50:08] my name is a Sanbo Sam of Bunbunnyili son of Yakko of the Obey tribe of Amshanti

[00:50:15] my clan is destroyed my family are dust i was to claim asylum with the greatest vampire lord of them all

[00:50:23] as it is written on the vampire law no not today thank you you can't refuse him

[00:50:28] as head of a clan you have to help any vampire that requests asylum

[00:50:32] the one of the antagonist in season five is a small black refugee boy who we're not saying

[00:50:40] it turns out he's not a real refugee he is an undercover infiltrator and i was watching it and i

[00:50:47] was like this is this is bad i there was one thing that i hated about this storyline it's really

[00:50:53] specific and i am a narc for picking up on this um he bringing people to task that's what we're here for

[00:51:01] he like um well no because it's not even about what he does it's just about the structure of the show

[00:51:06] he like um he's there as like a spy and um kind of what's the what's the word like goes back to

[00:51:15] his brother and takes them for like double agenting yeah goes back to his brother and tells him

[00:51:22] the things that are going on and says to his brother what would you like me to do and his brother

[00:51:27] essentially says nothing just keep watching and it's like

[00:51:32] what's the point then yeah having this back and forth wait until there's something you could do

[00:51:38] with the information given yeah it is it's just a way of linking these these two characters together

[00:51:44] but our son is essentially pointless and he's really cute though when i write him out in the finale

[00:51:51] he's cute but he has potential to actually be a plot device yeah and yet that he says to his brother

[00:51:58] and there's there's there's almost no point in this conversation even making it to the final cup

[00:52:02] because nothing comes of it he's like what would you like me to do and he's like nothing just

[00:52:06] keep watching them until the time is right and it's like oh okay then it's just great for me

[00:52:14] i don't move the story a log at all it's not the kind of show that can set up i guess

[00:52:20] dread like suspense for that kind of thing it's just not structured the stories and the arcs never

[00:52:26] go in a way that means that that would be a useful scene in a different show where suspense is

[00:52:32] being built dread is being built and you're like oh shit what's gonna fun this isn't that show

[00:52:36] the thing is even shows where they are having that too much makes it really boring and it's like

[00:52:41] imagine as they just said to this little unsuspecting kid go back there and do an evil thing yeah

[00:52:46] that would've been so good yeah and then was the potential for that and they were like do nothing great

[00:52:53] what's the point i like all the puns a lot of puns oh my god um when Vlad calls me

[00:53:04] oh i wrote down the an insult in it i thought was great but using continental wallabat

[00:53:10] i wrote that down as well he's a wallabat it's the count calling someone else and using

[00:53:17] continental wallabat i think it was malic yes yes me too and i googled wallabat and

[00:53:24] and um Vlad calls his father the ungrateful dead yeah which is funny oh there was a moment and i was

[00:53:31] i mean this is the exact of course it's happened we're missing i think he's having a dream and

[00:53:36] miss mccolley is like i have a secret to tell you um and he's like oh i hope you're not missed

[00:53:42] mccolley and i was like there's all there's more cross dressing in these

[00:53:47] renfield gleam for me because i think he's i think at one point uh Vlad says oh you look like a woman

[00:53:53] and he goes thank you oh and the Britney Spears cover oh the ingrid posse of female vampires

[00:54:03] and you've got he wants to join them he wants to be a vampire and he's day dreaming and they're all

[00:54:08] doing hit me baby one more time together and he's so crazy in the pig tail oh it's amazing

[00:54:15] is there anything that guy's not a fool i i like it when the the count says to Vlad um

[00:54:22] waky waky sleepy dead yeah that's good i really i really like there was some moments where

[00:54:27] people when people actually get sinister in the show that i actually really enjoyed it

[00:54:31] don't have that often because usually when they're getting sinister it's still a bit too

[00:54:34] camp for me to fully enjoy it but the when um mallick is doing that vampire tagging right um and then

[00:54:43] Dracula's very like scarily telling him i don't remember what the line was but the i came i saw

[00:54:49] i consumed veni vd oh yes that's a great monologue actually i was so i was like yeah he performs that

[00:54:56] monologue really really well interesting

[00:54:59] you know what he means yeah right the vampires used to joy to mark out their territory

[00:55:11] quite the history bar for me of course we each true differently otherwise it would have rather

[00:55:18] defeated the purpose

[00:55:29] i put mine inside a triangle which if you think about it

[00:55:37] is made up of three things

[00:55:43] i was once young elegant reckless it's like looking in a mirror

[00:55:52] thanks so this is your territory isn't

[00:55:57] no i'll just do you know what the v stands for

[00:56:04] vampire

[00:56:09] veni vd

[00:56:12] vd

[00:56:16] i came i saw

[00:56:21] i consumed

[00:56:29] i'm just messing with the girl go have fun not too much fun remember there was a ceasefire

[00:56:35] i sound like we need a new motto i came i saw i co-existed

[00:56:54] you're so easily impressed because i came i saw i consumed that's that's really good

[00:56:59] that's sick as far i like it i know she loves these vampire things look at her i like it when

[00:57:07] it's last birthday no no no no no it's it's last birthday and he says most 18-year-olds get a car

[00:57:15] dad not all the evil in the universe

[00:57:18] oh

[00:57:22] together the party revamp you which is a part of fucking vlads disaster as politely implementation

[00:57:30] revamp you as disasters that's horrendous i wouldn't do it um there's a bit worth of vampire

[00:57:36] bounty hunters have like this weapon and they call it the vk which i assume means vampire kill

[00:57:48] oh

[00:57:49] when so in the beginning it sees a five when that is sick because he's got a cold cold weak bitch

[00:57:58] and Dracula's like just to renfield like cure the common cold and i'm like my guy

[00:58:05] it's just not gonna happen is it i should have done it weeks ago your infections cleared

[00:58:09] why are you even here i have my reason not anymore get out now

[00:58:14] but the country is crawling with slayers what have they catch me then i'll lend them a stake

[00:58:19] they'll want to take me alive they know i'm the chosen one sister and then they'll use me to find all of you

[00:58:33] you wouldn't say a thing would you

[00:58:38] daddy i'll draw them a map

[00:58:44] oh when the shape shifter and season four is pretending to be renfield and the way that they

[00:58:49] decipher between the real renfield and the fake one they say clean the master's boots

[00:58:54] and the shape shifter says where's the boot polish and renfield instantly

[00:59:01] licks the master's boot with his whole tongue i also with that like they have i

[00:59:07] immediately knew didn't need that because they had the shape shifter renfield had just come from

[00:59:13] the slime pit and it was written as he was punished by being thrown into the slime pit i'm like no

[00:59:19] no i've renfield lots of stuff that i bet he's dirty

[00:59:25] what do you mean like lie up for anything and i mean the actor

[00:59:37] renfield also but the thing is if you were willing to do that man it's shit

[00:59:41] now we have no real idea of what it is or what is capable of not a cloak but

[00:59:47] i've read rumors and their legends old country black tales that it could contain

[00:59:56] all the evil in the entire universe

[01:00:03] actually a lot of evil exactly exactly there's loads of buffy references well no there's two

[01:00:09] buffy references there's two buffy references one in season three and one in no one in season four

[01:00:15] one season five yeah it's ones to ingrid but i don't remember what he says

[01:00:20] well someone says some random slayers has oh for the love of buffy and in the university challenge

[01:00:27] episode you've got yeah i swear i swear i swear someone he says something's ingrid about

[01:00:37] in the Elizabetha because i really like the Elizabetha fighting because it's like they use a lot

[01:00:43] of powers in a way that they don't usually do and um ingrid almost does a straight-up coming

[01:00:47] humming her and i was like well it's from draggable she like does the yeah no fine but she does the

[01:00:55] stance where she and i was like there's some nerds in the background of this show with making

[01:01:01] these decisions i need you to hack into the vhc records for me again bring up everything

[01:01:06] you can get on a till either you really can't let me get you don't push it or i might do

[01:01:12] something you regret now get a move on before i turn you into a human haggis nice where are you

[01:01:17] guys satisfied with the ending i am glad that this season happened when i was watching seasons one and

[01:01:25] two i was thinking am i going to miss these when it gets darker but i genuinely had the time of my life

[01:01:32] watching these i had a lot of fun like we've spoken about all the quote-unquote issues that we had

[01:01:39] but like you know ways that it could have been tighter story wise or whatever but i genuinely

[01:01:46] loved these three seasons every single one i'm so yeah i'm surprised we didn't get more

[01:01:51] air and hate from me i'm so much lots of stuff i think about i really could talk for a lot longer

[01:01:59] but we just don't have time i was reasonably satisfied with it as an ending i was like okay they're

[01:02:04] doing that nice oh let's all sit in a room and tie up all the loose ends and also you could buy

[01:02:09] and kind of amicable way kind of the closest comparison i think of like friends they were like

[01:02:14] in that one place and they will amicably leave with a plan it was the only episode that didn't

[01:02:19] end with the theme tune oh yeah so it sort of faded off to sort of peaceful music and i did find

[01:02:26] the ending of all those sort of high-drama episodes to be kind of a kind of a shark when it

[01:02:33] finished with the dee dee dee dee dee dee dee it's like this is a sitcom theme yeah no they're not

[01:02:39] bothered to change i love the theme tune it's great

[01:02:57] um yeah we could talk for longer but we don't i'm sorry that this has been a really long

[01:03:07] episode we hope you stick around i don't know if it's there mad i think you guys are happy with it

[01:03:14] Laura thinks you're happy so you're happy all right tell us if you're not

[01:03:18] no don't tell us if you're not tell us if you're not tell us if you're not

[01:03:21] if you're not you're shocked thank you so much for watching slash listening this is an episode

[01:03:27] on youtube so shall we end up by doing the socials yes or maybe let's not bother this time everyone knows

[01:03:39] you are laughing we got four minutes all right on tiktok we are thoughts tv pod on instagram we are

[01:03:46] thoughts tv though is a zero on twitter we are thoughts underscore underscore tv when we bother to tweet

[01:03:54] yeah you can email us at thoughts tv 2002 at gmail.com you know if you're a wine company the

[01:04:01] one sponsor is please get in touch or we have a discord as well which is linked on all the

[01:04:06] socials and we have a patreon if you'd like to become a patron there's bonus content on there

[01:04:11] and there will be more to come because i'd like to give away even more of my social life

[01:04:16] this is my social life i don't have any other friends i don't what fuck me stop doing that

[01:04:21] i don't do anything else this is my life same oh my god in the cinema we're going to the cinema

[01:04:28] tomorrow i've been on socials with you

[01:04:32] oh my god i'm tired

[01:04:33] so i'm so tired but please would you go on to Spotify and leave a ranking leave a five

[01:04:41] starts no less than five stars if you're gonna leave less than five stars if you're gonna

[01:04:52] leave a five stars if you're gonna leave less than five stars don't write

[01:05:02] if you're gonna leave less than five stars do it on apple

[01:05:04] do you want an apple for a cast or a dog or a fox or like one of the weird ones

[01:05:08] yeah there's so many weird ones who listens to us on an Xbox i want to know one of you does

[01:05:14] yeah oh also this is the beginning of my one person campaign to get Keith Lee castle a baffer

[01:05:21] sorry i thought you were just gonna say to get Keith Lee castle

[01:05:27] i believe he's my right anyway thanks for listening

[01:05:52] you

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