A Champion Night

[00:00:00] Alright Champ-Ollix, wherever you are in the world right now, it's the wrong place,

[00:00:05] unless it's Lester. Get there and be ready for total combat.

[00:00:11] See me live on February 24th at Lester Comedy Festival. Champ-Tabulous.

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[00:01:43] It's like your own personal post office. Mate's race. Only free on Tuesdays. Anyway, as the beast in me belly needed defeating, I needed to be getting on with eating. So I jogged down I Street of wherever I were, desperate to find a late night kebab party for one. And then? I found one. Not just anyone, but the one.

[00:03:01] And what does that mean?

[00:03:03] When you find a kebab house like that, it's magical.

[00:03:06] Like, your body's been cracked open I'm very hands off now. Ken and Babs kababs. Take one. He's Ken. And I'm Babs. No, you numpty. You're Ken and I'm Babs. God, we're bonkers. We're like an old married couple. Except we're not married. Long story. Oh, for the love of wrestling.

[00:04:21] See, I told you they'd be gold.

[00:04:23] Let's start again.

[00:04:26] And she's Babs.

[00:04:28] Look, champ, get metres before my lungs burst and my legs gave way. Would I do that? Well, you know, Night of Champions, Champion, Chompignon, fairly lame joke. Oh, Deimos, Deimos, Deimos. How you underestimate me? Must be them nag of chilies. Bastards, mighty fire.

[00:07:02] Use your bug.

[00:07:03] Yeah, no, yeah, go for it.

[00:07:04] And by the way, there's a fresh can of Febreze in there,

[00:07:07] just for you.