Rewind: Autumn (the one about gourds and those astronauts)

[00:00:00] Did you know you can see Legitimate Likes live at the Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival? Tap the link in the episode description to book tickets now. Michael, you're like, rather than yes and, you're like, no. Got the cold open in. Hugh just built himself, he made his editing job easier. Smashed it. Back to one everybody!

[00:00:38] Welcome to Legitimate Likes, the comedy podcast where we take a look at some of humanity's most popular fascinations and we try to work out whether they're worthy of the hype. They're likes! But are they Legitimate Likes? My name's Will, and I'm joined as always by Hugh. Hello Hugh. Hi Will, how are you? Oh, I'm very well. Did you hear the little laugh that I did in the middle there? Yeah, you sound in a great mood. I am a great mood. What's got you so happy? Well, it's not a very good thing to say at the start of an audio medium, but I've got the most smiley, lovely face in front of me.

[00:01:06] I've pinned him to the Zoom call, looking at no one else but him. It's John Gallagher! Uh oh, my English does get it. Controversy from the off. I really didn't mean to do that. John, welcome back. Hi Will, hi Hugh. I've been assimilated enough to know that I got it wrong, but not to stop myself before I do. I'm surprised you don't actually go too far the other way and say, John O'Hallach! John Gallagher!

[00:01:36] Like people saying David O'Dockety. Oh God. There's no C or K. But I could think of a word with a C and a K to describe those people. Anyway. In fact, I can think of multiple words with C and K. God, they're very versatile letters. John, what's been happening since you were on last? You last came on around Easter to talk about chocolate bars, I think. It was. Yeah, I've mostly been... We have a little baby.

[00:02:01] And the big development in my life recently is that I have become a real Nazi about the Sunday walk. Thank God that sentence finished that way. Really, really good. Please don't cut that sentence halfway through. Just a light little anecdote to start things out. I wondered why the moustache was the way it was. A shaving error. But yeah, no, so every Sunday I'm kind of insisting that if we live in this kind of lovely, beautiful county,

[00:02:29] we kind of go off into the countryside and find these kind of little like Midsomer Murders pubs and tramp around Dales and Hills. I'm having a great time. Don't really know about anyone else, but yeah. John, I would just like to say, you say you have a little baby. I've met your baby. There's nothing little about him. He is immense. I brought him earlier on to the library. He physically menaced a 14-month-old Albanian boy and then managed to... I've never seen someone do something like this.

[00:02:58] He sounds like a Nazi. Oh, he's a very, very kind and left-leaning baby. But he does kind of... You're meant to hold their head up, John. This baby's lolling over to the right. Oh, no! I've just never seen him kind of create a scene in the same way as... He was heading towards the board books, kind of got them in his eye and he decided to make his way and started to crawl.

[00:03:24] But with every movement of the crawl, he would issue genuinely a loud adult volume fart. And so it was like watching a cartoon dinosaur move across the screen. Just gently, with these kind of concerned readers and other people who are in the library in the middle of the day just staring at him. But yeah, no, he's great. He's absolutely gigantic.

[00:03:50] I mean, yeah, as board books are to normal books, I feel your son is to normal babies, you know? He's just got that extra, mega, massive quality about him. But John, speaking of adult volume farts, I think it's about time to introduce our producers, Onya and Michael, who run this ship. Hi, Onya and Michael. Hello! Never see it coming. Never see it coming. How are you both? Just kind of keeping a low profile.

[00:04:19] Just want to let Michael take a light of the heat here. And you'll take the smell. What sort of, what sort of baby were you like, Onya? Were you, were you a big bouncy baby? The babies in my family are, our family are all enormous. I was just under 10 pounds. My brother, over 10 pounds. My father before me, over 10 pounds. We're whoppers. Yeah. What is? Michael, I think interestingly developed into a fascist rather than being born into it. Michael, what did you weigh at birth?

[00:04:49] Oh, I was a small, I was a small guy. He weighed his coins. I was a small guy. I can't, I don't know, what was I? I was, I was like, five or six, five or six pounds. Oh, that's respectable. Is that, yeah, is that right? Yeah, yeah, I guess so. Respectable. It's more, it's more the one that's yet to come, Michael, when you weigh your heart against a feather to decide whether you'll be taken down into the underworld or not. Is that a reference to something? No. Egypt?

[00:05:17] Yeah, it's very rare that you'd have Anubis in the maternity unit. But for certain very special babies. A friend of mine, whenever he has a particularly bad hangover, he does two things. One is that he used to come down the stairs, kind of gaunt and grey faced, and he would just whisper, take me to Dignitas.

[00:05:37] But the other is that the way he describes the severity of his hangovers, if he has a particularly bad one, he claims that he wakes in the morning and that he can see Anubis in the corner of the bedroom, just kind of eyeing him palefully. So yeah, much like Michael Sprint. Anubis would be in the maternity ward because he's a mummy. Well done, Will. That was great. John doesn't know whether to go along with Will on this or whether to try and correct him on the historical... He's thinking of... Mummies.

[00:06:06] Mummies. Mummies. Him and Brendan Fraser hung out, no? That was a grave. Anubis has a big dog head, does he? So is Anubis not a mummy now? Is that not Horus? It's a jackal, right? Oh, Anubis is a jackal. Yeah, with the big pointy ears, you know? Yeah. Right up top. Man, I really took a punt on something. I don't really... I just assumed that was a mask or something. So you're in John's house now when it comes to Egyptology. John, I bet you wish you were an Egyptologist, do you? Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

[00:06:34] I mean, the loose fitting clothing for one thing, right? Yeah. I mean, I'm of a body type where the standard academic thing is kind of a bit close fitting, quite warm and indeed warming. But the idea of kind of sashaying around in khaki, I think... Yeah, John, I mean, I've seen you sashay. I've seen you wear a pair of trousers that turned into a cape. What? Or possibly vice versa. Do you not remember? You're gonna have to remind me. I mean, it's about 15 years ago, but...

[00:07:04] Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. Was it purple or orange or...? My Thai fisherman trouser era. Ah. I was imagining like stripper rip off. You know that clothing that just like tears off? Tear away clothes. I thought that's what... Everything I'm wearing is velvet. um Well, why are we? Why are we here? I don't know why I asked that so depressively. Why aren't we here? Uh, well, we're here to talk about...

[00:07:31] I know it was very close to the princeling of autumn, John Gallagher. Uh, we're talking about seasons of mists, seasons of mellow fruitfulness. It's the autumn episode. Uh, and we brought our special guest, John on. John on. You're really struggling through this whole introduction. Yeah. It's like... It's like you've got a big mouth full of... Marbles. I don't know. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Crunchy autumn leaves. Uh, I've got a... No, I'm not gonna finish that. Um...

[00:08:01] No, go on. You have to. You have to. I was gonna say a mouth full of gourds, but... Doesn't sound right. You've read my memoir? That's... That's so tame. A mouth full of gourds by John Gallagher. Oh, the Gallagher was... Oh. It was rough. Michael and I have always prepared a quiz. Michael, do you want to start or shall I? Uh, yeah, I'll go for it. Onya, are you absolutely smashed? Yeah.

[00:08:30] Sounds like you've been down in the autumnal wine. Yeah. Some mead. Some... Mead. Fine mead. Um, I actually did have a glass of wine a few hours ago, but now I'm really concerned, but it was... It was really just a... Just a... Sort of a glass in a 750ml bottle shape. Actually, my... Yeah, I'm not... I'm not with it. Uh, my... Do you want to go first? Yeah, sure. Sure, I will. I'll step in here. And maybe second and third. Okay.

[00:08:58] So, question one in the quiz. What links Rupert the Bear, Doctor Who, and Lenny Kravitz? Oh! Easy. I know. I know. I don't know this. That's easy. Will we give Hugh a... I want Hugh to give his guess. I want to... I want to... Uh, so Rupert the Bear wears nice yellow check trousers. Yes. And a red jumper. Yeah. But no cape, crucially. Um, I've forgotten the second one. Lenny Kravitz.

[00:09:28] Doctor Who. Doctor Who lives in a phone box that's big. Uh... He lives in a phone box up in the sky. Doctor Who does. Uh, and Lenny Kravitz has, uh, lots of songs. Um... And has a daughter called Zoe Kravitz. The phone box thing, follow that. The phone box, TARDIS. Uh... It's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. Are they all bigger on the inside than they are on the outside? He's got it, finally.

[00:09:58] They were all very good at the Hunger Games. Surprisingly so. Should we say it at the same time, Mr. Gallagher? Yes. Three, two, one. Huge scarf! Yes. Yes, they do. They all wear scarves. I was thinking of eagle-eyed cherries. That's why I was so confused. Instead of Lenny Kravitz. Okay. Oh, essentially instead of Rupert the Bear. Yeah, they all wear scarves. The, uh, the classic autumnal accessory.

[00:10:25] And, uh, Hugh, do you know about Lenny Kravitz's scarf? The other guys obviously do. I absolutely don't. So Lenny Kravitz was... Oh, you gotta Google it. ...was, uh, famously pictured, I think this is in 2012 or 2013, but people are still talking about it, um, wearing an absolutely enormous scarf. It was, you know, a couple of feet wide and many feet long. And he was just wearing it like it wasn't no thing walking down the street in New York. Uh, can I confess something? Yeah. I don't really know who Lenny Kravitz is.

[00:10:54] I'm sure that he's a singer or she's a singer or they're a singer, but Rupert the Bear and Doctor Who came up and I thought as a joke, I'll say scarves. And then when you said Lenny Kravitz, I think, oh, I think the answer might actually be scarves. So I don't... Lenny Kravitz just feels like a scarfy name. Yeah, he's a big scarf guy. Yeah. Big scarf. Could you divide, Will, um, celebrities into scarfy and non-scarfy? Yeah, give me some celebrities. I'll let you know if they're scarfy or non-scarfy. Scarlett Johansson. Scarfy.

[00:11:24] Serene McKellen. Big scarfy. Top scarf. Top scarf. I've seen Ian McKellen in person wearing a lovely scarf. Jack Chirac. Not scarfy. Scarfy. Scarfy. From the Lion King. He's not scarfy. He's got mane. Scarface? Not scarfy. Not scarfy. Okay. Very much an open neck situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. Your story checks out, Will. It works. Yeah, I haven't been wrong yet.

[00:11:51] Is Rupert the Bear, he's probably the nattiest dresser of all the cartoon bears really, isn't he? I don't think anyone... But Winnie the Pooh is nude from the waistcoat. Yeah, it's true. Paddington is a flasher, definitely. Yogi Bear is fully nude. No, he has a waistcoat. Oh yeah. Which in many ways is kinkier than just me. No, Yogi Bear wears it, he wears it like a green fedora and he also then wears a tie and he's got a collar but no shirt. So it's kind of... Actually, when you think about it, he's kind of dressed... That's very Chippenday. Exactly.

[00:12:21] He's dressed like a male stripper. He is. I was gonna say Mad Max, but I'm thinking of... What is it? What's the stripping show? Magic Mike. Magic Mike! Magic Mike. Mad Max. Mad Max. The only thing that could improve Fury Road would be a fish strip. Anya's got a straw in her mouth. Just sipping away at her. Chardonnay. I have a bottle of Balaji. Even that sentence, Anya, you're just saying something...

[00:12:47] You're genuinely saying just like, I have a bottle of Balaji and it's gonna get me through this cram. My mouth feels very full of saliva and we're using on... For all the listeners. Okay, so I'm gonna give you two words and I want you to tell me what they relate to. So the first one is the Japanese word, Mamajigari. And the second word is the Finnish word, Rusgareki. They are an autumnal activity. Can you tell me what they are?

[00:13:13] What I would say is before we get any answers is that Jon is undoubtedly of people I know and definitely of our guests on the podcast so far. Jon is the most languaged person I've ever met. Jon, you know how some of us when we go to another country, you try and learn a couple of phrases. Jon is like, no, I just must achieve fluency in the next week. So I think you've talked about how difficult Finnish is as a language Jon, but I refuse to believe you don't have any of it. Do you? So you never got to the end of it. I can say thank you.

[00:13:42] And I which is I think thank you is kitos and cheers is kippis. And I can say I love you, which is mina rakastan sinua. Will do you have any idea of the answer to this question? I think I well, I'm going to have a guess, a contextual guess, which I think it's Jon's nodding a lot. I don't want to take away the limelight. Are you are you guys guessing just because it's something that there's a link between Finland and Japan? No, there's no link. There's no link. But they mean the same thing, right? They mean the same thing. They mean the same thing.

[00:14:12] I don't. My guess is but it's not the word I know for in Japanese. Is it forest bathing? Jon, that's very close. I'll give somebody else a go. Crunching leaves. No. So forest bathing is another word. This is something similar, but this is looking at leaves as the colors change. Leaf peeping. Leaf peeping. And that's what it's known as in the US. But I knew you would get that. So leaf peeping is the term used for traveling to view and photograph fall foliage, particularly in New England, Appanachia and the upper Midwest.

[00:14:40] And the term leaf peeper is used to describe people who do it. And a gathering is known as a leaf peep show. None of these words is good. But there is. This is a thing in Japan. So forest bathing. And then there's also a camera with the term for it. It's where you go to take in the cherry blossoms is another form of just taking in the natural beauty. But it's a big thing in Finland as well. And they have beautiful autumn leaves. So for our last question, I'm going to give you three American autumnal festivals.

[00:15:10] And I want you to tell me which one is real, which two are real and which one. I love it. So the first one is the Fire Ant Festival in Marshall, Texas. So every October 8th, this festival takes place. It involves fire ant mascots and events like a diaper derby. Derby? Derby? Oh, in America, Derby. Derby. Parade, chicken chunking contest, fire ant calling contest and a gurning competition. Okay.

[00:15:39] Our second autumn festival on October 29th. Did you say, sorry, chicken chunking? Chicken chunking, yeah. Never chunked a chicken? I haven't. How many chickens can a chunk chunk chicken with a chunk chunk chunk? Chunk. And then if you were- And you jumped in like a hype man. Chunk! What? I know where he's going. I was doing the low harmony. So if you're in Corse Gold, California on October 29th, you can go to the Tarantula Awareness Festival,

[00:16:07] which comes around just in time for Halloween and has the goal of educating the public about the California brown tarantula. And this involves a pumpkin cheesecake competition, a scream off, a tarantula poem contest, a spider race, and a hairy leg competition for the humans. How would you do in that competition, John? The hairy leg competition? I think I'd do all right. I think I'd do just fine. You know?

[00:16:38] I'm backing myself here. So I'll give you the third one. So the last one is on the 5th of November, the Tewkesbury, Massachusetts Gourd Throwing Festival, which dates back to puritanical times, where the townspeople dress in period costume and take part in competitions to grow and throw their own gourds. There's prizes for the largest, longest, most inventive shape and the furthest throne. And the event culminates in a competition to throw a gourd over the original town hall.

[00:17:04] The winner is gifted a miniature, gold-plated pumpkin pin and crowned the Gourd King of Queen. I mean, if that's not Anya, if that's not Anya, then well done. I mean, like they're all mad, obviously, but Anya loves a gourd. And the only thing she loves more than a gourd is talking about a gourd. And probably the only thing she loves more than that is making up a quiz question about a gourd. So I can't see any other answers being honest than a gourd.

[00:17:34] She also brought up gourds before this. Yeah, but they are an autumnal treat. It was gourd shadowing. They are. I think throwing it over a Puritan town hall is very Anya, you know? Yeah. She's very Puritan. But then is the fire ant and the tarantula thing like, have they... Is it like, oh, is that someone who was inspired by the other one and went insect-y and whatever the spider is? Arachnid-y and... Arachnid-y.

[00:18:02] I think that's the tarantula one definitely sounds real to me. Um... I think that's an awareness festival. Like, come on. Well, isn't it, you know, trying to stop the stigma because tarantulas are actually really useful and great? Which is why they're having a scream off. Is there a scream about how much you respect tarantulas and don't care? How are they useful? What can you use a tarantula for? Like, what are they... What are we harnessing their powers for? Well, I think they're just an important part of the Californian ecosystem. They are not.

[00:18:33] They are not. They are in their way. Big fluffy hands that just move around. They are not. Well, that's what we could say about you. You're an important part of this ecosystem. Well... Well... Well... He's a part of it. So... It's only when you see all five of us on Zoom that you're like, yeah, we could probably ditch them at this point. Um, so what are you going for? John, what do you think? I...

[00:19:00] So I do agree with you, and the thing is, I think tarantula might be a curveball thrown by Anya, but I think Tewksbury and the Puritans are the fake one. Now, the reason I think that is because Puritans not noted players of games. Uh... And very much kind of like move into America, kind of because there was a bit too much game playing going on back in England. Now, it could be that the good people at Tewksbury are just massaging their history, and I'm dead wrong, but I say, what do you think?

[00:19:29] I think we go with Tewksbury Gourd Festival. Okay. It's the gourd throwing. Yeah. Unfortunately, yeah, there is no Tewksbury Gourd Festival. There's no pumpkin or gourd king or queen. Not yet. I'm absolutely devastated. I know. The end of this episode. You are the gourd queen. Thank you. I... Yeah, I enjoyed that so much. Should have been the gourd lord, really. Yeah. I came close to granniness after pumpkin. How many different gourds are there?

[00:19:59] So you've got your pumpkin, you've got your squashes, you've got your courgette. Spaghetti squash. You've got a squash, you've got spaghetti squash. Come on. Are courgettes a squash, John? They're a gourd. Yeah, a gourd, yeah. Auberjines. You and I have a long history of when we come to visit each other of buying a large, a large butternut squash as we can find and hiding it in the other's pillowcase. That's large and protuberant squash.

[00:20:24] I think you may have once flown home from Kerry with a butternut squash in your wash bag. Yes. Unbeknownst to you. I think that's correct. I arrived back in England, opened up to unpack several weeks later. And yeah, there was Hugh's gleaming butternut squash. Oh my gosh. So Autumn, do you want to give your opening statements? Autumn, good or bad, harbinger of doom, of winter or just a good crisp of the time? Yeah, Autumn's lovely I think.

[00:20:54] I think it's funny because as well it's got such a, certainly in the northern hemisphere, western world, like it's so connected to going back to school. And I appreciate not everyone stays in school for the rest of their lives. But even if you don't, there's still that, it's always got that connection. And so in a way it does always have the beginning of a year feel to it. And in a way that maybe the horrible days of early January might not. Yeah, I think Autumn's lovely.

[00:21:24] I think you've got great weather. I like the evenings closing in a bit. I know there might be a controversial statement. I like the dark evenings. Yeah, I mean in general I'm pro-Autumn but I'm eager to discuss things with people because it certainly has its downsides. Yeah, I'm pretty pro-Autumn too. Again, it's a weird choice for an episode but I love it. I love that crisp crunch of Autumn leaf as you crunch down on your first morning bowl full at the start of October. It's lovely. It's horrible when the leaves get mushy though, isn't it? Yeah, you've got to eat them quick.

[00:21:55] Yeah. John, what are your thoughts on Autumn? Boringly I am very pro-Autumn. Yeah. I love being cosy. I love putting on a big jumper, curling up with a book, a little steaming cup or something nice. Big fan of it. There are things I don't like. I don't like the clocks going back, which I think is bad and insane. But overall, it's a crack in time. Isn't it really bad for the environment when they change the clocks?

[00:22:25] In what way? Talk us through that one. Yeah. So what's happened here is I've read something years ago, not fully understood it and just said it to someone like John and Hugh who I think are smarter than me and hope they knew what it was. So there's something to do with when you change the times, like the amount of extra use of fuel or something. It's like, aww, that's bad. That's genuinely me trying to explain it as best I can.

[00:22:54] I mean, in fairness, it's something that humans do. It's probably bad for the environment. You know, it's something unnecessary that we do all the time. Yeah, probably bad for the environment. We have to stop putting the clocks back. We simply have to. Like, it is so hard living in this bit of the Northern Hemisphere. And the fact that we voluntarily choose to remove an hour of light from the evening,

[00:23:19] a time when humans are awake and enjoying their lives, and give it to the morning, a time for school children, farmers, and no one. Milkmen. Sorry, I'm actually genuinely angry about this. I can't even do a joke. Milk persons. Exactly. And John, as a parent of a young child, I'm sure as you've discovered, there is no daylight savings time reset button on a one year old. Like they are going to sleep and waking up when they want to.

[00:23:47] So, yeah, it's terrible for loads of reasons. Michael, you do that. Yeah, I do. I do. I do. I'm really set in my ways. But the one where you get an hour in bed is when it gets darker, right? Yeah. So... It's a Pyrrhic victory on you, yeah. What's that mean? You know, you win, but at a cost. A Pyrrhic. Pyrrhic. My name's Pyrrhic Victory. Lovely to meet you. Pyrrhic Victory. He does sound like I said that.

[00:24:13] Yeah, but I can't do that accent, so I've gone with a sort of vague Australian and I don't know if that's right. It's pretty good. It sounds pretty high pitched. Thank you. I think South African would have to be a bit more good. Oh, yeah. Actually, Anya, can I use you to test a theory of mine? Sure. Which is, I think that the funniest thing you can say in a South African accent is Masonic regalia. Could you say that in a South African accent, please? It's so the regalia. Did it live up to it, John?

[00:24:43] It's everything I dreamed and more. So, one question that I did have was, do you think that there's a bit of a fantasy autumn that you never quite reach? Yeah. You're looking forward to it and then it doesn't really come to fruition. I do, I do. And as a counterpoint to all the nonsense that was talked just a couple of minutes ago, I will say, it's not that I hate autumn, but it's the fourth best season. Like, it has none of the appeal of any of the other seasons.

[00:25:11] Summer, clearly best. Spring, you're getting into summer. Winter, go with me here. Just before spring, then it's summer. Pretty good. Has Christmas, then autumn. It's like people who say that autumn is the best are like people who say that George Harrison was the best beetle. But Michael- They're just being contrarian. They're just being wrong, you know? Michael, in these islands, the issue with the way you've described winter as being, you know, spring is right around the corner. Winter in Ireland and in Britain where I live is six months live. Yeah, it's true. It is a six month season. It's true.

[00:25:40] Like, we're bearing into it now and we won't come out of it until maybe April. If we're lucky. Yeah. Spring is two weeks in May. Exactly. Winter has that, the night is always darkest before the dawn thing going for it. Do you know what I mean? Michael, do you imagine it as like, you know those primary school posters where it's like February to May, there's labs. Yeah. Not gambling, not like blackjack. Gambling. What kind of school did you go to? Blackjack. Blackjack. The school of hard knocks.

[00:26:08] And then it's summer and then it's like everything. You, you, you, I mean I think it's very- They're playing craps in summer. Yeah. It's very moronically optimistic that you think that sign on the three months that you'll be- Big word. Big word there. Yeah. Can we say that in South African, South African accent? Moronically. No, that's- Why so evil on ya? I think that was summer's life. Yeah. Um, yeah, I, Michael that's, that's- No, winter, winter's got Christmas. Okay?

[00:26:37] There's no way that Christmas is worse than not Christmas. Okay? So, like it literally goes, the worst part of the year is autumn, gets better from then on out. And that's, that's the way it goes. Yeah. Michael, it's like reasoning with a child. It's like my favourite time of year is my birthday. Yeah. Yeah. Children are capable of change. And growth. And growth. And growth. I don't know if anyone knows Cafe Paradiso, which is a vegetarian restaurant in Cork. Yes.

[00:27:05] Their chef, Dennis Cotter, writes that he's never been comfortable with the neat compartmentalization of the year to four even seasons. I would sometimes argue that there are probably seven, and I think that's probably true. That early autumn- Sleepy, dopey, grumpy. So what are they? Name them. Name them. I suppose the other question though is, are we talking, do we talk meteorological, meteorological autumn or what? What's the other? Calendrical autumn. In South African, please. Meteorological autumn?

[00:27:33] But September is very different to, you know, November. But exactly what do we define as autumn? So I think- I get in trouble. No, I think- Because- I think Met Aaron- Go ahead, John. Sorry. I think Met Aaron would have something to say if Webster's English Dictionary describes marriage as- It's your toast at every wedding. Yeah. I actually do want to hear what Met Aaron said. Go on, Mike.

[00:27:59] I'm pretty sure Met Aaron defined autumn as September, October, November. And then winter is December, January, February. That's it. But why did your primary school tell you that it's August, September, October? Because the first- Well, it's- Isn't part of it the names of the months in Irish, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where October is Derefor, right? Is the end of autumn. End of autumn. But also because we need to get- Because for us, right, the first of February, St. Bridget's Day is the first day of spring.

[00:28:28] Which, I mean, categorically it isn't. It's a lie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, absolutely fuck everyone who says it isn't as well. Because I'm a huge St. Bridget stan. We'll hopefully be back here in January, February, and we can talk about this. Big cloaks, again, there's a theme. Great woman. But yeah, I think in Ireland we wrap ourselves into knots, into little- Celtic knots, yeah.

[00:28:53] Yeah, because we are basically deep in hock to St. Bridget and to the idea that the first of February is the status burden. But is there also an argument that actually, regardless of this, the seasons should be between solstice and equinox? And then so on. Equinox is just a cool word. Equinox is a cool word. You're dying to use it. Yeah, mic drop from Hugh there. And you know that the plural is probably like equinaces. I think that's something you take if you've got a cold.

[00:29:22] It's a disease of horses. Sorry. Anyway, autumn, right? It's very good. I mean, I guess the fantasy autumn thing is the idea of like a picture of New England, you know, where the leaves are every single colour of the rainbow drifting down. And you could be cycling down the street, you know. And as I say, you have that lovely, there's the lovely autumn morning in Ireland when the leaves have come off the trees. They're crunchy, they're red and yellow and orange.

[00:29:51] But then like within an hour, they are just a horrible mulch. Who's really fantasizing about autumn? Me. I didn't, I don't think it's, is it something people are like, oh, I don't think it's just a... Yeah, I think that, I see, I think that there, you know, to everything there is a season. And I think by the end of the summer, you know, we've had a hot summer.

[00:30:17] I'm excited for, to roll the fan out of the bedroom. I'm excited to put... Yeah, he's been there for years. Ever since we started the podcast, he's like, I love this stuff! Get out! I'm excited to put the, to put a, to put a quilt on my bed. I'm, I'm excited for the crispness in the air. I'm excited for black tights and boots and stars to be back. And... I'll put them on when I'm ready.

[00:30:44] And I'm, and I'm excited for the back to school vibe. Yeah. I do like those, those little, once you just get that little colder evening, you know, just a little, a little snap in the air, you know? And I like that. It's pleasantly cold. When it's not like you're going out and kind of your fingers are falling off, you know, and all that. And it's, no, it is very wet. We, we can't deny the fact that it does get very wet. Yeah. Yeah. But it's just like a bit of Christmas in the air. It's unreal.

[00:31:11] Like I've been gambling myself in the streets and fields. I mean, uh, romping through the fields and spinnies. Uh. On my youth. Uh, enjoying all of that. And it is crisp weather and it's that kind of. But it's Christmas, but it's not Christmas. You know, it's, it's just secular Christmas, you know?

[00:31:34] It's, oh, but I, I'm so often devastated by the reality, which is increasingly that the autumn is very warm. Yeah. Yeah. Well, hey, it's a hot autumn. And I mean, obviously. Michael just loves that. An Indian summer. Michael's just got three diesel generators out of the way. Yeah. Come on, warm up. The problem with the hot autumn is at least in summer, if it's hot in the summer, it's warm in the morning. So in the morning you head out in your, in your t-shirt and shorts. Whereas in autumn it's cold. So you have to head out in your coat and hat and gloves.

[00:32:03] But then suddenly an hour later. Yeah. You're, you're like a, a melting witch, you know? Is there anything worse than being too warm? Oh. Anything. Any single human experience. Nothing. Grief, pain. And even, even the slight bit too warm, you're just kind of going. I genuinely would rather be dead. Yeah. It's no way to live. It is no way to live. You're right. I mean, you'd rather be too cold than too warm. Yeah.

[00:32:32] And you know there are the people who say, well, actually to be too, anything is actually unpleasant. That's what two means. It's like, no, but listen, cold is better than warm. Yeah. I would agree. Would you rather, um, would you rather go to bed warm and snugly, but filthy? Or. Is there always a trade off? Or. Or, or squeaky clean and freezing. Do I have the option to warm up the bed from my cold state or do I somehow remain cold correctly? No, no, no.

[00:33:00] You can warm up, but you're, you're, you're, you know, there's, there's, there's maybe 35 minutes of. We'll define for. There's 35 minutes? 35 minutes? What kind of circulation are you going on? Get the fan back in. Give me filthy bed all the time. It's needed. No, there's something lovely about being freezing and getting into a bed. And even if it does take you a couple of minutes. It's 35 minutes. Something lovely about being filthy getting into a bed. Yeah. Are you filthy in bed, Will? Oh, real filthy.

[00:33:31] I didn't want to say it, but it was there. But I do find it increasingly frustrating that you get your transitional clothes out of the, out of the wardrobe. You're ready for, you know, your trench coat. Yes. Well, John's already wearing his stomping around the countryside. We recently met Anya in person for the first time in a while. She was wearing her, I guess your, as you say, your transitional outfit. Is that how we describe it? Describe it. Yeah.

[00:33:57] And she was wearing, what can only be described, I think in your mind it was sort of like a... What can only be described as in your mind, I think. Quite a stylish sort of trench coat piece, but it was more like one of those big duster coats that ranchers wore in the Wild West. Like you looked like, as I said, when I saw you, you looked like Wyatt Earp. You told me I looked like Wyatt Earp meets Columbus. I did. I did.

[00:34:25] I was about to ask, on a scale of one to Inspector Gadget. Well, it's funny because, because then we obviously, obviously John, if you had met Anya and she'd been wearing this coat, what is then the natural thing for everyone to do? Er, she put a little, um, card marked press in the plate of her hat and send her off the page of a story. We should have done that. Oh, did you get into it? You all got into it.

[00:34:50] We, well, not all at once actually, which does seem now like an opportunity missed. You could have had two of Michael pretending to be a grown-up. Could you not have put Michael on your shoulders? To see an 18's movie. Yeah. No, well we did all get into it, but, but again, Michael just looked like, again, the Paddington Bear flasher. And I ended up just looking like quite a feminist Doctor Who. Yeah. Yeah. It was a good look on you. It looked great. It was a good look. It worked. It worked. Yes. I'm ordering my own.

[00:35:20] Absolutely. But the point is you roll out something like that. You're excited at the prospect of stylishly swishing down the streets. And then you're too warm. Then you're red faced and puffing. Exactly. The Anya story. Will, what's your autumn outfit of choice? I didn't realize people sort of separated their clothing into seasons, actually. I'm sort of going through a bit of a clothing renaissance at the moment on you.

[00:35:49] So I don't really know. I used to have a couple of jackets, like a green sort of jacket that I'd wear. I don't know how fruitful this is for the podcast because it's me trying to describe half remembered clothes. That sounds like the first line of a poem about autumn. Trying to remember half remembered clothes. Or half remembered clothes sounds like a top 10 best selling novel. Doesn't it? Trying to describe half remembered clothes is iambic pentameter, I think. Is it not?

[00:36:16] Although it's a clunky one because it doesn't fit the rhythm. Okay, so clothes, yeah. So anyone who's got that on their bingo sheet, iambic pentameter, getting it in. I have previously texted Hugh when he has used lines of perfect iambic pentameter in the show. So I'm glad to hear it. John, can you spot iambic pentameter as you hear it? Sometimes. Yeah. Hugh, do you remember what the line was?

[00:36:44] It's you saying you'd never done something. Yeah. I've never had the true friend in my life, I think was what he said. So here, as we've all said, autumn's pretty terrible. Another thing about it is, what's the deal with the word? Are we ending in an M or are we ending in an N? What's the deal with that? What's the deal with that? M-M. How do you pronounce it, Michael? Slam. Autumn-n. And sometimes, sometimes if I'm writing it, I'm like, is there a B on the end of this? Is there a silent B here?

[00:37:14] You think it's autumn. Yeah, autumn. You're throwing all the consonants. I do. It's confusing. It's confusing. That's autumn. It could be a much shorter word. It could be O-T-U-M. Done. Move on. You know? Did you know that it was once in Northern England known as back end? What? What? Seriously? Everything in Northern England was known as back end. Sorry, Will. I live in back end. Great back end.

[00:37:41] Speaking of the seasons, you guys know the pizza quattro staggioni. Hmm. Yeah. It's disgusting. Can anyone describe it? What's it all about? Blue cheese. Mushrooms. No, but what's the concept? What are we- Is there one thing from each season? Is that the idea? Yes. No, each segment was designed by one of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. That's exactly it, Will. Yes. And do you have it with a small glass of... Shiiiiri! Shiiiiri!

[00:38:12] Whoa! Whoa! Huge Frankie Valli humour there. Hugh, do you know who Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons have? Yeah, but I only know the one song. Oh! But that would have killed me. Michael, I have a suspicion you were leading us into a bit you'd pre-written. No, no, no. What I was going to ask you was, I'll give you... Can you guess which season, which topping represents? Because the way the quattro- What can you give us?

[00:38:42] You said you were going to give us something. I'm going to give you a topping. So... Oh, God! That is the best out of context quote we've got. Fantastic. I thought you'd never ask why. Okay. Okay. An affiliated listener can Google top and bottom. Okay. Okay. Okay. So the way...

[00:39:09] The way this pizza works is, it's divided into four sections. Each represents a season of the year. So... What season is represented with prosciutto or olives? Summer! Winter! Winter. That's a negative noise. Winter. It is. You've got to give us the other ones. You could say prosciutto and olives and the next one could be like dark orange leaves. Like you've got to give us all of them. Okay. Why would olives be winter? Is that not a real summery thing?

[00:39:39] I guess maybe they are a wintery thing. Because there's olive flowers in the summer, isn't there? Well, prosciutto and olives are both sort of stuff that you can store for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you've harvested the olives in the autumn and then you're eating them. And you've taken the prosciutto from the prosciutto plant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So the other ones then are tomatoes or basil, mushrooms and artichokes. So which is which? Artichokes are spring. Yes, they are. Tomato and basil are summer. Yes, they are.

[00:40:09] Mushrooms have got to be autumnal because they're kind of the taste of the forest floor. Yeah, mushy mushrooms. And also, I think mushrooms come up in the autumn, don't they? They sort of, yeah, yeah, yeah, they emerge. Yeah, there you go. You have managed to find John's the perfect Venn diagram of vegetables and autumn. We should inform the listeners that I was late to this recording because I couldn't find my headphones. And they were, in fact, underneath a pile of autumn vegetables on my kitchen table. That's who you're dealing with.

[00:40:39] That's lovely. How ironic. John, how do you feel about the Americanization of fall? Yeah. Pumpkin patches and pumpkin spice lattes. Pumpkin spice lattes are vile. They're absolutely disgusting. I tried one once and I wanted to like them because I like the vibe. They're awful. Yeah, I mean, there is a kind of, and we talk about this a lot, I suppose, on Legitimate Likes. You know, there are people making note on their whole personality and that's not great. Pumpkin patches did it once, found it oddly charming. So I'm in favor.

[00:41:08] There are certain things the Americans get right. So I always think this time of year, like the thing that I want to be eating and drinking, I want to be sitting in a New England coffee shop, maybe doing a little bit of leaf peeping. I want to be doing something that like counts as work, but not really like working on my novel. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I want them drinking a big, like a giant steaming mug of black coffee. Right? Yeah. The big kind of filter coffee you get in the States. And I want an apple fritter donut. And there's a woman topping up the coffee. That's, oh, exactly. Yeah. Calling you hun. Yeah.

[00:41:38] But it's an apple cider donut. They're obsessed with apples. They do all this stuff. I think they, they're quite good, the Yanks. They kind of fetishize all this normal stuff. She's hassled, but she's, she's got time for you. Yeah. I know exactly the dynamic. She does. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the characters in the hypothetical world that are women for Michael have to be, you know, downtrodden somewhere. She's hassled though. Put upon. Yeah. You're having a good time. John, in the fantasy, I presume you're staying in a well appointed B&B, but it's a bed, it's

[00:42:07] an American bed and breakfast and it's run by Hillary and Alan, real hosts of a bread and breakfast I won't say it in America. Yeah. And he makes you a special breakfast. Country style breakfast. But Alan is the woman and Hillary's the man. Yes. Oh, yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. It's like, it's like a non haunted version of Hill house from the haunting of Hill house. Yeah. Yes.

[00:42:36] And there's some very charming mystery besetting the town. Oh yeah. Hey there, honey. Can I get to another apple cider donut? The last one, because they're all going away. The apples. We haven't had a bad harvest for this in 300 years. I hope some lovely young man could solve the mystery. Can I recommend an autumn watch?

[00:42:59] If the film name I have forgotten, also how to speak, practical magic, Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock. I watched it recently for the first time. I've made it my entire personality ever since. John, even if you don't like scary movies, it's very much at the extremely light end of scary movies. Anyone else seen it? No. No. I've got a list of some autumnal films that you can watch. Yeah. Okay. Let's hear it. The Pumpkin Speech. Oh God.

[00:43:29] It's a Wonderful Life. It's a Wonderful Life. Olympus Has Fall. Then there's the classic Downfall. One flew over the cuckoo's nest and saw the cuckoo preparing to migrate for the winter. Citizen Rain. October Lips Now. And a Man for One Season. Sorry, October Lips Now. Yeah. Because like, ooh, chapped.

[00:43:58] Hugh, you get a chapped lip, don't you? I get a terrible chapped lip. Yeah. And do you know what I had the other day when we were all, we were all actually together recently, which was very nice. Um, but we had dinner together and we had, uh, we had burgers and I can't resist when a menu says, please add a second burger. Just suck her for the extra patty. Yeah. But you know what? I came home and told my husband that. I was like, every time. Every time. Every time. And he's too full. Maybe if there'd been an extra patty to help the lady in the shop, she wouldn't have been so hassled. Patty couldn't come in today.

[00:44:28] It's been a tough, it's been a tough summer, but I'm hoping things will pick up this season. It required a very wide open mouth, which I have, but then the, you know, the sides of your mouth then just the stretch there. If they're already a little chapped and then you're eating salty chips. Holy mackerel. I tell you what, the chances of, you know, really getting salt in the wound of those, hopefully not mouth herpes, you know? Can I tell the people what you described your little plastic bag of toiletries as going

[00:44:58] through airport security? It was a robot yogurt and a small Vaseline. And you said, this is what I call the gentleman's wash bag. All you need. Between the chat lips chat and the Frankie Valli shout out. I feel like this is going to play really well in rest homes. Hugh, when you mentioned the size of your mouth, I had never noticed that before. And I mean this in the best possible way, but I do think that if one of us had to be turned

[00:45:26] into a Muppet from the Muppets, I just think Hugh would be... Oh my God! Yeah. I could just imagine just moving like the chin staying still and the rest of the head... The entire rest of the head opens up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got an enormous mouth. And someone actually asked me recently, a child in my class asked me recently, I don't know, they must have seen how enormous my mouth was. And they said, can you put your fist in your mouth? And I said, no, but that's only because my hands are so big as well. So I just, I'm just built out of proportion, you know? You gave us some autumnal TV and movie pics.

[00:45:56] And when I asked John about this earlier, he said he had some books. Would you like to share with the class, John? Any autumnal reads that you've ever had? Yeah, thanks, Anya. I was worried that I was going to get my head flushed down the toilet for this because you know, these are books. Anya has called me Poindexter once already today. John, you're really cutely blushing and sort of nervously shifting in the chair. What is, what, where does Poindexter come from? I Googled it after that, but I don't know. I don't know. John, you must know. My thinking is the Poindexter.

[00:46:25] I think it's one of these, it's like Milk Toast, isn't it? It was a character. Yeah, I think it was a character, yeah. Like in a cartoon or a, in the funny pages. Hey, you gotta, you gotta check out the funny pages. They got that guy Poindexter, he's got asthma, but we don't have inhalers yet. He died. So. Oh, you're dead right. He was the name of a character in an animated television series, Felix the Cat in the 50s, noted for his intelligence and his use of scientific jargon. There are people called Poindexter, that's still a surname.

[00:46:54] What, like Steven Poindexter? I think so. I remember seeing some film or something and there was a guy called Poindexter in it. Like it was just. Give us another example of someone whose surname is Poindexter there, aren't you? Michael Poindexter. There we go, yeah, okay, great. John Marlon Poindexter is a retired United States Naval officer and Department of Defense of the show. Why can't you say United? I was gonna say. United. I don't think this is a good line of questioning for Orn yet. Talking about people pronouncing things in Korean.

[00:47:24] I was going to say U.S. but then I got stuck on it. I went all the way through and it sounded like I was announcing a beginning of a football game or something. But he was National Security Advisor during the Reagan administration. That's mad. He's got a child called Alan G. Poindexter who was an astronaut. What? Yeah. That'll show those bullies. I mean he was a real Poindexter. No one's putting his head in the toilet. But there's no flushing toilets on a spaceship. Guys.

[00:47:52] Retired astronaut Alan Poindexter, 50, dies in jet ski accident. Wow. Wow. Wow. Oh poor Alan. Oh he was basically killed by his oldest son. His older son's jet ski came barreling into him. Was there Poindexter on Poindexter action? That is wild. That's a horror film. 27 days and 21 hours in space over his two missions. What would be a worse surname? Hitler or Poindexter?

[00:48:22] Hitler. I mean. Onya. Would it worse to be associated with a nerd or a genocidal mania? I didn't say I had a strong mania. You'd almost kind of try and style it out by double barreling it. Like John Hitler Poindexter. Hitler Poindexter. And the Hitler Poindexter's coming over for dinner. We've got the Mugabe nerds later. John sorry your autumn. Yeah well this is so.

[00:48:51] Sorry before you do this I think it's absolutely unacceptable. That you think this group of people could bring John in and be like. Here's a bit of a nerd coming into the cool kids table. Okay. Good luck Poindexter. Who do you think is the coolest of us? Ahem. Hugh or no me, Ornya, Hugh, John. Yes! I'll take it. No John's not. Hmm. You haven't even said me at all. Then Ornya. Then Hugh then Michael. Oh! That stings! At least he got to you in that one Michael. It stings so bad.

[00:49:21] Oh! You don't care though. That's true. You have a sort of a scary sort of ability to just let stuff wash over you. I march to my own beat. You're CFFA. What's that mean? Cool from far away. Yeah, yeah. That's true. So much. Michael was very excited because he thought that sounded like... What? What? Crabby fucking... Fucking asshole. I love that it requires the double F. Two Fs.

[00:49:51] Crabby fucking fucking asshole. That's... All it needs is a couple more syllables to be hyacinic pentameter as well. So just add another fuck in there. That's what Shakespeare used to do. I love this. He was a very bawdy writer, wasn't he? Bawdy is early raunch, isn't it? What light through yonder fucking window press.

[00:50:20] It's the light and Juliet is the fucking sun. It's the fucking east and Juliet is the sun. Arise fair fucking sun and kill the moon. John, books? Oh yeah. A rose by any fucking name. It sounds sweet. Actually, another good iambic pentameter line would be, I'm giving you a topping. Fucking fuck. Yeah. Oh, my thanks.

[00:50:45] I think we're banging the explicit button on this podcast. I always thought of myself as a family style guest. Very implicit. Guest. I love the phrase family style. It's just good times. And the brisket. Do you like that fat? With the dipping sauce? We've talked about this before, Anya, but the fact that when I was a child you could sell me literally anything by describing it as a kit.

[00:51:13] Whether that was some piece of shit that went with the magazine or all of the things you need to make fajitas except the main ingredients of fajitas. And I'm like, I'm not leaving this super quim until my mother buys that. We're going to talk about books. Books. Yeah. You absolute nerd. It's not like me because I'm very afraid of everything and I don't watch horror movies. I only read the Wikipedia synopses of horror movies with the lights on.

[00:51:43] Yeah. I found your horror movie episode frightening and disconcerting. There was one, wasn't there? I blocked it out. Thanks, John. We've never made a horror comedy. There has to be a horror podcast here in 50 years. Not since that fire at the microphone factory. But yeah, so in the- That's since those two astronauts cross-crashed their jet skis into each other.

[00:52:10] If only someone could solve the murder in this sleepy jet ski in New England town. So I- Please, finish your apple-sided doughnuts, sir, and then find out why all the apples are gone. I think they were stole by jet ski feet. Quick, jump on my seahog and- I will head down to the sound. Is the sound- Sorry!

[00:52:38] They're always talking about it in the States. They're always talking about it so much you have to immediately drop out of the character to ask. Well, I was trying to think what they call a bay or a- The bay. I was thinking it was the bay of base. But I don't think that's where the jet ski was. That's what- I'll give you a bit of silence so you can cut that and then I'll talk about books again in a second. Sorry, that's- Were they both astronauts in the graph? No, they weren't. But the younger one-

[00:53:07] I don't think the younger one died. He was on a jet ski- Sorry, let's get the full story. Yeah, come on. He was jet-scoeing- He was jet-scoeing with his two sons. I'm jet-scoeing all over the place. Did I say that? You kids heard of jet-skiing, but have you ever heard of jet-scoeing? Jet-scoeing sounds like another astronaut. That's what the high school is named after in John's town. Jet-scoeing high.

[00:53:36] It's where John had his first kiss after homecoming. He was jet-skiing with his two sons near Little Sabine Bay, not sound, all from Pensacola Beach, Florida, when the accident occurred. Point-dexter and his 21-year-old son were on one jet-ski, and his oldest son was on another jet-ski. Point-dexter, what did I do? It's because you just said- He's a poor point-dexter!

[00:54:02] I'd forgotten his name was Point-dexter, and then it sounded like you were just describing him like, dweeby boy. This nerd who got killed. It's because it's clear it's so tragic. Point-dexter was sitting still in the water when his older son's jet-ski came barreling into him. That is a report from the news. Yeah, he was rushed to Baptist Hospital.

[00:54:31] I'm afraid we can't save this Point-dexter. You'll have to alert him. I do like that there's also a typo here, which makes it sound more sort of, I feel, Northern England. It's obviously trying to say two years later in April 2010, but what it actually says is, Two year later in April 2010, Point-dexter commanded the space shuttle Discovery. He opened a brand new jet-ski shop down in Backend. Is this the detective that's come to solve it? Yeah, I think. It's seconded.

[00:55:02] I've moved from the big city of Pudsey, and now I'm here in Florida to try and solve cases. I tell you what, his son survived. Both sons. The Point-dexter name lives on. Any autumnal TV or movies that you like to watch this time of year, guys? Mike, I know you don't watch TV or whatever, but do you have any TV shows? You watch as The Economist. Just looks at it. Just read the obituaries, throw them away.

[00:55:32] That's all I do. I'd say you reread them, do you? Would you keep them and reread them? No, no. A laugh at the people. Do you have Alan Point-dexter's obituary? Laugh at the people. No, no, no. You definitely feel superiority over the dead. Something I've never thought about you before, and yet I'm so certain it's true. Who doesn't though, you know? You definitely think they're losers. You wander through cemeteries and be like, these idiots!

[00:56:00] I think Michael's role would be in this sort of fictional New England town. No, I can see him being a Puritan governor. Like back in the 1660s. Oh yeah. I saw Goody on you, talking with the devil kind of thing. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. You'd be judging which is left, right and centre, wouldn't you? Yeah. Oh, I thought he'd be like the owner of most of the town. Sort of like this is a wonderful life.

[00:56:28] A school child science project in their father's garage. Michael, who do you think? I thought I'd be, you know, the guy who was like, basically like the high school jock, like the quarterback of the high school team, but like 15 years ago, and I still think that I'm great. Like I reached an apex at like 18, and I still think I'm the business. Yeah, that's who I think I'd be. And what are you doing now? Exactly the same thing.

[00:56:57] I'm bringing my best girl up to the lookout point in the back of my Camaro. Is she still 16? No. Is that why she has to go in the back? No, Michael has married his childhood sweetheart, but you're cheating on her with John's waitress. Oh, right. Okay. Who I think if you recall was elderly. Just, just, that's fine. I'm just checking. Michael didn't realize that was what he liked when he was 21, you know?

[00:57:26] And now he sees that's a good hookup for apple cider donuts. And he's gonna, there's no depths he won't plumb. Do we have a, do we have a name for this town? For this town? Yeah, yeah. What is it? This is the... Squashport. Squashport, Massachusetts. Squashport. Yeah. Squashpoint. Oh. Taking our bikes out to Gord Point. We're gonna smoke a doobie.

[00:57:56] Wait, oh my God. There's, there's the old quarterback who's been here for 15 years. Run! It's Will the bully. You know the ones who say things like, a tubular dude. I'm basing this entirely on the villains in Hulk's Bones. It's not that much, it's the bullies. That is a great film. If you've been down to the jet ski area, on the bay. Bunch of poindexters down there, man. Hang time. Couple of... My name's Cody McFlope. I don't get on with my parents.

[00:58:25] I take it out on the people around me. Heyo, Cody. And I want to get to the bottom of this case. Oh no, it's a new police officer from back end. Run dudes! I mean, you're only, you're only like an octave away from South Park, Will. Will, your accents are very good.

[00:58:53] Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. That's my seductive one. I think we should workshop this movie. Yeah. After this. It reminds me of every film in the 90s. You know when you'd be watching a video and then there'd be the ads, and there were movies you'd never seen. And it was always in that film with Ellen DeGeneres about a love note, a love letter. I don't remember that.

[00:59:23] I think it was called The Love Letter. Anyway. More as we get it. Final judgments. Autumn. Autumn. Yay or nay? Nay. Fourth best season. So Michael doesn't have a vote, obviously. But do we want to manufacture some controversy by allowing him? No. Absolutely not. I came into this being like, Autumn's obviously a like. And then very early on, the chat about the clocks going forward and back changed my mind. No. John changed my mind. And then Michael started talking.

[00:59:52] And I was like, I hate everything that's coming out of your mouth. So I think you're, the way you made it so derivative. I don't know if that's the word derivative. Diminutive. Stupid. The word I'm looking for is stupid. I really like it. I like that it's seasonal. And I think it's a really nice bridge between the two of summer and winter. And I like all the leaves. I like the weather. I think it's really, really nice. Okay.

[01:00:22] A legitimate like from Will. Legitimate like from Will. John, what about you? It's a legitimate like from me. What could be better than waking up on a crisp autumn morning with golden burnished leaves hanging from the trees? Sipping your hot drink as you think about the walk you're going to take later that day. Maybe kicking back in a pub or a New England hostelry afterwards with some hearty but not overfilling food. You know, a nice little squash bake. Talking about that kind of thing. A couple of gourds.

[01:00:51] Maybe a nice warming drink. And then kicking back in your feather bed ready for another day of fighting crime in a Yorkshire accent. I genuinely cannot imagine a better season. It's wet and I don't care. I love it. Does your huge baby, do you notice a difference in his enjoyment of walks? Does he enjoy autumn walks more than summer or spring? What's been your analysis?

[01:01:16] I got really emotional recently because I realized that he had never experienced autumn because he was born in winter. This is his first autumn. So I've been really excited to show it to him, which is part of why I'm such a Nazi about walks. It's because I'm trying to turn him into the crown prince of autumn. But I genuinely, I was playing with him on the floor of the living room where, unlike Michael's family, we have a TV that works.

[01:01:44] And the TV was on and an ad came on for the Great British Bake Off. And I said to my son, I said, oh, are you excited to watch the Bake Off? And I got this catch in my throat because I realized he had never seen the Bake Off. He didn't even know what it was. He was born after the conclusion of the last season. Much like me, yeah. I was just, I was so excited that I would get to kind of watch through it with. He doesn't know what's going on, but he's going to rubbed a lot. Yeah, it's a legitimate lag for me as well. I think it's great.

[01:02:14] It's lovely and crisp, even if we do end up sweating up a storm in our coats, but then you go to bed filthy and it all works out. I don't understand what this episode was about. We wrote a little movie. We found some dead astronauts. We, there were South Africans. There was, there was everything. And yeah, it's a legitimate lag for me. It was me saying things like, parting is such a sweet pumpkin time. Yeah, yeah. Can we come back and do winter? A lot of very profane, iambic pentamines. Yes! Can we do winter? Yes.

[01:02:40] I think we should release them in like, we'll do autumn, winter, spring, artichokes. I have a lot of thoughts on summer, so I'm excited to come back here and air them. Anya, how would you have voted? Oh yes! Yeah. Love autumn. I think we're having a really good one. We've had a lot of really good crisp days. Mm. The gourds are plentiful. The lambs. Oh, the lambs are grown up. The lambs are... They're not lambs anymore. We've eaten all the lambs, Anya. Yeah.

[01:03:09] You haven't, but... Yeah. John and I have. Yeah. We've had some good days. We've had some lovely crisp days. And I hope we get a good run of it now before we... Yeah. So just a leader of the labour bar. Yeah, exactly. It was big Ed Miliband, I feel. That's what they say about me. Your more handsome sibling sat next to you doing a better job.

[01:03:38] Yeah, exactly. Is he the one with the... Who's the sibling? David. David Miliband. The one they should have made leader, but the lads didn't want him. Hugh, it always really surprises me when you have all this secret knowledge. How do you... I mean... You know all this. He doesn't drink. Just... His brain is... It's not much knowledge. Infinitely high. But what it is stays in there, you know, so... But periodically, he'll be like, I'm really concerned about the North Carolina caucus. Michael, not that...

[01:04:08] I think we should ask just that politeness. What are your stupid opinions? What would you have said? Yeah, like... Nothing. Nothing really against autumn. It's just got absolutely nothing going for it. That the other seasons don't, you know? Anything good you could say about autumn, you could say about any other day of the year. Nope. Not true. Pumpkins. Autumn's not a day. The leaves are falling off the trees. You don't like being cozy and comfortable though. You like doing mad stuff and being cold and...

[01:04:34] Yeah, you probably like being whipped in an ice cold warehouse or something like that. No, I do not. No, I do not. The leaves of the podcast tree are starting to fall away. Nicely done. And it's time for us to go back to our cozy little homes. And it's time for you, listener, to put a scarf on and carry on your day without us in your ears. John, thank you so much for joining us again. Thank you all. It's been such a pleasure. Oh, such a pleasure. How are you going to spend your autumn in a nice way? I hope so. The most delightful. Aw. It's the most wonderful time of the year.

[01:05:04] Hugh, thanks for joining us. Thanks, Will. Michael, Ananya, you've also been here. My name's been Will. This is Legitimate Likes. Please subscribe, like, give it five stars, share it with a friend, and give us a tweet and an Instagram message. Send us some pictures of some New England forests. And remember, don't be a point, Dexter. Hang ten, dude! Bye! Bye! Bye!

[01:05:40] This podcast is part of Podomity, the UK's Podcast Comedy Network. Why not laugh at what else we've got? Visit Podomity.com.