Google Frugal Fuel Goal

[00:00:00] Hello, I'm Steve N Allen and welcome to Steve N Allen Almost Daily. Welcome to the podcast that gets you up to date with the latest news, officially by the way. This is the day we find out that the police raid on Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, Prince Harry, but you can't say that these days, on his home, on his birthday, was judged illegal. And this is why they didn't think it through, it was on his birthday. If they'd have burst in and said, surprise, they'd have got away with it. They just don't think. Let's do the front pages.

[00:00:28] Let's walk through the front pages together and see what we can find. The Daily Telegraph starts with, Bank Chief, don't risk repeat of trust chaos. I mean, that seems like a fairly old... Yeah, remember that thing that caused, like, a big problem? Don't do that again. He could also include, you know, or remember crashing out of the ERM? Should we not? Remember the bubonic plague? I see, that one is coming back. All right, fair enough, bad point, well made.

[00:00:54] Baden-Ock on list at home of Whiddicom murder suspect. This is terrifying, isn't it? The fact that politics now... Someone worked out a while ago that if you want to win votes, you don't talk about policy, you don't engage with the cognitive part of the mind, the academic part of the mind. You go right for the amygdala or wherever your emotions are all kept. Do you feel aggrieved and angry? Good, because here's the thing you can vote for, because, oh, I'm angry too, and you're angry. We're angry about the same thing. Oh, I'm just so angry. Politics makes me so angry.

[00:01:25] And then look what we end up with. Andrew's fight back starts now, friends say. This is the other update on Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor. He's, because that police investigation, if they couldn't do the raid, then you can't admit any of the evidence, so maybe the whole thing goes away. And his fight back starts now, says friends. The shocking thing about that is, still got friends. Woo! Wow. You're a friend of a friend of a pedophile.

[00:01:53] I mean, look, I know, thanks to the six degrees of separation theory, we're all only six people away from Epstein, but I don't think I'm on the list. Hell of a way to find out, wouldn't it? Front page of the Times goes with ADHD label risk harm for life for youngsters. This following on from two days ago, one day ago, whichever one of yours. The front page of the Eye was saying, experts are saying, don't even worry about diagnosis. You should be treating people for ADHD without diagnosing them. Yeah.

[00:02:23] How prejudiced is it to only treat people who actually have the disease? What kind of discrimination is that? But now we're hearing, and let's zoom in for a bit more on this, early diagnosis could close doors in adulthood. The surging cases of autism and ADHD is reaching a tipping point of over-diagnosis that risks causing lifelong harm to children, a government review has concluded. That is the risk, isn't it? You're on a pathway.

[00:02:49] You then, and this gets a bit NLP, a little bit neuro-linguistic programming, but whatever something you do is considered to be a behaviour, you consider it to be changeable in yourself. If you think it's just something you do, you could stop doing it. If you think it's something you are, well, then it moves up the chunk to identity stage, and you can't change your identity. It's very difficult to change parts of your identity in comparison to changing your behaviour. So as soon as you make something like this part of what you think you are, you're done for.

[00:03:19] Honestly, I've not dusted off the old NLP in ages. Next thing I'll be using, I'll be negging you. You find me more attractive now? Of course you don't, because you're ugly. Did that work? The front page also has that picture of Andrew. That is such a good picture, though, isn't it? Right up the old nose. Andrew Wynn's legal case is on the front page of The Independent. Stark warning over rising demand for NHS autism and ADHD care. That's interesting. That's the front page of The Guardian.

[00:03:47] Looking at the NHS requirements, there's another report saying the private diagnoses of ADHD rarely, rarely don't give you the result you want. So it is a little bit of a payola thing, isn't it? You go private and they will definitely say you've got ADHD. And we talked about this on Tully the other day. Look, I'm sure it genuinely is a genuine condition for people who genuinely have it.

[00:04:14] And even if it is a harder to understand spectrum, look, everything other than quantum mechanics is on a spectrum. And there will be a point, an arbitrary point. And they call it like the beard paradox or something, don't they? Mathematically, there's this thing where you know when someone's got a beard, you know when they don't have a beard. But if I ask you how many hairs make a beard, there's no number. There's no number where if I pluck one hair off, you go, well, it's not a beard now. So there's no defining limit.

[00:04:40] Even though you have this continuous spectrum, there's no point on that spectrum where you go from category A to category B. And that's a problem with spectra, right? However, there definitely is an area of a spectrum where you wouldn't really – yeah, you can have three hairs on your beard, on your face. And that's on the spectrum of face hair, but you don't have a beard yet. And that's what we're kind of looking at because you could presume everyone's on the spectrum of ADHD. The way that I've described this probably would have got me a diagnosis by now.

[00:05:09] The fact that I've – the mess I've made of putting words together into this sentence, I fairly should – if I go private, I'd definitely just have been diagnosed. The Daily Mail goes with, rush to diagnose autism, could damage children, that story. I was heartbroken when my husband died at 47. Then I discovered his multiple affairs. It's the secrets and lives tease. And that was, you weren't heartbroken? That's a bit harsh, isn't it?

[00:05:38] And failed by a system that could protect you is the front page of the Daily Express. Survivors of domestic abuse living in terror of their attackers getting out of jail early are being failed by a system. Don't worry, they're being tagged by – oh, turns out the tags don't work either. Of course they don't. The – I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't done in partnership with TalkTalk. You only drink twice is the front page of The Star where they go on about the boozer. More on that story. Basically, Daniel Craig's bought a pub.

[00:06:05] And not 100% faithful is the front page of the Metro. Not about that woman's dead husband. But seaman plotted steady. Seaman plotted to share stolen material with Russia while on warship. A sailor has appeared in court accused of being a traitor. But they've put that right next to a picture of Richard E. Grant. I'm confused. No, you see, this is the thing. Some traitors are bad. Some traitors are good. We're messing with the language and I don't like it.

[00:06:34] Them's your front pages. Let's get inside the news. Would you like some entertainment news that's totally pointless and we don't really need to know it? Daniel Craig, former Bond person, could face another run-in with Spectre. Why is that, you're asking? Because – it's not my words. This is in the newspaper. He's trying to buy a boozer. No, he's bought it. He's bought a pub that's haunted. Woo! Woo!

[00:07:00] So, man who used to do films who doesn't do those films anymore buys a pub, which is, I guess, quite common. And it's haunted. It's not haunted. So, really, there's nothing in this story. But there we go. The former 007 star was told about the spook named Gilbert, who used to be a hangman before he became a ghost. Like a busman's holiday, really, I suppose, isn't it? Became the owner of the Horseshoe Pub in Clerkenwell. And, to be fair – get ready for the joke – he should have been expecting this, because above the door it does say,

[00:07:30] licence to sell ales, wines and spirits. Have you been worrying about the price of petrol and diesel? Over £2 a litre for the diesel, which doesn't bother me. I drive petrol. Oh, £1.79. Oh! Oh! So, that hurts as well. But don't worry. They've solved it. What's that? They've ended that war that cost – no, no, no. Well, they've cut duty. Not really.

[00:07:58] Drivers are now able to see fuel prices on Google Maps in a move hailed by the government as a game-changer amid rising petrol – I mean, it's not like you're going to suddenly pop open Google Maps and see, there's a £1.11. No, there's not. There'll be a £1.69 or £1.79 or something like that. Do you know what I mean? If you're lucky, you'll get threepence on the litre. And the big question is – and Google could work this out, but they don't –

[00:08:27] how many more litres of fuel are you likely to burn driving further to buy your petrol to drive further back to be a safe threepence happening on that one? It strikes me that this is not necessarily solving the problem, is what I'm saying. Science news, anyone? All right, then. An extraordinary signal from outer space may help explain how the universe was formed. I've often wondered about that. Have you thought about that? How was the universe formed? I don't know.

[00:08:50] But it turns out they might be able to answer it because they've detected a radio burst that originated when the universe was about 3 billion years old. It's quite old. No offence. It might be young for the universe, but you put that on your dating app and no one's swiping. It travelled for about 10 billion years across space reaching Earth. And what's upsetting about this story is that they're listening to that radio burst from 10 billion years ago.

[00:09:19] And I'm struggling to get listeners. No, come on. The scientists. Why don't you listen to me as well? I might not tell you how the universe was made, but play some songs and stuff. Why are bursts made by the big bank doing better than I am? Glasgow University has got itself 3.7 million pounds in government funding to study the risk of mosquito-borne diseases. And my first thought was, you clever girl.

[00:09:46] Because what that means is someone's going to go, oh, we need to study mosquitos. Oh, we better go to one of those hot countries where they've got the mosquitoes and the diseases. Oh, I guess you'll have to pay for it from the research grant. I thought they were on a jolly. But then it also includes midges. Can you say that? Can you say that? You can. And have you done that thing when you go to Scotland? For some reason, they've got those midges. Midgees. I'm not sure. They've got midger. They literally have midger.

[00:10:12] I would take 3.7 million pounds to investigate midger-borne diseases. And I think he'd be up for it. He'd be up for answering a few questions about himself. I mean, if I was is the main question he wants to answer. And if you was the main vector of a midger-borne disease, would you be okay with me doing research is the main question. But he's not answered it yet. Alleged shoplifter Hayden Lucas was filmed stuffing sausages worth £600 down his trousers in Newbury, Berkshire.

[00:10:42] That's in the newspaper today. That story again. No, he wasn't just pleased to see you. I'm glad we cleared that up. I like the crossover of both science and entertainment. This story right in that Venn diagram sweet spot. Madonna's voice has defied time. You know, what could that mean? The songs are still great? Of course. But that's not what they're saying. Experts say that vocal cords kind of age a bit dramatically. They stay erosively, yet they age slowly and then all of a sudden fall off a cliff.

[00:11:10] The loss of elasticity in your vocal cords makes your voice suddenly go a lot deeper. But the 68-year-old Vogue singer speaking voice should sound deeper. But Danish linguists say that she's shown remarkable ability to adjust the tone and pitch. Her pitch was at its lowest in the 1980s. If anything, somehow she's made it younger. I do quite like that. You hear it with Paul McCartney, don't you? He sounds very different when he sings now. There will possibly still be a date when her voice changes, though.

[00:11:41] Because she's 68. At some point, you'll go and see Madonna live. And she'll come out and she'll start singing. And all of a sudden, it'll be like, My old friend, Andy Dufresne, I'm a material girl. I'm living in a material world. I'm like, wow, she's Madonna. You've changed a bit, haven't you? All right, that's your podcast done. Find social media at Mr. Steve N Allen for a picture of me in a tuxedo. Ooh!

[00:12:07] You could also have a look at youtube.com forward slash at Mr. Stephen Allen. Doing a thing on Times Radio with the Cheltenham Literary Festival over the weekend. Tune in on that Saturday at half five. I will be mentioning my book, even though my book is a colouring in book. I'm literally going to be broadcasting as part of a festival. A literary festival. And I'm turning... That will be a phrase in the future. Look at this idiot. He brought a colouring in book to a literary fight. Literary.

[00:12:36] I'm going to have to work out how to say that before I do that. Trot me down on socials at Mr. Stephen Allen. Subscribe to this podcast. And thank you for doing so. And until next time... Thank you for listening to Steve N Allen (almost) Daily. This podcast is part of Podomity. The UK's podcast comedy network. Why not laugh at what else we've got? Visit Podomity.com.