Inherit My Tax Ideas

[00:00:00] Hello, I'm Steve N Allen and welcome to Steve N Allen Almost Daily. Welcome to the podcast that gets you all the news on a day when I guess the big news story is that the consulate in Israel, the British consulate, it's not closed, it's been renamed as the Mission. I think it's been named as the British Vape Shop and Betting Emporium or something like that. More on that story later. Meanwhile, should we take a look at the front pages?

[00:00:23] We can start with the Daily Mail, their front page at the top plugging what's inside. The boy racers risking lives for kicks and clicks. I suppose that's always been the way apart from kicks and clicks. It's always been kicks, clicks. It used to be chicks and now it's clicks. We've taken an H and we've added an L or something like that. I'm not sure how you spell one of them. This is a special investigation they've got on boy racers, which I'm surprised is still a thing.

[00:00:48] I kind of understand it a little when I was growing up, when people would reach a certain age where they get their, get some secondhand Fiat Ponto and do donuts in the Sainsbury car park. But now it's £1.79 a litre. How are these young people affording that? That's the shocking angle. I'm sure the Daily Mail goes into greater detail on that. Kemi's pledge, sorry, Kemi's family home pledge is the front page. And look, we can group these together if you want so we don't spend all day here.

[00:01:17] We have on the front page of the Eye, Badenock's new offer to Britain's homeowners. The Times, Tories will make you better off. The Telegraph, we're ready for the fight, but it is about the inheritance tax thing. Where else has it got on there? Kemi, nobody will ever pay death tax on family homes, says the Express. And Safest Houses, the Metro. So all of these newspapers are talking about details of Kemi Badenock's Tory party conference speech. Three main bits that they're focusing on.

[00:01:47] No stamp duty. And not that you should necessarily care, but I think stamp duty is a silly, like mathematically, it is a silly tax that it really does not help the concept of a market. Might be one of the reasons why we've got such a naffed up housing market. Mansion tax. Again, I can see problems with it. And that was really not the big hitter of the speech. The big one was no inheritance tax. And this one, I talked about this on TV last night, and I'm still getting hate on the internet for it.

[00:02:12] Because it is an emotionally hated tax by the people who will never pay it. And they hate it so much that they will call me names and use the F word on the internet to me. Who simply just said, look, if there were an ideal world where no one had to pay tax, brilliant. I'm not against that as a concept. But we don't live in that world, do we? So you kind of have to pick which tax do you think is better to scrap? Inheritance tax or income tax, for example.

[00:02:41] Would you rather reward hard work or reward having money when you die? And everyone I've engaged with on the internet just refuses to answer that question. A couple of nights ago, I was asked one of the MPs for reform that question on telly. And again, he refused because no one wants to answer it. Because clearly there is one answer. Income tax. You cut that. One of the panelists I was talking to last night said, look, it will only cost £8 billion to get rid of inheritance tax.

[00:03:09] And I said, well, if you've got £8 billion hanging around, why don't you trim that off the inheritance tax? And then you might think to yourself, all right, well, then when we make another saving of another £8 billion, should we do inheritance tax? And I said, no, every single time you've got £8 billion in the pocket, take it off income tax. It is far better to reward work and let people have money from their work that they will then spend rather than kiss. Yeah, sure. Maybe when your parents die, you go on a spree and spend all of their wealth. No one does that. Some people do that.

[00:03:36] But mostly whatever accumulated wealth your parents hand on to you, you just keep you keep trying to accumulate. By the structure of families, by the time your parents are dying, it's not like you're in your frivolous spending in your 20s. Some people are, obviously, but you know what I mean, the general trends. And what are the other things I've argued? So it's 4.7% of estates that pay it, and yet it's probably all the owners of newspapers will pay it. And I can see why we might have fallen for the PR thing.

[00:04:04] The newspapers have told us this is a death tax. This is state-sponsored robbery. This is double taxing. So again, last night, I went on the issue of it's not double taxing, is it? Because the thought process of that is you already pay tax on money when you earn it, and then you tax on it again when you die. Well, you're also taxed. Firstly, you're double taxed on absolutely everything. When you spend it, VAT, other duties like that, if you earn money and spend it, you've paid tax twice.

[00:04:33] Our stupid system means you get taxed twice. So maybe you could make an argument that being taxed twice on your death money is all right, but I'm not even going to make that argument. I'm going to make this argument. I don't think the money you earn by going to work ever gets you anywhere near the threshold at that nil rate band to pay inheritance tax. The only people really paying inheritance tax haven't PAY-ed that money. They might have bought a house a long while ago, and that house is now worth a big amount, which means all of the accumulated wealth on that property has not been taxed once.

[00:05:05] So inheritance tax – I mean, if you wanted to tweak it, the opposite of what the Tories are doing. The Tories are saying you'll never pay inheritance tax on the family home, and you can pass on a million before you start getting taxed on the other assets. I can almost understand it the way around. If you – I don't know how you'd prove it, but could show that the money in your bank account you earned through earning, we shouldn't be able to touch that again. I'll absolutely have that. But the money that just built up through the home being worth more, you didn't do that.

[00:05:33] Maybe you kept your front garden nice and trim, and it slightly improved the house prices, but not by the amount of money we're talking about. So this is wealth you now have in your family that's not even been taxed once. And here's the bit where I – I didn't say on telly last night. Here's the awkward bit. I'm looking forward to the Tories I get after this. By doing it so that you are taxing people if their house has become massively expensive, massively valued,

[00:06:02] you are introducing something into the market that slightly corrects the north-south divide. Oh, that's where it gets all good, isn't it? Because this tends to happen more in the south. And one of the big problems with this – with our economy, this country and the economy in general, is that we've never included house prices and inflation. So we've got no idea how wealthy we are really. And there is a difference. Something in Essex has gone up massively since you bought it in the 80s compared to something in Liverpool. And so how could you correct that?

[00:06:31] Well, you'd make it slightly less – you'd increase the supply down in Essex. And they're not building enough houses to do that. But if people had – this is awkward, isn't it? People had to sell their newly inherited home, which is not the home you live in. If you live in the home you've just inherited, then again, that should be an exception. But if you live in a house and then you get this other house just given to you because of bereavement and you have to sell it, you've just added more supply to the market,

[00:06:57] which will depress prices in the southeast and help the rest of the nation catch up. Oh, God. Good God. God. So, look, that's not the normal way we do front pages. A Steve nerdy, I won't engage in any of the emotion rant. I understand this is why I lose the argument. This is why I lose all arguments. I like to talk about logic and it just winds emotions up. And therefore I find out I lose the route. So don't get me wrong. I presume I have lost this route because I've just talked about, like, facts and stuff. And people will be outraged. It's wrong.

[00:07:28] Oh, it's emotionally wrong. I'm sure it is emotionally wrong. I don't do human emotions. Speaking of which, front page of the eye. Young people should get ADHD help even without diagnosis. A major report will say, yeah, why bother with diagnosing medical conditions? Let's go the whole hog. Let's just not worry about diagnosis of anything. Do you fancy being treated for Ebola? Well, we don't need to wait to prove that you've got some of that. That's just prejudice. Diagnosis.

[00:07:56] As I said on telly last night, diagnosis is the means testing of health. And I've no idea what it means, but there's a chance I'm going to get it sewn onto a pillow. Yeah, it's the end game, isn't it? At some point everyone will have ADHD. So, yeah. But no, they're ahead of the curve there. Is there anything else on the front pages we need to talk about? Front page of the Telegraph has a little box in the top saying, has there ever been a worse time to be a vegan? I mean, yeah. One of the ice ages. When nothing was growing and you could eat a wildebeest and you'd be like,

[00:08:26] no, actually I don't agree with eating wildebeest. I'm going to have some of the foliage. What do you mean no foliage is growing because of the ice age? Well, I guess I'll just die out then. Thanks. So that objectively is a worse time. You might moan about your existence as a vegan, but that is a dumb question. Again, looking at the logic, not engaging with the human emotion. Front page of the star, Katie Price. I'll make you a star. Message to teen girl. Good Lord, that actually gets pretty serious.

[00:08:55] So we don't need to get stuck into that. Reform not dodgy says, reform. They've done an internal investigation. Which again sounds ruder than it is. Internal investigation into donation row. Wait for it. No rules broken. Well, I guess that's why you should have independent investigations. But who knows? Who am I to judge? Oh, sweet mercy. See this one as well. Krista Pike awake after box botched execution. Are you up on this story? In America, there's a woman.

[00:09:25] He knows crimes. Sentenced to death. Now, I don't agree with the death penalty, but let's not get stuck down that cul-de-sac of argument. We are where we are. They've got it. And they tried it. And they failed. Two lethal injections. And did not work. So let's stop calling them lethal injections. Two injections. Two malady injections. And look, it was bad. Apparently she was brain dead for a while. She got severe damage to her arms. But she's now woken up. And she's talking.

[00:09:49] And if I were her, because now there's going to be legal battles about whether they should attempt the execution again. Given that she is in America, she'd best learn to start saying things like, I saw the Lord. Because, you know what Americans are like for their, the one country that definitely separates out church and state and is obsessed with the church. It's unbelievable.

[00:10:12] If she started saying, I saw a light and I walked towards, I saw the Lord Jesus and he said, the kingdom of heaven. That, I'm not quite sure what accent that is, but it's a preacher voice. You know how some people get accents when they've had a stroke? If she's woken up after the injection, the brain dead thing, even if it's not, it's rather her pretend that her new accent is, I saw the light.

[00:10:38] The Lord Jesus says, the kingdom of heaven is not to read for you. I'm slightly losing it on the accent. She can probably do it better than me. Red for she said, go back to your life and get some legal compensation. I've made it go Welsh and she shouldn't do that. But the point is, you could definitely con all of America by saying, it's not even like, I suppose it is technically a near death experience. It's a very near death experience. You know what I mean?

[00:11:06] She could easily say, no, I got this, got the memo from the Lord himself. And they'd believe that. It's a nation of people who, they've got a Supreme Court, but they will definitely believe anyone who is saying, I saw the Lord. Oh, there's lovely. I saw, oh, the green, green grass of home. And the good Lord said to me, no, you don't, we don't need you here.

[00:11:34] Again, now I've gone even further away from Welsh. I've gone slightly geordie. So we'll leave it there. Them's your front pages. Let's get inside the news. In crime news, it says here in the paper today, hundreds of suspected stolen phones were seized last month and more than 700 people were arrested. Good. I guess there's no chance those phones are going back anyway. But oh well. But this, one of those held was this bloke, right, who was, he was detained.

[00:12:01] He was caught because he tried to flee on an e-bike, which just means I'm even more annoyed. You know what I mean? Flee on a bike if you want, put the F in. An e-bike. Oh, you want to, I bet you've vaped, don't you? And then he jumped in a pond. Now, I've not seen the video of this, but who tries to escape in a pond? What the hell? It's like trying to escape into a cupboard. You've just made yourself easier to capture, haven't you? What was your plan? I'll go in a pond. There's no way they'll be able to see me then. How? What?

[00:12:31] You have to stay above the water because that's where the air is, mate. So it's fairly easy to wait for you, isn't it? It's not like you can swim out and start a new life. Join the frogs. So anyway, just goes to show IQs in criminals haven't improved or something like that. Medical news. I say medical, but I suppose it technically is. But in the papers today, hospitals in the NHS had to remove objects stuck up. Well, I'm trying to get it to the last word is the one that gives it away.

[00:13:01] For 1,410 times last year, hospitals in the NHS had to remove objects stuck up people's... Anyone guessing? The answer is noses. Oh, so close. We're not close, technically. But, oh, one word out. I just got to think, if you are the doctor and someone goes, oh, you've got to go in that room there. Someone's got something stuck up his nose. Oh, here we go. Nose. Oh, thank heavens. In fact, but if I ended up going to hospital with something stuck up my nose, you'd have to say it, wouldn't you?

[00:13:31] You'd still have to say, how did that get up there? And I'd say, well, I was cleaning without any clothes on. And I fell. But I sneezed at the same time in this. Eh? Missed it by that much. Oh, and look at this. This is bad news. I shouldn't even tell you about it. Ice cream worth £57,000 is on auction after the closure of South Wales firm Sub-Zero. Whoa. I say that like it's Mortal Kombat. It's probably not. So they closed down this shop.

[00:13:58] I guess they can't keep running the freezers. So there's £57,000 worth of ice cream going. It ain't going to cost you that. The highest bid at the moment when this news story was published, £620. I shouldn't even know this information because I'm like, part of me realise, well, the diet would go out the window. I could get £57,000 worth of ice cream if it probably, if it comes in at under a grand, I could put that on the credit card. Oh, it would ruin me.

[00:14:28] It would, not financially, physically. Do you know what I mean? There is no way I could have that much ice cream and not end up in the newspaper again for a very different reason. It would absolutely, the brain freeze alone might be like some sort of thermal lobotomy. I, it's, I'm turning, turn the page. I can't even see it anymore. I'll do myself a mischief. More entertainment news. Florence Pugh, it says it could stop traffic. Oof. As she launches Jaguar's new all-electric car, you hope she doesn't stop traffic with that.

[00:14:58] That's, that's the opposite of what you want. You want cars that go in the flow of traffic. And here's what I thought is good about this. She's right. It says the June star, 30 wore a black waistcoat. No one cares. She is the right person to launch a car. I'll tell you why. Not only is she known as Flo, and I'm, I'm right about the flow of traffic more than they are. Her surname is, I hope for the entire event, they referred to her as Florence Pugh. If they didn't, they've missed a trick. That would wind me up more than most of the news.

[00:15:27] There's a fish and chip shop that's hit the papers. The, it's normally the other way around, isn't it? The fish shop owner, hang on, I can't pronounce that. Someone or other Evans in Wales is selling chips for 5p a bag to mark the five years at the shop. Now, firstly, well done for getting that in the newspapers. But I don't think that's what we're worried about. The cost of the chips is not the problem, is it? Oh, let's go back to the old days when it used to be 5p a bag. Yeah, but I bet you're still charging 17 pound for a large cod. And that's the one that gets you.

[00:15:56] Ah, fish and chips, please. That'll be 332 pounds. What? Oh, don't worry. We'll give you enough chips that it'll fill your car. No, I don't want that. I want a normal portion of chips and a fish that I don't have to take out a mortgage for to eat. So until you've worked on that one, maybe just stay at the newspapers. This is either a great story or a creepy story. There's a picture in the news today of a baby who's become obsessed with a new toy. Wait, the toy that this baby's obsessed with is a hand, a replica from the Addams Family. It's a thing.

[00:16:27] Mum, Laurie Gregg, 29, was shopping for Christmas gear when the seven-month-old Margot saw the two-pound Halloween hand. Laurie thought it would frighten her. But I mean, I suppose at that age you don't really know. And there's no way she's watched the Addams Family. She'd have a clue, didn't she? It came out in the 60s. The Laurie, an early years tutor from Nottingham. Here's the problem. She's in charge of kids and she thinks a good toy to give a kid is this terrifying severed hand with sewn-on scars. However, I would want one of those now.

[00:16:57] I think the four-year-old might be getting a bit scared by it. But for the two-year-old, it would be absolutely great if she's into that. Because then I could have that. And when my missus says, the kid's a bit much today, could she just give me a hand? Just get that out of the bag. Oh! I mean, I'd find it funny. And I'd be the only one in the house who would. But that's still 25%. And that's not a bad hit rate for me. That's the podcast done. Just one story. Look, there'll be more stories if you catch us swiftly on youtube.com forward slash at MrStevenAllen. It's a live stream day today.

[00:17:26] So there'll be more news being analysed on there. But this one we'll keep in the podcast. Countries with more cats are happier, a study has shown. Okay, I'm not sure what we do with this thing. Because again, yes, there might simply be a numerical link between the happiness rating that you get when you survey people about their happiness and the number of cats that people have. Researchers looked at 93 countries. So not even all of those. Come on, mate. It's like 200. Pull your finger out your backside.

[00:17:52] And found that those with more cats relative to the human population reported greater happiness. Right? So already I can see statistically you could have framed this differently. Nations with fewer people are happier. Relative to the cat population, more people make you more miserable. That's less controversial, isn't it? That's flipping obvious. Britain came 18th on both happiness and cats per capita. Per capita.

[00:18:18] In the court of this study from a university in Finland, an estimated 13 million cats are in Britain, about one for every five people. But it implies that cats make you happy. Maybe happier people buy more cats. Maybe happier people eschew the dogs because walking a dog is meant to be good for you. What I'm saying is, I don't believe this. This is fodder for the cats versus dog argument that we just need to stop having.

[00:18:47] I've been into rows of people like, oh, cats are actually better because they're more independent. I think they're less needy. That's just projection, isn't it? They're the qualities you want in you right now. And you're seeing it in something else and saying it's good. If ever anyone says, I actually prefer cats because they're more independent. I think they're less needy than dogs. Your next sentence should be, was it a rough divorce then? What's going on there? Listen, thank you very much for listening to whatever waffle we've just managed to do. Get more news by subscribing to this podcast.

[00:19:16] We will keep keeping you up to date. Till next time. Thank you for listening to Steve N Allen. Almost. Daily. This podcast is part of Podomity. The UK's podcast comedy network. Why not laugh at what else we've got? Visit Podomity.com.