The Big Fridge Hack

[00:00:00] Hello, I'm Steve N Allen and welcome to Steve N Allen Almost Daily. Hello and welcome to the podcast that keeps you up to date with all of that there news stuff. The main news today, how about this? Scientists detect signals at the smallest scale ever explored. That's right, they took a picture of your willy. Boom! I mean, that's not what the story is though. The story is saying that 100 billion times smaller than an atom, they've managed to get a signal of what they're calling the zeptoverse, leptoverse, because that's the prefix.

[00:00:30] This is a scientist based in Cambridge, used experimental information from the Large Hadron Collider and they are detecting signals that could be used to detect dark matter. So if your willy is both dark matter and that small, I guess it's not true what they say. That is a bold opening to the podcast, are we sure? We're sure. Let's do the front pages. Let's do a swift look at some front pages. This is, was a wonger of Oz, is the front page of the star.

[00:01:00] This is, somehow, was a wonger of Oz, is Wayne Rooney is going on I'm a Celebrity. I don't know what language that's in, but I don't want to learn it. Well done to him. Wayne Rooney is going on I'm a Celebrity. He's getting paid more than Colleen did. He's getting paid 1.5 million pounds. He's not going to be that entertaining, is he? Unless every single conversation is about what are those grannies like. You're not going to be interested. The Times, Burnham prepares slavery apology. I saw that as a news story.

[00:01:30] I thought, was he, why is he apologizing? What's he done? How did, how did he make number 10 North? Because it sounds like if he's apologizing like that, what stories have you got in your back catalog? Private sector staff to get right to a pension income for life. I'm not going to understand that. Mahmood's back down on curbs to immigration. This is the indefinite leave to remain thing. They wanted to move it up to 15 years from 5. They're settling at 10. Actually, that is kind of the way negotiations work.

[00:02:00] If that's the only watering down, that's not as bad as they think. The same story is on the front page of the Daily Mail. Plus also, Harry and Meghan move into New Cotswold's home. Wow. Hey, Daily Mail, no one cares. And at some point, they'll be making out that you reporting where their house is or that they have one makes them the victims. Just feel free to shut up about it for a while. The Guardian also has the story about the cabinet backlash on immigration changes.

[00:02:30] Freezers in shops across Europe hit by hacking again. The Russians are hacking our freezers. We covered this on the YouTube show the other night. Apparently, you can hack into a fridge and turn it up to 80 degrees. Who makes a fridge that can do 80 degrees Celsius? What do you want to do to our chilled meats? Is that for someone who wants to put the chilled meats in the freezer?

[00:02:58] And then you can go on your phone, crank it up to 80 degrees, come home. Oh, what a nice warm platter of shakutari you might have. The I. Immigration crackdown. Mahmood will exempt 280,000 people in U-turn. But it's not exempt. Well, anyway, I've made my point on that one. They also have on the front page of the Daily Telegraph, inside Nigella's delectable bake-off style. They're analyzing her bake-off style. Isn't it just saying rude things about foods? Look at the melons on that.

[00:03:28] I'd like to cream. I don't know where. I don't know what she says, but she says rude things, doesn't she? That basically, in the olden days, it would have been someone on a carry-on film saying it, but now it's our chefs. That's what we've done with society. And the front page of, oh, the Metro just has the same thing, the new Cold War about our fridges being hacked. They're not that cold if these fridges can reach 80 degrees Celsius. It's hotter than my boiler goes to.

[00:03:55] I've got that set to 60 because I read somewhere that that is the most efficient temperature. Who makes a fridge that's hotter than my boiler? Them's your front pages. They've done another Word of the Year. Word of the Year. Previously, we had things like vibe coding. I do that these days. I'm with the old AI. Can't remember the rest. Oh, ghosting was in there at some point, wasn't it? Today's this year, the Word of the Year, mogging.

[00:04:24] And I thought this has got to be some sort of cat-related thing, isn't it? It's not, as it turns out. The expression means to show someone up or outperform them. It is a favourite among kids and teens with its use rising 210% in the last year. So if someone's doing something and you show them up by just doing it so much better, you're apparently mugging them. Or is it mugging them off? I don't know. And I wondered, why don't I know what this word is?

[00:04:52] And there's a strong chance it's because I don't do anything better than other people. What a way to find out. Couldn't mug if I tried. Oh, this is worrying. Ex-heavyweight boxing champ Frank Bruno had problems with a stalker. I mean, firstly, terrible. Stalkers, back off. What are you doing? I had trouble with one once. Then also, it's a brave person who tries to mess with a heavyweight boxer. Even a former one. Come on, you fool.

[00:05:19] But Frank Bruno says that he was stalked by a woman who claimed that he was the father of her child. He's lived through the plots of Billie Jean, the song. Digga, digga, digga, ding, ding. That's the other sign, isn't it? I think he's 64, but he could probably still do it. Can we get the money together to get him to record a version of it? You Billie Jean's not my lover. You know what I mean, Harry? He, he, he, he, he, he, he. I would listen to that. I don't know if you're an avid viewer of Miss England.

[00:05:48] I mean the contest, not just the person. That'd be weird. Miss England hopefuls will appear in the final makeup free for the first time in the beauty pageant's history. I'm torn on this one because, so it says each of the 38 entrants, including Nottingham's Aramachi Ugo 717. Can we not put a better age limit on that? But they will do a bare face top model round. Don't get those words in the wrong order. Otherwise people will be tuning in for all of the wrong reasons.

[00:06:17] You dirty old man. You dirty old man. I suppose makeup, you know, people say it's like cheating, isn't it? But at the same time, it's a beauty pageant. Having to go makeup free at a beauty pageant. I don't know. It's the same rules as when you couldn't take a calculator into a maths exam. I don't know, mate. We've invented the technology. Cannot just go with it. The Royal Mail have brought out their festive range of stamps, by the way. I know you don't care, but I'm telling you anyway.

[00:06:43] Anyway, they have released a series of five stamps featuring scenes of, wait for it, anyone guess at the back? The Nativity. Well, that must have been a long meeting. What shall we do for the Christmas stamps? I know. One of the pictures of the baby Jesus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they've designed pictures of the wise men traveling, the baby Jesus, all the rest of it. An angel, one of them as well. Can I just say, I don't think, if I were the Royal Mail, and I think we can all agree that

[00:07:10] I'm not, I don't think I'd do Christmas-themed stamps at all. It really highlights when you don't deliver something on time. It's not like they're really doing well at that at the moment. When we're halfway through January, by my word, maybe even into February, and you hear the old flap make its noise, and then your post lands on the mat, you go out there, and you just see a little Christmassy image. Which, immediately it's highlighted how the Royal Mail are not doing their job properly.

[00:07:36] What you want to do is bring out a series of Christmas stamps, and what are they themed on this year? Maybe Jesus on the Cross? Easter? Yeah, we just thought we'd mix it up a little bit. And that way, when something arrives around Easter, you go, that's swift delivery. And then you open it and find out it was a Christmas card. But still, it's half a good idea. More Christmas news. You can tell it's just around the corner, they're doing the surveys and stuff. A survey says that parents plan on buying fewer tech gadgets this year, and instead they are

[00:08:06] focusing on family time. And can I just say, I'm having that as an idea. Oh, genius. Instead of saying, I don't want to buy you things like an expensive thousand pounds worth of iPhone or a PlayStation, whatever number they're up to these days, or anything else like that. Or even something that's just hard to find, because they're all sold out. But no, no, no. What I'm going to get you this Christmas instead is time with me. What do you mean that's not worth a thousand pounds? Shut your face.

[00:08:35] And this is genius, because if I'd have done this, go, I'm not going to buy any gifts. No, you have some time with me. It would have been reframed as if somehow I were tight. Whereas this time, what I'm saying to my family is, I'm not going to get you the things you want. What I will get you is some time where I'm not moaning about how much I spent on your gifts. And that's worth more than the money can buy. More AI news. And I always like to get my AI news from the tabloids, because I'm sure they know what they're on about.

[00:09:02] According to an expert, AI could enslave humanity. Oh, good. We're back on that one again. And users to power things. Like in The Matrix is what it's saying. But I thought everyone had already worked out that the math doesn't really work. The Matrix, great film. But if you sit there and go, why would you have humans? If you have humans in pods to produce energy, where do you think our energy comes from? The food that we eat. So you'd still have to go and get the food and give it to a human to let a human convert it from food into energy.

[00:09:33] And then you have to take the energy. The inefficiencies here are terrible. Why don't you just burn the food? The energy is in the chemical. Well, if you oxidize food, you get more heat out of it. Get yourself a calorimeter. Here's another idea. Get a tree. You know how they can capture photons? Get nuclear. Go and dig for all the uranium that's left under bits of Africa. This AI, I think my point is this. If AI thinks the place to get energy from is us humans, don't get me wrong, I kick out

[00:10:02] quite a bit of body heat. The cat likes sitting on me. But I don't think that's enough to power your data center. If AI is that dumb, we probably don't have to fear it. Well, that's just about all we have time for. Thank you very much for listening. Subscribe to wherever you found this podcast. Track me down on social media at Mr. Steve N Allen. And until next time. Thank you for listening to Steve N Allen. Almost. Daily. This podcast is part of Podomity.

[00:10:30] The UK's podcast comedy network. Why not laugh at what else we've got? Visit Podomity.com.