Trump Trumped

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[00:01:26] Skip the showings now, pocket extra profit later. This is so simple now. This is so awesome later. Or sell fast now and pop the champagne later. Cash Now More Later. Now available nationwide. Start your offer at opendoor.com slash ACAST. Profits calculated after fees and costs, eligibility and offer price may vary. Hello, I'm Steve N Allen and welcome to Steve N Allen Almost Daily.

[00:01:54] Welcome along to the podcast that gets you up to date with the latest news, which means we need to start today with the news about America. Even though I'm normally annoyed at how much we obsess about American news, given they are just another foreign country and yet we act. I say this because I once got in trouble for doing a joke about Donald Trump. Someone was saying, you're the BBC, you're not meant to be biased. No, no, you just can't be biased about stuff in the UK. And I have to say, I don't like Kim Jong-un. So why am I not allowed to express an opinion on Trump?

[00:02:21] But you know what people are like, um, Republicans lose House and Senate. But at the same time, Trump has reached the age where if you start to lose the odd thing, keys, some more hair, then it's not really surprising. And I say that now, but I do a joke about the flipping Democrats. And then again, I'm not the BBC these days. This is the internet. You can be as biased as you like. Let's crack on with the front pages. Look, before we get into all that, we do actually, it's worth having another little brush with the American news. And by the way, it's presented in the newspapers. Obviously, they're slightly behind.

[00:02:50] They don't know any result-y stuff yet. President record low ratings. Donald Trump was braced for potentially disastrous election results. So at least, you know, it's not coming in as a shock. What I thought was fascinating is with Donald Trump. And again, you know, sue me if this comes across as biased. But I've always been like the fair play kind of person. I like someone who can win without rubbing their face in it. I spend so much of my time these days saying to my four-year-old lad, don't make people feel bad for having less than you. Because he'll say like, Dad, can I have the Paw Patrol plate?

[00:03:20] And I'll give him the Paw Patrol plate. And instead of being like, oh, thanks, Dad. He'll say to his sister, no, no, I've got the Paw Patrol plate. I'm like, well, now you've got to lose it because you're being – and I don't use the word to him. But I think we all know what I'm trying to say as being. But you can't teach him those words because he'll just say them at school, even though I'm sure some of the teachers are. But previously with Donald Trump, it's been a case of losing something and winning and boasting and losing and saying, no, I didn't lose. And I watched that film.

[00:03:47] I watched half the film, The Apprentice one, where apparently that's how he was taught. Never admit defeat, which is just not real. I'm a realist. If you lose something, just lose it and go, all right, crack on. So anyway, you know, the fact that no one – no true deep in the party Republican, no true Trumper Republican has ever said the words out loud, he lost the 2020 election, whichever one it was. Because you have to just pretend. Oh, don't even mention it. And now he's actually admitted some losses.

[00:04:17] I saw a quote from Donald Trump. Actually, it was a clip. I heard him saying, for some reason, sitting presidents don't win midterms. So he's not – he's moving the blame away from him into just this ethereal fact of nature. But he's not saying it was a scam and it was lost yet. I should reopen my phone and see if that's happened yet. Anyway, there's the hot take on the Trump thing. Front page is next. All right, let's see the front pages. Calls to scrap chilling trans laws is the front page of the Daily Telegraph.

[00:04:45] This is the you're not allowed to say things anymore. There is a clip of the internet on the internet of me trying to analyze this story. One of the jokes we did on the live stream was about you're not allowed to tell your children they can't identify as a cat, which is a bit of a skewed interpretation of what the law is actually like. But I think the point is some bad lawyer could take that to court, could misinterpret the aim of the law and say, oh, no, you can't do that. And I said, you don't need to.

[00:05:11] You just say to your kids, oh, I think there's a law in this land, which means if you run over a cat, you don't have to report it. Just, you know, give them some – so that's on the internet. And someone left a comment saying, I think promising to kill your children might not be the best way to connect with them. I love it when you do a joke and someone responds like it's an actual thing because now humor doesn't exist in the modern day world. Also on the front page of the Telegraph, Russia blamed for malicious bomb threats to flights across Europe.

[00:05:39] They're really winding us up, aren't they? Can we do them for stalking or something? They're making hoax phone calls. They're making our fridges too hot. All right. We're not going to sleep with you. The Times. President plays Trump card by scrapping Israel aid on polling day. We'll see how that turned out. Slavery was evil, but we helped end it, says the king. Oh, this is the – I've often thought – I've said this on this podcast. The idea of apology – of course you can apologize for a bad thing. That's very separate.

[00:06:08] We shouldn't be afraid of apologizing. EU deal will cut price of holidays for pets at least. Oh, good. Can I send my pets on holiday? Because I've got a kid who thinks it's a cat. The Daily Mail says Britain had leading role in ending slave trade, says Charles. Covered that one already. PM to reveal EU youth visa pact and trade deals worth billions. So there's a youth visa which sends your pets on holiday for cheaper. Honestly, are all the kids cats now? I did that as a joke.

[00:06:39] I have to be careful where I drive. Celeb losers gag bid. Front page of the Star. We've got that one. The celeb that you can name, but no one can. NVIDIA demands cuts in client China dealing to protect America AI lead. Is there on the front page of the Financial Times? NVIDIA, just by making the graphics cards, became like the richest company. Mirror has the sex claim star bid, blah, blah, blah, blah. Paris in fight for Jacko's missing millions. I've just been reading about this.

[00:07:06] Paris Hilton wants some money from, it's like half a billion or something, that's been kept in a trust to actually go to the children of Michael Jackson. I mean, she's got skin in this game, although literally not at the same time. You know what I mean? If they say, yes, we can, but there will be a DNA test, she will back down on that one. King says slavery was monstrous, but stopped short of offering an apology. It's the front page of the I, and what else have we got? Even our spooks are spooked, says the Metro.

[00:07:38] Britain's top cyber crime fighters say that gangs are sabotaging the supermarkets across Europe. And that we have done the tech. This is such a blurry picture. It sounds like I'm an idiot reading this. Done the tech on the cheap for decades. And that's why they can hack our things, yeah. Wouldn't it be cheaper to have a fridge that doesn't connect to the Wi-Fi? There's already enough stuff on my Wi-Fi. Oh, why's your Zoom call not working? Oh, the fridge is uploading its firmware. What?

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[00:09:34] In war news, the UK's flagship aircraft carrier has returned to frontline duties to deter Russian aggression. This is the HMS Prince of Wales. Do they have to get a different ship to be it when the prince became the king and the other prince became that prince? Do they move a different ship in? They should, but they don't. Because it was a bit of an embarrassment because it needed repaired, and now it's all sorted. Back on the job.

[00:09:59] The only problem is, recently it seems like Russian aggression is more about hacking our shop's fridges. You see that news story the other day? Someone had hacked into fridges across Europe and made them a bit warmer. So it's great that we have a naval defense. It feels like we also need someone going around with a cool box. Maybe that is the one thing we could definitely get our government to successfully fund.

[00:10:25] A famous man, it says here in the newspaper, has lost his high court bid to stop sex claims about him from being reported. So this is, and we all know who it is, but I still don't say it, just in case. I mean, if he bothers to sue me, what a fall in a career that would be for him. Or her. No, it's for him. And I do like, I was on the old telly the other day, and I was on with it, it was being hosted by Alex Armstrong.

[00:10:51] And they did a gag in the studio where they drop the lights but keep the displays on behind him. And I said, it was nice to see you in silhouette. You're the guy who's got an injunction out. I'm not sure if you're allowed to say that even. But he's lost it now, actually, so you can. There's an anonymity thing still in place, so you're not allowed to say his name. But you now can report definitely that the person has tried to get an injunction and didn't. What? But a judge rejected his bid but ruled his identity should stay protected for now, subject to any appeal.

[00:11:21] Oh, I see. The man who denies the claims. Ah, so he's a man who denies claims. That's narrowed it down. Said the publication would be highly likely to lead to him. Well, he can't say this on the internet. But you know he made the threat like, oh, if they publish my name, that's it. I'm going to go and, I think you can use the phrase top yourself on the internet. I might be talking about mogging yourself. Um, that's a, that seems like a very convenient threat.

[00:11:48] I don't want to be too heartless about this, but it feels like you're holding yourself to ransom. This is, you know, there's that scene in Blazing Saddles where the sheriff gets his gun out and points at his own head and goes like, anyone moves and the beep gets it. And the whole town are like, it's that, isn't it? Just with sex claims rather than racism issues. You're up to date. This is worrying data. I've got some data down here. Obesity among children in England is increasing.

[00:12:17] Some 10.7% of kids in the reception, which is, you know, the year that my lad's in, so I'm starting to pay attention to this stuff, of primary school ages four to five are obese. 10%? 10%. I do worry because, look, at some point, I don't know if any of my kids, they're doing all right so far, but they've inherited my genes. So they're very much going to like chocolate. So I do worry about them. But also I do remember back when I was growing up, it's not like we had healthy food.

[00:12:46] My parents, for some reason, didn't really agree with vegetables. They wanted all foods to be orange. Beans, tinned ravioli, fish fingers. If it wasn't orange, it wouldn't go anywhere near me. And then you had your sweets, your Arctic roll, your angel delight. It felt like none of the food was healthy. So why are we fatter now than we were in the 70s? And I think it's because back in the 1970s, you had TV presenters you wanted to run away from. It might be to do with sedentary lifestyle. I think I've cracked that one. This is interesting.

[00:13:13] They've done some research and they think that people trying to sound like Del Boy or the Gallagher brothers on purpose, according to vocal experts. They say that people have a high degree of control over their accent and they use it to regularly mimic the voices of telly characters or music stars they admire. This is from Ohio State University. Got subjects to listen to an Australian woman speaking. They were then told to copy her accent to avoid or avoid copying it and simply repeat what she said.

[00:13:42] I think they've done research to say that people can do accents. Yeah. No, I think we knew that, didn't we? Everyone can do, you can't necessarily do it well. I try and do a Welsh one and it very much moves across to India, but that's still not my accent. Do you know what I mean? No one tries an accent and it just goes back to theirs. You try and do Irish, next thing you know, slightly in the Caribbean, but it's fine. It's definitely doing an accent.

[00:14:09] Isn't it interesting to say, look, people try and sound like the Del Boy, they try and sound like the Gallagher brothers. No one's trying to sound like anyone from the Birmingham area. Oh, heart bleeds. I went to university in Birmingham and one of the reasons it's I know it's harsh. One of the reasons I didn't stay there is if you settle down and have kids. That feels harsh. But it's just true, isn't it? It's just.

[00:14:36] And they always make northern people do call center work because apparently northerners are more trustworthy. I don't know. Have you ever been up there and returned with your hubcaps? Exactly. I'm bringing you this story because at the end of this story, I'm going to show off that I'm probably the best husband ever. I'm the goat, man. I'm the greatest of all time because. Well, here's the survey. More than half of adults have swapped nights out and going to the bar and clubs for evening at home cooking. It's like a new trend. You save money. You enjoy it. You stay home. Do a bit of cooking. Have an arse. Get yourself something nice. Right.

[00:15:06] And this reminded me. I don't think I've told you yet. My missus had a birthday last month. And one of the things I got for it. It won't cheat, mind. One of the things I got for it was a professional chef. Master chef. My other half sits around watching Master Chef all the time. So I got a chef to come around and to give her like a lesson in doing Master Chefery. And just to reframe that again. That's right. What did you get your missus for a birthday? Cookery lessons. Oh, I'm the dude.

[00:15:37] I just sat there going, I think I've absolutely got away with this. Oh, thanks for that, darling. No problem. I think if I could just go around and tell this to a room full of men, I'll be held aloft on their shoulders. For a joke as well, back in one of the anniversaries, whichever one was Cotton, I did get an Iron Inboard cover. So I'm absolutely two for two on this. In entertainment news, congratulations to Katie Melua, one of the few celebrities I met back when I was working in the Southwest.

[00:16:06] She did a gig for the radio station I was on. Singer Katie Melua has revealed she has had a second child. Oh, so not only have we worked together, we've both got two kids. We've got so much in common, me and Katie Melua. The thing is, you know, at some point when this child grows up, the kid's going to ask if it can, I don't know if it's a boy or a girl, actually. Shall I have a look? Newborn, she said, bundle of joy was a boy called Max. She's literally child maxing like the young people. Congratulations to her.

[00:16:36] This Max boy at some point will say, can I have a bicycle? What's she got to say? No, there's not enough. Come on, we all remember who you are, Katie. Experts are saying that Britain and other wealthy nations should spend billions of pounds on planet cooling. Tell me more. I mean, I don't like the idea of spending billions of pounds. Plus also, last time I checked, we don't have billions of pounds. But still, this is Sir David King called for big funding for geoengineering.

[00:17:05] Some of the ideas include brightening the clouds by delivering an electric current from drones and freezing the Arctic by pumping seawater on top of shrinking ice sheets. That feels like that's just mindless busy work, isn't it? That thing that's melting, throw water on it. Good luck with that. Also, surely you want to throw fresh water on it. It would freeze. Saltwater has already reached the temperature at which it's melting.

[00:17:33] I think this guy might be absolutely just on the con trying to get billions of pounds out of people, which doesn't sound like a bad idea. If you want to government, if you want to send some some money my way, I did thermodynamics at uni. No, no, I didn't think you would. Don't start with this. Shoppers will spend an average of 304 pounds treating themselves on Black Friday. Research suggests don't give me this guff about Black Friday again. There was one year it was busy in this country and the rest of it.

[00:18:01] Everyone's been like, no, it's an American thing. Then again, we said earlier that people are getting fat and that seems to be an American thing. No, it just never happens. The press releases and all the stuff getting into the newspapers is just to try and make people think there's that fear of missing out. Oh, everyone's going to go and have a fistfight with a granny over a cheap telly. No, we don't. Have you seen the internet? You should get that these days. No, no, no. People are going to go and it's going to be like the Hunger Games.

[00:18:26] People are going to be competing fistfights, barehanded, whatever you call it, bare fist knuckle fighting to get yourself through the front door of curries. A curry is still open. It's not a thing. And obviously this will be the one year when someone finds this clip on the internet after Black Friday is the thing that's brought those European riots over here. Steve, what do you think now when like curries is now on fire? Hot curries. I mean, the headline writes itself.

[00:18:56] But in general, every time you see a story about Black Friday, I think it's planted there by the big corporations to try and make you think you have to rush out. So just don't. Well, that's just about all we have time for. Thank you very much for listening. Subscribe to wherever you found this podcast. It would be very nice if you send me a little message on social medias. The threads, the X, the bluesky-doosky at Mr. Stephen Allen is a great way to find me. And until next time. Thank you for listening to Stephen Allen almost daily.

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