Double Bill

[00:00:00] So if we're like this, I think this may be potentially kind of as best angles, you know? We look cool, we look like a real podcast, we look like real boys. Any thoughts, Bo? No. Of course he doesn't. Same old shit as ever. What an asshole.

[00:00:24] Now, with being this close, microphones have turned down quite low, so you need to make sure you're talking into it. Okay. Like this. Like this. Like this. Let's do that again. Like this. Yeah, perfect. Okay. I'm kind of making out with it. Yeah, well, I mean, maybe not quite making out with it. Is it like here? Yeah, that'll be good. Is that okay? Yeah, yeah, we're fine. We're fine. Let's... I don't like the voice, Ian. Yeah, I don't know why that's happening.

[00:00:54] You guys are making a podcast. But no one asked for this. So welcome to the The Podcast Nobody Asked For. Me, Ian Harries. Oh, we're going straight into this. And me, Graham Jones. Yeah. I thought we'd go straight into it. That's fine. Is that all right with you? Yeah. I also realised I did that before I got my notes up. So this is the podcast where we argue about a top three list of a topic that nobody else wants to talk about.

[00:01:23] We've each bought three picks to talk through and then we'll be figuring out the podcast nobody asked for's official top three. Double bills. Double bills. And a couple of things for us to talk about in the intro. True. Yep. One, let's address the elephant in the room now. Okay. But we're filming this on a big boy camera. We are. We're on a sofa like we're a real boy podcast. Yes. But I don't know about you. I'm not 100% sure how I'm supposed to do this. Am I supposed to look at you? Am I supposed to look at the dog that's between us?

[00:01:51] Am I supposed to look at the camera? How does it work? I don't think you're meant to acknowledge the camera. That's weird. Isn't that called corpsing? I believe. No, corpsing is when you laugh. Are you sure? Yeah. What's it called when you look down the camera then? I thought it was something like that. You could stare down the barrel, I guess. Yeah, but there's something. There is a term for it. I'm not sure. But to make sure that we can, because obviously because we're being filmed on a big boy camera, also being filmed as if there's other people.

[00:02:20] It's just on a tripod that I had to awkwardly bring into your house. Obviously it means we're together. I don't think we've done a full episode together apart from the live show last week. Yeah, yeah. A full proper topic, top three kind of episode together since the great failed recording of 2025. Was that the Ben Nevis one? No, the... Oh, but that wasn't a full episode either. That was a... Oh, I suppose no, it wasn't. Yeah. Go us.

[00:02:48] It felt like a full one to lose that much. Yeah. Great content of you reading a receipt you found of my laughable supplies for Ben Nevis. I forgot about that. Which included like two different packs of Lunchables. Yeah, yeah. I normally buy Lunchables for my son. Yeah. Well, that's the problem. We are... Me and your son are worryingly similar. Yeah, true. This is very true. Besides me and my niece with that photo I sent you earlier. Mm. Spaced out on cake.

[00:03:18] Yeah. Spaced out on cake on the kitchen floor in a space I've definitely been in at a house bar. Yeah. What, I mean, is there any additional context you want to add to that? No. Picture? No? No, not really. Okay. She just had had a lot of cake. She's had a lot of cake. Fair enough. Spaced out on the floor as all good four-year-olds are. Right. So that is topic one. Right. Topic one ticked. Topic one ticked. Topic two. Yes. Health update. I feel like that's something to cover. Okay.

[00:03:46] This does sound like you're about to come out as your terminal or something. Yeah. I don't think it's terminal, which, like... Maybe for your rugby career. Yeah. Too soon? Yeah. It is too soon. It is too soon. So, didn't know this at the live show, but even if I did, it probably would have been better to lie about it. I haven't torn the meniscus in my knee. I've torn my ACL, which is a lot worse than the meniscus. Yes.

[00:04:16] Yes. I'm basing it on my knowledge of when it happens to my players in fantasy football and how long they're out for. And I feel like meniscuses, menisci, can be trimmed and you're back on the field within like four weeks. Meniscus isn't even IR. Yeah. Like, it's just, let's go. Straight back in. Yeah. So, it turns out I dislocated my knee and it popped back into place without me realizing either of those things had happened. Sans ACL. Sans ACL. Sans ACL.

[00:04:46] So, I don't know if you've ever had a doctor tell you this is where the ACL should be. Yeah. But that was a fun terminology for it. No. I mean, I've also seen the scan and it looks, I guess if I'd have seen it in isolation, I don't know if it would have been as shocking, but it was side by side with a healthy version version of your knee from a few years ago. Yeah.

[00:05:13] It does look, it looks like pre and not to go back to something that I spoke about at the live show, but like pre and post, you know, ending the World War II with a bomb. Very similar to those World War II photos. What's your, so I saw you on. Let's be real, Graham. We have seen too much of a show this week. Both of our wives are annoyed.

[00:05:41] I saw you Tuesday for Anjindi Patrine. Yep. Fucking weird band. Triangle Up band. Yeah. I saw you Wednesday for Enshikari. Triangle Down band. Yeah. Wednesday was when you found out pre, pre coming here for pre Enshikari. Yes. You had spoken, you'd basically, well, your insurance company on your behalf had paid about 300 quid for you to talk to someone for about four minutes. About four minutes. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:06:09] We could probably remember it verbatim. It was just, so you have done some damage to your knee. It's like, great. So you came here. You were working from mine for a bit before we were headed out. Went to the gig. Had a subway. You were still very much digesting the news. Yeah. We stood most of the way to the back of the gig. Mm-hmm. We are now, let's probably 48 hours in. Yep.

[00:06:38] Where's. Sorry. Your dog is just licking my jeans. He's sad about your knee. Yeah. I appreciate that. He's trying to make you feel better. Jesus Christ. Right. Sorry. Carry on. We were standing mostly in the back. Yeah. We're 48 hours on from the diagnoses. Where's your head at? No. I know that Harley did suggest that this was like therapy, but. Yeah. No, this is her. And we're on a couch now. Yeah. No. Good. Good point. We are on a couch.

[00:07:08] It's a bit shit, isn't it? Yes. Great content there. Yep. Fair. It. Weirdly. It's a bit of a relief that actually something was wrong. Because have you ever had that like the like the doctor anxiety where it's. I'm going to go there and they're going to tell me everything is fine. You're all good. And I'm just kind of making it up. Yeah. Like Caleb Williams in the with his hamstring. Yeah. Like do you think there's anyone listening to this podcast who understands 100% of our references? We have such a weird. It's quite.

[00:07:37] If there is, it's probably N of one. Like that Venn diagram is a sliver, I think. Yeah. Because it is just pulling out Caleb Williams is weird enough. Yeah. But yeah. So it was nice that I'm not making it up. That's the most positive thing I could say. Okay. Fair enough. I get some dramatic surgery at some point that might get me out of some work stuff I don't want to do. Yeah. Nice boot, maybe. Yeah. Potentially a nice boot.

[00:08:06] Better than that stupid little sandal I have when I left my ankle done. Yeah. No, exactly. Wander around. Exactly. This is a proper injury. It's going to be great. I haven't, I think for mental health reasons, I haven't ruled out a return to rugby, but let's be real. That's probably me done. Yeah. At least every single week is done. Might be like, you know, oh, you really need an extra person on the bench. Fine.

[00:08:31] Could they do, is there like a, is there a role, you know, like in some America, like a, like a relief pitcher or like, you know, the, like the, the, is it the goon in, um, yeah. So like, like NHL. Substitute is fine. What I, what I would have to think about is because all the positions I'm good at involve, uh, strength, but specifically strength that involves propping up about 16 other people.

[00:09:01] So we'll have to see. But yeah. Um, it's a shame that we didn't have the MRI. Like my big regret is not having the MRI scan for the live show. Yeah. And it's weird that you know, and people listening know, I'm not joking. Well, you were debating trying to accelerate getting hold of it, weren't you? Yeah. I, I had an email written out to go to, um, my doctor about it, but it didn't feel like something I could, because as soon as they start inquiring, I couldn't tell him the truth about why I needed it.

[00:09:28] But then also it would seem even creepier if I then said, actually, no, don't worry. It's fine. There might, there could have been a, could there been a, you could have been like, I'm going to, you know. Okay. Well, as we were saying, like there's turkey teeth, Norway knee. So you could have been, I'm going to, I was just going to, you know, send it to my doctor in Norway to, uh, to get my, my, my health, my health tourism.

[00:09:54] I'm preemptively seeking a second opinion on whether I will be able to, uh, beat because live show hasn't come out for the majority of our listeners yet. No. So there were, there were two big debates where I think my knee came into focus with, um, and, um. Very much the same debate, different animals. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You played a blinder on that one to be fair. Um, right. Health update. Tick. Yes. Right.

[00:10:24] One more update. Then we can get back into why we're doing double bills. Okay. Right. Had a weird dream yesterday. Oh yes. You told me about this. So this is, this is an interesting insight. You can chuck the peek behind the curtain jingle up now. Again, another, another, another peek behind the curtain. Yeah. Behind the curtain. Behind the curtain. Again. What's there? Ian and I do have these instances where something happens and we purposely just don't have

[00:10:52] a normal conversation because it feels like it's pod worthy. And this is, this is one of those situations. Yeah. So again, not to make, can you stop kicking me dog? Not, not to make this, uh, feel. This must be the first appearance of Bowie in a long time. I think it, I think it is. I'm not sure he's been on, uh, he's just decided that he's going to prop himself. I like it. Anyway. Anyway. Um, so yeah, I had a weird dream. Right. Uh. Sex dream? Not sex dream. Okay. No. Um, sounds like a euphemism though. Okay. But it's not. Right.

[00:11:22] I dreamt that I worked in a sausage quarry. A sausage quarry? A sausage quarry. Okay. It's a quarry where they get sausages from. Right. So crafting hard at the quarry face. Okay. For sausages. Many questions. Yeah. I don't know where that came from. I don't know one, why I was specifically dreaming about quarries. There was a quarry in a Chicago Med episode. Okay. It wasn't sausages though. So I don't know. I've got an idea about the sausage part though. Cool.

[00:11:50] I mean, first, first and foremost, probably sausages are great. For what? The penis. Um, but also you recently sent me a photo of your dad inspecting chickens. Oh yeah. And I wonder if there's some kind of, um, so for, for the, I don't know if you'll put this up on a picture of your dad inspecting chickens. I could put, so I could put it here. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So yeah. As in like literally in, like in a factory expecting, inspecting dead chickens to check

[00:12:20] if they were chickens. But I wonder if, I wonder if that has. Checking if they're chickens. Yeah. Checking if they're dead. Two. Yeah. Checking if they aren't like some kind of, I don't know, mutant freak chicken. Okay. So like three wings or something. Yeah. Okay. Interesting. One sec. I'm just going to, I'm going to ask Claude. Okay. Um, so let's just imagine that you are, um, Sigmund Freud and someone came to you with

[00:12:48] a dream and that dream was that they were working really hard in a quarry that produced sausages. Yeah. Working hard at the sausage quarry face, I believe is the. Sausage quarry face. Is the quote. I believe it was sausage meat coming out of the quarry. Sausage meat was coming out of the quarry. Okay. There we go. Just analyze that as if you were Sigmund Freud, please. This is what comes out like takes 20 minutes to run through and then all AI. The sausage quarry.

[00:13:17] Most revealing. We begin with the obvious. And I must stay. Is he doing accents? The sausage is rarely just a sausage. Here you are hacking away at a rock face and that comes out soft, formless sausage meat. This is the soul. Unconscious. Showing you a man who labors mightily but feels his output is, how you say, unshaped. The quarry is the mother earth. The deep sauce. And you are mining her for nourishment. Classic really.

[00:13:48] And the sheer effort? This suggests a man who believes reward must be dug out by force. Tell me. That were you doing the day before this dream. And how is your relationship with your mother? That didn't go the way I thought it would. Even just the accent is one of the funniest things that's happened in a while. It's also like, it's written like.

[00:14:17] It's written like that as well. Yeah. Oh my God. And how is your relationship with your mother? So mum, our relationship with mum's all right. Until I found out you'd be messaging her. Interesting. Oh man. So my dreams. That was very funny. Tick. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Fair. And that brings us on to the crux of the episode. Why we're doing double bills. Double bills. Do you want to explain? Yes. Yes. Because we had the fantastic news last week, week before last.

[00:14:47] Last week I think. That the Prince Charles Cinema has been saved. I think mainly down to us pushing their petition on social media. They didn't explicitly call us out. But I like to think that we were at least 90% of the reason. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, it's no secret that we love the Prince Charles Cinema. Not the king. Like the bridge though. It's the Prince of Wales bridge, which technically isn't Charles. Oh yeah, true. That's the Will bridge now.

[00:15:20] Carry on. So yeah, no secret we love the Prince Charles cinema. And I think we have always said that the absolute goal from doing some of this podcast, other than just being able to talk shit and get paid for it rather than have real jobs, would be to like do some programming there.

[00:16:11] Mm-hmm. It's been a long day of solo parenting. We're not going to go, like you can't do like one and two of a film. It has to be more of a loose interpretation of double. Or nuanced. Nuanced. Yeah. Yes. I like it. I like it a lot. I am going to go straight to my movie recommendation nobody asked for, if that's all right with you. Oh, is it you? I thought it was mine because you did the live show. True. But that's also coming out. You did the episode before this. Right.

[00:16:41] Is this coming out before the live show? We are. Yeah, we are. We are in a bit of a middle timey-wimey kind of loopy loop. Okay. You can do your movie recommendation? I don't mind. I had one, but I'm also fine with you doing one. No. Should we both do one? Double bill. Yes, I like it. I like it a lot. Right. What's your movie recommendation nobody asked for? Jingle.

[00:17:06] I assume you guys are here for a movie recommendation. No, thank you. Nah. I'm fine. Nah, I'm fine. I'm all right, actually. Nah. I'm fine. It's all right. I'm fine. That's all right. Fuck off. My movie recommendation nobody asked for is, or it could be a few, I'm going to go with 1981's Stripes. Okay. Because it stars both Bill Murray and Bill Paxton. It's a double bill. Ah!

[00:17:36] Ah! I was going to, I've just remembered that was what I was going to try and Google. Whether, but I didn't think of Bill Murray. I thought if Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman had been in anything together. Ah! So Bill Pullman and Bill Smitrovich were in Independence Day. Ah! You said if you go out on a limb and include a Billy, you have Bill Paxton and Billy Zane in Titanic. Interesting.

[00:18:01] Um, or Tombstone goes one too far because it has Bill Paxton, Billy Zane and Billy Bob Thornton. Oh, interesting. That's a triple bill which we're not doing. Yeah. And then Ghostbusters has Bill Murray and then William Atherton if you count on Williams. Interesting. I thought of all of them, Bill Murray, Bill Paxton, Stripes, I don't know what the film is, never heard of it before. Is it, there's one called Stripes with a zebra that's a horse. Stripes is, so you're thinking of racing stripes. That's the one I'm thinking of.

[00:18:29] Stripes is Bill Murray in the army. I literally just said it, I've never heard of it. Yeah, it's Bill Murray in the army. Cool. Yeah, I'll just say it with confidence. Um, and if you wanted to double bill Stripes with something, any suggestions? Uh, so my movie recommendation was going to be A Knight's Tale. Okay. Because, uh, no it wasn't actually, it was going to be Commando. Right. Uh, because. Was A Knight's Tale ever in consideration or were you just.

[00:18:59] Yes, no it was because I was trying to remember the first film I went to the Prince Charles Cinema and saw. Okay. So. Right. I couldn't remember if it was A Knight's Tale or Commando, but both of them came with a slice of pizza and a beer. Nice. When they did the movie. Yeah. It was like, um, action movies. Yeah. Pizza and Bill wasn't it? Yeah. I can't remember which one I went to first. So it was, it was, I'm kind of lean Commando, but A Knight's Tale was. You look like you are. Yes.

[00:19:25] Well, the angle's not doing me a lot good, but A Knight's Tale was when, um, me and my wife accidentally got really, really drunk. We accidentally went on a bar crawl of Crystal Palace with one of our friends. Yes. I remember. And then met up with friend of the pod, Ryan, to watch A Knight's Tale who hadn't been drinking all day. So he just turned up and I was just like unnecessarily steaming to go into A Knight's Tale, um, which was great. But Commando is a great action film. I like Commando. Commando is great.

[00:19:55] Let things breathe. Eh? See what I did? Yes. Yeah. Um, I do. What do you think the first thing you saw at the Prince Charles cinema was? Good question. Um, I've got a feeling it actually might have been a double bill. I, I feel like it was the, um, the Gremlins, um, diehard double bill that they did at Christmas. Interesting. Their alternative Christmas double bills. That is a good one. I think.

[00:20:21] I've always wanted them to double bill, uh, Holy Grail and Life of Brian, but I've never seen them do it. Oh, yeah. Fair point. Be good. Yeah, it would be nice. How dare they? How? That seems so obviously something they should have done. It feels like there's a reason why they haven't been able to do it. It's probably like a, it's probably John Cleese. Let's be real. Michael Palin would have been. I like, you said the John Cleese thing and then you seem to look just to double check your son hadn't come downstairs and heard you bad mouth John Cleese.

[00:20:50] I thought I heard some, I thought I heard some shuffling upstairs. No, it's okay, son. Yeah. John Cleese is all right. Yes. We, we loved, we loved him back then. 40 hours is great. It just, he's just a bit of a tit now. Yeah. Um, you know what else we've seen at the Pritchard Cinema before? We do. I do. Yes. Uh, we saw, um, Ari Aster's Midsummer. We did. On. Midsummer. Ari Aster's Midsummer. On Ari Aster's Midsummer Day. Um, which was quite good.

[00:21:19] I'm not sure if they still do that, but it was nice seeing it in, seeing it in cinema again. Yeah. Yeah. I, do you know what? This is probably the, since Midsummer came out, I am probably at the longest point from between Midsummer viewing. At the longest point from it coming out. It's like, yes, we always are. But yeah, I think I am. Is that, there's a, what looks like a dead spider over there, but also looks like the spider from Possum. Yeah. That does look like the spider from Possum. Doesn't it?

[00:21:49] Yeah. Yeah. That's unnecessarily creepy. Oh, it's not. It's definitely alive, actually. Is it alive? Yeah. I just saw it moving a little bit. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway. Yeah. So I think this is the longest I am between viewings. I don't think I watched it last year. No. And I haven't watched it this year yet, so. I watched it this year with my wife, who's not a horror movie fan. And she was not, my one sole job was to warn her when something gory was about to happen.

[00:22:18] And I 100% forgot a couple of bits. What part did you forget? At a stupor? There was, I remember the at a stupor. I remember that. I remember, I think there was an extra, like, double take at it that I forgot there was. But if you want to listen to how that went, sign up to our Patreon, because there's a nice peek behind the curtain episode. I had, I watched American Psycho with my wife the other day and turned off, went to bed,

[00:22:48] and her sole summary of it was, I think that was for me. So. I have. Wow. Bo's done something weapons grade. Nice. So, yeah. I've, I've convinced my wife to watch Friday Night Lights with me, which I'm weirdly excited about, because I haven't watched that since, oh God, like fucking 12 years ago. I don't think I've ever seen it, you know. It's so. The movie or the series? The series.

[00:23:18] It's so trashy, but it's so good. It is. Well, it's good as well, because you, you know, you, you are, you are short on series to watch, aren't you? Yeah. Well, I am. Actually, there's an update. I know we're going back into the intro here, but let's, let's give an update on not just physical, but mental health. Where, where are you in your Chicago universe? The connected, the, is it the, the TV? So it's called One Chicago.

[00:23:47] It's called One Chicago. Is the, is the, is the, is the TV universe. So I'm there. Chicago Fire, I'm up to date with what is actually, no, I've got an episode in hand because one came out today in UK specifically. Right. Chicago Med, I have watched an inappropriate amount of that since you told me not to do it. What's inappropriate? Four seasons. So that's pretty much 80 episodes. Hey, Graham.

[00:24:17] I'm genuinely speechless. Well, because it's the kind of thing you could just have on in the background. So I will have it on in the background a lot while I'm working. I never understood. I don't understand how you do that. I could not have something on. Because your job matters. Yeah, but I'd be so distracted by work, from work. Don't get me wrong. A lot of stuff happens at Chicago Med. Yeah. But yeah, I'm kind of, I'm, I can, I can multitask ish, I guess. Okay. Um, but I just, I just, it's so, it is like the junk food of TV.

[00:24:49] And given we're on quite a high quality camera, you can see that I like junk food. I mean, we have just eaten kebabs. Yeah. Uh, babe, if you're listening to this, I haven't, it was a salad. Um, should we dive into it then? I think so. Let's dive into it. I don't know which way we go now. Because we both. I'll do the first choice. Okay. So you can think a little bit more about. I've got two. I haven't got a third. Okay. You all right, Bowie? God, your dog's weird. So my first choice. Yeah.

[00:25:19] Um, so this is actually the only one of these double bills I have actually seen at the Prince Charles cinema. Okay. Um, because it was such a good double bill is kind of what I now judge them by. I think it was like the perfect two films. So the theme that unites them is, aren't dangerous prisoners funny? Okay. Um, so this is 2008 Bronson. Such a good movie. And 2000's Chopper. Have you ever watched Chopper? I haven't seen Chopper.

[00:25:48] Chopper is so fucked up, but it's so good. Chopper is one of those movies that I used to, it's in the Donnie Darko realm of like that DVD case was everywhere during the like early two thousands. Um, but no, I never got it. Is it who? So fat Eric Banner. Yes. Okay. So Eric Banner put on a piled on a load of weight to play. Yeah. So it's Chopper Reed. Who's like the Australian version of Bronson, apart from the fact he got out of prison at some point. Right.

[00:26:18] Okay. And like it, it, both of them work so well. So I actually went with, um, our friend Lawson, um, who hadn't seen either film, which was quite fun, but that the tonally, tonally they're quite different, but because there's like a through line that they're both quite funny. Yeah. Whether they intend like, well, not whether they intend to be because Chopper is quite a funny guy. Obviously it's brutal in places and the same with Bronson. Yeah. Bronson's obviously quite a fucked up film, but they really bounce off of each other.

[00:26:46] Well, there's a great scene in Chopper where he gets stabbed in the prison yard. Right. And his reaction to it is one of my favorite comedy scenes because he reacts the same way that you would if your son like threw something on the floor. Right. He's just like really disappointed. It's like, what have you done? Like, oh, bleeding everywhere now. It's just, it's such a weird thing.

[00:27:10] And then what was his, um, cause Bronson got banged up for like armed robbery and stuff. Like what, what was, what was Chopper in the big house for? Chopper was in the big house for. I feel like with a name like Chopper, it was probably killing some people. Yeah. I'm not sure if he killed people, but it was definitely like gangstery kind of shit. Right. Okay. Um, so, you know, the old like GBH drugs charges, that kind of thing.

[00:27:38] Um, cause Bronson, I think was, Bronson was done for just like armed robbery. And then he's been in, thanks for repeating what I said two minutes ago. Sorry. Uh, but he's, he's been in, he's been in prison longer. Yeah. He's done in prison because he's ever actually incarcerated for it. Completely institutionalized. Oh, yeah. Absolute insanity. But it's, um. Which is very different to that Jumerico I saw. Yes. I see what? Nice.

[00:28:05] Because, um, they could have gone deeper underground. Yes. Canned heat. Yes. And so ends my Jumericoi knowledge. God, Deep Underground was a great song, wasn't it? It was. Very good video as well. Yeah. That's a, that's a good episode topic of films, which I think is on our scratch pad, of films we forgot were written for film. Songs we forgot were written for films. Yeah. Cause Deep Underground was Godzilla. Godzilla. I believe I can fly. Space Jam. Yeah. Yeah. Gotham City.

[00:28:35] Batman. Nice. Was it Kiss from a Rose? Yes. That was another Batman. Batman Forever. Yeah. Um, but yeah. So it's, uh, two charismatic, deeply violent, real life criminals turned into almost absurd comic figures. Um, which is not the words of me. The words. I was going to say nice chat. Cheap. Google. Okay. Yeah. But I just think it's, yeah, it's these, these two people who've created like such like a weird myth around themselves as well.

[00:29:06] Yeah. Cause Chopper now does like after dinner speaking stuff. Oh really? Which you 100% know Bronson would end up doing if he got out. Yeah. Have you seen the weird, the documentaries about Bronson? I think, was there a Louis Thru one or there's, there was something and there's like the guy that found out his, his son. Yes. Who's like trying to like help him get out of prison, but like may or may not actually be his son. So there was a documentary recently that tied in with him. Oh, he was up being up for parole. Yeah.

[00:29:35] It was like two years ago on Channel 4. Yeah. Really good actually. Yeah. Because it does, you do watch it and it's like regardless of whatever sympathetic, it's like there's no world where he could ever leave prison. No. Even for his own kind of good. So that's Bowie snoring. It's been a while. Apparently he's not a fan. It's been a while. Not a fan. It's been a while, but I still, I can't remember. Higher. Yeah. You're mixing stained with Creed. I know.

[00:30:04] That was it's been a while, right? Stained. I think so. Yeah. God. Anyway, given that. I'm on the outside. I'm looking in. I can see through. Do you want to do the Amy Lee part of broken or shall I? I don't know if I recall it. Cause I'm broken. That's the Amy Lee part. Well, no, that's the stained guys part. Right. No, that wasn't stained. That was Seether. Anyway, your choice.

[00:30:35] My choice. Right. Okay. I forgot to pick beforehand. So you've not had any. No. Texts. And I've not actually had any thoughts. I'm going to go with. Cling it off the dome. Yes. Straight from the sausage quarry. I think. I think there might be a theme to mine. Okay. I like how you're as in the dark about this as we are. Yeah. So I'm going to go with. One of my favorite.

[00:31:05] I'll tell you why. Like, I don't talk about it in this vein a lot, but I still think one of my favorite films of all time, which is Jurassic Park. Bloody love Jurassic Park. Cool. I like it. Which your aunt wouldn't let you watch. Yes. Well, it's not that she wouldn't let me watch. She was basically the. She was the canary in the coal mine as to whether. I don't know if I'm using this analogy right, but she was the. She was the.

[00:31:32] She was doing the recon for my mom because Jurassic Park came out when I was four. Okay. Hike, I need you to be Sigmund Freud psychotherapist. And could you explain the long-term impacts of not letting a child watch Jurassic Park, please? Thank you. Ah, yeah. Come in. The child denied. Jurassic Park develops Vought.

[00:32:01] I call the grand complex. He avoids children at dinner parties. He distrusts all theme parks. And he cannot hold a computer mouse vis out, muttering, it's a Unix system. I know this. Despite never having heard the line, the trauma has leaked in from the culture around. I'm going to say Claude is funnier than ChatGPT. Yeah. No, fair enough. Fair enough. So, yeah, please carry on. Yeah. So, she was basically, my auntie had gone to see it. My mom was like, is it suitable for, because it's a PG. True.

[00:32:30] I was four and my auntie deemed it unsuitable for me to go to see the cinema. So, what you're saying is your mom went to your aunt for some PG tips. Nice. Thanks. Nice. I really like that one. Yeah, because they're little parabens. Yes. It helps the tea circulate more. Yeah, I'm not sure if it does or not, you know. No, I don't think so. But the monkeys told me it did. So, I kind of believe them. Sorry. The band from the 60s.

[00:32:59] Yeah, no, you are right to laugh, because chimpanzees are actually apes. So, I would like to apologize to you, the sleeping dog, and the PG tips chimpanzees. Oh, you're talking, I thought you meant, because the PG chips chimpanzee. PG chips. PG chips. Chip. Okay. So, the PG tips chimpanzees were never in the pyramid era. It was monkey and Johnny Vegas. Oh, fair.

[00:33:26] I thought they bought the chimps back at some point. No, that was wildly unethical. They must have. Because they put, they like smeared peanut butter on the tops of their mouths, so they made it a little while they were talking. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. I'm sure there was a... Yes, you have a deep, you have a deep trust of Johnny Vegas. A deep trust of Johnny Vegas. And a crocheted monkey. He's a mad potter. He is. Yeah. Anyway, you were saying. Yeah. Anyway, she said, no, I didn't get to see it. That's fair. Still haven't got over it. Yeah.

[00:33:55] Or, 34 years later. Okay. So, Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park and Tammy and the T-Rex. Yes. Oh, God. I like that a lot. Because, obviously, big animatronic T-Rexes in both of them. And we have both ends of the spectrum of, yeah. What was it? What was the original? Is it Tanny, wasn't it, for some reason?

[00:34:25] Tanny and the T-Rex was the... So, it was originally Tanny and the Teenage T-Rex. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Which, in some versions of it, the credits start and it calls that the film. It calls that the film. It calls the film that. It calls the film that. Sorry, I'm just very distracted by your dog snoring so loudly. Like, it is adorable, don't get me wrong. It looks very, very content. Yeah, the issue is, I'm the one who edits this podcast.

[00:34:51] I'm just very aware that I'll just be kind of, like, editing out Snoring Dog. That was quite feeble. That was. You can do better than that, mate. Tanny and the Teenage T-Rex. Yeah. Fuck me. What a film. With a German scientist? Yes. Weird sidekick? Who was also German? Yeah. Like, kind of like Frowl from Austin Powers. Yeah, exactly like Frowl from Austin Powers. Yeah. Because you had Paul Walker. Yes.

[00:35:21] Denise Richards. Yes. And an animatronic T-Rex that the director had access to for a month. Which is basically why he wrote and made the film. I mean, I get it. Fair enough. But also, like, did we ever figure out why he, or how he. Was it something like a golf course was getting rid of it or something? Maybe. Or is that an actual auction that I sent you? Very possibly. Yeah. Both of those things could be true.

[00:35:46] But also, like, how does it become available to you for just a month? Do you know what I mean? Like, I feel like. They must be taking it somewhere. Yeah, but if they were, then why was it like, hey, you can have this for a month? Like, I just don't understand the series of events that gets it into your hands for a month. No, but also, I can respect the, like, let's be real. If we got, if anyone listening to this wants to give us a T-Rex for a month. Yeah, fair. Do it.

[00:36:16] We'll figure out something to do with it. Yeah, okay. Maybe that's it. Maybe it was from a podcast in the 90s. Yeah, maybe. Also, and I'm very aware that we're filming this, so I'm kind of going full circle in this. But, like, why are podcasts on Netflix, surely they're not podcasts. It's just a fucking talk show. Yeah, I've never fully understood. We've gone full fucking circle here.

[00:36:45] Podcasts need to be an audio first medium. You can have video if you want. Yeah. But it needs to be audio first. It's no longer a podcast. No. And now you've said that, obviously we're putting this video up on our Patreon, like, in its entirety. Yeah, yeah. Just as a point. Hey, guys. Right now? Yeah. What's up, John? Ray? Ray? Ray is still on there because he got me through to the fantasy playoffs in your league. Nice.

[00:37:13] We've got Dan on there. Yeah. Arnie, who I still need to do the Edge of Tomorrow yoga pose for. To be fair. Did tear my ACL. We've got a camera now. Yeah. Do you want to give it a whirl? There's no whirl where that's happening right now. Tell you what, let me... We need to get a green screen. Yes, we do. Then we could make it happen. Yeah. And it, like, hilariously... Do you really trust me with us having a green screen? We should get a green screen. We should get a green screen.

[00:37:44] I know what I'm getting you for Christmas. I like how the dog woke up a little bit there. Do you want a green screen, Bobby? No. Dinosaurs. Dinosaurs. Yeah, so I just think... It's fun, right? Critically acclaimed. Fantastic. Serious dinosaur movie. Tam and the T-Rex. Is that the order you would go in? Yeah. I think so. And the second one's a mystery. Jurassic Park and... Yeah. Oh, I like it. I like that a lot.

[00:38:14] I do want to watch that new dinosaur film that's out. Is it Ewan McGregor? He's not a dinosaur. He's not a dinosaur, no. But I think he's in the film. I'm not sure. I haven't seen it. It's like The House at the End of Oak Street. Oh. Or The End of Oak Street. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I'm assuming it's The End of Oak Street. I think it's The End of Oak Street. What? Why is it a pun? Because it's... The end meaning the end of the street. But also The End meaning... Well, maybe not a pun. A double entendre, perhaps?

[00:38:45] Well, a double entendre suggests sexual undertones. Hugh McGregor loves that shit. True. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I agree. But it's not obviously a dinosaur movie, right? I think it's quite obviously a dinosaur movie. Well, in the sense that it's not like... In the fact that there's dinosaurs in it. Yeah, but it's obviously set on a street. Okay. Which dinosaurs famously don't have. Huh? Tammy and the T-Rex has streets.

[00:39:15] But it's not a real dinosaur. No, true. It's Paul Walker's brain in an animatronic T-Rex. I can't remember because it's been a while since I watched it. And I think as like a form of protection, my brain has blocked a lot of it out. Yeah. Is it an animatronic T-Rex in the film? Have they put his brain into like a robot T-Rex? I'm pretty sure, yes. Or is it supposed to be an actual T-Rex? I think it's meant to be a robot T-Rex. God, I like this idea a lot. But yeah. Yeah, so that's the choice.

[00:39:44] Great, great movie. Good, bad movie. Dinosaurs. Dinosaurs. My next choice. Yeah. And this is being picked because they both have exactly the same plot. That is, an outsider investigates a seemingly idyllic community whose residents share a sinister secret.

[00:40:06] So this is, I'm not sure which way around to do them, but this is 2007's Hot Fuzz and 1973's The Wicker Man. Nice. Because they are basically the same film. Yeah. With Les Wicker Man. Les Wicker Man. Similar, odd, close-knit village. Yeah. One with substantially more steeples through heads. Yes. And dead. Actually, no, not dead.

[00:40:34] Because the whole joke is the living statue's just been put underground. Yeah. Yeah. God, I hope I've got a film. I did not appreciate how funny Hot Fuzz was the first time I watched it. No, I think there was an element of like not feeling that it was quite as good as Shaun of the Dead. Mm-hmm. Um, I've still, I still haven't seen The World's End. Is this all right? Yeah, but that's why I've not gone to see it. Or made the effort. Yeah.

[00:40:56] It's, it is worth watching, but it's distinctly not as, because also like when Hot Fuzz reaches its denouement, I think that's the word. When it reaches its end. Yeah. Of Oak Street. Yeah, the end of Oak Street. The end of Oak Street, a Hot Fuzz. Um, it's just a flat out great action film. Yeah, yeah. Because it is such a spot on parody of all of those tropes that it's legitimately brilliant. Yeah. Agreed.

[00:41:24] Um, and it was also kind of like, I think the beginning of like the Timothy Dalton Renaissance. Hmm. Because he's been in a lot of stuff since then. I've got a lot of time for him. Yeah. I mean, and they're casting the next James Bond. Could be Timothy Dalton again. We don't know. Could be him. Um, but he was in, um, Doom Patrol and I've got an awful lot of time for Doom Patrol. Um, I'm saying an awful lot of time for, maybe I'm just thinking of dinosaurs again. Possibly.

[00:41:50] But yeah, so Hot Fuzz, Wicker Man kind of follow very similar paths. Yeah. Um, and I just think it'd be very funny to watch both of those back to back. Um. Yeah. I, I, the first one as in like the first Wicker Man is phenomenally creepy. Oh, it's nuts. Like, cause the problem, I, I didn't watch the Wicker Man until like, given how we single-handedly fly the flag for folk horror. Mm-hmm.

[00:42:18] I didn't watch it until like weirdly recently. Yeah. I think I probably saw it maybe, I don't know, five, six years ago, something like that. But it's, it also hot, like, it's that, it, it just holds up really well, even though it is clearly quite dated. But that's, that's the problem with kind of horror from like the, like maybe seventies and before. Yeah.

[00:42:43] Is sometimes they, like, you'll hear all of the stuff about how like, oh, didn't sleep for weeks afterwards. Like the church had to step in and get the film back. Like you hear stuff like that, then you watch it and it would just be like a 12A now. So like, I, I did go in a little bit of like, well, is it going to be as good as. But I think that's part of it, right? Is because it's not reliant on gore and things like that. It is just quite unsettling. Yeah. I think that's kind of what.

[00:43:12] That's very, very unsettling. Edward Woodward. Yes. Edward Woodward. Christopher Lee. Fuck, man. I haven't watched enough Christopher Lee films. I really should watch more. I'm also surprised they haven't just done a biopic of him because his life sounds insane. Yeah. I feel like it's, it's got to be coming at some point. I mean, I've, I've probably listened to more metal albums of Christopher Lee's than I've seen of movies of his. Yeah. True. So Christopher Lee and Brian Blessed, given that I, I did take a picture of a screenshot

[00:43:40] of Brian Blessed's Wikipedia biopic earlier today, meaning to forward to you and then completely forgot to. Right. Because the man is nuts. Hang on. Let's see if I can, I can bring it up. He, actually, I tell a lie, Christopher Lee, because I have seen the Lord of the Rings movies. So that, but that brings the average up, I'd say. He was in The Man with the Golden Gun as well. Mm-hmm. Haven't seen that. Don't really like James Bond. We've had this discussion before. Yeah. So, real quote. Brian Blessed has reached the summits of Acunacacqua in Argentina.

[00:44:11] Kilimanjaro in Tanzania and has undertaken an expedition into the jungles of Venezuela, during which he survived a plane crash. He is the oldest man to have reached the North Magnetic Pole on foot, where he says he punched a polar bear in the nose. In 1963, Brian Blessed, then in his late 20s, assisted a mother giving birth in Richmond Park. He delivered the healthy baby girl the bit through the umbilical cord. He later recounted, I was covered in blood. My shirt was covered in blood. I was wrapping her, wiping her, saying, it's all right, darling. And I was licking the baby's face. Brian Blessed.

[00:44:39] I listened to that on Richard Herring's podcast that he came up with that one, I think. Yeah, because we listened to that on the way back from Snowden, because I think I was basically paraphrasing the whole episode to everyone. And we had like nine hours to get back from Snowden as well. Two hours of which was just in standstill traffic. Yeah. Ah, classic. But yeah. Good old North Wales. I think these work, because I think it would be interesting to see kind of like the parallels

[00:45:08] of the two films. There were another two I was going to do. Okay. But I don't want to say them, because I don't know what your choices are. And they reek of a film choice you might make. Okay. Interesting. But yeah. Similar themes. Very, very different films. And I think it would be great to, but, and also I kind of want to see the Wicca Man in cinema, to be honest. Yeah. I'd love to see the Wicca Man. Yeah. If you had to be burnt alive in an effigy of something made of Wicca. Yeah. What would it be?

[00:45:38] Moth Babies. Moth Babies. Nice. Well, I, similar vein. Yeah. The Wicca Alexander Skarsgård. Nice. Nice. It's a giant Wicca Alexander Skarsgård. And this is going to sound, it's going to be offensive one way or another, but do you think you'd fit inside Alexander Skarsgård? You know what? I, I think he would go to great efforts to make sure I enjoyed myself. He just seems like that kind of man. Yeah. What a guy. What a guy. What a guy.

[00:46:09] My choice is, um, what am I going to do? I'm going to go with, right. I'm going to go with another GoodBow movie. In fact, the GoodBow movie. Okay. The Room. Yeah. And The Disaster Artist. Oh, nice. Because this is a double bill I have done, um, because it does go so perfectly from watching

[00:46:34] the insanity of The Room to kind of a little bit understanding the insanity of The Room. Yeah. Yeah. And the whole man, the myth, the legend, the walking waxwork himself, Tommy Wiseau. Disaster Artist is such a good film. It's really well done, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah.

[00:46:53] I remember I, I've, well, famously took a second date once to see The Room at the Prince Charles, which is still one of the funniest moves I've done. I never went, uh, on a subsequent date, but not because of that. I just, we just went, didn't click or whatever. But I remember she like, she must've texted me out of the blue maybe three or four months afterwards. Yeah.

[00:47:20] And she was like, I've just taken my other friend to go see The Room at the Prince Charles because it's amazing. So there was, um, it, it was, it was the right decision, wrong girl. Oh, I like it. There were, um, so there, there, there are two comedians who would have been perfect guests for this podcast, but we left it too late to bring them on. Uh, one of them. Oh, it's your washing machine jingle again.

[00:47:52] So now you actually need to make a washing machine jingle. Yeah. Well, it's already done for me, right? Um, anyway, Brett Goldstein. Yeah. Does an incredible standup bit about taking a date to go and watch Irreversible. Oh, really? It is very, very funny. And it's also funny seeing him do standup to quite an empty room at the top of like the Lexington in Angel. And now he's, um, a huge Emmy winning name who I'm fairly sure is dating JLo. Really? Yeah.

[00:48:21] Fair play Brett. Yeah. Fair play Brett. You and your weird little voice. Back when we started the podcast, he was just that comedian with a film podcast. Yeah. Ah. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't have been able to do a podcast with his voice, man. I fucking love Rick Goldstein. I don't dislike the guy. I just can't stand his voice. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me. Which I do find interesting. Really? Yeah. We've already, I think we've already driven the asking Claude like it's Sigmund Freud bit into the ground, but know that I will be asking it later. Okay.

[00:48:51] Um, so for a brief minute, I was worried you were going to pick the room and room just for like shits, shits and gigs. There's not too many shits and gigs to be had in room. No, not really. Um, I do like the, uh, I do like the, it's bleak. It's the room and the room and room double bill would be very similar to how bowling for soup just covered Stacy's mom. Yeah. Yeah. Because every time I see, we go, oh, me and Graham are going to watch the room. It's like, you're watching room.

[00:49:21] Why are they doing like a midnight screening of room? Which isn't the weirdest thing people think we do together. Again, I walked into a house carrying a tripod today. Um, yes. Yeah. No, I, yeah. The room in disaster artists is a very, very good shower. Yeah. Um, and it does, do you know what I mean? Cause like if you go to see the room with zero context, it is baffling. Yeah.

[00:49:49] And so I feel like, yeah, to be fair, but I feel like the, it's the perfect accoutrement, shall we say? Um, and, um, yeah. And it's just very, very good. I mean, yeah, that as well. Have you read the book? I haven't. No. I have a signed copy of the book that I didn't realize was signed until I started reading it. It's, um, Greg Sostero. Greg Sostero. Friend of the pod. Yes. Friend of the pod. Who asked you to be my best man.

[00:50:22] Um, I've got, well, I think we both have. I've got a signed copy of the room script somewhere, which I don't know where it is. It's on my, uh, living room shelf. Pride of place. Uh, again, that, that, that script for me, falls into a category of, there's a couple of things I'd love us to do as a podcast. Yeah. But would take so much effort. I want to do a read. Oh yeah. I'm not doing it until we have like a proper patron following. Yeah.

[00:50:48] Cause the other one is I really want to pirate like, uh, D and D podcast. Okay. Because that could be really funny, but it will take ages to edit. And I'm not doing that unless we like double what we've got now. Yeah. Fair enough. Um, yeah. I mean, to the, the high double, the, sorry, the low double figures. Yeah. Into the dozens. Into the dozens. Um, but yeah. So anyway, that's, that's my choice. It's good choice. You like it. I like it. Onto yours. Nice.

[00:51:20] So I actually came up with the theme of this first. Okay. Actually, I didn't come up with the theme. I thought we haven't talked about twin town in a while. Okay. Because I really liked the film twin town. And I thought, Oh, what would that be a good double bill with? And I was thinking about, Oh, you could do like twin town and trained spotting. But then I realized we went on a podcast and I actively said that is a lazy comparison. Yeah. So I didn't think we could do that. But then I remembered, I believe on that same podcast, I then talked about how these two films

[00:51:50] would be a really, really good double bill. Okay. So this was on the just films in that podcast. And the thing that connects these is Wales is weird. So this is the incredible Ballad of Wallace Island and Brian and Charles. I mean, again, listen to the just films in that podcast where we talk about the Ballad of Wallace Island for half an hour. And I think the three of us all end up nearly at some point. Yeah.

[00:52:16] I do talk on that about how I'd rewatched it and forgot that I had a meeting I had to go to and I had to pause it just after like one of the big proper like emotions. And it was just like, I've never been that close to just breaking down in a business setting before. Yeah. But both of these work because they obviously it's like a very, very, I guess it's just like both of them are just wonderfully odd films about weird, lonely, awkward men in isolated

[00:52:46] parts of Wales. Yeah. Yeah. Like both of them are eccentric, but you're never laughing at them. And I just think tonally you could believe that they were filmed by exactly the same group of people. Could you imagine if what's I can't remember the Tim Key's character in Ballad of Wallace Island's name? But if him and Brian change places, right?

[00:53:13] So Brian wins the lottery twice. Think of the Charles he could build with double lottery money. You OK? You look confused. Yeah. Give me one minute. So I'm not going to lie. I very quickly pulled out. Excuse me. Yeah. OK. Right. Tim Key's name in the Ballad of Wallace Island is Charles. Oh, really? Yeah. OK. I was just looking at my notes.

[00:53:42] It's like, I must have written that wrong. OK. So. So if we swap Brian and Charles, but not that Brian and Charles. The other Brian and Charles. So it'll be Charles and Charles. Charles and Charles. Charles in charge. Of our days and our nights. Charles in charge. Never seen an episode of that. Of our wrongs and our rights. That's a very niche episode of things we learned from Scrubs. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. That and the. Never trust Elizabeth Banks. And the Sanford and Son.

[00:54:12] Yes. And Delirious Love. That's Neil Diamond's song. Yeah. Pretty soon we were making it serious. What is it with us when we're filming together with a singing deck? Is it because we're holding microphones? Possibly. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, if you if you switch Brian and Charles, but on that Brian Charles, the lead Brian Charles is. So Charles. No. So Brian. You've thrown your. Your. Right. So Brian.

[00:54:42] Brian is on the Wallace Island. Yeah. With double lottery money. Yes. And he's going to. Yeah. One of the funniest scenes ever committed to film. Phenomenal. I don't know why we're getting higher. Yeah. We're about to Eiffel Tower Bowie. The. Yeah. Like. So you think of what. Think of what Charles could be with double lottery money.

[00:55:12] Like he could have built something. I mean, it would at least have been like a. I don't know. A Samsung. Washing machine. So just. Just like. Yeah. Like a high end. Charles. Charles. Patrowski. Yeah. Would have Bluetooth connectivity is what we're saying. Yeah. He'd be part of the Internet of Things. I like it. I like it a lot. And then. Charles. Would be. Quite sad. Because he couldn't get the band back together.

[00:55:42] Yeah. Just wondering like. Oh, I wonder if I could have had. If I had the money to do this. Yeah. But then also that would become. That would become him making a. Would you think. Because without. That's too many Charleses. There is. Without Charles Petrescu. Yeah. The film which would just be called Charles. Brackets. Not that Charles. Yeah. Would just be him in a Welsh town. Being sad that his wife's dead. Yeah. Pretty much. Which is a very. Very different. Probably a lot less funny film. Yeah.

[00:56:13] That's more. Or that's why he tries to make a robot. Which is again. A little bit more. Yeah. Depressing. I can't think of the. Director's name. Kez. And. I. Daniel Blake. Oh. Fuck. It feels more that. Yeah. I. Charles. I. Charles. Um. Yeah. Anyway. On to light. Ken Loach. Ken Loach. Yes. God. Fuck. Ken Loach. Charles. But not that Charles. Um. But yeah. The Ballad of Wallace Island.

[00:56:43] The Brian and Charles. Are. The perfect. Like. That for me. Is what. Like. British humour is now. Mm-hmm. Um. I think both of them. Are. Tim Key feels like he's getting his. Moment in the sun. His dues. Which is good. But like. Tim Key. And then. Um. David Earl. I think are two of the. Weirdly funniest people. Um. We've produced in a long time. Yeah. The only problem with David Earl. Is his. Like.

[00:57:13] Is his. Is his. Is his money. Yeah. Like that. Ali cats thing. Was. The. The shittest thing. I haven't even watched it. I've just watched the. Trailer. Because. To see how shit. And it is. It is. Unbelievably shit. Yeah. I have no desire. To. Watch any of that. At all. Yeah. Did judge him a little bit. Is. Chatterbix thing. Is quite good. Yes. Friend of the podcast Petros. Had to defend us. Chatterbox. Chatter. Bix's.

[00:57:44] Uh. Patreon page. Oh yeah. I remember. What was the. Uh. I think someone shared. A clip of us. Yeah. Saying like. Like. Basically that we were ripping them off. And I think. Friend of the podcast. Uh. Podcast Petros. Who I think has a jingle. We haven't used for a while. Nice. There we go. His name. His name is Petros. Petros. And Petros.

[00:58:15] Petros makes podcasts. Predominantly about Nicolas Cage. Or Willem Dafoe. But I think he's also guessed on some other things. And you know he's probably got some other. Very interesting ideas. That aren't necessarily actor based. But he's the ship. Thank you. Thank you very much. We're here all week. Um. Step in was like. Do you just mean that they're bearded men? It's like. Yeah.

[00:58:44] I don't think this is quite the. Gotcha. That you thought it was. Who was the other? David Earl. So Joe Wilkinson. Joe Wilkinson. Oh yes. Yeah. Yeah. My dad's obsessed with that podcast. Thanks dad. I also think. We've been going longer as well. Haven't we? Don't think so. They've been going for a weird amount of time. Uh. The one. Uh. We had someone. Leave us a Saki message. Then delete it. Was that we'd ripped off the artwork. Of the Always Sunny podcast. Oh okay. And we'd been going twice as long. As that podcast ran for. In its entirety.

[00:59:14] So it's a proper like. Nah. I don't think we have mate. No. Um. Yeah. I like it. I think. Um. Yeah. I've got a lot. A lot. A lot of time for Tim Key. I think David Earl is funny. But. I just. You know. You've got enough cash now. Don't. Don't make more. Shit like Allie Cats. Yeah. I mean that's a good. Moral to live by. Isn't it? Yeah. I'd be a hypocrite and take it. Yes. To be fair.

[00:59:44] I would take. A hundred percent. Yeah. Um. But also we didn't make Brian and Charles. So. I feel like. That's a. A shame. Really? No. We made. Charles. Charles. Brackets. But not that Charles. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah. These are two of my favourite films. I think. They would go really really well together. And I also think you would leave the cinema feeling quite like. It's just nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. Your final choice. My final choice. So I've gone with. Um.

[01:00:13] Don't say that like you knew. What this was going to be. I've gone with two T-Rexes. Yeah. I've gone with. Two movies. That kind of are the same thing. But from different angles. Ish. Early. Or one. It's quite a meta choice that one right. Because it's one movie about the other movie. Yeah. Which that doesn't happen too often. Last choice is. Based on an actor. So it's an actor double bill. Very different. But actor double bill. And I want to. Look at the range.

[01:00:42] That that actor has. So this double bill is. Darkest hour and tiptoes. First time I ever watched tiptoes. Was part of a double bill. Was it? Yeah. With? The room. Okay. Nice. Because me and my housemate. Had to stay up to watch the Game of Thrones finale. Which aired at two in the morning. That was obvious. The obvious. Yeah. What was it called? I found. I lose bouche. Yeah. Found out that they hadn't watched.

[01:01:13] The room. So we watched that. And then I was like. Well what else can we watch? It's like. Well Peter Dinklage. We're about to watch him in something. Fair. I've heard this film exists. And then we discovered it on YouTube in its entirety. Always. Always a good sign. Always a good sign. Never actually seen Darkest Hour. But. Gary Oldman's great in me. Yeah. Credit to the lad. Yeah. Oscar winning Gary Oldman. Oscar winning Gary Oldman. Is actually very good. Yeah.

[01:01:42] But he is. Insane. In the sense that. Gary Oldman. As a. I can't remember who you were talking about earlier. That you said that it's basically the same in every movie. It wasn't a pod conversation. It was a conversation we were having separately. I can't remember. Anyway. Gary Oldman is the antithesis of that. Because he is very like. You could see him in a number of different films. And not even realise it's the same person. And I think Darkest Hour is one of the like. Extremes of that. Because he got quite fat to be Winston Churchill. Yeah. There was. Prosthetics. There was.

[01:02:12] Prosthetics as well. Yeah. It was. I mean. Everything. He will. There are films which I will forget Gary Oldman's in. Because he's. Gone so deep into the character. Yeah. Which is nuts. Not in the like. Wanky Daniel Day-Lewis way either. Exactly. True Romance. Yeah. Well obviously Leon. Very good in Leon. Fifth Element. Fifth Element. Um. He played Sid Vicious. Are you really? Yeah. I think it was Sid and Nancy. Yeah. Do you want to.

[01:02:41] Do you want to recount us as to what you said about Sid Vicious the other day? Probably not. I can't remember exactly what I said. But I remember the. Uh. The intent behind it. Yeah. And probably not worth sharing. Okay. Fair enough. Um. Hello. Um. Just to be clear. Greg was talking to the dog. Yeah. My wife at uni had. Uh. Two bearded dragons called Sid and Nancy. Oh wow. Yeah. Um. Look. Coincidence?

[01:03:11] No. I think they were named after. Okay. I was going to make a joke. I'm not going to. Um. Proud of you man. Where was I saying? Yes. So. Gary Oldman. Um. Yeah. I just feel that these are the. These are either ends of the old Oldman spectrum. Yes. Yeah. I. Would. You get the full gamut of Oldman. Yeah. Tiptoes. And Oscar winning film. Yeah. Uh. Still nuts. That was his first Oscar.

[01:03:41] Ralph. And Winston Churchill. Yeah. One of the nation's most charismatic leaders. And Winston Churchill. Yeah. I'll switch a row there. Yeah. It doesn't quite work. Because no one's ever called Ralph. But I guess he is. He scores. Kate Beckinsale. I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Who has a thing for pantomime horses. Yes. Yeah. Huh. I. I. I. We've spoken about a lot. But I absolutely love. Like. Slow horses. Which are not pantomime. Yeah. Um. Such a. Such a good show.

[01:04:11] And. Gary Oldman is. Phenomenal in it. And I. Whenever I watch it. I was like. Who. But you also did do tiptoes. Didn't you. Yeah. It's. There were very few actors. That could come back from that. Although saying that. Matthew McConaughey. Is also. I know he didn't do that. He didn't do the full like. Sat inside a sofa. Yeah.

[01:04:39] Matthew McConaughey was in a bad film. Yeah. Yeah. He wasn't. Yeah. Playing a dwarf in a bad film. Fair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because I was just. And Kate Beckinsale has done all right for herself. As it's been. Weirdly. There's a lot of success. Patricia Arquette. Has not done. You know. She's not. Done too badly either. Was she Oscar winning by that time? Possibly. Well. I've spoken about this a lot. When we. When we were talking about the movie. But like. A lot of the actors that were in it. Jesus Christ. Right. Okay. So. Like.

[01:05:09] Down on their luck at the time. No. So tiptoes. Looking back on it. Has three Oscar winners in. Yeah. An Emmy winner in Dinklage. Sure. Dinklage has definitely won an Emmy. Might even have a Golden Globe. Yeah. I'm assuming Bridget the Midget. Was won some kind of adult entertainment award somewhere. And then Kate Beckinsale. Probably. He's got like an MTV. Oh yeah. Should have one of those. Singing or something. One of those. Moon Man. Wildly. Successful cast. Yeah.

[01:05:38] That film. I do love it so much. Oh yeah. Well again. I've seen it like five fucking times. Oh. What a movie. But yeah. I just feel like. It just. I just like the idea of having that. That range of old men. Yeah. The range of old men. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe similar to Jurassic Park. Tiptoes as a surprise afterwards. I mean. That would be.

[01:06:06] I would pay good money just to see people's reaction. Yeah. Because Darkest Hour. You would have everyone like. Okay. What's it going to be like. Like the King's Speech. Yeah. Would be quite a good double bill. With. Darkest Hour. Obviously it's the. Same time period. Same thing. I think there might be a Winston Churchill in King's Speech. I don't know. Um. There's a lot of films that would make sense to double bill that with. Yeah. Which I think people would assume you would do. In Glorious Bastards. Churchill's in that. Yeah. True. Um.

[01:06:37] Yeah. And then just. Don't start playing. You could do like Frost Nixings. It's another like. Big like. Political biopic. Mm. Yeah. Um. But yeah. No. Tiptoes. Fuck. That's a great shout. To be fair. This is a. Actually. Let's just segue to the end. Yeah. Just. So. And those were our choices. They were. Um. We'll do the top threes of our three in a minute. Okay. This. This could be the hardest one we've done to whittle down.

[01:07:06] It could be. I would happily. Put the podcast name to any of these double bills. Like. It is. It is actually insane. But. Out of your choices. Yeah. Graham. What are. What are. The top three of your three. Just jingle. What is. The top three. Of your three. Three. Two.

[01:07:35] So I think number one does have to be the room and the disaster artist. Just because it is the tech. Technically. The best double bill. Um. Then with the other two. It's very very difficult. I'm gonna go. The full old man. Number two. Maybe my love of tiptoes is. Is. Um. My tiptoes. You have gone. You have gone. Three good bad movies. I do like that. And then. Jurassic Park and Tammy and T-Rex. I stand by as a good choice. But. I just.

[01:08:06] Think that. Yeah. Because what you do. Is you sell the second one. As the Gary. As a Gary Oldman double bill. And the range of fantastic movies. That that. Could encompass. You can. Um. You. You need to call it. Like. It would be like. Celebrating the roles of a lifetime. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly that. Oh. God. That would. I mean. Fair play. Fair play then. Um. Out of my choices. Yeah.

[01:08:36] I think I'm going. Out of Wallace Highland. And Brian and Charles first. Yeah. I do like that. I'd actually. I'd. I'd happily go and do that now. Yeah. Exactly. Um. Then it's very close. Between the other two. Yeah. I might. Do Hot Fuzz. And Wicker Man 2. Just because I've seen. Bronson and Chopper. But Bronson and Chopper. Really does work. Thematically. Hmm. Um. So I might lock it in as that. But with the knowledge. That is kind of more like.

[01:09:06] A one choice. And then like a joint two. Okay. Um. Combined choices. Combined choices. So fully agree. The ones are in. Yeah. The ones are in. The Room and the Disaster Artist. And then Battle of Wallace Island. And Brian and Charles. Before we decide which of those goes first. And which goes second. Yeah. Or third. Who knows. What's the other one that's entering into it? It's got to be the Phil Oldman. Does it though? Yes. I mean it kind of does. Does it? Like I. I want that choice. Just again. To watch people's reaction.

[01:09:36] To tiptoe starting. Yeah. Um. Because also the other way you could describe it. Is you're going to go. Um. We've got. Obviously we're going to open this with a. You know. A Gary Oldman feature film. And then we're going to do a Gary Oldman short. Yep. That's fair. That's third. That's it at three. That beats any. Any joke I could do for the other ones. Um. But again. Like. Caveat here. Is. I would happily do any of these. I'd watch all of them. For sure. I think we could just. We could get Bowie to pick.

[01:10:05] A random three of these. And I would still be happy with it. You get him to be like that. Corgi. That they throw the balls at. Yeah. To pick the NFL team that's going to win. Yeah. That octopus. Who picked the World Cup winner a load of times. Yeah. He's long. He's calamari by now. Yeah. That's great. They don't live very long. Octopi. No. Hmm. Octopuses. Octopi is wrong. Everyone says octopi. But it's incorrect. It's octopuses. But yeah. They only live like. Two years I think. Oh really? Yeah. I didn't realize it was that short. Really. Short lifespans. Tasty.

[01:10:35] Tasty bastards. Something like. There's something like. They could be immortal. Oh. That's it. That's jelly. No. The minute. The minute an octopus has sex. It starts to die. Don't we all. That's a weird thing for you to say. That doesn't make sense. So as soon as an octopus. Because they're basically set up for like the continuation of the species.

[01:11:01] And I think it's something like they're like immortal until the point they have sex or some. Something like that. Can a virgin. Hey. Hey Claude. Could you just let me know. I think there's a fact around octopuses that they're basically immortal until they procreate for the first time. And then it starts their kind of slow swim towards death. Is that correct?

[01:11:30] Or am I misremembering? You're half right Graham. Octopuses do breed once and then die. But they're not immortal beforehand. Most species only live a year or two anyway. The part you're remembering is real though. After mating, a gland behind the eyes called the optic gland triggers a rapid decline. The female stops eating while she guards her eggs and basically wastes away. In experiments where scientists remove that gland, mothers abandoned their eggs, started eating again and lived for months longer.

[01:11:58] So it's less immortal until sex and more that reproduction flips a self-destruct switch. That's depressing. I told you. Yeah. I mean, that was a very confident response to something where it just said you're wrong. Well, it said I was mostly correct, I think. Yeah. But when your statement. How is your relationship with your mother? The octopus. No, but when your statement was they're immortal unless they fuck.

[01:12:26] And the truth is they die when they. Those are two very different things. Yeah, but similar. True. True. I'll give you that. Basically, there is a rapid, after they have sex, there's a rapid decline because of this gland that switches off or on and has a rapid decline towards death. Yeah, that's less ideal. Yeah. My octopus teacher didn't cover that, which is wild because he 100% fucked the octopus. And I think he just wanted to. He definitely wanted to fuck the octopus.

[01:12:56] Yeah. I felt deeply uncomfortable watching that film. Yeah. Yeah. He, he was. An octopus fucker. Alleged. Alleged. Yeah, yeah. No, I was going to say he was. It's a very niche reference, though. It's a subset of people that listen to this that went to our school and know who this person is. But like, it's kind of a bit ****. We can't keep that in.

[01:13:26] Actually, you know what? I'll beep it out. Yeah, yeah. That's fine. I'll beep it out. But I'll also leave this in saying that's not the name we usually beep out. No, it's not. This is a new name. Yeah. Because usually we beep out **** now. Yeah. But this isn't ****. But I like that you're obviously having to beep all of those. Exactly. I'm doing this for comic effect. Nice. Oh. Dog's done. Yeah. Enough of us bad-mouthing people. I will not be part of this.

[01:13:54] The official, the podcast, No B-Arts Force, top three, double bills. I don't know if you could hear that noise in the background. That is Bowie drinking water. At number three. Actually, we didn't decide number one, did we? I think Brian and Charles is just because they're two phenomenal movies. Yeah. I think it does work. Right. So, the official, the podcast, No B-Arts Force, top three, double bills. At number three, we have The Darkest Hour and Tiptoes. At number two, we have The Room and the Disaster Artist.

[01:14:23] And number one, we have The Ballad of Wallace Island and Brian and Charles. If you agree with our choices, if you disagree with our choices, if you work for the Prince Charles Cinema and you'll happily let us put one of these on, you can find us on Instagram, Threads, Blue Sky, and all of the non-fascist social media networks at the podcast I've been asked for. You can indeed. And if you would like to throw some money our way into our Patreon coffers so that we can

[01:14:52] continue providing such high-quality content such as these. Sorry, just give me one moment, Graham. Bowie, please stop drinking so loudly. Mate, we've been recording for an hour and 20 minutes. Now's not the time. You were so good. Like, it doesn't even look like you're drinking the water. It just looks like you're being a nuisance. Well, there is.

[01:15:20] I mean, it should be not picked up, right? In theory? It shouldn't be picked up. Yeah. But I am now recording this on my phone. Okay. And he stops. He stops now. Yeah. Fucking prick. Patreon. For more stuff like this, if you want to see us on a couch, if you want to get all of the extra content, pirated episodes,

[01:15:51] undrafted episodes, people behind the curtains, and we'll give you first dibs on live tickets because we've done two of those shows and it sounded like the guy was, he was trying to tell us we'd be up lit next year when we do it. So it sounds like we're in for at least, at least completing the hat trick. We're at least going to get to, yeah, Empire. No, not Empire. Return of the Jedi. God, I mean, not now. We've got one of the big films wrong. Shit. But yes, yes.

[01:16:21] And wherever you're listening to this, please leave a review. Put any future episodes you have in it and just tell your friends to listen to us because word of mouth is, well, cheap. It is cheap. So that's that. That's an episode recorded in person. Yeah. With a fancy camera. Let's hope it all works. Let's hope it all works. Are you coming back, Bowie? Nope. He's just walking past. He's just judging me.

[01:16:56] No one asked for this. This podcast is part of Podomity, the UK's podcast comedy network. Why not laugh at what else we've got? Visit Podomity.com.