Time for...Healing Yourself (featuring Amy A O'Day)

[00:00:00] This podcast was highly commended at the 2026 Golden Lobes Podcast Awards. Nice! Hi, Susie and Esther here. We've hijacked the start of our own show to tell you how you can get even more involved with Limited Time Only. If you enjoy the podcast and you want to support us, you can become a patron. Go to patreon.com, search for Limited Time Only and boom! For £5 a month, you can get early access to chats, sketches and guests,

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[00:00:57] I'm Esther. And I'm Susie. Limited Time Only is the podcast for anyone who feels there aren't enough hours in their life. And each week, there's a different topic for you to get your ears around. Featuring chat, comedy sketches and interviews with interesting people. Limited Time Only is a pick-me-up in podcast form. The special guest later in the episode is Amy Aode. This week, it's time for Healing Yourself.

[00:01:26] When I get that feeling, I want self-healing. Self-healing. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Let's heal us tonight. Come on, come on, come on. Let's heal us tonight. On the old ticky-tock, you're not allowed to say sexual. So it will come up with subtitles that say

[00:01:52] seg-sual. So S-E-double-G-S-U-A-L. There will be a generation of people who think that's how you spell segs. Oh God. Would you like to have segs? Hi, segs. Would you like to have segs? No. No. Anyway, back to self-healing. Yes. We've done the sexual healing of the sexual healing.

[00:02:20] How do you know yourself, Suze? How do you take care of yourself? Well, I think I'm getting a bit better at it. I'm getting better at acknowledging, recognising when I need to stop. Just stop. And I need a rest. I think the main thing for me is sleep. And I used to push through being tired. And sometimes you have to, don't you?

[00:02:48] You can't just go to bed at work. Bye, guys. Although actually saying that, when I have often had a nap at work in different places. I used to, I mean, since being quite young, like 21, lunchtimes, go up to the seventh floor of this massive high-rise financial building that I used to work in,

[00:03:17] and go to sleep in a shower room on the floor. So uncomfortable. But I'd have a nap. When I was a tour guide, I used to go to sleep in the BBC, in some of the BBC dressing rooms, because you had a key to everything. Or in the, a good place, although it was a bit spooky, was the children's, the CITV bit. Not CITV. Why would there be CITV at the BBC Television Centre? Well, the ITV is at the BBC. Who knows? It is now. The CBBC area,

[00:03:46] which had quite soft cushions and stuff, and I used to go and sleep in there, which was a bit weird, because they were like mini Dick and Dom characters, and a bit horrible histories and stuff. It was a bit spooky. But it was dark, and it was soft. Yes. And that's what I like. You've told me so many times, when you've been at the Arches, you'll be, I'm absolutely knackered. Oh, yeah. I'm just going for a 10-minute power nap, I think. Yeah, and I go in the green, isn't it? Can you do that yourself? I mean, I'm Molly and calls me the door mouse, but I am a napper.

[00:04:15] But you just seem to be able to be military, almost like it's a military operation. You go, I'm going for a nap. 10 minutes, done. Back up, out. Well, you know, I will sometimes have a three-minute nap. Now, I'm not saying I go to sleep in that time. I mean, it's highly unlikely. But even if I've got three minutes, I'll set my phone. Say I've got to go and pick the kids up from school, and it's literally, I don't know, 3.15. I've got to leave at 3.20.

[00:04:43] I will set my alarm and I will just lie there. And just the act of being still. Yes. And completely relaxed and with my eyes shut. And it does give me a little bit of extra juice. Sometimes I do that as well. Anyway. But yeah, power napping. It's very rejuvenating in itself, yeah. It can, it can. Let's not talk. We're back to sexual healing.

[00:05:13] Sexual. Sexual. Sexual. But sleep. I think that's, for me, acknowledging, look, you're tired. Just don't, just stop. Just don't push it. Push on through. I mean, I cannot now believe that I used to be up till one, two in the morning editing the podcast. I mean, I am, I am in my, I'm ready for bed at half as nine. You are of different, you're different to me. So you will, you, you, if I'm editing the podcast and I will clear my day

[00:05:43] and do it through the day so I can rest in the evening. Whereas if I speak to you and you go, yeah, I've been for coffee with a friend and I'm going to do this and I'm going to do that. Then the kids will be in bed by about half nine and then I'm going to edit and I'm like, oh my God, I can't, I can't, I can't. But I think that was. I like that so much that way you don't do it. No, no. I think I'm, I don't know what's up. I'm just older. But, but I think it's, it was a case of that's when I can have clarity. Yes. Yeah. Because there's nobody asking for my time.

[00:06:11] And, and going for a coffee with a friend is as important in a way. Because that also, that's one of my ways of self-healing is actually making sure I see people. And seeing them in, you know, physically in front of my eyes. I'm seeing you now. This is good. Part of my self-healing is doing this podcast. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, yeah. It is weird, isn't it? Because I can't imagine it. I actually tried, I had a 12 minute nap earlier.

[00:06:41] It's not a nap, I didn't go to sleep. But sometimes I will fall asleep in 20 minutes. It's just like a reset. I'm going to not look at my phone. I'm going to set the timer and I'm going to lie here. And if I nap, I nap. And if I don't, I totally get that. Yeah. I totally get that. Yeah. I'm sure when my kids were at school, I would sometimes do that. And I would set a time, like set the alarm to ensure that if I fell asleep. Sometimes I'd do it in the garden in the summer. I seem to remember I'd have been working and I think I've got half an hour before I need

[00:07:08] to leave and I'd just lie on the grass and close my eyes and set a timer. So I do remember doing things like that. Yeah. But I'm like you. Well, I know we've talked about this before. I've got sort of energy that's up here or then I suddenly hit a wall and that definitely happened. I think it's probably to do with hormones as well. But there was a day last week when suddenly I just got to a bit and I thought, I'm done.

[00:07:37] I can't do anything else. I need to step away from everything and I need to sleep. And then I can sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and recharge or have a bath. I like to go and get in the bath and try not to take anything in with me like a, I'm just going to make a joke, like stuff to make a loaf with. No, try to just get in the bath. But do you have like a candle?

[00:08:02] So my daughter, who's 11, is very much into journaling. She'll, she does go through phases a bit, but in the bath, candle, dim lighting, nice. You know, she wants to put petals in the bath and stuff. And it's all about the aesthetic, mum. Yes, the aesthetic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then. Yeah. That's what I do if we say anything sort of slightly twee, Gen Z. Is it Gen Z or Gen Alpha?

[00:08:32] She's Gen Alpha, isn't she? She's Gen Alpha. You do like the victory, victory Vs with your fingers and you stick your tongue out to the side and you tip your head to one. It's kind of whimsical. For a long time, it was that girls with the hand over the face, the hand over the mouth, like they're laughing, but it's, but it's actually because they don't want to be seen on the camera, which is sad. They do this and that they're laughing. But do you, do you sort of have a, I don't know, spa experience? No, not really.

[00:09:01] But I, I used to do that. But what I do is I try, sometimes I'll take a book in or a magazine. And sometimes if I'm feeling very full of head, I just try and just get in and lie there. But I like to get in the bath, particularly if my bones feel cold, get in and get right into the water. And then I will stick my whole head under. And I just like the feeling of swashing my hair, slashing my hair about in there. But I know we've spoken about this before. You're not image. Yeah. I'm just drowning.

[00:09:32] Mum, mum, are you all right? Anything to do with water resets me. But Ian and I have this thing where we do a date night every month. And because I just realised that we just weren't ever really doing anything other than functioning alongside each other. We didn't do it last year, but we started again this year. And my date night was March. So I booked a shepherd's hut and we went, we went down to Stratford and just the two of us. And then we, we went and got lunch, had a lovely meal.

[00:10:00] And then we went to M&S and got picky bits. And then we went to the shepherd's hut and then we went for a nice walk. And it was in the middle of nowhere. And, and there was something about the piece. They're not looking at, again, back to piece, not looking at the phone, just resetting. And we came back and we said, I feel like I've been away for a week. And it was 24 hours. That's amazing. But we were so refreshed. We were just, you know, reading the papers, playing Scrabble, chatting, you know, like we were really, really engaging with each other and connecting and, and not having

[00:10:30] to rush off. So I could, he would, he would accommodate my questions. Like if you were a shoe, what type of shoe would you be? Or I'm always asking things like that. And he goes, oh God, I don't know. It's late. Whereas actually he was indulging me. When he's got an M&S chicken ball, he's absolutely fine to answer those questions. Yeah. And so it was nice. And you just, and so, so just stepping, I think, like you said, being with friends, like I'm with you this weekend.

[00:11:00] And I know that will feel like a, like a mini break. And then you come back and you feel prepared to tackle everything because you just had a change of scenery. It does top you up, doesn't it? It's the, and it's the, it's the, um, the energy, getting the energy from something else, from somebody else or a different environment in a positive way, rather than being exhausted by something. Yes. That sort of energy. It's, it's a, it's a, it is a filling up of your, the bits that, you know, cause we

[00:11:28] sort of exist with this one level getting filled up every day, which is just having to sort of earn the money or do the shop, you know, that sort of thing. And then, you know, great. I've ticked that off the list, but the other, the other parts of you that need feeding don't get it. Have you used give me a break travel agency before, madam? No. Desperate times, expensive measures. And what led you to book a solo break with us today? Two kids and a husband. Three kids.

[00:11:58] And a cat. Three kids and a freeloader. Full-time job I don't love. Existential crisis. Being in a constant state of logistics. Ooh, painful. And I haven't finished a cup of tea in ten years. Dehydrated. I manage approximately 30 seconds of yoga with Adrian before being interrupted by either the cat, the kids or the sex-starved husband. Stiff. The last time I went for a jog was pointless as I had to stop every five minutes for a wee. Middle-aged. And to be honest, I really can't be bothered with any of it anymore.

[00:12:29] Menopausally enlightened. Can you give me a break? What's your budget? Fifty pounds. And this Cadbury's Flake? Hmm. You're not going to be able to afford the five-day luxury yoga retreat in Ibiza? No. Or the three-day reclaim-your-energy retreat in the Lake District? Bugger. Or even the one-day escape-the-daily-grind retreat walking the Birmingham Canal system while crocheting a popsock? Is there anything I can do? Well, there's a big cupboard behind me.

[00:12:58] Chuck me the 50 quid, I'll sort you out with supplies and a subscription to HBO Max. I recommend Heated Rivalry. It's the five-hour, I'd rather be locked in a cupboard than deal with this shit anymore retreat. Fabulous. I'll take the Flake as payment. I'll eat it suggestively during my 30-minute, I'm having a bath and God help anyone who tries to stop me retreat. I'm shutting the door now. Retreat yourself!

[00:13:26] What about, because I'll guess later on, so Amy will talk about traumatic things that have happened to us, trying to heal that and rid ourselves of those, I suppose they're memories that live in our cells, I suppose. I don't know how good I am at dealing with that sort of stuff. I think I'm more of a just move on.

[00:13:51] So I don't know if, sometimes if I've done something like breathwork, for example, with Guru Sue, I mean, it is like I'm an exorcism. I'm sort of screaming the trauma out of me. It's not something I would think about and sort of do on a regular basis. I find breathwork one of the most transformational things, actually.

[00:14:19] And I haven't done it for a while. And sometimes I think, oh, I need one. I can almost feel stuff in my body. But you saying that reminded me of something I did the other day, which is quite interesting. I do journal. I think I'm somebody that doesn't necessarily always... I don't know if I... I don't think, mind you, none of us probably process everything in the moment. But I know that I've got stuff in me that still needs to come out. But breathwork really helps me.

[00:14:49] It resets me. I feel like I can breathe properly afterwards. I always, as I said before, an hour of let something go. But the other day I journaled and it was coming up to the anniversary of my mum's death. And I always... I normally post about her on the day she died. And I normally post about her on her birthday. Not because I'm feeling particularly sad. I just think that I'm her only child. And I kind of don't want her to be forgotten about. Anyway, and I'm just...

[00:15:19] It's just for me to sort of... It's just sort of like... Yeah, I suppose there is an element of like, look, she was here. And I don't know. But it's not... I don't normally feel sad. This year, I felt really weird in the run-up to it, actually. And quite emotional. On the day of her that she died, I had a chronic headache all day and just felt really knackered. But in the evening, I went to bed and I felt really quite awake. And I was journaling. And then I thought... I've always heard people say, why don't you write to the person?

[00:15:48] You know, it was like a gestalt experiment where you write a letter and you journal. So I journaled. And I was asking my mum questions. But the weirdest fucking thing happened is that my handwriting completely changed. And my handwriting... I couldn't hold the pen in the same way. It was like something else was in control of my hands. And my handwriting... Derek and Tora. Derek. Oh, Esther.

[00:16:17] What are you talking about? My handwriting went back to that of what it was when I was 10 years old. Oh! And so I've got a diary from when I was around that age. And that is what my handwriting was like. And I sort of compared it the next day. And it was very similar. And even the way I was doing my lettering, I was like, what's happening? And then I left it a couple of days. And I told a friend. And they said, well, what were you saying in it? Was what you were saying quite childlike? And I said, I don't know. So I went back and looked at it.

[00:16:46] And yes, it was not the language I would necessarily have used. Oh, my God. That is fascinating to me. And I was telling my husband. And he's going, that's so cool. You're quite good at accessing stuff like that. And I think I am. But I just... It was so weird. And then I looked it up a bit. And apparently it can't happen. It's not really common. But it can happen.

[00:17:09] And so really connecting to the sort of the 10-year-old or 11-year-old within me to... Right. It was mad. It was... That is amazing. It was so amazing. And then I just think about what we're capable of and then what we're holding within ourselves. I mean, that's the... I think sometimes that's my problem, though, is I'm always digging. I'm always wanting to know and understand that almost it stops you from living your life. Well, I'm often trying to link things back.

[00:17:39] You know, a reaction that I've had to something or... Well, that's probably why I'm doing that. And that's connected to that. But I suppose in a way that is... That processing it is a way of kind of going, okay, well, let's deal with that then. Let's just... Well, let's just put a line under that now because I can work out that that's why I do that. I don't need to do that. Yeah. Because that's done.

[00:18:10] But it is... It can be quite exhausting, can't it? It can. But I'm like you. If I find I want to understand and I want to know the answer because if I can make sense of it, then I can let it go and I can sort of move forward or I can go, that's fine. They're just like that because of that. Or that's fine. I'm like that because of that. So therefore, I don't need to do that anymore. I don't need to have that behavior. Yeah. But it is unending.

[00:18:38] There's always something to unearth. Yeah. Sometimes I think it can stop you almost living life because you're always freaking analyzing everything. I know I can. And actually, I was at a funeral yesterday and my aunt was there and her husband. And they're just not like that. My aunt is a bit... He's not at all. He's just very practical, very... And I thought there's a certain freedom to that. Yes. Yes. I think so. Not analyzing yourself and just... Yeah.

[00:19:08] Just moving forward. Yeah. Rather than constantly having a pull to the past as well. But we know we're going to talk with Amy about traumas that the body's held onto that turn into diseases. And I'm fascinated. And I'm a big believer in that. I'm a big believer in... Well, The Body Keeps the Score, isn't it? By Vessel van der Kampel. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:19:37] And it's a fascinating book. And I... And when... When dogs have had something traumatic, they shake. Because if they didn't shake, then they'd die. And so I'm... I am definitely someone in my adult life that if something is bothering me, I try and talk about it. If something is... If I try and cry if I feel I need to. Or not try and cry. I let it come. Yes. Yeah.

[00:20:06] Because I just think it's healthier than holding it in. It's funny. Yeah. And because sometimes it's... I mean, it can be... You know, the set of circumstances are the same day to day. You've got... Whatever the trauma is, it's still... It's there. And it's there the next day. It's there the next day. And it's there the next day. But then some days, it does rise to the surface. And... Yeah. And so I'm like, well, I could do... I need a good cry. I need a good... Sometimes I'm like, I need a good cry later.

[00:20:34] And then, you know, the trauma is still there the next day. But it's not... It's a stress release, isn't it? You've let some... You've let it go. You've sort of... You've got... Like on the... On Tuesday when it was the anniversary. I think it was because my mum died at 36. And it was 36 years since she died. And there was something about the symbolism of that, the symmetry of that, that kind of... I found a bit weird. And also, all of my maternal figures died within like a two-week window. Not at the same time.

[00:21:02] But they're all end of March, beginning of April. They're all these maternal figures. So there's something about that as well. But I said to my husband... My head was pounding. I had to take my daughter to her doctor's appointment. And when we got back, she's like, do you want a cup of strawberry tea? And I said, yes, thank you. And she was obviously picking up on it. And then I said to my husband, I'm just going to go into our bedroom. I might be there till bedtime. Can I... I just need to be on my own. And I...

[00:21:30] And I was actually only in there for an hour or two. But I had a cry. I journaled a bit. I just... I just didn't know what my body needed from me. So it was a real luxury and privilege. And obviously, you can't always have that. But just to take some time and go, whatever my body needs to do right now, I'm just going to let it do it. And I think you said at the top, you said you're getting better at no... You're getting better at no... And I'm... And I think... And I definitely am as well. And that's great.

[00:21:57] It's a nice position to be in because the number of years I would have overridden and just done what was expected or not wanted to seem a certain way and tried to keep things bottled up and... And it's great to be able to sort of take care of yourself in that way, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. It's really important. And I wish that... Yeah.

[00:22:25] That sort of everybody could see that in themselves sometimes. Yes. I think there's a lot of people with a lot of trauma. Yeah. And they end up doing bad stuff. Yeah. They probably just need a good nap. Yeah. I think of myself as a patron of the arts. I buy theatre tickets. Encore! I attend cinematic presentations.

[00:22:54] Can I see some ID, madam? This is a 12 certification. Oh, blast. And I adore a good art exhibition. Who's this by? It's just blobs. Picasso? Oh. Oh. But it's only now that I can call myself a true patron. As I've become a patron of Limited Time Only Podcast, my support enables Susie and Esther to make LTO the best it can be. And gets me bonus content and experiences I don't want to miss.

[00:23:24] I've just signed up for the patron-only LTO Live Online. To sign up, go to patreon.com and search for Limited Time Only Podcast. There's a link in the show notes and in the LTO Instagram bio. I'll see you over there. I'm just off to the opera. Toodaloo! I'm Auntie Deck. Welcome to I'm a Mother, Get Me Out of Here.

[00:23:51] So far, in an unprecedented twist, all the mothers who've been voted out by the public have refused to leave the jungle and have hidden in a camp even worse than the one we made them in an effort to avoid returning to their normal lives. We asked them if they'd like to go back to dealing with their beloved families, their exhausting jobs and a political landscape even more depressing than an episode of The Handmaid's Tale. But they said we'd rather eat kangaroos' testicles, sleep with venomous snakes and live in close proximity to one of the loose women.

[00:24:20] They're nothing if not plucky. We're renaming the show I'm a Mother, Get Me Into Here. See you next week. I might join them. I might sound like a complete nutter. But I came off the phone to you last week after we'd spoken and I was telling my husband all about you. And then I started crying. And he was saying, well, even now I'm talking about it. Oh, for fuck's sake. You're just going to cry. I can tell straight away. That's okay. And I was so happy about it. And I'm just going to look at the ceiling.

[00:24:51] No, hey, no, no, no, no, no. We don't get embarrassed about crying. But he was like, what are you crying about? And I was going, I don't know, but I'm crying. And I just was crying for ages. But it was good. It was good. Today's guest is Amy A. O'Day, founder of The Reconnected Self and creator of a method she calls Compassionate Self Healing.

[00:25:15] After spending decades living with chronic illness, multiple diagnoses, ongoing fatigue, autoimmune conditions, hormonal issues, sensitivities, and a long list of health challenges, Amy began exploring the connection between emotional patterns, subconscious beliefs, and physical well-being. Through that work, she says she was able to restore her own health and went on to develop her approach to emotional healing.

[00:25:40] Amy's work looks at the idea that experiences from the past, unresolved emotions, and deeply held beliefs can shape the way we feel physically and emotionally in the present, showing up as stress, anxiety, burnout, chronic symptoms, and a whole host of other issues. We talked to Amy about her journey through illness and recovery, the origins of the reconnected self,

[00:26:04] the relationship between mind and body, and how our internal world can influence the way we experience health. Welcome to the show, Amy A. O'Day. I have followed your work for a good two or three years now, and I'm so fascinated by the work that you do.

[00:26:22] And it makes so much sense to me that we can, that we have beliefs and how our body holds onto trauma and how all that can be affected. And I've been saying to Susie for ages, we've got to get Amy A. O'Day on. We have to get her on. I think the work you do is brilliant, and I'm so delighted that you're here. How did this begin for you, this work that you do?

[00:26:52] I mean, that's quite a big job. How long have we got? Well, Amy, I've cleared my diary for the entire afternoon, so I hope you're free. Well, there's two ways I can approach it. One would be in the womb. That's when it began. But then there's also, like, when did this work begin for me?

[00:27:14] Because I've sort of led this double life of, you know, I was a designer and had a very successful business for, like, 22 years. And then I came out as someone that does this. And that was quite a massive sea change for me. But so, yeah, I don't know which aspect would be the best one to start with. Maybe the latter, because that sort of then goes back.

[00:27:43] But I had huge amounts of illness all my life. Like, literally, when I came out of the womb, I had issues. And again, if I just list them all, I will be here all day. I have them on my website. They are, you know, so, so many. I basically never felt well. All through my life, you know, I had ME as a teen. I had really bad whooping cough as a child.

[00:28:11] I had hormone issues. I had terrible acne. I had polycystic ovaries. I had just unbelievable amounts of things. And that was even before all the autoimmunity. I mean, I know a lot of those are classes of autoimmunity. But, like, the kind of classic autoimmune conditions happen throughout, like, as I got older.

[00:28:34] And there were some really key points in my life where things just went absolutely pear-shaped. And, like, the birth of my twins. Very shortly after that, I had autoimmune thyroid began. Huge amounts of food sensitivity, chemical sensitivity, electric sensitivity. Honestly, you could literally name a part of my body. Everything was malfunctioning.

[00:29:04] My hair was falling out. My skin just looked like I was about 90. I was cold. You know, I won't go on, but it was a lot. And more autoimmune conditioners were piling on. And I was just in such a state of panic. And I tried to address it all. But I was also... I didn't tell anyone I had any of this. And I, you know, was running my business. You know, people that were working for me had a shop, online business.

[00:29:34] And yet I was kind of collapsing. I had burnout. I couldn't finish the end of a sentence in a book. And I sometimes would just go home and crash. And, like, my poor employees are probably thinking, what the hell is wrong with that? And I kept it all quiet. And then, long story short, I tried to... I basically felt like I did a degree researching everything.

[00:30:00] I tried, you know, all throughout my life, trying tons and tons of different modalities and things. And nothing was working. And then just before... I suppose just before everyone... Everyone went into that COVID time where they went internal and kind of was trying to figure out what was going on. I actually did that before COVID. I took a sabbatical. And because I couldn't function any longer.

[00:30:30] I moved to rural France. I had this really strong urge that I needed to be... Just get away from the city and find myself. And kind of the opposite happened. I actually got worse. Because I was focusing more and more and more on my illness. And, yeah. And that was interesting. I then got... You know, I was in this absolutely idyllic location. But I was down to only eating about 10 safe foods.

[00:31:01] And my hair was really coming out then. I was, you know, researching hair scarves. And, you know, worrying if that was cultural appropriation. If I was going to wear a hair scarf. Like, I was just so paranoid about everything. And then I started to find my way. I started listening. Like, nothing was working externally. Like, working with specialists and nutritionists and doctors. Like, nothing was helping me.

[00:31:31] And I was getting worse. And actually, all that focus on my health and that fear-mongering was making things worse. So, I then just started following my gut. And looking at random things that caught my attention. And trying them. And I tried a bit of energy work. And then I found my way. I literally went, right, I'm going to go inward. And that was where my modality, Compassionate Self-Healing, began. Where I started asking myself internally for answers.

[00:31:59] And then using my intuition, I started working through the trauma that I had. In a very manual way. It's not the way that I teach it now. But it was quite hard work. But that was also due to a lot of the beliefs. I got to a really key thing that happened. I basically healed the trauma of the birth of my twins. And that's complicated. But I healed it using my own methods. And literally the next day, I could eat anything again.

[00:32:30] Now, I was down to literally eating 15 foods. And then suddenly, I could eat everything. Even gluten. And it was wild. And it was one of the biggest things for me. Because I realised how much I'd kept my world small. And normalised only eating 10 foods. Like I'd vilified gluten. I'd sort of said, well, even if I could eat it. I wouldn't. Because it's not good for you.

[00:33:00] And that's just bullshit. Like, you know, sourdough is brilliant. I love it. And I now eat it every day, pretty much. And I know lots of really healthy, nutritional people were like, oh, you shouldn't eat bread. I disagree. Yes, there's a very big difference between, like, buying a loaf of hovis and buying, like, an actual traditional artisan sourdough. They're, like, completely different foodstuffs. But whichever, like, now there's nothing I can't eat.

[00:33:29] And that was absolutely wild. Like, for me, that was such clear evidence of what was happening. And then I thought, well, if I can do that, I can do anything. And then I just kind of felt, right, autoimmune diseases, I'm coming for you. And then I got to, you know, eventually I got to, there's been some really big key areas.

[00:33:53] But, like, for my thyroid, it was really clear that the really big thing was a trauma that had happened to my mum when I was in utero. And when I cleared that from my energy and resolved that, that I've been carrying, that was when my thyroid healed. With how many weeks, sorry?

[00:34:12] Just a few weeks, because basically what happened was, like, and this is how I see it, the autoimmune attack is because of this stored charge. And that was what I was carrying. And when you release that stored charge, the immune system starts working properly again, which means it doesn't then attack the thyroid.

[00:34:39] So then it's almost like all of the soldiers put down their weapons. And then it's just about the healing. And your body knows how to heal. So the tissues healed themselves. And I, you know, I aided it a little with my intuition. But within, you know, and it's not like I'm there. And I absolutely do not advocate coming off medication.

[00:35:07] Like, I, my body started producing the thyroid hormone, which is then reflected in blood tests. So your doctors are going, you're over-medicated, you've got to come off your medication. It's not that I ever tell anyone to come off the medication. But if your thyroid works again, you don't need it anymore. So, and that's basically what happened with all of my supplements. I mean, I used to carry around an absolute truckload of supplements.

[00:35:34] Like, if I just tried to, like, go and stay at a friend's house, I'd be like, right, I'll just go and get my suitcase. Separately. Yeah, exactly. And all of these things that I felt like, I mean, I kind of probably did need them at the time. Or at least I had beliefs that I needed them as well in order to survive. Whereas now, like, I don't need anything. I can go stay at a mate's house. I don't need, I don't need medication. I don't need supplements. I don't need things to help me sleep. You know, like that.

[00:36:01] And again, it's all of these things that you kind of normalize as you think you become blind to them. They become part of your world. So you normalize not just going out to any restaurant or not meeting anyone. And you normalize not eating bread. And you normalize, you know, all the social things that your world's made so small by. And you normalize just, like, not having that freedom of just movement. Of being able to just, at the drop of a hat, go stay over somewhere.

[00:36:30] Or go eat anything. Your world becomes really small, but you don't notice it. Maybe you do. Maybe it was just me, but I didn't. I just kind of tried to make it feel like that was normal. How did you know what the trauma was? How did you know how to tap into that? So I feel like this is information I've always held.

[00:37:00] So, you know, it's funny. I did not grow up spiritual. I was born in Hammersmith Hospital. Probably the least spiritual place in the whole of London, right? This isn't a big story of returning to my spiritual roots. I was also raised in pretty much an atheist family.

[00:37:29] And, you know, I've got doctors in my family. So, this outlook. One of the biggest things I've had to heal actually has got nothing to do with the body. It's actually healing my authority, which is what everything is all about. My inner authority. At the time, and this is what's so funny, when I actually healed my, you know, all my conditions.

[00:37:57] My first thought, and this shows how much I've grown. My first thought is, God, I can't tell anyone. Because this is so unacceptable. You know, I was hiding all of this energy work that I was doing. Because, and that shows how much, how little authority I thought I had. The thought of going even on a podcast to talk about it. I mean, that was just this. Just being here is a sign of how much I've grown. Yeah.

[00:38:24] Because there's no way I could have even have told my family, let alone the world, that I was doing this incredibly unorthodox thing. Especially from a world, you know, growing up in a family of doctors. Yes. Well, yes. You know. I'm from a family of doctors as well. I totally understand that. But what's striking me is that, actually, in the world at large,

[00:38:50] we talk about stress and the effects of stress on a sort of, I don't know, a general level. And that is accepted as a stress causes certain physiological effects. It makes you ill. And we'll accept that. But actually, if you, but looking deeper and actually, you know, pinpointing specifics,

[00:39:16] specific traumas, that's where people start to go, oh, that sounds a bit weird or whatever. But actually, it's just the next level of looking at what is stressing your being. Yeah, exactly. And also, you just think about what stress is. I mean, look, I thoroughly empathise. I empathise like old me would have gone, this is just ridiculous. Woo woo.

[00:39:42] You know, if I hadn't healed everything I had, I needed that for me to convince me that this was actually real. Right? Yeah. It is a leap. I totally get it. And I feel like that's one of the reasons why it's useful that I've had this background, because I do understand how big a reach this is from the world in which we've grown up and the way we've been taught how things work. But if we just break it down energetically, that's totally true about current stress.

[00:40:10] And we totally agree that current stress causes issues in the body. Right? That's fairly fundamentally accepted. So if you think of what current stress is, that is a charge, a charge that you're carrying. So you're carrying that charge of fear, anger, whatever it is, whatever those emotions are. Like say something bad's happening at your work and you're feeling really undermined. Maybe you're being humiliated.

[00:40:40] You've got shame. You've got anger. You've got maybe feelings of guilt. You know, who knows what's going on? That is what we're talking about. Now, how big a reach is it to go, that's what's going on currently and I'm holding that in my body and I'm not letting it go because I'm not voicing it because maybe it's not. It's not safe to voice it or maybe it's, you know, that's a family trait that we have that we don't express emotions.

[00:41:09] So I just suppress it. So then that's current stress. We can agree on that. What happens 20 years later when you've kept that stress in and maybe it's something much bigger, much worse? That's still the same stored charge that's in your body. That's what we're talking about. When I talk about unprocessed emotions, it's that stored charge. Now, the way it gets harder, the bigger reach is like, well, that charge can continue into the next generation.

[00:41:37] And that is how I see it, how epigenetics works, because that stored charge, transgenerational trauma is passed down by that charge. You know, we follow each other's energy. So when you have kids, before you individuate, you're all sharing the same energy. They're literally kind of copying your energy.

[00:42:05] So some of that stored charge that you're holding on to is in them and makes up their fields. And that's how transgenerational trauma works. But interestingly, you know, equally, if you're an empath, you can be taking on the stored charge of others. Now, I think there's two points that are really important to make about that if you're an empath. One is sort of how that works and how that looks.

[00:42:31] And the other is why we take on other people's energy, because we don't have to. And part of what I teach is about is this thing about your inner authority. And when that is really healed, we don't take on other people's emotions. It's like an energetic force field that we have. And when we have, when we release all of our beliefs about being overpowered, about, you know, having our own authority,

[00:42:58] almost like all the things that I'm talking about, how I've got here today to be able to talk about this thing that's deeply uncomfortable for many people, but not feel scared about that. That's about healing my inner authority. The more of our inner authority that we heal, the stronger our boundaries are, the more we just don't, I don't take on anything from anyone anymore. And I, you know, I tune into clients all the time, daily, and I'm not taking on their things.

[00:43:25] So it's like, if you're taking on other people's emotions and storing that, and we do, we absolutely do. But at least, you know, I found that in me. I'm storing other people. I was storing other people's emotions. But that, it's almost like, that's almost incidental. Like, we can clear that energy, but actually we can clear it much more quickly if we look at why. And we heal the why. Because then your boundaries just heal. And it affects everything, doesn't it? Because I mean, this is really just like...

[00:43:54] I told you. I told you. I'm so on board with all of this. But I'm just thinking it's not even how it affects you and how it can make you ill, but also how it can stop you just progressing in the world as a person. Your career or whatever, or a creative, whatever you're doing, or any interactions with another person. It affects everything, doesn't it?

[00:44:21] Yeah, not having inner authority just completely can stymie your entire existence. And so the main, the two main biggest issues, and this is what, like, I cannot state strongly enough, is your unprocessed emotions, which is that stored charge, which we know can create, as agreed, havoc. And whether that's current or past, whatever.

[00:44:47] But also your subconscious beliefs, because your subconscious beliefs are about that authority. And so it's really about healing those, recognizing all of that really early programming and later programming and getting to that, which is blocking you. You know, when we talk about self-sabotage, that is your subconscious beliefs.

[00:45:12] And again, if we look at, like, me as the child that grew up in a family where, you know, it was not a done thing to talk about any alternative thing. You know, there's going to be beliefs that I was carrying that it's not safe to be seen putting out this kind of thing.

[00:45:34] Because the child parts of me would be like, well, that's going to be automatic rejection and disconnection. And that's not safe. So those parts of me would have been trying to self-sabotage, you know, and stop me from getting my message out because it's not safe. You know, I've had to do a lot of work dealing with all of that. And, you know, I think we can all think about things like they'll all be part things you realize that you've done.

[00:46:03] That's some kind of form of self-sabotage. Just whether it's like, oh, I didn't put myself forward for that job or maybe it's even like, I mean, like really classic one. Anyone not managing to exercise, you know? Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like there can be so many reasons why we're not managing to exercise. One might be because, and again, maybe what's the end result of you exercising?

[00:46:33] Like, let's just take an example of something really random. Maybe there's a part of you that knows that when you exercise, you're going to become fitter. Maybe you then become more visible. You know, maybe that's the thing that's stopping you losing weight. And losing weight is another one. So, like, why can't I lose weight? Maybe because that will make you more visible to perhaps the opposite sex or the sex that you want to attract.

[00:47:02] And maybe there are parts of you that have trauma that are like, it's not safe. It's not safe to attract this attention. And you have that unresolved trauma that you haven't looked at. And that is the whole reason why you're putting on weight or you're not being able to exercise. And actually, that weight is almost a sign of protection. If you think about what it looks like, it's padding. So, it's padding.

[00:47:32] So, there's a part of you that's trying to protect you, almost like as bubble wrap. And so, you can be, like, absolutely killing yourself, kind of going, God, I'm the worst person. I don't do these things. And it's not that. You've just got a part of you that's really trying to protect you. And it's doing its best to keep you safe. And that's the thing, isn't it? The body does try to protect you. It sabotages you.

[00:47:57] And I was thinking about beliefs and beliefs that are passed down to you that you don't know that you've picked up on. And, like, I'll share one of mine that I've come to realize. And I think it comes from one side of my family in particular. But whenever the women got successful, they'd die. Or they, you know what I mean? And so, that, I think, is like, or they'd be working a lot. And then a lot of work equals death.

[00:48:22] So, I think I have in my life self-sabotaged because I equate being successful with. So, that's something I've sort of been thinking about a lot recently. Or they've worked too much. So, I sometimes go, oh, this is exciting. I'm excited by this project. No, no, no. Hang on. This feels like too much. And so, I then go, oh, it's not safe. You can't have one and the other. You can't.

[00:48:49] And these are sort of things that have been just, you don't even know that the people themselves don't even know they're having those conversations. You know, it just trickles in and it's there, isn't it? And you don't, you're not always aware that you have those thoughts. So, then your body is sabotaging you and protecting you. It's not sabotaging, is it? It's protecting you. It's stopping you from doing something because it's programmed to keep you safe. Yeah, absolutely.

[00:49:16] And it's funny because you can have, you can have, there's different reasons why your parts of you self-sabotage. Some of them are protective. And a lot of people, you know, kind of go, oh, they're always protective. They're not. They're actually not always protective. Some of them, some of your parts can be really stuck in cycles of self-blame and shame. And those parts can be trying to punish you.

[00:49:44] Like, if they feel, if, let's say, let's say there's something that you've done, like maybe it isn't even anything, but maybe as a child you've done something that you're deeply ashamed of. You know, children often get the wrong end of the stick of, like, what's wrong. Maybe, you know, maybe they think their, this child thinks they're responsible for their parents breaking up. And it's them. And they're the problem. And they are beating themselves up.

[00:50:12] They're like, you don't deserve anything because you split up mum and dad. That part is punishing. That part is like, you don't deserve this. And actually, it's so stuck in a cycle of self-blame and shame that that is why. That's what needs to be healed. Because it's not that it's bad. Again, it's just misguided. It's operating on assumptions that aren't correct.

[00:50:42] You know, and aren't relevant. And then actually, you know, even back then they weren't, were they? It was never the child's fault. I remember somebody saying to me that when your parent, when a child, their options are, if the parents are arguing or if the parent above them isn't great, you have to make yourself the bad one. Because if they're the bad one, you're in deep shit. So you sort of, as a child, you internalise that as your fault, your responsibility.

[00:51:13] Which I find fascinating. But then as an adult, rationally, you know that's not right. Which is why I find your modality so interesting. Because it's not about talking and talking and talking. It's about going around in circles. It's about really getting to the root of what those traumas are. Yeah, it's totally targeted. Like, it's also with a knowledge of recognising what the structures are, you know, how the architecture really works with your energy.

[00:51:42] And so it's very methodical. Like, we have a very kind of consistent approach where we target certain things first. And we, you know, we explain it always with the client. But also, what's very different is that you teach the client the process. Like, it's not a top-down approach in that. Like, it's more like we kind of say it's like a collaborative dance.

[00:52:06] So it's very empowering because it's basically any kind of imbalance is you not having your power, you know. And the inner authority is kind of a loss of power as well. And so it's about getting your power back. You can't really get given your power back. You've got to take it. And you can't take it by being handed it. So you've got to learn. You learn how to do it.

[00:52:35] So, like, it's very supportive. You get the support that you need. And, you know, for those parts of you that need that support, maybe they didn't have support. It's really important. But then equally, it's about you really getting into your power. And so often we have so many wounds about disempowerment that that's one of the best ways of overcoming that is by learning it.

[00:53:04] You know, how many other modalities teach you how it works? Right? Yeah, absolutely. And so by the end of the process, with the one-to-one sessions, by the end of the process, you're not a practitioner, but you're in charge of your own process. So then you're equipped to deal with any trauma, anything that comes up in the future because you know how to pinpoint it. Which is invaluable, isn't it?

[00:53:29] Because I was thinking when you were saying earlier about your own authority as well and how, oh my God, every time I open an app, I'm bombarded with, you need to get up at six. You need to be drinking a green juice. You need to be doing this. You need to be doing that. And we outsource so much of our power, don't we? And actually what you did to heal yourself was to sit with yourself and to quiet everything down. What's the problem?

[00:53:51] But also, and I've heard you say this as well, we focus so much on I'm not well that that becomes like it sort of amplifies it to the point that that's your life. You know, that's your sole focus is I'm not well. But I notice like when people are ill, sometimes you can sort of tell if it's a cold or a flu or something because they'll say I'm not very well. But then you take them out of the day and they've almost forgotten about it because they're doing something else for the day. And then they come back, you know what I mean? You can go, oh, I'm in bed all day.

[00:54:20] But actually, oh, I went out today. That's why I send the kids to school when they said they got, go to school, you'll be fine. You'll be distracted. Because I used to do and I still do sometimes medical role play for medical students. So they learn it's all communication skills. So how to deal with different patients. I've had very many, many illnesses in my time, some more serious than others. And they use it for mental illness as well. But one one session I had to do all day.

[00:54:50] I had to pretend to that I was nauseous and had a headache. Like, this was my these were my symptoms. By lunchtime, I'd gone green. And there was a there was a consultant doctor with me and he was like, are you OK? And I was like, I'm nauseous. I've got a headache. They had to get me a fan to blast cold and a bowl because I'd made myself ill. Yeah, it was remarkable.

[00:55:20] And I was like, bloody hell, I'm a good actor. I've got the method. Thank you. Oscar. Oscar winning performers. There are there. I mean, there's a similar example I heard. I think it was Leonardo DiCaprio who, you know, when they do all the method acting, he was like method acting being OCD. And then he developed OCD. Yeah, because you're training your brain to think a certain way. And that shows you how important beliefs are. Right. Yes. And actions.

[00:55:49] And so I always say to you want to be putting your thoughts 80% of the time in the new you. So if that new version of you that you want to climb into doesn't think these things and doesn't do these things, then don't do it. And that's why it's problematic when you make your illness or whatever it is that you are trying to step out of your identity. Yeah.

[00:56:16] So like people that kind of, you know, call their Instagram posts, you know, autoimmune warrior or whatever. You're like, is that what new you is going to be? Are they still going to be an autoimmune warrior? Is that what you want? You know? Yeah. And also like your brain's always listening. So each time we say, oh God, I'm so terrible at this. You're just confirming it. Yeah.

[00:56:42] Like I love, I was saying this to my practitioners, but when we say I am, it is a code. Like you're literally inputting a code. Affirmations are not things that you just say to yourself in the morning to set up your day. They're things you say all day long. They don't only work when you're standing in front of the mirror going, I am a strong, independent, successful woman. They work when you're talking to your partner going, I feel really crap today. That is also an affirmation. Yes.

[00:57:13] When I'm a little bit poorly, like I've got a bit of a cold. In fact, last week, yeah, last week I felt underlying ill all week. And what was bothering me more than that? And I knew something was, and I basically by Saturday, my nose was streaming. I had two days of streaming nose. The next day I was fine. But it sort of took a little while to come on. But worse than just a feeling a bit ill was the fact that I instantly was like, you're useless. You're completely useless.

[00:57:43] You can't do anything. Why can't you do any of the things you said you were going to do this week? It's pathetic. It's pathetic. And being a little bit poorly makes me spiral into this state of, and it's terrible. And I kind of know I'm doing it, but I can't stop. Yeah, but it's interesting though, because what me, you know, I don't want to sort of self-analyse you, but I do think this might be helpful because I think a lot of people carry this.

[00:58:09] So then you look at what's your belief around productivity? Because like, okay, like a baby doesn't do anything. Do they have value? Yes. Yes. They're not running around doing a million things, but they're still lovable and they have value. Yes. Yeah.

[00:58:34] And so why are you not still lovable and have value if you can't run around and do a million things? I know. I don't know. Because you hold a belief that you have to be productive to have value, probably. Something like that. Yeah. And like, that's such a common one. Look at our society. I mean, look how we define success. Look at Instagram. Look at all of those social media outlets. You know, what is success?

[00:59:03] Like everyone on there is going, this is my amazing life. This is what success is. No one's there just going, I'm doing nothing. I am so successful. Like, I exist. I am successful. But even my husband and I will talk about this. He'll say it's weird, isn't it? That we constantly have to grow the economy. We have to grow everything. And everything has to be sort of improving, getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And we don't have infinite resources.

[00:59:32] We don't have, and it's sort of rammed down our throat, isn't it? And I'm thinking about beliefs and what you were saying as well. I don't read, if I am put on medication for anything, I don't read what the possible side effects are because I know I will bloody develop them. If I've read them, I'm going straight down that path. And I know somebody who's ill at the moment within my family and they are now reading everything they can find about that and they are getting progressively worse.

[01:00:01] Now, I believe that is because they're now changing the language that they're using around it and describing it as a chronic condition. And I think, and well, of course, I can't do this. And suddenly I might not be able to go on holiday because, and I'm sure it's because they're absorbing as much information as they can to try and heal themselves. But actually, they're reinforcing those beliefs. And I saw you say, I've got Hashimoto's. And I have spoken about it quite a bit on here, so people know.

[01:00:31] But you said something, and I think it's so true. When you have Hashimoto's, you are given a medical exemption card and you are told you will be on medication for life. And the doctor tells you that. So you think, well, then I shouldn't, then I'm never going to heal. And they also, a lot of them say, don't eat gluten. So you go, well, I mustn't eat gluten because I'll make my, you know, I like you have sourdough most days now, though. I'll have the sourdough.

[01:00:57] But it's interesting what we're told and then it logs and then, and how suggestible we can be to what can come attached to that illness. Yeah, yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot there to unpack. I would say, like, first of all, I think there's something about, like, when you're ill, like, I had to heal my food sensitivities to be able to eat gluten again.

[01:01:26] I definitely couldn't eat it before. So I'm not like, everyone go out and eat gluten, it's good for you, right? So like, it's always stay within your limitations, but don't feel that they're a limitation. Like I always say, if there's a food you can't eat, don't have it at home so that you're never betraying yourself going, I can't eat that thing. All you're thinking is, I can eat everything because everything I can see I can eat.

[01:01:47] So, um, with, yeah, I think, yeah, yeah, there's, there's a lot there. I'm trying to think what's the best sort of way of looking at that. Glass ceilings. This is something that is so important. Um, it's funny because I had, I had a doctor that told me, um, very soon after I was diagnosed,

[01:02:13] um, I went to see a private doctor that my mom very sweetly sent me to just like, go see this person. And I said, I've been doing all the research and I think I can switch this off. And he laughed in my face. And, um, you know, I mean, like it could not be more typical. He was sort of like old white man, lab coat kind of stethoscope around his neck. Um, but, and I was like, well, I can either go two ways.

[01:02:40] I can either just accept that this is it. But I just went, no, like something in me was like, this is bullshit. I am not having a permanent medication for life. Like I was a bit like, I've had too much. This is, I just knew it. Something in me was like, this is not true. And that, that's basically where this journey started with me, like actually really set it. And I'm so grateful he did.

[01:03:09] Cause that gave me such fire in my belly. Like, cause in the back of my mind, I was always like, I'm going to show him. Um, and of course I haven't, you know, like I'm not at all bothered about him. Uh, it's great. Yeah, exactly. It's like, yeah. But sometimes we need that, those kind of, kind of kicks up the bum to really push us forward. And I, I realized that.

[01:03:35] And then I sort of, um, this is what I was thinking when you were speaking earlier. Um, all of these limiting beliefs that we take on, partly we take them on. Like you were saying about, um, when you go into the illness cycle, when you're, um, chronically searching, chronically spiraling, looking for things, your amygdala just gets really heightened.

[01:04:01] And you then you're kind of like, this is sort of why my food sensitivity went in me from being a few things to almost everything, because there's a part of you that's going, there's danger here. And you're trying to label it. You know, I, for me, I've always found all of my sensitivities are about danger and about fear.

[01:04:26] And mine were due to stuck fear in my body, which, which is what I uncovered at the birth of my kids. Um, cause I thought I was going to die. And that feeling of like, I'm about to die was held in my body. So all of that fear, when I got to it and cleared it, it then opened up everything. So then I was able to climb back from my chemical sensitivity, my electro sensitivity, but it's not just that it's also focused.

[01:04:53] You know, that phrase where we put our attention, our energy flows. If you start and you're, I think you're so right, Esther, the more you focus on something, the more heightened it gets. So like the more, like, say you've just got a neurodivergent diagnosis, the more you focus on that, the more those things switch on. And I've seen this with so many people, um, just people around me, but like the more you focus on anything, you're kind of inviting in that energy.

[01:05:20] So, um, if someone says, you know, it doesn't even have to be about neurodivergence. If someone says, you know, you really identify with being a certain horoscope, you might then just focus on that. Oh, you're a bit ditzy. Like then it becomes a thing. I'm ditzy. And you step into that and you welcome it in. Now, when you're really worried about your health, your fear, it almost opens up to more beliefs because your brain is looking for the danger everywhere.

[01:05:48] So I found with me, I would then, you know, we've got like information overload on social media. It's like, you know, my husband calls it advice pollution, right? You're sifting through all of the advice and so much of it is spurious. And then you just go, Oh, I need to have this. Or if I don't have this, I can't be safe. And suddenly you've got all of the things, right? And your world is then just, I can't survive without all of these things. And you also, they're all limiting beliefs. Like I've got to have this or I can't sleep.

[01:06:17] I got to have this or I can't eat. I got to, and it becomes this thing. So the way I like to talk about these things is looking at these beliefs as glass ceilings. So like the first one is the doctor that's saying, you know, you've got, you've got this for life.

[01:06:36] Other ones might be every time you go to a doctor's surgery and you're ticking the box of what family history you have, you're welcoming. And they say, Oh, yes, I've got a history of strokes. I've got a history of heart attack. You're like ticking that box. You're then just affirming that belongs to me, right?

[01:06:57] So you have all of these glass ceilings and many of them might be, you know, crutches, things that you think you need in order to survive. And others might just be really limiting beliefs. And if we're in that heightened state, we take on that belief more. So if you are in a place of fear about your illness and then you get handed something, this is how, I mean, this is how it was for me. You take it on.

[01:07:24] Unless you're lucky and you have something in you that you're listening to that's saying that's not true. There's another way. I think it's almost like your nervous system is heightened. It's in the sympathetic state. And then you're trying to protect yourself, aren't you? You're trying to keep yourself safe. Well, if I don't do this, then I'll be OK. And if I don't do that, I'll be OK. And then you can see how your world just becomes smaller and smaller and smaller.

[01:07:51] Because, well, if I eat cheese on a Wednesday, I tend to be sick. So I don't eat cheese. You know what I mean? It can get quite sort of ludicrous, really, can't it? Yeah. I mean, look at, you know, if you're superstitious about really specific things, like a lot of that can be, you know, those can be collective beliefs, can't they? They can be, and then you get people that really take on loads of superstition. Yeah.

[01:08:20] There's like, that's all being guided by fear of socks. Yes. It is. It's about I can control the outcome of my day by living in this way, isn't it? If I wear, like, I remember there's a friend of ours and we went for an audition for something together when we were about 15. And she was like, I always wear these socks for auditions because I always get the role. And it's, and I was reading actually yesterday an article about being lucky. And if you talk about being lucky, you tend to get luckier.

[01:08:48] And if you say everything goes wrong for me, everything does tend to get worse. And it's, it's really, it's really interesting about how the words that you use and the way you think about things affect the whole of your life. Absolutely. Do you know what? It's one of the things that I do in this work is it's not just about breaking. Because if you think about it, if you think of your reality as being determined by these beliefs, they're your programs that you're running.

[01:09:15] So it's all very well and good to dismantle the programs you want to do that. But what's going in that place? You know, especially if you're in your like 40s like me and you're breaking your programs down. If you don't put something good in its place, you're just going to go into the old cycles again. Yeah. So you want to, at the same time, to always be planting a seed. So I totally agree with that thing of like, I'm really lucky, you know. And I've watched it happen. You just start saying things.

[01:09:44] You know, there are a few really lovely things that you can just engineer to happen within your life. And it's all about just noticing the small thing first. Because you might just go, well, I'm not lucky. Nothing happens to me. And you're like, okay, you start small. So you literally go, you point out anything lucky that happens in your field, in your reality. So you drop your toast. But it doesn't land butter side down. Yes!

[01:10:13] I'm so lucky. Right? You start really small incrementally. And you think of it like a filter. Like, if you look around your room now, right, wherever you are, and I say, look for everything that's red. Yes, yeah. And then you close your eyes and you can see everything that's red, right? Yes, yeah, yeah. But then if I say, okay, with your eyes closed, look for something that's blue. You haven't been looking for the blue, so you haven't noticed it. So it's about changing.

[01:10:42] I'm not going to look for red anymore. I'm going to look for blue. And then you've got to actively notice it to then heighten it. And so you start really small. And it can be, you know, it can be a real leap. When you've got someone that's like, had a really, really difficult life, it's quite hard to then go, the universe is kind to me. You know, like, great things happen to me. But you just, it's always there. You just have to look for the small things. And then it builds.

[01:11:09] And we do have to push against a lot of external things and societal messages that come, particularly to women and girls that hold people back. But also I was thinking about just being old. We're told you to get old and you're slowing down. What? Why?

[01:11:37] I think how we age reflects what we believe as well. And so I'm consciously engineering what I am exposing myself to. You know, if I see a video that's about someone, I saw something recently of this guy that's like 102 and he's like doing some pottery. I'm like, yes, I want to watch that. Like, that is my mental pin drop of what aging is going to be.

[01:12:06] You know, maybe it's some 90 year old who's weightlifting and she's like, I look amazing and I feel amazing and I'm like really strong. I'm like, that is, you know. And so I, I'm really lucky. I've had, you know, my grandmother lived to 102. My great aunt was in her late 90s. I've got these really strong role models of independent, strong women in later life.

[01:12:32] And I'm like that, I've already decided that is how I'm going to age. That's it. And you make it like you create your reality. So, you know, I really feel like my genes are not my destiny. If they were my destiny, I'd still have Hashimoto's. I'd still have everything else. I, in me, have figured out the, the power of having that switch.

[01:13:00] But, you know, I had Hashimoto's. I no longer have it. So I don't feel your genes are your destiny. And I feel that really strongly. Yeah. And it is interesting because I was taught, I was with somebody on Friday night and she's been experiencing lots of panic attacks and she's 20 years younger than me. And I used to have dreadful panic attacks in my 20s, dreadful. And I said to her, I used to have them. I don't have them anymore.

[01:13:28] If I feel anxiety rise, I just sit with it and know it will pass. And I trust that it will pass. And it's sort of being able to change that way and that wording, isn't it, as well? And know that I'm safe to sit with this. This will pass. This will go. So, and something I know that you have talked about on one of the many videos I've seen online that you've got is about that when you work with somebody, you might have something, say, around disempowerment as a trauma.

[01:13:57] And you might think, you might, like it's a tangled load of threads all around disempowerment. So you might pull one thread out and you think you've worked through disempowerment, but there might be something else that's around disempowerment. So it's about pulling the threads apart that all come in to make that one sort of, that sort of trauma around disempowerment. There can be lots feeding into it. Yeah. So I call them energetic loops.

[01:14:20] And that's what I mean when we tackle this work, whether it's tackling it with a practitioner online or tackling it in a course. So I've got some courses coming up that, you know, to teach people how to do this emotional work from home.

[01:14:41] And when we tackle disempowerment, which is something that came up for me very big with my thyroid, because the thyroid is the powerhouse gland of your body. And so naturally, lots of wounds around power were really relevant for me with my thyroid.

[01:15:06] And yeah, when it's, I think, quite a lot of modalities, I mean, people heal in many different ways. But I think one of the things that's really interesting about working with compassionate self-healing is that we really tackle these energetic structures as a whole.

[01:15:24] So we look at the energetic loop and we teach, you know, whether that's like one-to-one or on a course, teach you how to access this loop, how to get to all of the component parts of it, the subconscious beliefs, the unprocessed emotions,

[01:15:41] all the different areas where they can come from, how to check that, how to release them, and then how to break that loop, and then how to instate something new in its place so that you're not kind of repeating the same looping pattern of disempowerment and stepping into something much more powerful.

[01:16:06] And I think there's, one of the things I think that's really helpful is that it's just having that control, you know, of understanding this is how I step out of these emotional triggers so I don't feel triggered in the world anymore. So I noticed that, you know, let's say you had trauma around disempowerment, trauma around your own sense of power.

[01:16:34] That might look like feeling triggered anytime you're in a conflict, anytime you're in a conversation and you suddenly feel your nervous system like really reacting. And you're like, this isn't safe, like, I'm being overpowered, whatever. And it's just someone that's just arguing with you, but maybe not even in an aggressive way, but you feel so activated. And you heal all of that, and then you don't feel triggered anymore.

[01:17:00] And you can just like be in conflict with someone, but it not feel like you're in war with them. You can just literally just put your point of view across and not feel deeply unsafe. Just feel like, no, this is what I feel. That's okay. And also we can have like familial patterns of that as well, where, you know, that can be learned behavior. So there can be, you know, learned behavior of like, it's not safe to, again, it's sort of authority, really, if you think about it. This is why you talk about healing your own authority so much.

[01:17:30] It's not safe to state my truth. It's not safe to stand up to men. You know, that's a very common one. There's loads of societal beliefs that we carry. That's part of our programming of like, they have to be right. Yeah. It's not safe to go against them. And you know, also for very good reason, for a very long time. Yes. It hasn't been safe, you know.

[01:17:59] So these can be going back generations and generations and generations. And you know, that's what we're here to break. I do actually wish we had got you for the whole thing because I've actually got loads more questions. But it's been just enlightening. Susie, wasn't I right? Oh, completely. I just want to immediately sign up for everything you've been doing. If people want to find you, where are you online and on the internet?

[01:18:28] So the reconnectedself.com. I'm not here to plug anything because it's really all about you choosing. Like your path is about you choosing. I've got a free video on there called Connect, which teaches you how to access your internal yes and no. And really unblock that. And that comes with a few free emails as well, which also unlock different subconscious beliefs, which can be blocking you.

[01:18:57] And from there, the idea is that you're then in kind of more empowered place to help choose what your path forward is. So I'd really recommend that. But I'm also on TikTok and Instagram, the reconnectedself. Just I put out different things whenever I feel like it on there. Well, they're lovely videos and yeah, really easy to watch. You're very easy to watch. And someone you instantly want to connect with. I was saying before we came on air, I immediately wanted to be Amy's friend.

[01:19:26] So hopefully I've achieved that by my hour. Susie, you might need to keep your boundaries. I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But we will put all those things on the show notes. It's been an absolute delight to speak to you. I mean, I feel instantly lighter, ready to go downstairs and have an argument with my husband. What have I created? No, monster. It's been a joy.

[01:19:54] Thank you so much for giving us your time this morning. Thank you so much. It's been so lovely. You have been listening to Limited Time Only. Well, I have to say thank you to you, Esther, because Amy was your find, a suggestion for a guest. And she was brilliant. It was so nice to talk to her. I love her. And I have been, like I say, I've been following her for about three years now. And I'm so fascinated by what she does.

[01:20:22] And I know she, and I really, I get it. And I feel that that is the answer to some of my problems. Some of your many, many problems. Some of my many, many problems. But I just, I just get it. And I, and I think through having done breath work as well and feeling things get stuck in my throat. And I've had, I've had like massive eczema flare ups. And I know that's, it's, I totally believe in what she says. And actually, if I believe it, then it will work for me, won't it?

[01:20:52] Because that's the whole point of it. What I was saying about that, you know, we will accept stress and the effects of stress. And what she was saying, stress now, you've got a problem with your job. You know, you go through a difficult relationship. But why don't we accept the fact that things that happened years ago, or possibly even to our parents, or even their parents, have affect us energetically as well? It makes complete sense. Well, exactly. And we're affected by things that are happening in other countries. Yeah.

[01:21:18] The, the, the, the transferred stress and the, you know, bad energy and worry about that affects how we exist. Now it's, it's all, we're all connected. I mean, I don't know why we can't just say this isn't weird. It's completely, let's just crack on and sort it out. Come on. Absolutely. And even when you go back to Kirsty Gallagher and when she came on and was saying, you know, we talk about the moon and we're affected by the moon and people go, it's bullshit.

[01:21:45] But the tide's affected by the moon and we're at 80% water or something. Yes. Like it's just because we can't see it. And we are made of stardust. We're actually made, I mean, I actually heard Professor Brian Cox say it the other day, so I know that's true. Yes. Um, so it's, it's, yeah. And it makes, because we want to, we want to imagine that we are special. That's what it is. Yeah. And, and everybody is special in their own unique way. Um, but everything on the planet is special.

[01:22:12] We're, and we are part of this whole, we're all part of this planet. We're part of a big, a whole. We're part of a whole as in W-H-O-L-E. Um, I am also part of a whole. Um, a massive one. A massive gaping hole. Oh, what a love, crass way to end. I know.

[01:22:40] But do you know, I nearly said to her as well because, um, but there was, oh my God, there was so much I wanted to talk to you about. But when dogs or cats, well, no dogs, when dogs have some, I think it might be cats. When dogs, I better just fact check it. But when dogs have something traumatic happen to them, they shake. And it's their way of releasing trauma. We don't release the trauma and the trauma gets stored within us and it turns into dis-ease.

[01:23:08] You know, it's, it's, and it turns into diseases and it makes, it makes sense. You know, if my body is constantly on high alert because it's stuck at a time in the past and it's going danger, danger. It's about letting that go and regulating the nervous system and understanding what it is and teaching your body it's safe. And the more and more that's being looked into this at the moment, the more clear it is that how much of a difference that makes. Is there a farting noise, Suzy?

[01:23:36] No, there's a lovely magpie. Oh. Honestly, five minutes ago, there was a heron. A massive heron in my garden. Oh my God, Suzy. And now there's the most, that was the most beautiful magpie I've ever seen. It was mainly, it was mainly what, oh, there's another one. Oh, that's good. Cause that's two for joy. As long as it wasn't the same one that's gone up and then sort of reappeared down the side, like a farce.

[01:24:03] Come, come around, come around the back of the stage and come out, come through the other door. Oh, two for joy and a massive heron. And a massive heron? What does a massive heron mean? I don't know, but we should be ending this episode. We should. Thank you, Amy. And thank you to you all for listening. We'll be back next week with a brief and then we'll be back two weeks after that with something else. Who knows? Tune in to find out. Yes. We will be.

[01:24:34] Thank you for listening. Tararabit. Tararabit. This podcast is part of Podomity, the UK's podcast comedy network. Why not laugh at what else we've got? Visit Podomity.com.