When a strange anomaly enters Earth's atmosphere, it threatens to wipe out every living creature in its path. In a race against time, can the Ginger Ninja save humanity, or will he spend his time eating free tacos? This episode features Ant McGinley, Ciaran Saward, Damien St John Scott Lawson. Music is licensed under CC-0. To hear more of The Champ's adventures completely ad-free, become a patron. Sign up now on our website or find us on socials.
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[00:00:00] Alright Champ-Ollix, wherever you are in the world right now, it's the wrong place, unless it's Lester.
[00:00:07] Get there and be ready for total combat.
[00:00:10] See me live on February 24th at Lester Comedy Festival.
[00:00:17] Champ-Tabulous!
[00:00:24] Millions of people have lost weight with personalized plans from Noom. Come on, fellow. Great big fires. You can't let me have anything. I'm a time king. I've been everywhere, seen everything, done everything. Well, almost. Still a few things on my bucket list. I must kick round to seeing the clash in concert. It sounded much better back then than all that augmented reality nonsense we have now.
[00:01:40] They had blood and cages and violence and everything.
[00:01:43] What is it?
[00:01:44] A corridor.
[00:01:45] A corridor? It can't be a corridor. Hey, pal, I am not cleaning up that mess.
[00:03:00] Stayed us?
[00:03:01] Ship's okay.
[00:03:02] We broke free of the time corridor but barely.
[00:03:04] The battery's shot to shit. He's the champ. He beats up people. Marvelous, isn't it? I don't like him. Wrestling with the champ. He isn't welcome. I'm starving. I haven't had my second lunch yet. You got any tacos left? No, it's... Whoa! Big, spacious, shiny...
[00:04:20] Delicious!
[00:04:22] What?
[00:04:24] Get yourself a spot down, Docs.
[00:04:26] You'd make it, killing at lunchtime. A BLEEDOM? The fate of the earth is in your hands. Hey, is he always this dramatic? All the time. Look, my curly-haired, scarf-wearing friend, you might indeed be a time king, but this girl, oh-ho, this girl is a tech princess. Served 12 years at Computer Exchange in Arrow,
[00:05:41] and a decade at PC World in Beeston.
[00:05:44] Hardcore.
[00:05:45] And she's just taken over the family business.
[00:06:42] Give his hand by this door, will ya?
[00:06:58] Welcome to Rick's Net Shop.
[00:07:02] This place is a dump. Cables are the price of greatness.
[00:07:03] You are going to love the 24th century. Who said that? All Proctor! We have to get out of here. Run! Just FYI, I don't run. I have a note. What's this? Hacked keycard for Jadrell Bank. Not just satellites. Reddit says there's a top secret defense network on site.
[00:08:20] You might be able to do something.
[00:08:22] What about you?
[00:08:23] I'll stay here and wipe your movements from Hamburglar does at a McDonald's near you. Millions of people have lost weight with personalized plans from Noom. Like Evan, who can't stand salads and still lost 50 pounds. Salads generally for most people are the easy button, right? For me, that wasn't an option.
[00:09:41] I never really was a salad guy. That's just not who I am. But Noom worked for me.
[00:09:46] Get your personalized plan today at Noom.com. Step into your nearest working everyone's club in a town near you. Aye aye. Lives change worlds. Wrestlers change guinex. Wrestling with the chimp.
[00:13:41] Can't this thing go any faster? Go down a window, or at least feel like 70. Turn up that music! Come on! You know I can see your thong through your wrestling tights. Oh yes. You disgust me. Why do you hate the Punjabi Prison match so much? It's the antithesis of wrestling. Slaw. Confusing. No narrative. Just two lumps lumping lumps out of each other.
[00:13:45] Well less prison break and more shit break. Can you build a Punjabi cage? A Punjabi? What? Are you mad? If it's as confusing as you say it is, it could be the only thing that stops this madness. Just leave it to me, Brock. I've never built anything safe in my life.
[00:16:21] There's a drink every That should do it. I swore to myself I never wanted to see another one of these bastard bamboo boxes I've got in my life. It's broken through the troposphere. Great. Get in. Open door behind you.
[00:16:24] And good luck.
[00:16:25] You're a hell of a yacht.
[00:17:23] Fuck off, I'm in the queue for tacos. What?
[00:17:24] Alex Jinge, no.
[00:17:26] No!
[00:17:27] Nobody gets between me and Awesome Food.
[00:17:32] A tummy leg drop!
[00:17:34] Come on, man, to the temple.
[00:17:38] A twisty leg move, that doesn't have a name yet,
[00:17:40] but I'm going to get one!
[00:17:45] Yeah!
[00:17:46] No! anything these days I'd call them smart tough cars just really quite a pop and become rich beyond me wildest dreams the recipe stays here on Calamino the locals have taken to murder those who try to take it off world I'm getting a lift back with time travel gives me on. Let's put some clothes on, will you? Time travel? What do you mean? Like Arnie in Terminator. They burned off. Well, time travel your backside to Burrito and Shake, pronto. Our Edinburgh Fringe show starts in half an hour.
[00:20:20] Then procure me a coup.
[00:20:24] Onward.
[00:20:26] Wrestling With The Champ was written and produced by