Christmas Comedy Gigs: Part 2 - You Should've Been Here Last Week

[00:00:00] You can count the punters on one hand But not sweet they were completely wrapped

[00:00:12] They were filled up to the gunnold Stave a cueing down the street

[00:00:16] They said you should have been here last week

[00:00:19] I swear you should have been here last week

[00:00:23] Oh yeah, you should, for you comics, the war is over. That's where we are at the minute. Exactly. So we talked to several comics,

[00:01:41] and the first question we asked them was,

[00:01:45] do you like Christmas cakes?

[00:01:47] And you're going to hear answers It's just believe which showed that he not bed is near the higgly. You've never been outside of been dragged out to a comedy like. The reason they shouldn't happen is because the work face will have someone who's in charge of booking events who has the idea of doing comedy. Everyone else does not want to do comedy. But don't matter, does it? Because the person who books it, then they turn up.

[00:03:00] They're looking at you eagerly like, it's going to be funny.

[00:03:03] And the rest of that row are also at their thinking, we want to go bowling.

[00:03:07] That face of like, you're not bowling. I mean, I suppose you know fair enough, probably quite authentic Santa in many ways. Basically, don't bring your best material because no one's going to hear any of it. And if you get to the end of your set and get out of turn alive, let's, uh, ho ho ho. Like the last day of December of November today, really nice cake, civilized grow.

[00:04:22] Tomorrow Christmas madness kicks in. Well, that's hard. I was thinking more yesterday or something. Well, no, you weren't that the day before. Yeah, that's true. The day before yesterday, which was... Another day. Another day, which was a good song. Yeah, it was a good song. You know, we could talk about the Beatles all night and... No, we're talking about Christmas gifts.

[00:05:40] Yeah, Christmas gifts. Tough.

[00:05:43] And the next question we asked these intrepid comedians was,

[00:06:45] good. The money is good. Twice as much money for Christmas games you get for a normal game. Yeah, and then you get three times as much for new years.

[00:06:48] Oh god, yeah, that was... I remember Jean-Glo's New Year's Eve. I never did it,

[00:06:55] but I always was jealous of comedians who did do Jean-Glo's New Year's Eve because I would do

[00:07:00] Jean-Glo's like the weekend before, and it would be a hell of a gig, but it was normal money.

[00:08:09] Chris Kearns, Kerris Nelms, Neil McFarland, Steve N. Allen and finally Alan Francis. Best thing is that they end pretty soon actually, this is our last one.

[00:08:16] The best thing is that, I don't know, is to make you get some chocolates off the staff

[00:08:21] and that's about it really.

[00:08:23] So I mean, I might get thrown your way, but that's a bonus.

[00:08:27] I'll take that so want to be with. They're out with work colleagues. So they have to drink more and could have an amazing gig of those people. I don't know if, you know, funnily enough, the phenomenon of bad gig. I mean, it might be because I'm older and uglier and I've got more experience. I find gigs are not as

[00:09:44] bad now as they used to be. Like Christmas gigs in the 90s the weather. I mean, the weather is awful, isn't it, in the winter? Yeah, but it is in duels. Yeah, that's true. By worst thing, the giant groups that 99% of them don't want to be in a comedy show,

[00:11:00] but one person booked in a comedy show for have the people there, like they are on the duress. The worst thing is we learned nothing. Every year it's a shit show and then become the first of December next year. Everyone decides that work part is in comedy clubs,

[00:12:21] should suddenly be combined and that's proved to be not a good idea. less competent, which is hardly worse. You can do a lot more with a competent heckle and potentially spans a shorter because everyone's got pissed up on shots. You know, heckle, they just talk loudly to each other and you know, and you're like the guy with the microphone, the lights go, excuse me. Last Christmas I had one where

[00:13:42] they were one of the acts had gone on. So on their way out they all left then just hit all the drinks off all the table. Like I'm talking like 20 drinks. They'd also been sick already on the floor so you know it was it was best read but yeah don't ever tell me to fuck off when I'm five gigs in on a buddy on a Christmas weekend. I think it was a Christmas gig in Bournemouth funnily enough like the other nightclub of the same name that runs the night where I

[00:15:02] had a chair thrown at me at a Christmas gig. It was so past my year I bounced off the DJ box

[00:16:03] I said, well, I just, you know, I just wanted to drink several people that really don't turn like that. And that's just just for me, people who think you can just do people

[00:16:06] like it, I've had a few drinks and they just walked into the bar and they just, I just

[00:16:11] thought, not only was she like, so out of order, over the weekend, he thought, I'm

[00:16:16] going to phone up and get someone to sack for this. That kind of like, you know, make

[00:16:20] out of the syndrome. Yeah, it's just fine. I just find quite the staring.

[00:16:24] There was one gig on the Rob's Christmas and long time. She came out late. I was at work, something. Probably she'd been on bad drugs. She'd been vomiting and managed to shit herself all over the floor. And she wouldn't open the door. So she got her boyfriend by him. He was pissed. He goes, I'll climb over, they'll get no. Do not clit- anyway, they were too late.

[00:17:40] He was up there.

[00:17:41] Swan died from the top of the cariboule

[00:17:44] into, like, split his head open

[00:17:46] in a pool love of comedy. And it made me think, yes, he's right. He is right. I mean, we just heard these comics moaning

[00:19:00] and, you know, comedy is great.

[00:19:02] We love doing it.

[00:19:03] It's enjoyable, but we are comics and we love to moan.

[00:19:08] Let's face it. in a bad mood. So we've got that to look forward to as well, haven't we? Yeah, well, don't forget New Year's Eve. Oh, yes. A good thing to finish off this festive podcast is to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. I think I'll be putting this out on Christmas Eve. So, you know, have a wonderful Christmas, all our listeners, all our viewers,