Writing Opportunities
Comedy Football Podcast
Live date: January 2026
Do you know your Haaland from your Finland?
Think you can turn a relegation battle into red hot belly laughs?
Help us build a winning formation!
We’re creating a brand-new comedy podcast celebrating the ridiculous world of football - from the terraces and transfer rumours to fan life in the group chat - and we want you to be part of it.
About the Podcast
This podcast will initially be a six-week audio series from Podomedy running in 2026. Each episode mashes up sketches, chants, pundit parodies and everyday football absurdities. Think Match of the Day meets Mock the Week and The Fast Show, whilst lampooning all kinds of fan and broadcast content.
We’re opening the dressing room to comedy writers and your submissions could feature in the show.
What We Want
Funny pieces that capture football’s truth. We want short sketches, but we also have regular features you can write for, including:
AI Pundit Generator: Fake AI pundits spewing nonsense insight
Fantasy Life: Everyday people managing their lives like their fantasy league team
Five-a-Side: Laugh-out-loud lists
Original chants
Parody interviews
How to Write
Especially for sketches, try to write something self-contained that requires no exposition. Every word in every line should matter and either establish character or move the story forward. The general rule is to keep sketches under two minutes, and everything else under one minute.
Diversity
We want to get into every corner of football and reflect its inclusive nature. We’re keen to hear from everyone, whatever your background, origin or pronouns.
How to Format
Use our handy template to prepare your work for submission.
Top tips:
Two minutes of dialogue is around 250–300 words.
One minute of dialogue is around 120–150 words.
1 page of script = 1 minute of audio at normal pace.
Start strong. Get to the premise within the first 10 seconds.
Keep it visual-in-the-mind. Use sound cues, not stage directions. Think “crowd chanting” rather than “footballer enters”.
Characters: 2–3 max per sketch is enough for comic contrast without confusion.
Dialogue: Keep sentences short; avoid big chunks of narration.
Tag the laugh. End on a clean punchline or strong beat.
Not sure how to format an audio script? This article might help. There’s also a range of online tools that can guide you.
How to Submit
You should compile your written document as a .txt file and send it to us using the below link.
Click here to submit your work
Sorry, postal, email or any other kind of submissions will not be read or returned.
Deadlines
You can submit your best and sharpest material up until 23:59 on December 24th 2025.
Rates
If we use your material, we’ll pay you a one-time buy-out fee. Read terms and conditions. Our current rates are:
£25-50 per sketch
£10-25 per feature
We can't promise to use every submission, but we will read everything that gets sent in. Episodes will feature a mixture of in-house and submitted materials across the series.
Good luck and we look forward to reading your football bangers!
AI Pundit Generator: Fake AI pundits spewing nonsense insight
Fantasy Life: Everyday people managing their lives like their fantasy league team
Five-a-Side: Laugh-out-loud lists
Original chants
Parody interviews
How to Write
Especially for sketches, try to write something self-contained that requires no exposition. Every word in every line should matter and either establish character or move the story forward. The general rule is to keep sketches under two minutes, and everything else under one minute.
Two minutes of dialogue is around 250–300 words.
One minute of dialogue is around 120–150 words.
1 page of script = 1 minute of audio at normal pace.
Start strong. Get to the premise within the first 10 seconds.
Keep it visual-in-the-mind. Use sound cues, not stage directions. Think “crowd chanting” rather than “footballer enters”.
Characters: 2–3 max per sketch is enough for comic contrast without confusion.
Dialogue: Keep sentences short; avoid big chunks of narration.
Tag the laugh. End on a clean punchline or strong beat.