In episode two of Dear Mr. Knickerthief, Sophie and Jahannah are joined by the talented Joe Charman who has brought in his diary for us. We cover teenage life, the sex talk from your parents, leaving home for the city, uni and the education system and being cheated on (Barry the knob is back except we forgot we called him Barry so we called him Harold) and teenage Joe tells us how to make your friends smoke your pubes.
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Oh my God. Oh my God.
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Michael diary entry. I'm sorry, Angie, no, but this
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is this is really horrible. I'll come on weenie person.
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Yeah, country, I mean last night we went to our friend which is
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now Crosstown Jason's house. Jason had never smoked pot.
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Before we got him fudged, with alcohol and pubic hair joints.
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This podcast talks openly about mental health, sex
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relationships, and various other personal subjects that some
00:00:34
people may find triggering. Now, I know what you're
00:00:37
thinking, so I'm just going to explain a little bit.
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Why do you mr. Nick, a thief.
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So, basically long story short, when I was in year 5, I went
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swimming with my class and a guy came in the changing room and
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stole everybody's knickers. So I did what any responsible
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ten-year-old girl would do. And I wrote a letter addressed
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to said, local pedo printed it off and handed out around my
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class. It contained some comedy gold if
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I do say so, myself poetic almost.
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Yeah, not only did little Sophie right to the local paedophile.
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She also wrote to herself every day in her diary and when we
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found it were like this is hilarious.
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People have to hear this though. Your we are okay.
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Oh yeah. Are we all good?
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Hello. And welcome to another episode
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of dear mr. - of course, it's me.
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Sophie Craig, and I'm joined by the gorgeous.
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Joe Charmin? No, no, he's here too, but of
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course that it wouldn't begin with Nick Thief without without
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me. It's Jana.
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Hi Jana. Here she is.
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And this week, we've got a different section of the Diary,
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but before we get started, and FYI, guys, where are we Johanna?
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Oh, we're sitting on the floor. Yeah, I'm a fluffy poof in my
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spare room. We the studio was booked.
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So we've had to compromise and DIY it.
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We are DIY in it. In the living room because it's
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to echoey, we're actually sat in my very small study around the
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sofa, a part of my silver from the living room.
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It's intimate. As the first time Jose come to
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your house. So here's and we've got a lovely
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or kind of like a sleepover Vibe.
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Yeah. Yes.
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Of course we have in here with us.
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Joe. Tell us a bit about yourself.
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Oh God. I that question.
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It's the last question. Tell me is that I'm five foot
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seven. Average height for a man, but
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you have a really colorful mustache.
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Yeah. The mustache is kind of, I think
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an extension of my personality. Mmm.
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I love the mustache. Yeah, keep it.
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When you lack a personality, you just whack a lot of color band
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on stage. I mean we do the same with
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lipsticks. Really, I'm not feel boring like
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a color on the color on my face and it's great was a rumor that
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it was made of beetle. Did you hear that rumor around
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school? What was that?
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Like lipsticks. Crushed an insect.
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Is that true? Yeah, historically.
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Yeah. But I know, I heard a rumor that
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in like, MAC lipsticks. There was whales sperm and I was
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like, whoa. I think that was definitely a
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rumor. Chewing gum whale.
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Blubber did you hear that one? Is that it might, isn't it
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probably was called Wales. Yeah, maybe like in be now
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1. Yeah, 2020 with a walking whale
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blubber until I'm doing go. Think it would smell That's just
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fresh breath. And okay.
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Brilliant, so shall we go live in five straight in, okay.
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And we've got a little surprise you as well little bit later on.
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So let's stay tuned for that. Bad boy, we are the 13th of
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September 2009. Here we go.
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Hi, I'd like to say hi. That's why I hate dogs, do it
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like it's a person. It used to be Tessa when I was
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little. Hi.
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Okay. Well, it's my second day after
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moving to Manchester, I got into drama school and it's called the
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Arden and do musical theater. And so, did my childhood friend
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Brogan and we moved into Manchester student Village
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yesterday. Which by the way, well, it's
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terrible. It was, but it was the worst
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year of my life and okay. That's a slight exaggeration.
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My room is poke, but after moving furniture, Chair.
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And giving it my own touch. It really looks like home.
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You're on this morning you didn't like a home on
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consideration. I'm now an adult.
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This is basically how I write terrible and my Omaima my uni
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window had bars like out the window Manchester and we got it
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super super cheap because it was right above a pub, the student
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Pub. And so have bars on the Windows,
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every night it would vibrate because of like, it's yeah, it
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was awful anyway and a drunk man that sits on.
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Steps outside. There's some prostitutes near
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drama school and a man was getting arrested on the stairs
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as I moved in, welcome to the city me to the bright lights of
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Manchester. Well, I mean I'm sure there's
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plenty of other things that is just niceties just a prostitute
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Thief. I'm not singing.
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Yeah, it was, you're awake. Why is that woman wearing stuck?
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Come on a Tuesday afternoon and we have a flatmate called tina.
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She's from China, she's washing things in the bathroom sink and
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she's wearing a men's Face Pack and her beans are in the
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cupboard. But she's adorable.
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It's like I don't I don't you didn't get Tina.
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No no she didn't choose to come out of her room at 3:00 a.m. on
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the phone and that was the only time I ever saw her.
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And she saw these prunes and salt in the toilet, what in the
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toilet or Inlet by her taught by the toilet bowl, a bag of prunes
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and a jar of table salt. That's what you get the pronoun.
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Yeah, help a go a lot quicker. Yeah, The Salted away but maybe
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she was worried about witches, just a little circle of salt, it
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was weird, there's no windows in any of the bathrooms, the
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shower, there wasn't a window in the kitchen.
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The only window was the one in your bedroom with bars on with
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bars on it. Yeah.
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Prison or essentially I moved to prison.
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I went out for a meal last night with mum and dad.
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They stayed at a hotel. I know why?
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Then we went looking for the Arden today.
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Wow, very long walk. I wish I had my car.
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I felt like such a geek. I love how I survived Manchester
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been so naive and geeky. Well, I didn't at me and Brogan
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I gonna end up looking like Twigs.
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We went shopping before to Mia, who is my little sister?
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She'd just been born, it's just been taken to Manchester a any
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though she's been sick and is purely, I hope she gets better
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soon. What was the name of cold that
00:07:22
ex-boyfriend in one of the episodes?
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Harold, Bobby Harrell, the feel like it was a Herald.
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Brian lion. Basically, we're missing his
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name from The Diary from will refer to him as Harold, but he's
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back Harold's back, Harold's back.
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Think it was Harold Harold, came to help set up my room yesterday
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and then caught the train back to Blackpool for the rest of his
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Lance weekend. Bless him.
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I've had an eventful summer, I was nearly a full time character
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in hollyoaks. You see, Again again.
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How many hollyoaks and things have been auditions?
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Have you had since then seven? Yeah.
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Never gonna get on the Never Gonna Let Her On.
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I went to Spain. Went to Wales and I met Harold
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dad. Mental?
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Most awesome was absolute to my fish here too.
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Ha, ha ha. Oh, you wild child speaking your
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fish into uni. Most people are like off their
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face on ketamine dealing. Her arms and you've sneak
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General fishes in Papa's in the card on.
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I'm like, I've ordered the wrong books for uni and I've read the
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wrong one. Oh God, my hands are getting.
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So now love Sophie. Oh and just as a PS, I wrote
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down my ear level results. Oh wow.
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Oh my God. A English be biology or Cas
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English. A, I missed off physics.
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I missed off chemistry because they were really crappy.
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How many a-levels did you do? Okay, so I didn't more than the
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normal person. Yeah, because I did three of
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that I dropped one because I was.
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Yeah, I did five. I studied at the University of
00:09:12
Life, guys, I better there we are.
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Doesn't make a difference. And I still went to drama school
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and it just has side note for the record Harold, cheated on me
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the night, he went to Blackpool, what a dick, what the end and
00:09:30
that concludes that diary entry. So your boyfriend drop you off
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at Uni and then when offer Lads weekend and the minute he was
00:09:41
free of you check someone else. Yeah.
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Oh, he's nice and he Harold that he was Guy drunkard, those
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results. Absolutely.
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Look at what you could have had. I gotta be in my ology I'm just
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caught a glimpse at the front cover of the diary.
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That is, I mean, nothing screams teenage rebellion more than
00:10:03
fairy Secrets diary it's covered in glitter and fairies this is
00:10:08
because it's the same day we from Christmas 2001 and I
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started it. And yes, six.
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So it's the same diary, it's gone, right?
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The way through, but I also have like a whole, you know, there's
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a whole basement. I all of Diaries volumes.
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Yeah. They have like, literally I
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picked up at different times and just but wrote in them.
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So yeah, that was that. So there we go.
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How I hope. You said Harold, I'm keeping the
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fish. I'm gonna have to change the
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fish's name. The fish is name was Ferdinand.
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Oh yeah, then he died. And I got two more and called
00:10:48
them Babs and cans. I always had a pet.
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Yeah. Yeah.
00:10:52
How was your day you and did you go?
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You need of life. Oh, you went to the school,
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which is a lot cheaper. Yeah, well some would say, I
00:11:01
mean, depends I left school with one.
00:11:06
GCSE essentially And I star in our everything else.
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Wow. Yeah I mean wow but considering
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everything else was no. I think days and he's yeah.
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But that shows that you're creative.
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It's I wish Peter. I wish at the time I had that
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kind of reaction from my parents.
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Yeah because they weren't pleased.
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I got 12 13 20 see Tennis. Have you used any of them at no,
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drama and dance? Yeah, all the creative stuff.
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Nobody, I mean, media, studies. Media studies are going to start
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media studies. I guess that's kind of what I
00:11:47
do. I was not allowed to do drama.
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What's you wanted to? But I did our woodwork graphics
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and then because I chose drama that like, you can't just have
00:11:58
all the fun subjects so they wouldn't physically.
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Let me do drama. They made me do double science.
00:12:05
I did double size and I loved it.
00:12:06
I got stabbed. I just need the Bunsen burner on
00:12:11
and see how quickly I could Evacuate the class I smell gas -
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gotta get out legally. We have to leave the classroom.
00:12:18
I was great. I grew up in born with those
00:12:20
like this little town in Hertfordshire.
00:12:22
So, I mean, it didn't really matter what you're left with,
00:12:25
everyone was going to get little jobs on the High Street or
00:12:28
factory work, so it was something that simulates in my
00:12:32
father to any of our lives. Know what I found out yesterday.
00:12:34
I met a man from Texas and he would talk about school system
00:12:38
randomly. This is relevant, and he was
00:12:41
saying that the, the whole school system in America is just
00:12:44
ridiculous because it's all multiple choice, everything
00:12:47
every test. So, we're in England, we have to
00:12:49
learn stuff. Usually, you should use to use
00:12:52
your brain. Yeah, you have to, like, learn
00:12:53
stuff to then regurgitate it and it's how well you remember, what
00:12:57
you've learned? Whereas in American school
00:12:59
system, everything every test is multiple choice.
00:13:01
So that there is a 25% Chance that you could just guess that,
00:13:05
right? Yeah.
00:13:07
And then he said that, I was out of the 20 out of the four
00:13:09
questions. Two of them are similar to catch
00:13:12
you out. And two of them are like,
00:13:14
obviously wrong. So it's 50/50 it's a 50/50
00:13:18
chance really that, you're gonna get it right or wrong.
00:13:21
I mean, that goes a long way in explaining just Trump.
00:13:24
Yeah, multiple choice because president there is, is this fake
00:13:31
nails? Like new?
00:13:32
Like, my real news, Is or not real nude.
00:13:35
That is a in the news recently. The moment there is I think he's
00:13:40
nine or ten, but with an IQ of 149 and he has been offered
00:13:46
places at some of the top universities like Oxford
00:13:49
Cambridge. And like he's on a like he's
00:13:52
going to pass University. I don't know.
00:13:54
He's cleverer than like, that's like that's like Sheldon out of
00:13:59
Big Bang Theory. Like, I don't know what I can.
00:14:01
I don't know what I can means. I'm like, I've never done like
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you. Of you.
00:14:04
What did? And it wasn't too bad.
00:14:06
What did you get? I can't remember, but I remember
00:14:08
thinking. Oh, oh, you surprised yourself,
00:14:10
rise. How, what is an IQ test?
00:14:12
Like, is it think everything below 90 is like, sorry, guys.
00:14:35
If you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will
00:14:38
spend it's whole life believing that it's not, it's not worth
00:14:41
anything. I thought you could help me out.
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It will spend its whole life that I do.
00:14:44
Love a good way of letting me know that I'm a bit dumb.
00:14:49
No. Because if you judge a fish by
00:14:53
its ability to climb a tree and it will spend its whole life
00:14:56
thinking that it's like dumb. But if fish can swim is like the
00:15:00
best. But if you judge it on its
00:15:01
ability to climb a tree in that and only that Yeah, it's like
00:15:04
it's like the school system isn't.
00:15:05
It's like he said like with your art things like why can't we
00:15:08
just let him do? All the art subjects.
00:15:10
I see excels in and that's what he's going to go forward and do
00:15:13
and probably the world. That's like my brother went to
00:15:15
University and studied art and he didn't get a good grade as he
00:15:19
could have in our because of the writing side, right?
00:15:22
Because he can't explain his are in paragraphs and paragraphs of
00:15:26
writing, it didn't matter how good the art was, it was how
00:15:29
much intellectual lie, he could big up, you could have drawn a
00:15:33
line, Line on a page, providing it came with eight pages of
00:15:37
synopsis about why that is our genius.
00:15:40
Yeah, that's the thing. You're not going to get a
00:15:42
commission. Be like, can you make me this
00:15:44
please for my beautiful house but also, can you do me a ten
00:15:47
thousand word essay on it as well?
00:15:49
So that's not I'm not going to so subjective right?
00:15:52
What? Exactly, I think that to my
00:15:55
piece of GCSE, my final piece of GCSE.
00:15:57
I did a painting and it got stolen from the art cupboard.
00:16:00
This one is hung in your house. No, it got stolen.
00:16:03
Were you got still? I've never seen it again.
00:16:05
FYI, Johanna has a big mural in a house of just her face that
00:16:09
she painted like and it's like of different like B after
00:16:12
Hannah, my mom framed it and then yeah, like is really about
00:16:17
nobody stole that one. Did they?
00:16:20
I stole the nice view that I painted.
00:16:22
I painted a view but look though, it's like all the
00:16:24
different sides of you, isn't it?
00:16:26
Yeah that was it was cool. I really it's really cool, it
00:16:28
was a self-portrait but they stole and I was really annoyed
00:16:32
but then I was also really You flattered my heart.
00:16:36
I remember doing one of Beyonce. Oh, and I thought I was amazing.
00:16:40
I was like this is what portrait Beyonce.
00:16:44
You still got it? No, no.
00:16:48
I'm gonna be in that year. Three, you need to pick those
00:16:50
paper plates, like the Greek place to remember and it got
00:16:53
entered into the north Lonsdale art competition.
00:16:55
I got a second prize ribbon, my devastated, I was it mother, and
00:17:02
father threw me out. I know, I don't know how, I
00:17:05
don't know where that came from, like, the whole being bright
00:17:08
because I was also, the really chatty mixture of everything.
00:17:11
And I just, I just loved school. And I Learning and don't know
00:17:14
what happened. It really like school.
00:17:17
I nearly fell down my gcses. I in my test mop exams, I got
00:17:21
D's and F's and my parents were like mortified, and they were
00:17:25
very serious with me. And they thought, right?
00:17:26
How can we encourage her? We will pay you to do your
00:17:30
gcses. So they dangled money in front
00:17:34
of me and they said that they would give me 50 pounds for
00:17:37
every a vicky864, an a 44, ab10, For a c or something like that.
00:17:45
And I was like, you're on it, worked and but and she made 12
00:17:50
pounds refused to admit that I was actually, like, revising or
00:17:57
getting on with it because I was too cool to look.
00:17:58
Like I was studying so I get up an hour early each day and go to
00:18:02
school early and spend 45 minutes on my own just cramming.
00:18:05
So that in the evening, I could watch TV and my mom be like,
00:18:07
shouldn't you be studying a night?
00:18:09
Yeah. Whatever.
00:18:10
Not bothered. And then ended up like, actually
00:18:13
Nobody see my parents over 360 pounds.
00:18:17
They they did not believe that they thought I was gonna get up
00:18:19
to movies, see, but I ended up. Yeah, and they paid up.
00:18:23
I made wallpaper. What?
00:18:27
One wall was the biology wall in my bedroom.
00:18:31
The other wall was my English language wall in my bedroom, the
00:18:36
other wall was chemistry wall or ceiling that you have lost.
00:18:42
So many cool boy. Points.
00:18:43
Literally, it was like lines and lines and lines.
00:18:47
And lines of A4 paper also attempt to cross that wallpaper.
00:18:50
And I would read each wall before I went to bed in the
00:18:52
evening. And then, I will also sleep on
00:18:53
my books in the hope that it would absorb into my brain.
00:18:57
Oh my God. Just a pillow of the periodic
00:19:00
table. Yes.
00:19:03
Jose little just looking at me shaking his head.
00:19:05
No, because I, I got right. Yeah, to pass my gcses left with
00:19:11
no money. And my bedroom was black, black
00:19:17
bedroom, all the walls black. Oh, wow.
00:19:21
A big skull on the wall. That was what I had in my heart.
00:19:25
I feel it's just pulls apart, isn't it?
00:19:27
I just I think the only the only thing that I possibly had on my
00:19:32
wall was maybe when I was about five.
00:19:34
I maybe had one of those charts. You've got fruit with the Daily
00:19:37
Mail, very different fish. I think I used to sing the
00:19:42
periodic table, I made songs up for it.
00:19:44
So I remembered them, my physics teacher in a level hated me
00:19:48
because obviously, I'm not the sort of person you would expect
00:19:51
to take a level physics right now, you are exactly.
00:19:56
No, obviously. These people were quiet.
00:19:59
They had, they were like, beavering away.
00:20:02
So when I came bouncing in with little strappy dress on was like
00:20:05
a Thursday of Jian and he was just like, Sofia.
00:20:10
That's how I feel today. You little love.
00:20:14
Yeah, but we have got some where she, we've got a little surprise
00:20:17
for you are today. Actually, Joe has brought in his
00:20:21
diary. Oh, yes you did.
00:20:24
Yeah. All right.
00:20:26
Now this this was a year. My life in 2004, that is a
00:20:32
beautiful diary. It's not a diary so much because
00:20:36
it is just lots and lots of drawings and scribblings, but
00:20:39
there are little pieces in there like this.
00:20:41
For example, oh my gosh, in 2004, Hannah, your current hair
00:20:49
entwined. My wife.
00:20:51
Oh wow. So, there are little bits in
00:20:55
there that are like it's just for the audience, take a
00:20:57
picture. Fur is white, right?
00:21:00
Hannah as a goth for the audio description.
00:21:02
There's your current wife as a young person when we first
00:21:06
started dating on the 17th for the fifth 2004.
00:21:09
But yeah, it was amazing. I love heart.
00:21:12
That's so cute. Yes.
00:21:13
And I also had that love heart picture on my skateboard.
00:21:18
Yeah, that's true. Love that is if you get one that
00:21:20
is in 2004. Oh my goodness.
00:21:24
So it's like little glimpses into my life.
00:21:28
Do you have anything you can read for?
00:21:31
I'll go on. They have like I see some last
00:21:33
time status and so this is my hair.
00:21:36
That is actually the how long you cut your hair off and stuff
00:21:39
it in your butt. Itches long for the listeners.
00:21:42
There is a a clump of Joe's hair that is about 8 inches, long is
00:21:47
measured it and labeled it and it is stuck with see-through
00:21:50
sellotape into his diary. I don't know that the and I
00:21:54
signed everything, I was convinced signed the end of my
00:21:57
door. I was like Like going to be
00:22:00
famous. Yeah.
00:22:01
Well you are well online for there we are.
00:22:05
But what's this was extracted at the 21st of the 4th 2004 at 6:15
00:22:10
p.m. X-15 precisely, but they're up.
00:22:13
There are some bits in there that is just sick but I also I
00:22:16
look at this and I think that's forensic evidence expert.
00:22:19
Thanks. Look at that.
00:22:20
He's no, it's the date the time, he's encapsulated it forever.
00:22:24
It's encapsulated. I think that's this piece of
00:22:27
hair is. Is not a inches long, but is as
00:22:30
much as I could cut off, but then I remember I just had like,
00:22:32
one random little tuft. Yeah.
00:22:35
Well, you chopped it. Oh wow, what an incredible
00:22:38
artist. Yeah, so, this, this was my
00:22:41
friend, Pete Lander. Then there was just this thing
00:22:44
that we've just kept saying, people, & abunda Panda.
00:22:48
So naturally, I made two pages and it is weird.
00:22:53
Honestly, I think we love, it doesn't make sense to anyone.
00:22:56
Who has that peat land above. A panda Pizza bandha, bandha
00:23:00
Panda. My mum liquor panda is weird
00:23:06
because this is a 16 year old but we just, can we just say
00:23:10
something wrong? You've all ripped me for my
00:23:12
diary know, we've opened this and the first three lot.
00:23:15
First thing we saw was a piece of Jaws hair, cut off, and sell
00:23:18
a tipped in, and then a whole two-page spread on pandas being
00:23:22
bummed abused. Pandas, don't recover, you see
00:23:25
that? Wow, it's an artifact.
00:23:32
It's weird. I was very into the Matrix.
00:23:35
These were all my stickers from my pack.
00:23:37
Lunches mom, used to put my sandwiches in sticker.
00:23:40
I love sandwiches lipstick. Wow, this is beautiful.
00:23:46
A man with a fuck. A man with no face.
00:23:50
Can't see in a mirror also poked him in here.
00:23:53
Wow. And there's an eyeball with an
00:23:55
honestly, honestly. She's making me so intensely hot
00:24:00
your oh my God. I don't think anyone outside of
00:24:07
my friend group or seeing this oh my God oh my God re-entry I'm
00:24:12
sorry Angie. No but this is this is really
00:24:14
horrible and I'm coming. Beanie person.
00:24:16
Yeah last night we went to our friend which is now Crosstown
00:24:22
Jason's house. Jason had never smoked pot.
00:24:26
Before we go Got him fudged, with alcohol and pubic hair
00:24:32
joint is not speaking to you. So we did some stuff to him and
00:24:47
his room and we stole some things.
00:24:50
Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha.
00:24:52
Ha. Shaving foam cut down the bog.
00:24:55
Upside-down posters water on his crotch.
00:24:58
I hand washed his face and then he just got picture of Jason
00:25:02
there and it's labeled knob. Now, I feel, I feel really bad,
00:25:07
but I feel that I must put this into converted on his face.
00:25:10
All right, I mean, oh my God. This was like a mental night.
00:25:14
Basically, this kid Jason had a free house and we all went to
00:25:17
his house as you do. You know what I mean?
00:25:19
We didn't have to UNI life, so that was our, yeah.
00:25:22
We should inflicting that kind of stuff, basically, the city
00:25:24
with uni. Yeah.
00:25:26
But I mean I can't I can't back that up with him if that was a
00:25:31
mean mean nice. I mean I think is so Larry was
00:25:34
just brilliant. It's memorable.
00:25:36
I love it. That's the first diary entry
00:25:37
because this is brilliant. We should do this.
00:25:40
As a feature, more have have the guests bring in their Diaries.
00:25:44
I think I got every time I see like a paragraph and right?
00:25:47
And I'm like, what's this? Okay.
00:25:51
We're going to delve into that a little bit more, but I think
00:25:53
this moves us very nice. Oh yeah.
00:25:55
On to the next section of the show College studies.
00:25:58
Well, you guys have got in touch with us.
00:26:04
Right? Yes, we do a call to action.
00:26:07
Every podcast we want to hear your your problems or your
00:26:10
embarrassing stories or your diary entries, if you have them,
00:26:14
we would love you guys to get involved.
00:26:15
So I've gone through and I've selected some juicy ones but
00:26:19
this week. So I think we're gonna have a
00:26:21
little bit of advice giving now. Okay, because I've read you guys
00:26:25
a very quality of you, we just cool down.
00:26:29
Okay, here's the first one from anonymous.
00:26:35
My boyfriend's parents caught us having sex.
00:26:39
They were supposed to be away for the weekend but they came
00:26:41
home and found me naked in the living room, his mum Clearly Now
00:26:46
hates me dad Smiles, at me. Weird.
00:26:48
I'm, uh, I'm 23. I feel like I should address
00:26:53
this with them, but everyone's just acting normal.
00:26:57
What should I do? Burst in on all of them, whilst
00:27:00
they're having a shower, just equalize.
00:27:02
The whole thing I've seen you, you've seen me, let's forget
00:27:04
that. Yeah, I get that, it's
00:27:09
embarrassing. However, at 23 years old, sex is
00:27:15
very normal. It's a normal thing, your
00:27:18
parents Jack I mean, yeah, but it's like it's more Awkward if
00:27:24
it's like, oh, what is it more Awkward?
00:27:26
If is your parents or your partner's head?
00:27:28
But if they're smiling at you that it's just kind of like
00:27:31
that's not like I'd Rather somebody smile at me and be a
00:27:34
little bit creepy, a little bit awkward in.
00:27:35
Like I know you've been doing its job.
00:27:39
Yeah. As opposed to not wanting to
00:27:41
even look at you. We're gonna be mortified either
00:27:43
way, absolutely mortified, either way.
00:27:45
Yeah, and it's like that teenage thing.
00:27:46
Isn't it? When you first sort of start
00:27:48
with, like, you? All right, girlfriend boyfriend
00:27:51
and like, you know, you're upstairs and you're like, well,
00:27:53
their mum or dad or go whatever could just come in the room at
00:27:56
any given moment and it's literally, yeah, I've had a few
00:27:58
of those. Yeah, I think you get, I was
00:28:02
like, but basically, my mum was obviously fearful that I would
00:28:06
end up getting a girl pregnant When We Were Young.
00:28:08
Yeah. So she just used to buy me
00:28:10
condoms. And that was always a very
00:28:12
awkward thing. It's like, I've become
00:28:13
accustomed to it. It was just to buy them.
00:28:16
And then eventually, she I think she just kind of stopped and I
00:28:19
know Remember to write another shop in this, don't forget
00:28:21
wakanda. So I think but I think that
00:28:25
that's, I've never had that kind of relationship with my dad.
00:28:28
That's a very just stay away from.
00:28:31
Yeah, I have a spot diaper, that's good, isn't it?
00:28:36
Yeah, my mum annoying me. I was the only girl who's.
00:28:39
I'm the only girl in this brothers.
00:28:40
And my mom said, okay, I'll take the girl.
00:28:42
You take the boys and I got the worst ones.
00:28:46
My mom was like an in-depth and apparently.
00:28:49
Yeah. She's just, she will talk about
00:28:51
anything, watch it, which I think is brilliant.
00:28:53
But my mom was here, she was giving sex talks to my friend.
00:28:57
Yeah, so embarrassing, I want another level.
00:28:59
No, but then my brother told me that dad, my dad tried to have a
00:29:03
sex talk with him in the car. And he said it was the most
00:29:06
awkward thing and they were driving on the motorway and dad
00:29:08
was trying to be like, so the birds and the bees.
00:29:10
Yeah, and apparently, they was like a silence that my brother
00:29:13
just went. Oh, look sheep.
00:29:19
So I never had the talk, never never, never been given the
00:29:24
talk. If I made a joke, I think I've
00:29:25
said this before, if I made a joke and it had the word condom
00:29:28
in it but I was like how dare you watch somebody kissed me on
00:29:32
the cheek. He wouldn't speak to me like you
00:29:34
know I think it's like I don't think I ever had like a full
00:29:37
tour. Get yeah.
00:29:39
The condoms. I think it is enough of a talk
00:29:41
that's like a physical. Just more of like a little nod.
00:29:44
Yeah we both know. I think I remember this safely
00:29:47
if you got into. Yeah, I remember walking around.
00:29:49
back of McDonald's and the only time I'm um I really remember my
00:29:52
mom saying something to me about it was The pill was like, if
00:29:57
you're very different different
00:30:16
different because my parents were real Christians.
00:30:22
And so, sex was an absolute. No, no wait.
00:30:25
Marriage. Oh yeah.
00:30:26
You have to be married for that stuff.
00:30:28
So it was like it was. Yeah.
00:30:29
It was quite heavy a heavy. We didn't talk about.
00:30:33
It wasn't like an old be safe. It was like don't do it again
00:30:35
but I got help station. But yeah in regards to being 23
00:30:40
I think I don't think approached it.
00:30:42
I think leave it be. It's done.
00:30:43
Everybody does it and I think you make something bigger out of
00:30:45
it if you make it into a thing that needs addressing.
00:30:48
Yeah. I would leave it.
00:30:49
Yeah, I think it is one of them that.
00:30:50
I mean, if the relationship keeps going well, you end up
00:30:53
getting married is something that you can all Look back on
00:30:55
and laugh until just disappear. Yes!
00:30:57
Sort of become just part of that relationship story.
00:31:03
Now, here's one has, which is interesting.
00:31:05
Interesting topic for the modern world.
00:31:08
I have a flaky friend says something else though.
00:31:13
I know that Quinn frog. Girl.
00:31:17
I have a flaky friend. She makes me feel insignificant
00:31:20
and unimportant. She either shows up late or not
00:31:22
at all. How do I dress this?
00:31:24
What do I do? That's a tough.
00:31:27
One is a tough one because I've had flaky friends and I too have
00:31:33
been flaky, but it doesn't mean that I love them.
00:31:35
Any less exact because they are fundamentally a friend.
00:31:39
Yeah, there are a few friends, I know that bailout and they have
00:31:42
the most absurd reasons, and then you actually know that
00:31:45
they're going through a bit of a mental health crisis, that I've
00:31:48
got social anxiety. Yes.
00:31:50
And that is what I do. I project and try to find
00:31:52
reasons not to be in situation, but actually it's just Just that
00:31:55
you don't want to be there, right?
00:31:56
Yeah, that that is a kind of a hard thing to say to people,
00:32:00
it's like, I'm just not feeling up to it.
00:32:02
Especially if you're around a group of friends that like
00:32:05
drinking or like socializing, you don't want to seem like the
00:32:08
freak because you're just kind of happy to be alone.
00:32:11
So that's a tough one. It's flaky in which
00:32:14
circumstances and how much, you know about the person that's
00:32:17
being flaky. I think that's something that
00:32:20
then she should perhaps speak is issue or he is she, I think you
00:32:24
should perhaps a Look. Is there something going on that
00:32:28
you want to talk about? Maybe give them the opportunity
00:32:31
to open up? Yeah.
00:32:33
And then I think if the genuinely isn't and it is just
00:32:35
genuinely because they're just does not good at time keeping
00:32:38
other little bit maybe self-centered then maybe address
00:32:40
in just say look this isn't cool it's me it's upsetting me.
00:32:44
I think the two ways to go about it, given the opportunity to be
00:32:47
open and start a conversation, and then you find an
00:32:49
understanding and you can empathize.
00:32:51
Yeah, if not it is one of those situations.
00:32:54
We like what you want to do tomorrow.
00:32:57
I am too busy and then you see on Facebook they're out with a
00:32:59
whole other group. Yeah, that's a little bit.
00:33:03
I think we're really good at that.
00:33:04
To be fair will be. Oh my God.
00:33:05
I'll see you tomorrow. And then like will matter what?
00:33:08
Like one of us awake for the morning.
00:33:09
Be that I cannot be asked today and I'm like the other person's
00:33:12
like, oh, good. Meaning that we'll see you next
00:33:14
week or two, you know, you just. It depends, doesn't it?
00:33:17
I think that you are the most unfair lakeya's friend.
00:33:19
Yeah. Oh, really.
00:33:21
Yeah, I mean, but I have moments.
00:33:23
Don't I? Wear.
00:33:24
I've wronged you and I'm like, I can't having a panic attack.
00:33:26
Yeah. Intention is always to turn up
00:33:29
to everything for everyone. Yeah, you've been good that
00:33:32
she's been good at saying, you can say no and I think that's
00:33:34
what's been nice. Yeah.
00:33:37
But I think it is and you're not flake either though.
00:33:38
But I know I'm not going to that really?
00:33:42
Yeah, which is good and I think. Yeah.
00:33:44
I think that's good. I'm really good at so maybe
00:33:45
she's setting boundaries of managing expectations.
00:33:48
Maybe that's what friends do it. Yeah.
00:33:50
I think start really open conversation and because would
00:33:52
like your friends. Yes, you should be able to have
00:33:55
a conversation. Say like, hey, I'm Noah You like
00:33:58
when you when you don't turn up to stuff I know it's because
00:34:01
you're going through something. Yeah.
00:34:02
But it I can't help but make me feel like I'm not very
00:34:04
important. Yeah I prefer that.
00:34:06
You just be real with me so that I can just shut that voice that
00:34:09
I'm not enough. Yeah, because it creates anxiety
00:34:11
for the other person as well. Sometimes, doesn't it for sure
00:34:13
because you could shut down while that person.
00:34:15
Yeah. I think read the situation wrong
00:34:17
and then they could think that you're and it's a vicious
00:34:19
circle. Yeah.
00:34:20
Especially if it is somebody suffering with anxiety and
00:34:23
that's the reason they don't want to come the last thing they
00:34:25
want to do is let somebody else down.
00:34:27
Down because then they'll get anxiety about that as well.
00:34:29
So, yeah, I think open conversation and this one, I
00:34:32
really wanted to bring to the table because we have a man in
00:34:37
the room. Okay.
00:34:38
Interesting subject. So it says my husband used to be
00:34:41
the breadwinner but he lost his job while I gained one.
00:34:45
So now we've swapped and I'm now the breadwinner.
00:34:47
My husband says he's very proud of me, but I feel like he has a
00:34:50
problem with it. So like would does it matter who
00:34:56
owns what? And where, As a guy, does it
00:35:00
affect your ego is good? This is a good.
00:35:03
This is why I wrote this. Yeah, well, I mean, Hannah loves
00:35:07
a podcast, so I'm a bit worried. She might, listen, I was window
00:35:12
cleaner to 10 years, and it wasn't very well paid.
00:35:16
It was just a job that said me. So when the whole social media
00:35:20
thing started and I got a career and brand deals, it changed my
00:35:25
life completely. And I got a lip, not an ego
00:35:29
around it, but Hannah is a very, very clever.
00:35:33
Girl, she's had producer jobs and worked in big Industries,
00:35:36
and she's always done well. So there was that year where I
00:35:41
finally felt like, I've matched it and I've gone beyond and I'm
00:35:44
a person that I don't know, because we broke up for like 45
00:35:47
years. So then, when we got back
00:35:49
together, I felt like in a position where it's like, she
00:35:52
just got back to a window cleaner, any more like I've kind
00:35:54
of done something with it. But then as social, Over the
00:35:57
years, he popularity goes down, hands, just kept going up, and
00:36:01
she gets promotions and stuff. So, there is that it's a very
00:36:04
weird feeling but ultimately now she's my wife.
00:36:09
It doesn't matter. What iron doesn't matter what
00:36:11
she ate. Yeah, it's a collective early.
00:36:12
Yeah, we're raising a child. So everything we whatever it is
00:36:16
goes into the house, goes into our car goes into our holidays.
00:36:20
No one is earning money to better the other person so that
00:36:23
feeling was around, maybe. My mid-20s to coming up to 30
00:36:29
that obviously every diet, you know, in movies and everything.
00:36:33
Wants to be there is like a social pressure.
00:36:35
I think our men to be that one that opens it and the same with
00:36:39
mums, they're expected to be the mom, the stay-at-home mum.
00:36:42
Yeah but when it's the other way around Suddenly It's like oh
00:36:44
you're out working in the dads are hoping it's not.
00:36:46
So I kind of felt that as well. Yeah because of working from
00:36:50
home that's having that responsibility of looking after
00:36:53
George in the first year when I was a stay-at-home dad, but I
00:36:56
think it It's, again, it's the social Norm side of things.
00:36:59
It makes it any different. Why wouldn't I be immensely?
00:37:01
Proud of how much money my girlfriend can?
00:37:03
And it's, it'll, my wife is, it's a joint effort now.
00:37:07
But yeah, I can certainly see that.
00:37:10
Why there? Would ya?
00:37:12
Yes, I can't lie. It's been in my head.
00:37:14
Yeah, it with the first started my relationship.
00:37:17
When I first started day in my husband, it was the other way
00:37:22
around. I was the one that was earning
00:37:24
and he was, I had my own flat, I had this.
00:37:26
I heard that I was presenting. Went in on a sky, I had like a
00:37:29
good steady income and and he was working part time, he said
00:37:33
with his mum's, I funded everything, I had the car, I had
00:37:36
everything, I very him around and then we've been together,
00:37:40
seven years and the tables have turned in the last two or three,
00:37:44
where he's doing really well, and he's earning the money, but
00:37:46
there are times when, you know, I've had to cover the rent or
00:37:49
he's at to cover the red but it's just the way it is.
00:37:51
And I think it's, but I do feel like a lot of men.
00:37:54
Struggle with the idea that they aren't.
00:37:57
The Breadwinner because of the way that society makes them
00:38:02
feel, would you agree Joe and yeah, yeah, I've had I've
00:38:05
struggled before with with the boyfriend who really his ego
00:38:10
couldn't handle the fact, and he to the point where he even
00:38:13
requested that he had to be paid more than me on jobs, and it was
00:38:17
just a bit mad, why that's so wrong?
00:38:21
Because, girl, that is what's the problem with Society.
00:38:24
Nowadays, the fact that women are getting equal pay.
00:38:26
Let's have Her boyfriend, step in and go actually, you're doing
00:38:29
the same job as me. We both did the same thing but I
00:38:31
should be paid more than usual is disgusting.
00:38:34
Yeah. Or have an issue.
00:38:36
If you had more followers than them or things like it was like,
00:38:39
it rightly was just sorry, just to clarify, johana, you've dated
00:38:43
people within the same industry? Yeah.
00:38:45
I've dated other content creation has become an issue
00:38:47
with like, oh, you know, yeah, I'm really happy for you.
00:38:52
As long as your video doesn't get more video views their mind
00:38:54
and it's like the end that's why that's a sort of good
00:38:56
relationship. And I go over like red flag, red
00:38:58
flag learners. But yeah, well, I think in
00:39:01
conclusion, it should have been a few, our partnership.
00:39:03
I think I'm of the view. I'm all-in.
00:39:05
Yeah. Yeah.
00:39:06
Interview. I contribute and you contribute
00:39:08
as much as you can and if you do, you can contribute is a
00:39:11
window cleaner than your still smashing it.
00:39:13
Yeah, exactly. It's knowing your worth, isn't
00:39:15
it? And your self-worth.
00:39:16
And, as long as you can, at the end of the day say, I've worked
00:39:19
as hard as I can. Yeah.
00:39:20
And then appreciate yourself and your partner and your
00:39:23
relationship as long as you can cherish that relationship and
00:39:25
offer. If it's not money, you can offer
00:39:29
maybe emotional support as like in the same way, it doesn't
00:39:33
money is nothing. I would rather, I've always said
00:39:35
this was when I'd rather than a tent with you and you give me
00:39:37
the emotional support that I need.
00:39:39
Then feel like, I don't know you and you just throw money at me.
00:39:42
Everybody is part of everyone's life.
00:39:44
So it's going to be part of every relationship but it
00:39:46
shouldn't be the basis or surround all of your
00:39:49
relationships. I'll cover the holiday.
00:39:53
You cook my dinners for a month. Great not to any first.
00:39:57
He would sit down and be like, so how much you learning they
00:39:59
tell you you go. Yeah, it's like that size of the
00:40:03
social thing. So why would it come into a
00:40:04
relationship that you've built up?
00:40:06
Not taste of so many other things?
00:40:08
Yeah, it's not a business relationship.
00:40:10
And if it is and she a gold digger or here, go get out, get
00:40:14
out. Okay, it gold diggers and in
00:40:16
conclusion of thoughts, a funny one.
00:40:19
Hopefully start. Yeah.
00:40:20
Okay, so I was in a park and a lady loudly called out anyone
00:40:26
who wants an ice cream, come over here.
00:40:28
So I headed over with several others.
00:40:30
And she handed out the ice cream to the mall and then she asked
00:40:32
me, who are you? I realized the rest will all her
00:40:34
family. Absolutely, and I think that,
00:40:48
that is fantastic. Well, thank you so much.
00:40:57
So for joining us today, we're we're kind.
00:40:59
Everybody find you own everything.
00:41:04
Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I doing the rounds on social
00:41:06
media. So, Joe Charming is most of my,
00:41:09
our handles pushing pushing on Tick-Tock.
00:41:13
Oh yeah, Tick-Tock. Yeah, with all the kids Joe is
00:41:17
also a writer create, an amazing artist.
00:41:20
FYI is not going to say it himself.
00:41:21
So we'll say it for him. We definitely going to post
00:41:23
pictures of that, of your of your dog.
00:41:25
Won't give you a few We'll go for a more, find some allocated
00:41:29
pages that I don't like being out there and lays it until next
00:41:34
time. Make sure that you follow us on
00:41:36
social and get involved as well. We need to hear your
00:41:38
embarrassing stories and your Agony, Aunt letters so send them
00:41:41
in, send them into a James and Craig.
00:41:43
Yep. All you can contact us at johana
00:41:45
James, that's her Instagram, or her Twitter and Facebook or you
00:41:47
can contact me at its Sophie Craig.
00:41:50
Alternately, you can get in touch via the website
00:41:52
www.omf.co.nz I hope it's recorded if you've been affected
00:42:04
by any of these issues raised in today's episode or a seeking
00:42:07
professional help, there are lots of amazing people out there
00:42:09
to help. We recommend mind, you can reach
00:42:12
out to them at www.mytoolkit.co.uk.