Wielding weapons and hunting hippos - With Anto Sharp
Dear Mr KnickerthiefAugust 20, 2020x
1
00:30:0427.53 MB

Wielding weapons and hunting hippos - With Anto Sharp

We kick off season 2 of Dear Mr. Knickerthief with actor/comedian Anto Sharp as we delve into Sophie's diary during her first audition in London, the time she had to wrestle a hippo. We talk cringe auditions, snogging strangers and discover Jahannah is actually a martial arts master of the broom handle.

Follow Dear Mr. Knickerthief on Instagram to be part of the show!

(Strange noises? This episode was recorded remotely during lockdown).

We kick off season 2 of Dear Mr. Knickerthief with actor/comedian Anto Sharp as we delve into Sophie's diary during her first audition in London, the time she had to wrestle a hippo. We talk cringe auditions, snogging strangers and discover Jahannah is actually a martial arts master of the broom handle.

Follow Dear Mr. Knickerthief on Instagram to be part of the show!

(Strange noises? This episode was recorded remotely during lockdown).


00:00:00
Just a little disclosure. We had to record this episode on

00:00:04
Zoom from home because of the lockdown.

00:00:06
So apologies. If there is any lagging or

00:00:09
buffering or random technical difficulties in this episode,

00:00:14
but enjoy nonetheless. Okay.

00:00:17
So you're on a boat in the middle of a river and ear has

00:00:21
been attacked by a hip-hop. He's being dragged into the

00:00:24
water and you are fighting to try and get him out.

00:00:28
This pillow is the hippo and I need you to wrestle it.

00:00:31
No. This podcast talks openly about

00:00:36
mental health, sex relationships, and various other

00:00:38
personal subjects that some people may find triggering.

00:00:41
Now, I know what you thinking, so I'm just going to explain a

00:00:44
little bit. Why do you miss to make a thief?

00:00:46
So basically, long story short, when I was in year 5, I went to

00:00:50
in with my class and a guy came in the changing room and stole

00:00:54
everybody's knickers. So I did what any responsible

00:00:57
ten-year-old girl would do. And I will a letter addressed to

00:01:00
said, local pedo printed it off and handed it out around 1:00.

00:01:04
Is it contained some comedy gold?

00:01:06
If I do say so myself poetic almost.

00:01:11
Yeah, not only did little Sophie right.

00:01:13
The local PD ball. She also wrote to herself every

00:01:15
day in her diary and when we found it, we like this is

00:01:18
hilarious. People have to hear this Soul.

00:01:21
Your we are welcome back to season two of dearest, Mr.

00:01:28
Liquor Thief. Thanks for all the love on

00:01:31
season one. It was brilliant, wasn't it?

00:01:33
Jay We got so many messages and we also from men as well.

00:01:37
We were a bit worried that men weren't going to get involved.

00:01:40
We had so many men get all those the boys were all over it won't.

00:01:44
Yeah they're all over us talking to boys.

00:01:48
Of course we've got myself. So if Ukraine Got You Hannah,

00:01:51
James and got special guest today.

00:01:54
Hello and so sure. And so and so, so yes.

00:01:59
And so sharp, you can find him all over the socials and so

00:02:03
sharp. He is a brilliant comedian,

00:02:07
fabulous actor, and all-round Entertainer writer.

00:02:10
You name it. So thanks for coming on and

00:02:12
yeah, every Sophie's diary so excited.

00:02:17
I can't wait. Okay, so I've got a nice one.

00:02:19
We're going back to you August 2012.

00:02:22
Okay. And because obviously, you're a

00:02:25
performer and you're an actor as well until we've gone forever.

00:02:30
I found an extract of my diary. It was this particular diary?

00:02:34
Which is one of my older ones. You see is about a dodgy

00:02:38
audition. That I went to there is actually

00:02:41
going to be another episode guys, to keep your eyes peeled.

00:02:45
Eyes peeled is keep it all peeled, guys, where we talked

00:02:52
about some sexual predators in the acting industry, and we've

00:02:56
got some slightly more Sinister audition stories coming up for

00:03:00
that one, because it happens and but this one's actually

00:03:03
hilarious. So, hopefully, we're going to

00:03:07
start the season with some fun. Okay.

00:03:10
Are we ready? August 2012.

00:03:18
The pillow. Okay, I just got back from my

00:03:23
first audition in London with my agent.

00:03:26
What a shit show that was. This is how it starts, it was

00:03:31
for a remake in a documentary. So, you know, like when you're

00:03:35
watching documentaries and then they, they remake the story,

00:03:38
what's it called? Like a like crime?

00:03:42
Watch. You know what?

00:03:44
It's like an action replay dramatization.

00:03:47
There we go. Yes, for a dramatization.

00:03:53
So my agent bang me, two days ago and asked if me if I can do

00:03:56
a South African accent. I mean, you say yes, I used to

00:04:00
think I was like, I'll good accent.

00:04:03
So I wasn't a bit on YouTube and was like, yeah, great.

00:04:08
He said and he gave me the details.

00:04:12
Yeah. Yeah bro, fully.

00:04:14
Yeah. Like I soaked African like I do

00:04:16
at end up talking sound Indian hello blood diamonds and I kind

00:04:22
of saw straight that's literally my reference I was just gonna

00:04:25
say it's not you know DiCaprio blood diamond is my reference.

00:04:28
I was it like it was he say which is line is like a you got

00:04:31
a good a spear smoke there bro or something like that.

00:04:33
Oh yes yes. The spin, got a spear smoke,

00:04:43
their bread, I'll just um I'll just sound lost right now.

00:04:46
I do, that's it. You have to like end your word

00:04:47
quite quick. So I've just sound Australian

00:04:50
but it's like why I think it is very Rocky bread

00:05:03
that you could do a full stuff. African accent and you were

00:05:05
going to head out. Hi Sophie.

00:05:08
Hello. Can you do a South African

00:05:11
accent. Absolutely, absolutely.

00:05:17
That's kind of how it went. So, yeah, used to put, you know,

00:05:19
it's like when your agent goes, can you horse ride bareback?

00:05:22
And you're like, yes, I need the money and I need the job and

00:05:24
you'll just go do it. You gonna learn check yourself

00:05:27
on a horse and then hope the best, okay?

00:05:29
And so, I walk up to this door dish audition in central London

00:05:33
and I'm like her, okay. It mean it looked like a block

00:05:35
of offices which obviously, I know now was like a production

00:05:38
company but the time I was like, Where is the studio?

00:05:42
I go inside and there are like ten girls stop there.

00:05:47
That all look at me and they are.

00:05:49
They definitely look like me but I think they might be a bit

00:05:54
prettier to the audition room and you get in there and you're

00:05:59
like this is all my twin sisters like there's like 15 of us and

00:06:05
then you're like I'm not special and then you realize that you

00:06:10
see the majority of Have there been other castings for out

00:06:13
your? That's the guy that beat me last

00:06:16
time. Not this time, mister you have

00:06:19
to be fake nice. You have to be like, oh, good

00:06:21
luck. Oh, how was it?

00:06:23
How was my God? Yeah.

00:06:25
You come out and go. How was it like?

00:06:26
Yeah. Okay.

00:06:26
So that's what you need to do. And it's like, you could be

00:06:28
feeding me bullshit. So they're like you get the

00:06:30
part. Yeah.

00:06:32
Oh yeah. Actually, they really want you

00:06:33
to do is belly dance. I literally hardly ever talk.

00:06:36
In addition rooms. I'm just in my own space and I

00:06:40
get A little bit nervous when I go in there so I'm like I just

00:06:44
gonna come in compose myself and then everybody is like like

00:06:48
knows everyone, you know, and they're like, oh hi John, how

00:06:51
long I'll get to see you again? And I know this and I might just

00:06:55
sitting there on my own like in the corner.

00:06:57
Like is it my turn yet to go in? And we get the fuck out of here

00:07:02
when somebody comes out and it's when you come out, is that when

00:07:06
you come out you like you got this urge of confidence because

00:07:08
you're the one leave been you like, good luck, everyone.

00:07:12
Get your bag and coat. It's like it's like you know,

00:07:18
the weird one and unless you've ever been an audition, it's like

00:07:22
the most similar thing as a job interview.

00:07:23
But even that's not anything. Like, you know, it's horrific,

00:07:27
is it in? Adobe love you don't feel like

00:07:29
you sit outside like 20 of you, but that all ends in like three

00:07:34
seconds, you go in and then you're out.

00:07:37
Yeah, I think the funniest ones are when you what you're in.

00:07:40
The You're waiting in the waiting room bit.

00:07:42
And you can like, if it's if it's a casting with eyes, like

00:07:46
Lotus screaming all shouting or doing something crazy, it's

00:07:49
literally like a slaughterhouse, you sit in there and they were

00:07:51
dictionaries, like, Pinkie Pie. Good luck.

00:07:58
And then the next one's going and just sort of waiting there.

00:08:00
Like, you know, that sort of moving closer and closer to be

00:08:02
slaughtered. It's like I'm going to be

00:08:05
slaughtered better than you. I'm sat down and I get chatting

00:08:09
to a girl's opposite. She seemed really lovely and I

00:08:13
think she could probably tell that I was quite new to this.

00:08:16
Like, I mean, do you even help yourself to the water at the

00:08:18
water cooler, or is that rude? There was a lot of shouting and

00:08:24
screaming next door. Yeah.

00:08:30
Oh my God. Franco walks out.

00:08:32
Looks at solid smiles, and then leaves and the next is called

00:08:36
in. There you go, it's pretty it

00:08:40
happen. It does happen, every single

00:08:42
ones, the same. Finally, my name is cold, I go

00:08:46
in, and I'm taking into a little side room off from a load of

00:08:49
offices. The room is glass though and

00:08:52
everyone can see in which I think is pretty weird.

00:08:55
But now, I bloody know why these auditions she really had to be

00:08:58
for a laugh or something. Maybe they were being held, so

00:09:02
the office staff could just get a giggle.

00:09:04
I say, who I am. And my home, my age in is, and

00:09:06
the guy sat behind the camera tells me what I'll be doing.

00:09:09
He goes right? Okay, so you are the wife of

00:09:12
Dave, you are South African, you can do a South African accent,

00:09:16
right? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah

00:09:20
bro. Yeah, he goes great.

00:09:27
Okay, so you're on a boat in the middle of a river and Dave has

00:09:30
been attacked by a hip-hop. He's being dragged into the

00:09:34
water and you are fighting to try and get him out.

00:09:37
This pillow is the hippo and I need you to wrestle.

00:09:41
No fuck's sake, this fluffy pillow, I'm set on this sofa.

00:09:48
The whole room obviously is glass.

00:09:50
You can see everybody on the production floor like on their

00:09:53
laptop planner like any chunks, this pillow at me and he goes

00:09:59
That's a hip or you've got to wrestle It Go.

00:10:02
And I was like I was actually like ah ah David know it it's

00:10:08
like oh my God, I do. If that if that tape is out

00:10:13
there somewhere, I would pay a lot of money to see that God's

00:10:16
word that is, that's brilliant. That is, that is so for their

00:10:20
entertainment like that. It's so easy that I mean, okay?

00:10:26
It's like your agent calls. You is like, I'm sorry.

00:10:30
So for you and you didn't get the part you like, oh why you

00:10:32
didn't wrestle the hippo bed at like good enough, you know, it's

00:10:35
just a hip bones are stronger than what you acted.

00:10:38
It's they did they weren't interested.

00:10:40
It's like fuck off. Can you do is have a good exit

00:10:45
is like yeah. All right, sweet.

00:10:47
Yeah. They may give you absolutely

00:10:50
nothing and it's not even like it's sort of It's bizarre.

00:10:56
I mean, like if you are a human and, you know, I know you have

00:10:59
probably seen 50 in a day or whatever.

00:11:01
So it's like Yoko is is another wrestle.

00:11:03
But like, come on man. Give us a little, a little smile

00:11:07
or humming, you know? I mean, I'm amazing.

00:11:10
Yes, just love me. Did you do that?

00:11:13
Rest of the pillow go? Because I fucking good enough or

00:11:15
not. Just tell me eliminate my agent

00:11:18
and tell me. Have you have you guys ever had

00:11:22
a kissing scene where there is Anyone to kiss.

00:11:25
Oh God, to make the decision, whether you kiss the air or not

00:11:29
like yeah. Okay.

00:11:34
I'm actually I think I like I think I've done.

00:11:36
I've done so many cringy strange things in an audition like it is

00:11:39
all like a learning thing. Isn't it?

00:11:41
Like you got like for example when you kiss the are you go

00:11:45
mental check never do that again.

00:11:47
Yeah sorry so he chokes me this bloody pillow count.

00:11:54
Down and press has recalled. I'm sat on the sofa going, like,

00:11:58
no, David. Give me your hand.

00:12:01
Get off him while tossing this pillow around for what feels

00:12:03
like an eternity and then the guy goes thank you then I was

00:12:08
like, okay so now what do I do? So obviously, never been in an

00:12:11
audition before. Do I shake their hands do?

00:12:13
I give them a hug? Like, I was like, thank you.

00:12:17
Okay, thank you very much. So I did that weird thing where

00:12:22
I probably lingered a little bit too long And didn't leave the

00:12:25
room like when you don't know, if someone's going to go in for

00:12:27
a hug or not and then I just left.

00:12:29
Pretty sure. I won't be getting that job and

00:12:32
you didn't and I did not. I don't know why.

00:12:37
I don't know why I didn't. So yeah, that is one audition

00:12:44
Story. I mean, we've already like

00:12:46
started chatting about them, but it is just ridiculous.

00:12:50
Is, why do you put yourself through it?

00:12:52
But then, you know why? Because potentially There's like

00:12:54
a really good job and a lot of money and that's why he now

00:12:58
that's not a good job though. Is there you make a lasting so

00:13:02
it just didn't see it. Yeah, it's a stepping stone,

00:13:05
though. Sophie, it's a stepping stone.

00:13:07
I know. Just think where I could be.

00:13:09
Now if I'd have just wrestled that hippo, right?

00:13:12
And so, what's the worst audition that you've ever had?

00:13:17
Oh fucking hell this there's so many job.

00:13:21
I had one. It literally wasn't that long

00:13:23
ago. Ago.

00:13:24
And I kind of remember it was for think it was if it was a

00:13:29
commercial but, you know, when you go into a room and the only

00:13:34
thing I had in my head like was don't forget the Lions.

00:13:37
This is the only thing I had in my head is, like, don't forget

00:13:39
the lines as we have to dance together.

00:13:40
Lines, don't get the lines went in there and I was like, and it

00:13:44
was a fucking, it was a, like, a beast, this thing.

00:13:47
And I had like, a day or something to learn it.

00:13:49
I was like, how can you expect me to do this?

00:13:52
But I'm an actor, you have to little bit.

00:13:53
I can't. You hate you guys.

00:13:55
So this is the bait and as I've got in and I'm like and the guys

00:13:59
actually said to me like there was fucking nine people in this

00:14:02
room, I'm not even kidding. It was like and I had the guy

00:14:05
came out before I was like lions are you ready to go ahead?

00:14:08
Yeah it's going as I like it just to let you know there's no

00:14:12
and of us in there. I was like, yeah, don't worry

00:14:16
this one instantly. I was like fucking shit

00:14:19
straight. I was like, no.

00:14:20
None of them sitting there staring at me.

00:14:22
I was like cool. I've done I've done worse.

00:14:24
I went in sat down, and I think the reason I was nervous, I

00:14:30
think it was quite a large quite a big casting agents.

00:14:34
I was like, I have to make a good impression, you know.

00:14:36
That's the big as it is, they'll cast me for my lifetime.

00:14:39
So I've got a bun in any way, and I sat down, is these nine

00:14:43
people looking at me and in my head, is to get Alliance

00:14:48
typical. I'm okay, we're good.

00:14:49
We could just just breathe. And then, the guy stands up the,

00:14:52
the guy behind the camera. And he says, I'm also we are

00:14:56
aware. That is a long piece so don't

00:14:58
don't worry too much about the lines and I've gone but because

00:15:03
unlike, it sort of backtrack, now, I'm up.

00:15:04
But yeah. Okay, cool.

00:15:06
He said, if you need to look down at them, that's, you know.

00:15:08
Don't don't worry too much. Just, you know, I was like,

00:15:10
what? So what?

00:15:11
And I literally, I was so flustered.

00:15:13
I was like, do I need to know that?

00:15:16
So what? Yeah, sure.

00:15:18
Just fine, no worries, fucking shit in it.

00:15:21
And I just went The you won't take a minute.

00:15:28
It's fine. I was like, fucking shit.

00:15:29
I fucked this one up. Yes, appear.

00:15:35
I peered down at the, like, they're the the dialogue and

00:15:38
then went in. And this was supposed to be like

00:15:40
a casual sort of conversation with a friend.

00:15:42
Hello, fucking. I had this like, presenter Tone

00:15:47
come out. I was like, it was fucking

00:15:49
Dreadful. I would say it was like, hello,

00:15:52
John, I'm going to go to the Hi there, John.

00:15:56
I'm gonna go to the park, but you didn't know that.

00:15:59
Did you and it was fun. Oh, sure.

00:16:02
Otra over the top. And I got to a point where I was

00:16:06
literally. I got out of breath because I

00:16:08
was so, like, like highly pumped on this weird, adrenaline

00:16:12
present a thing I was doing and then it halfway through.

00:16:18
He went just, just stop everything and I've and I looked

00:16:21
him in the eye and I just thought instantly, good luck.

00:16:24
Eli time, fuck this candle it. And he, he looked at, everyone

00:16:28
is sort of, like, done an exaggerated nod to everyone.

00:16:30
I think we've seen enough. Yeah, I think we

00:16:46
literally like, fuck. And I stood up I was like,

00:16:49
thanks a lot guys. I always wanted to go sorry

00:16:51
about it. Thanks guys.

00:16:56
Thanks a lot left and I walked out and I was like what a stupid

00:17:00
piece of shit. It's like honestly it's it's

00:17:03
such a small thing when you think about audition rooms when

00:17:06
you get to that state and you can't like calm yourself down

00:17:09
or, you know, actually think what is important in the world

00:17:11
you're in a, it's just, you just saying words to people, you

00:17:15
know, it's I know it's there's so much riding on it in some

00:17:18
people's minds because of the passion to get into this

00:17:22
industry, you know? But But that was from what I can

00:17:26
remember. Probably the worst audition I've

00:17:29
ever had just because I'm yeah clear.

00:17:31
As they just fucked it like conscience, did you think now?

00:17:35
We're like and it should I play like you know, when you you're

00:17:38
so focused on it, like we spoke about this before johana aren't

00:17:41
you? You're so folks, I didn't say

00:17:42
yes, it's this. It's this is theirs and you get

00:17:43
it on your head. I think they can like, almost

00:17:46
smell desperation sometimes. So it's like if you go ahead and

00:17:50
you're like yeah dude it by then you forget about it.

00:17:53
I feel like Yeah. Dinner like it's better but I've

00:17:56
had some awful awful auditions. I want to excuse myself and said

00:18:00
I'll leave some nonfiction. No alright I'd ran to it because

00:18:04
I was late fell over like flat on my face as an adult and

00:18:06
skidded across the gravel on the pavement and Life to all my new,

00:18:10
you know, you do and your kid. So I arrived like a bloody nail

00:18:14
driven. Dalmatian stress.

00:18:18
Okay. So obviously I got in this dress

00:18:20
and it showed off my legs which were bleeding.

00:18:23
And I was so So flustered, I came in, I was about five, I'm

00:18:26
five foot four, all these girls, with five foot nine like tall.

00:18:30
Slim beautiful. Don't know what the frig I was

00:18:33
there, then he like rights that dress is beautiful.

00:18:35
Can you show off the arms? Meaning, they were like Spin and

00:18:39
put your arms up and like carefree.

00:18:41
And I stood there, held out my arm, took my other for hand and

00:18:45
just trailed it from my fingertips all the way up to my

00:18:47
shoulder. Like I was displaying like a car

00:18:50
or something like this. Like This is my arm and then and

00:18:56
then I put my arm down and looked at them.

00:18:58
I know when I'll go The music video One again where I sat on a

00:19:05
chair like right, you're in a rowing boat can you roll for me?

00:19:07
And I was like sorry they're like yeah this is a rowing boat,

00:19:11
has it? She started the right right.

00:19:14
And then you stopped in the middle of the lake.

00:19:16
You take a breath and as I like know you've got to roll back so

00:19:21
I can turn yourself around. I'll let you run.

00:19:26
You've got to look like someone's chasing you and you

00:19:28
just run it across the room squids and forwards like this.

00:19:31
Many awful things and you like I'm in absolute Terror of myself

00:19:35
in there. Yeah.

00:19:36
But sometimes I have had an experience.

00:19:39
I had one audition experience where it went so wrong, they

00:19:43
went right? So yeah, so I had this amazing.

00:19:47
I had this call from my agent that was like last minute.

00:19:50
Can you get to this audition? It's in London Bridge in half an

00:19:53
hour and I was like, well I have work.

00:19:56
I have work in about an hour and a half like I can swing by maybe

00:19:59
so I arrived not me. You know, anything about it.

00:20:02
Got the sides and I arrived in there was like 50 girls and it

00:20:07
was a physical. It was from the lead role in

00:20:09
this pilot and they needed to fight.

00:20:12
So, there was a stunt choreographer at the front and

00:20:14
they were teaching girls in groups of five, the fight

00:20:17
routine and I was like, ah, I'm really dyspraxia, Chris isn't

00:20:21
for me, and I said, to some, some people I was like, look, I

00:20:24
have work in like an hour. Can I go first?

00:20:28
And I'd like to just get it over and done with, because I'm not

00:20:29
going to get this as we horrible.

00:20:31
So we had to learn this routine and it was just like, I had a

00:20:33
five, six, seven, eight, five, five five and it was like so I

00:20:36
just went in completely forgot. The routine may it up read the

00:20:40
thing left and thought. Nah, not gonna get that.

00:20:44
And then I got a recall. And I was like, what?

00:20:47
Oh, okay. And then, I turned up to the

00:20:49
recall. They sent me, they were like

00:20:50
what you're doing the same script as before, but you got

00:20:53
the off book, completely off book for this one.

00:20:55
And also, obviously you said in the audition that you were

00:20:59
martial arts trained. So, Bring your choice of weapon

00:21:06
and I'm like, yes, I will just get my weapon that I am trained

00:21:09
in. I'll get my Elvis stuff and I'll

00:21:12
meet you at. I kick the head off a broom,

00:21:16
that's all I had. And I had like a long wooden

00:21:18
pole which I took on the tube all the way to like the audition

00:21:20
room. So I arrived at this.

00:21:30
Looks like some sort of like samurai sword.

00:21:44
I've got my broom. I'm going to just pretend to be

00:21:46
using this broom and I arrived. I am the first of the day and

00:21:51
I'm early. So I'm in the audition room

00:21:54
before the panel. They come in and I'm like,

00:21:56
warming up in my shorts and then you have already.

00:22:00
Okay, well, don't mind us were just going to set up.

00:22:01
So the panel's there, get up and they're like, right first we're

00:22:04
going to do the physical bit, so if you want to show us your

00:22:09
skills, and let's let me spin this thing around being, like

00:22:13
Mulan, I'm like a mad at you. Yeah, this is me, jumping around

00:22:17
the room been an absolute it, and then they go look - move on.

00:22:21
Let's move on to the to the theme of this, see this.

00:22:23
So then all this This is this is all on tape and I know the

00:22:27
director so I could probably find it, but it, oh my God, we

00:22:30
have to put this in. Yeah, and then we go and then

00:22:39
they go. Oh no, that that's not the scene

00:22:42
that we sent you and they've been a massive mix-up and the

00:22:44
scene I was supposed to be off book for for the final audition.

00:22:48
I didn't have it. I knew that the wrong script.

00:22:50
So the director said, no, this is the scene that you need to

00:22:53
do. So he handed to me I'm also B,

00:22:55
dyslexic. I find sight reading so hard and

00:22:57
he could see the panic in my face.

00:23:00
I was like, oh my God. And then, I was like, you know

00:23:05
what? I've lost it anyway.

00:23:07
I was like, I'm not gonna get this anyway.

00:23:08
So you know what? I'm going to show them what

00:23:10
they're missing, and I just did this scene, because I just

00:23:13
thought that I hadn't got it. I did it.

00:23:15
And I think I did it really well, and long story short, end

00:23:19
up booking the job. And so, what the director said

00:23:22
it was, because he saw the panic and fear, Fear in my eyes when

00:23:25
he handed me that script and then he saw me compose myself

00:23:29
crack on anyway. He was like that's the person I

00:23:31
want to work with on set when she gets thrown like a right

00:23:34
coming out of left field, she's going to be able to go.

00:23:36
Cool! I got it.

00:23:38
Crap, The Show Must Go On. That is awesome.

00:23:42
I didn't see the panic in my eyes when they threw the pillow

00:23:44
at me. Ha!

00:23:45
Ha! Ha.

00:23:49
Okay, so next part of the show JJ's had in some Listeners

00:23:57
getting involved in today's topic which is of course, funny

00:24:00
auditions. Funny stories is an Agony, Aunt,

00:24:02
kind of story time section. Yes.

00:24:05
So I put the call out asking fellow actors for any

00:24:11
embarrassing stories that they've had and my friend

00:24:14
Maddie, an whole she actually sent in like a voice note, which

00:24:17
she's giving me permission to play so we can play that for you

00:24:20
guys at home. Now, my it's going to be one of

00:24:23
our guests, by the way, guys. So make sure You keep your eyes

00:24:26
peeled? Yeah, buddy.

00:24:31
Have a bit of an audition, which involved superglue as.

00:24:36
Yeah. That's what happened with her.

00:24:37
I babe, how are you? And your, well, my audition

00:24:42
story is that I auditioned for a German super glue as the premise

00:24:49
of the advert was dodgy as fuck. The premise of the advert.

00:24:52
Was that I was playing a drunk woman, who a guy had brought

00:24:58
home to his flat already dodgy and I know, sorry, I taking him

00:25:03
home to my flat and then I went into the bedroom and like, put

00:25:07
lingerie on hammered still drunk and then came out and he'd found

00:25:12
some super glue and was like, putting together a train set and

00:25:16
was so into how good the glue was that he was didn't pay

00:25:20
attention to a drunk woman that he could have taken advantage of

00:25:25
Anyway, I this is really early on obviously like long time ago,

00:25:30
otherwise I wouldn't have done it and yeah and so they had all

00:25:36
the super glue there and I was many like go on the sofa and try

00:25:40
and distract him from the super glue and I was taking it off his

00:25:43
hands. But he'd already unscrewed the

00:25:46
cap and I squeezed it all over my fingers and my hands and my

00:25:49
fingers stuck together to even get the job.

00:25:53
So, there we go. Classic.

00:26:02
And then I've also been looking up because there are so many

00:26:05
great stories about. It's not just us that happens.

00:26:08
Do really famou people have really bad auditions as well.

00:26:13
So some some famous people that you might know.

00:26:16
So Jake Gyllenhaal auditioned for the role of Frodo in Lord of

00:26:21
the Rings but he he didn't realize that it It had to be in

00:26:26
like a British accent, it couldn't be an American accent,

00:26:28
so he went in to audition for Peter Jackson and did the whole

00:26:31
thing in American. And then apparently, Peter

00:26:34
Jackson said, that's the worst bit of acting I've ever seen.

00:26:38
Oh shit. Do you know what?

00:26:42
When I was doing musical theater, I had a cats audition

00:26:44
in the morning, so I did a dance call at pineapple, and then I

00:26:48
had to go right the way across town.

00:26:51
To another audition for Spice Girls.

00:26:53
The musical and I was Exhausted. And I went in and I was so

00:26:57
nervous and I had to sing a pop rock song which just isn't

00:27:01
really my thing. And I sang it Anastasia, I'm out

00:27:05
of love because awful, and it's like that me free, like, oh,

00:27:10
like this, and then I go out on my agent.

00:27:14
Rang me, bear in mind. This is our God musical of your

00:27:18
auditions are so physical. So I was knackered.

00:27:21
And then whenever my agent rang me and his, you, he was like, I

00:27:23
just had a call from the Casting director.

00:27:25
And they said, if you can, can you please make sure next time

00:27:29
that you're sending me. Any of your clients that they

00:27:30
can bloody sing. I was a, but you can sing.

00:27:35
So well, and they gave you that feedback, your agent told you.

00:27:40
That's what they said fucking turd.

00:27:43
Yeah. So Ryan Gosling had exactly the

00:27:47
same thing happened to him that happened where, you know, in

00:27:50
la-la land, when Emma Stone's doing the most amazing audition

00:27:53
and then the casting Person gets a phone call that happens around

00:27:57
gusting. I don't know whether that's why

00:27:58
it was written into lala land. I'm not sure.

00:28:00
But he said that he was giving one of like the best auditions

00:28:03
of his life. Super emotional in the moment

00:28:05
and the casting director stopped and sat site.

00:28:07
But it's called blessed are like keep the tears or huh?

00:28:11
That's good. Yes back.

00:28:13
So happens to the best of them. Oh, this was one as well.

00:28:17
So Meryl Streep, she was 27 and she was auditioning for a reboot

00:28:24
reboot of King. Hong Kong.

00:28:25
And the Italian director said that.

00:28:29
No, she spoke in Italian and said this, this goes to ugly,

00:28:33
like no way he can, I cast her? Not knowing that Meryl, Streep

00:28:37
speaks Italian. So then she's like, yeah.

00:28:41
And then she actually said something really bad ass back to

00:28:43
him. I remember when were there

00:28:44
moments in my life? Where I know I did not, I'm not,

00:28:49
I'm not quick enough like I'm like trouble away and then I

00:28:53
walked away. Darn I should have said that.

00:28:56
Like yeah. Oh I'm exactly the same, but she

00:28:59
said to misquote her completely, I would rather know something

00:29:04
about an ocean, and I'm going to go and swim in a better tied

00:29:07
that I've ruined it. That was what she said.

00:29:08
But well done. Brilliant.

00:29:11
But she got like yours Johanna. But she got the last word in and

00:29:16
she went off and she went off to be an Oscar winner and that film

00:29:19
tanked. So fat, and you know what?

00:29:22
So the Spice Girls the musical, Haha, you know, Foods.

00:29:31
Thank you so much. Anto for sharing your hilarious

00:29:35
stories. It's been so much fun.

00:29:38
I want to add. Thank you, and Tow, and go and

00:29:40
swim on a better tie.