EP 23 - Guess the Age

[00:00:00] show me to a podcast what will we even call it man map I go on then

[00:00:07] welcome to another episode of my mouth Billy and Jack nobody fucking cares about that I don't know, I don't know, I would do it to be honest. Hmm. Cause imagine. Maybe you just calculate how much graphite it takes to go like, I don't know, a kilometer and then you just multiply it. I've never heard it called graphite before. I haven't either. Oh that's just like. Are you gonna start using that now? Is this one of your words when you're in your conversations

[00:01:41] acting smart?

[00:01:43] No, because I'd probably forget anyway.

[00:01:45] I'll just call it lead impulse.

[00:01:46] Oh no, I've ran like a plan sorted so I can use computer so I can just type mine up. Oh yeah. That's good. You get autographed. No. Oh, that's better. I think you just wanted that. It's like a type. Once when I were doing it, no one would do any GCSEs. Yeah. I brought my hand. Right.

[00:03:00] And then I'd like to do an exam in SEM rule.

[00:03:02] Yeah.

[00:03:03] And it will I type in on a thing.

[00:03:06] Yeah.

[00:03:07] Just on a little screen like that.

[00:03:08] Yeah. I'm in here because I'm dyslexic and I assumed that when I got Like a computer it meant I got auto correct as well like I don't think someone helping me spell is gonna help me fucking cheat You know remember it's it weren't enabled so then like she had to so you can get auto correct I thought I think you can but like I just not got it and I assumed that me being able to do it on a computer meant

[00:04:21] I were allowed auto correct Where did the drink before that? Oh, is it like the bird? Crow. Bars, the girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. I'm just gonna fucking better it that. Yeah. This is your fake. No, but you led with like an interesting fact about crowbars. Oh, did I grab you? Did I subcue it? And then I'm like, what? I don't know if they were invented in the 40th century.

[00:05:42] You're a wanker.

[00:05:44] Why would you tell me that?

[00:05:45] Why would you tell me that?

[00:05:46] And it's not true.

[00:05:47] I just added it.

[00:05:48] I'm gonna have to Google that now. it to fucking killing crows maybe bow and arrow oh well that's more fucking easier probably not easy we've probably got a better chance of killing one than you have we running up to it we are fucking crowbar Bob it's some reason I've gone on holidays it's a sign it's a sign to sign

[00:07:00] you need a holiday get it bugs I've time. Yeah, first time of the time. I think I fucking know. About seven games, I think I won like two, maybe three. And it's like to like 15 points a game. Oh, I want to play it. It's really good. Did you guess where we did it? A squash cart. Yes, we did it in a squash cart, but where? I don't know.

[00:08:20] Rather than leisure center.

[00:08:21] Yeah, I know.

[00:08:22] Yeah.

[00:08:23] But yeah.

[00:08:24] Did you clean?

[00:08:25] Did you sterilize?

[00:08:26] Yeah.

[00:08:27] In and out. So you got table tennis, which is small. Yeah, then you've got paddle ball Yeah, she's like in between and then you've got tennis, which is obviously big paddle ball We saw what me when it's Germany. We saw a paddle ball cart. I don't remember that So yeah, so my ass is fucking killing Like I bent over to pick some of those killers killing because like you're running and like you bending because it's on floor

[00:09:43] So like your proper light bending but you like sprinting at same time making noises ah

[00:09:47] Yeah He's probably better with two player, but no we're good. Do you think you'd sum it you're gonna take up? I don't know maybe I might as well like once a month or something. Go for fitness like that. Really? Do you know what? I've got a right sweater on proper out breath What was that? I don't know like not to finish your breakfast. No, it's just not throughout me. Do you know what he's done? What have you been doing?

[00:11:01] So I've worked away again

[00:12:01] Well, yeah.

[00:12:03] She just said she could fit a table of warning. Always gonna do that, Jack.

[00:12:04] Well, did you seriously think I'm just gonna sit there?

[00:12:07] We're fucking big or whatever and just be-

[00:12:08] Look at all the happy couples.

[00:12:10] Why not? You wanna eat, no, yeah?

[00:12:11] Yeah, but I don't wanna be like-

[00:12:13] Everyone else think I'm weird.

[00:12:15] What is it? So what-

[00:12:16] Oh, here's what other people think.

[00:12:17] I think it's Valentine's Day.

[00:12:18] You trying to eat food?

[00:12:19] It's Valentine's Day.

[00:12:21] So what did you do? Go and get a fucking Tesco meal deal and sign up.

[00:12:23] It's called-

[00:12:24] Is that what you did?

[00:12:25] Yeah! You sad bastard!

[00:12:26] No, it's Tesco, I got a meal deal.

[00:13:25] Why? I just did. I'm a fair player of the like to people what to do with but not for me. Why, I don't get the stigma, why can't you do things by yourself? Why have you got to have another person there? I don't get it.

[00:13:31] Well I think it's just normally it's more like a two people thing, isn't it?

[00:13:34] What, sitting down not talking, staring at a screen? Why is that a two person thing?

[00:13:39] It just is, isn't it? What's the difference between that and you sat on watching TV by your son?

[00:13:43] Well, because you're in your own comfort. You're in your own comfort.

[00:13:46] You're in your own comfort and I just sathing it out so like the damage that you're creating or the money loss that's being lost from you doing that is like minimal the money loss from him doing that is like fucking like like tenfold do you know what i mean i still don't think you should go to prison for it no it's a bit like our version of lucky-looking men yeah I suppose yeah kind of but if you said no to a lucky looking man they'll walk off you said look to these guys we when they spend all money on changing a fucking centre piece or a roundabout. Do you know what I realise as well? Cause somebody told me all the day, right?

[00:17:42] The reason you see loads of roadworks now is because...

[00:17:44] End of budget.

[00:17:45] Yeah, the taxier runs out, so they've got to spend work Yeah, yeah, we've not safe this guys not really safe is it? We're gonna have to spend more of your money to put it back and we're gonna take another two years

[00:20:02] just lost out of shit, I'm not all when I'm eating. So it doesn't need lines on road,

[00:20:04] and it can work both sides at road,

[00:20:06] it doesn't flash you, and it can also get you on your phone,

[00:20:09] it can get you, if you're doing what else

[00:20:11] were it, with someone else and all.

[00:20:13] It uses lighting for red technology as well.

[00:20:15] Right, so they've spent all this money,

[00:20:17] so to make this super duper camera, aren't they?

[00:20:19] Yeah.

[00:20:20] So how many people are gonna have to catch an hour

[00:20:21] to fucking make money back off it?

[00:20:23] Well, it's ridiculous.

[00:20:25] Right, I'm all a gig tomorrow. You're doing a what? A gig? I'm not making that as I don't know, cos I've hit my son for you. No thanks. First time. Yeah, doing a totally odd end. Yeah, I'm doing a stand up gig.

[00:21:41] He's doing a stand up gig everybody.

[00:21:43] First time, because it do it again. No, that's it. You're gonna cry all the way up. Right, okay. You know, I get fucking blown from it and get better and then come back. That's the thing though, you really need to take it into your head that if it does go wrong, you need to just keep doing it because it's practice. And today it's practice. Nobody ever does sum it and the fucking shit up straight away.

[00:23:02] Unless one of these fucking global superstars, athletes.

[00:23:05] Yeah, I will.

[00:23:06] Well that's not us as it will. last night and uh... yeah i was tired and uh... hahaha on xbox brings me up there in the mud i've got him as a fucking friend on xbox i don't know it's because about half an hour when he was probably supposed to have been here it came up what i would say you game attack jackeys online

[00:24:23] uh... that's why you haven't eaten everything yet today. Well, so then they don't fuck your marriage. It's like, do you know what it initially was?

[00:25:40] If I wanted died, right?

[00:25:43] It died probably about 20 minutes before, or 30 minutes before I was supposed to set off, but anyway but I know this is the thing you wouldn't have what about if I had someone on last night I didn't but what about if I did? yeah but I know you're for two weeks yeah and I and the call that I rang you in the morning of sat there I said you want to do it same anyway yeah it's fine

[00:27:01] whenever by me I'm offered two weeks so I assume that like you were just

[00:27:04] easy-breather but I might have met plans well you didn't met that clear to me where? No, I'm thinking I'm doing like habitat surveys or some of what ecological surveys are. On a field trip. Yeah, basically for a week. Yeah. We've got like full on assessments while we're there though. Yeah, what's it do like a 2000 word essay while I'm there and I can't write in those situations. So I don't know I'm going to do it.

[00:28:23] I'm then like, I'm going to be a presentations and shit and then like, yeah, don't tell you.

[00:28:26] No, I can wear.

[00:28:27] Where is it?

[00:29:24] But this is the top fucking podcast. Yeah, go down go down

[00:29:30] Keep going down there. Yeah, we are. Oh, they look we're still there. I can't believe we're under improv

[00:29:37] Well, we don't really think planet we don't plan any of this shit. No, it doesn't put does that mean we're improv

[00:29:40] Well, we're under three. I think under three categories

[00:29:43] Well stand up. Oh, yeah

[00:31:01] Yeah, so there you go what we want other've got a big fucking I Think it was my 200 yeah, and what a shame it's annoying cuz we know that we're 200 and one Yeah, I was up to 200 you know me and we got an email saying we're 200 and one yeah

[00:31:05] Anyway, moving on quickly to follow. Yeah, we don't really know what we're doing. Disclaimer. Yeah. Shall we go to the segment? Should we just say also? Go on. Just quickly. Go on. That we didn't realize, because we're just having that much fun doing this, and also that we're really like just a fucking pair of idiots.

[00:32:20] We've finished season two on the last episode,

[00:32:23] and we didn't realize.

[00:32:24] And we just thought, we're not going

[00:32:25] to do any more of that bollocks.

[00:32:26] We're just going. Yeah, but it's quite his day of job seven times. Yeah, seven times I've really had. Speaking of series, I just want to bring one more thing to your attention. Yeah. So I've been watching a series, it's quite old. I just want to see if you've watched it.

[00:33:40] Walking Dead.

[00:33:41] Yeah.

[00:33:42] Have you seen it?

[00:33:44] I stopped watching after like fourth season.

[00:33:45] So it's just spoil that for you. But...

[00:35:00] It's not heads, is it?

[00:35:01] I know it's some kind of disease, but...

[00:35:03] I'm pretty sure it's heads, is it not?

[00:35:04] Is it heads, is it set?

[00:35:05] I think it is, is it not?

[00:35:06] I don't know. I'm not real cool. So HIV you can have and you don't die. Age you're getting die. Oh, maybe we're HIV then, I don't know. Oh, what about, do you reckon it's just them like hand disease or could you just be like walking around with a clap? No, I don't think that that bothered about clap. They'll just not eat you genitals. Yeah, just clear them after. Eh.

[00:36:20] It's just fucking bones and a cock.

[00:36:21] Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

[00:36:24] Well, you can't really get a long lifetime disease.

[00:36:27] We know a cure that don't kill you. out when I start. Segg, come on. Segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg,

[00:37:44] segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, segg, and then we're gonna get the age of people. That is it. Okay. Considering that those two seasons are now just... Irrelevant. The irrelevant those two seasons, they were trial runs. That means that we can synthesize those segments and make them better. Synthesize and do them again.

[00:39:00] We do, you mean?

[00:39:01] Yeah.

[00:39:02] Yeah.

[00:39:04] Yeah.

[00:39:04] I think we should start doing that from now.

[00:39:06] Okay.

[00:39:06] As I've to this one.

[00:39:08] Okay. Bodies Johnson. Fucking God, mine's funnier. Rowan Atkinson. Oh, I fucking love him. I don't want him to be as old as he is. 58. No.

[00:41:41] 55? No.

[00:41:42] 62.

[00:41:43] No.

[00:41:44] 70.

[00:41:45] No.

[00:41:46] 69.

[00:41:48] Oh, yeah. I can extra bonus here that I don't know about that. 67. No. I'm going to hire a lower. A lower. 60. Lower. 80. 50. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha lower. Do you understand what lower means? 45.

[00:43:00] Lower.

[00:43:00] 42.

[00:43:01] Lower.

[00:43:01] 40.

[00:43:02] Yes.

[00:43:02] Yes.

[00:43:06] Mine is, because I feel like we're being a bit sexist here. Lisa wrapped there. I'll show you the image. It's a good mechanism. She got me 50 51 clothes.

[00:45:23] other side, one out of the side isn't it? Pick 158. Yeah, there you go. Yes. One second. I've got my next one.

[00:45:40] Adele. Oh, you're it is. Erm... Is it fucking Aquaman? No! No! Erm... Come on. You're best actor, but your favourite actor? Did it again, like Frog. It is Henry Cavill. Oh, Superman.

[00:47:01] Yes.

[00:47:03] Not just like Superman, but yeah.

[00:47:05] Oh, he's on the mini-Superman on the Witcher, ain't he?

[00:47:07] Yeah.

[00:47:08] Erm... I just proud you and all. Yeah, go on. Jack Black. 47. No. 52. No. 54. Yes. Yes. John Travolta. 72. No. 67. No. 69. No. 68. No. 73. No. 75. No.

[00:48:20] 62.

[00:48:21] No.

[00:48:22] 64.

[00:48:23] No.

[00:48:24] 59.

[00:48:25] No.

[00:48:26] 70. Yes. I'm sorry he's a fucking old bastard isn't it? Yes, yes he is. Er, who's my last one? Oh my gonna have... Oh I won't he actually fucking Chuck Norris or whatever it's called. Wow. He's over there for...

[00:49:42] Er, here we go.

[00:49:46] Come on Bunderbye.