EP 25 - create an Ad

[00:00:00] Show me a new podcast. What will we even call it? ManMap, I got them.

[00:00:22] Welcome back to another episode of MindMap with Billy and Jack.

[00:00:24] Did you know that estimates suggest that between 80 and 90 million chocolate eggs are eaten annually in Britain?

[00:00:31] Chocolate eggs is an easter egg. Yes, just in the easter period.

[00:00:37] Over like this annually so like 80 to 90 million chocolate eggs I should imagine mainly what these are.

[00:00:44] Oh what is fucking an easter egg? I'm fucking January.

[00:00:47] But maybe they've saved one.

[00:00:49] From last easter.

[00:00:51] I should imagine it a bit like on the run-up tweezer because really as soon as they go on shelves you can buy it and eat it, not stopping you from eating it.

[00:00:58] No. So like you could just buy one as a treat all time. Have you seen how expensive they are?

[00:01:04] I bought one. Well I bought one for our last. I bought it from Lidl. I think we're Lidl's own easter egg. I don't think it's cause like 4 quid.

[00:01:11] Ain't she special? But it was a good one though. Exactly what she wanted. She likes mini eggs and she likes white chocolate and it will be a white chocolate mini egg easter egg.

[00:01:19] What like an off brand mini egg? What do we call it?

[00:01:23] I've got a fucking hell I can't remember. Egg mini.

[00:01:25] It's not like that. But she liked it. Yeah. But yeah 80 to 90 million chocolate eggs. Wow.

[00:01:32] Every year eaten in Britain. Fuck you know. There's no wonder we're all fat folks.

[00:01:37] 18 to 90 million. I've got a question for how many easter eggs have eaten so far? Not one.

[00:01:42] You're not eating one. Did you get it? I got one. You got one easter egg.

[00:01:46] No I got two. Right. I got two and fucking one of them got eaten by somebody else.

[00:01:55] Right okay. So they didn't even give it me. They didn't even... I got some...

[00:01:58] So they bought you a good intention and then it's it. Yeah but it weren't even from them.

[00:02:02] So basically Becca's mom and dad bought me an easter egg.

[00:02:05] Before I even got side of it. Yeah. She'd fucking eaten it. Oh Becca did.

[00:02:10] Yeah. She'd eaten your easter egg. Yeah why? She were hungry. I'm good. No.

[00:02:17] That's bad diet in there. That's grounds for a divorce that.

[00:02:20] Bad diet. Yeah. I was fuming. No. She had me fucking easter egg.

[00:02:25] So I've still got one downstairs which is probably at risk. I think I've got three or four easter eggs I think.

[00:02:30] I've had one little one. Oh it was buying them here. I don't know.

[00:02:34] My mum got me one. My husband got me one. My aunt got me one.

[00:02:37] And you're not fucking six anymore. Why? I don't get why?

[00:02:42] Why do you mind if I'm fucking business forever?

[00:02:44] I'm just talking about why you're biting at me.

[00:02:46] Look you're an easter egg. If my family likes to buy me an easter egg,

[00:02:49] I'm not going to stop them. Did you buy any of them one? No.

[00:02:53] I'm just talking about fucking.

[00:02:56] I've never bought me one as well.

[00:02:58] I've grown men and women getting easter eggs.

[00:03:01] I like chocolate. All right.

[00:03:03] I like to have a lot of tendled every now and again.

[00:03:05] You can buy chocolate anytime at year. Why don't you fuck off?

[00:03:07] It's different when it's an egg format.

[00:03:09] So I've had one or two eggs I think. Yeah.

[00:03:12] So far. Nice. No, no. I'm not one.

[00:03:15] Not a hard one. We had a bit of an early easter.

[00:03:20] So every easter Becca does one. You're bad one.

[00:03:23] So we finished mixing these easter egg cheese cakes.

[00:03:26] Oh yeah. I've had one. Yeah.

[00:03:28] Very sickle. Yeah.

[00:03:29] But she did it early on so I had a few of them.

[00:03:32] Yeah. That would be me. Sorry.

[00:03:34] I have to find my like, Twitch.

[00:03:36] Ghost reading. No, sorry.

[00:03:38] We had a good Sunday dinner.

[00:03:41] I mean Emma Cooked a Sunday dinner for the moment we now

[00:03:44] and I was on Sunday. Easter Sunday. Nice.

[00:03:47] Did you have today? No, you had yours today.

[00:03:49] Yeah. So today.

[00:03:51] I'm going to send me in Becca Cooked a.

[00:03:53] Yeah, you did nothing to do.

[00:03:55] I mashed the potatoes.

[00:03:57] Okay. I mashed the potatoes.

[00:03:59] Those big strong arms.

[00:04:01] Oh, she's one dude.

[00:04:02] Oh, gone off topic here.

[00:04:04] I'll do me joke after.

[00:04:05] Right? So.

[00:04:07] Ah, probably.

[00:04:08] Just fucking sat in living room.

[00:04:10] Right. Okay.

[00:04:11] That could be fucking sleeping away and kitchen.

[00:04:14] Fucking pots and pans.

[00:04:15] Would you do it?

[00:04:16] Mother hell.

[00:04:17] And then.

[00:04:18] And then here dog.

[00:04:20] And it's like a moment, dad and that.

[00:04:22] Oh, right.

[00:04:23] I fucking sprinted.

[00:04:24] You fucking wake up.

[00:04:26] Let me get the whole dog about that.

[00:04:28] Just quick to it.

[00:04:31] Yeah, yeah. Oh, I've done them bang on.

[00:04:33] I know them.

[00:04:34] Perfect.

[00:04:35] You're an ass.

[00:04:36] That's about that in it.

[00:04:38] You're a nice thing.

[00:04:39] I'm thinking that.

[00:04:40] Not don't know.

[00:04:41] Yeah, but if you can't,

[00:04:43] that's just.

[00:04:44] It's just outright Tom Follary.

[00:04:47] Yeah.

[00:04:48] And that's not fair.

[00:04:49] And then, oh, thank you, Billy and Beckham for doing this.

[00:04:51] Yeah.

[00:04:52] Did Beckham, did Beckham,

[00:04:53] did Beckham, oh, I can't speak.

[00:04:55] You're both of your names are so similar.

[00:04:57] Did Beck, Beck, Beckett, Beckett.

[00:04:59] She can't speak.

[00:05:00] Oh, they won't let it.

[00:05:02] Same.

[00:05:03] Did Beckham not say, oh,

[00:05:05] she just risked merking at me like we did that look to each other.

[00:05:08] Like, she knew she could just ruin it for me any minute now.

[00:05:11] Yeah.

[00:05:12] Yeah.

[00:05:13] Do you not think it would have been more better if you would have helped it?

[00:05:15] It had a full deal, man.

[00:05:16] Yeah, but like you could have just peeled some veg.

[00:05:18] You can't really fuck that up.

[00:05:19] Two.

[00:05:20] You could have peeled some veg, man.

[00:05:22] That's a bad, man.

[00:05:23] You could have peeled potatoes.

[00:05:24] They're doing some way out of fucked up.

[00:05:26] Fucking aware the laugh.

[00:05:27] Of course, our oven,

[00:05:28] it's like a reverse tardis.

[00:05:30] It looks massive from outside and fucking when,

[00:05:32] as soon as you try and put some in it,

[00:05:34] it looks fucking small as fuck.

[00:05:35] Fit plate in it.

[00:05:36] Yeah.

[00:05:37] So me and Emma were playing oven jenga or oven tetris wherever you want to call it.

[00:05:41] Trying to fit everything in.

[00:05:43] And we'd fucking manage to get everything in.

[00:05:45] We'd got roasties in.

[00:05:46] We'd got carrots.

[00:05:47] We'd got a chicken in there and we'd got beef in there,

[00:05:49] all on like different trays.

[00:05:50] Fuck it out.

[00:05:51] You did well doing nothing.

[00:05:52] Yeah, I know, but anyway, so we'd worked it out.

[00:05:57] And then the beef, we'd got the beef in it,

[00:06:00] and it were at top.

[00:06:01] And you know, like elements are at top.

[00:06:02] You know, like that like you ship thing anyway.

[00:06:04] It just fell not under there.

[00:06:05] We came back after like an hour and it had rose.

[00:06:07] Because like it had gone together and then it rose.

[00:06:10] And it was stuck on elements.

[00:06:12] Oh, fuck.

[00:06:13] So all from my red dot plate were red dot.

[00:06:16] So I ended up having to like try and pull it out,

[00:06:18] like I pulled it out as far as I can with me.

[00:06:20] Like what did you call it?

[00:06:22] An oven mitt.

[00:06:23] And then I got a knife and I would put it under elements.

[00:06:25] It was the fucking knife.

[00:06:26] And I will wiggling it.

[00:06:27] And I will wiggling this beef.

[00:06:29] Like this beef was working.

[00:06:30] And I'm trying to fucking pull it out.

[00:06:32] You were fucking right for that.

[00:06:33] Did you not think he was in a fucking spatula?

[00:06:35] You won't put it in.

[00:06:37] It was tight.

[00:06:38] Like it just cut the beef away from it.

[00:06:40] Fucking.

[00:06:42] It cut off the element.

[00:06:44] Why did you have a Sunday dinner at Easter?

[00:06:46] Because it was also worse under.

[00:06:48] Is it because of that?

[00:06:50] Do you not actually know what Easter is?

[00:06:52] Well, it's a Christian tradition about Jesus rising from the road.

[00:06:56] So he died on Good Friday, didn't he?

[00:06:58] The Passover's on Good Friday.

[00:07:01] Would it be?

[00:07:02] Would it be?

[00:07:03] Would it be crucified on Thursday and the Passover's Friday?

[00:07:06] So like it could be.

[00:07:07] And then he died for it.

[00:07:08] I'm pretty sure he died for three days

[00:07:10] and then he rose from the grave.

[00:07:11] So did he rise on the Monday?

[00:07:12] Let's just imagine it.

[00:07:13] Yes, a weekend.

[00:07:14] So did he.

[00:07:15] Well, he rose three days from the day that he died.

[00:07:17] And then what was not specific to the days

[00:07:19] because the days changed?

[00:07:20] Yeah, that's what I'm going to say.

[00:07:21] So what the fuck are we celebrating?

[00:07:22] How do we, because he didn't obviously die like.

[00:07:24] You didn't read it.

[00:07:25] He didn't get risen today, did it?

[00:07:28] What do you mean?

[00:07:30] Because last year, it was fucking in the end of April Easter.

[00:07:33] So what day did he actually...

[00:07:36] I'm not specific.

[00:07:37] I'm not.

[00:07:38] I'm not.

[00:07:39] I'm not.

[00:07:40] Rebable again.

[00:07:41] You're all right.

[00:07:42] You're burned if you set foot in the church.

[00:07:45] What?

[00:07:46] Oh yeah, what?

[00:07:47] Eh...

[00:07:48] Well, you won't.

[00:07:49] Should I do my jerk?

[00:07:50] I think it's about time, yeah.

[00:07:51] Well, I have a fucking rabbit around.

[00:07:52] Rabbit in.

[00:07:53] Oh, sorry.

[00:07:54] Get it?

[00:07:55] He's a rabbit, yeah.

[00:07:56] What's my jerk?

[00:08:03] Playing simple, straightforward, this one.

[00:08:06] Yeah.

[00:08:07] No, Tom full the way on this one. How do you organize a space party?

[00:08:12] How do you organize a space party?

[00:08:15] Space I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I'm having a stroke

[00:08:27] I'm either tired or I'm having a stroke mentally or physically

[00:08:31] That's how do you organize a space party?

[00:08:34] Go on. You plan it.

[00:08:38] That's nice.

[00:08:39] Hold on, nice.

[00:08:44] So it's been a while?

[00:08:46] I'm going to say should we just stay at the obvious?

[00:08:49] You've probably not heard from me in Berlin for like three weeks, maybe four weeks.

[00:08:53] We've had a break.

[00:08:54] If you came to his life show, you wouldn't have fucking heard from us.

[00:08:55] Yeah.

[00:08:57] We've had a break. We apologize.

[00:08:59] We were going to do one last weekend, but one thing happened and then another

[00:09:03] thing happened and then it just got delayed.

[00:09:06] So we do apologize. Life just gets in the way sometimes.

[00:09:08] But we're back.

[00:09:09] We're back for good.

[00:09:10] We're back for good. We're bigger and better.

[00:09:12] There's a song in there.

[00:09:14] Some like that I think.

[00:09:15] But yeah, we apologize.

[00:09:16] We're back and you're going to be getting your weekly episodes now.

[00:09:19] So we apologize.

[00:09:24] You carry it on?

[00:09:24] No, you just, you just froze.

[00:09:27] Yeah, I'm,

[00:09:28] I'm, is it in your head?

[00:09:29] I don't know what's wrong.

[00:09:29] I have generally think I'm having a stroke.

[00:09:32] Anyway, I'm not having a stroke.

[00:09:34] I'm just exaggerating.

[00:09:37] What should we talk about?

[00:09:37] You're doing it again.

[00:09:38] I know.

[00:09:39] I do.

[00:09:39] I do.

[00:09:39] I do.

[00:09:39] I do.

[00:09:40] Because we've had three weeks off and I forgot I could do everything.

[00:09:44] You're going mid conversation.

[00:09:45] You're going.

[00:09:45] So what will do is?

[00:09:52] I've got so many sentences in my head.

[00:09:54] I'm thinking about what I'm going to say.

[00:09:56] And then I'm thinking that doesn't sound right.

[00:09:57] So I'm going to say it this way.

[00:09:58] And then I'm just not saying all what have you done in your last three weeks with

[00:10:01] had we've done a lot of things.

[00:10:03] Yeah, I've got them written down on me for an actually.

[00:10:06] Have you just been taking notes every time you've done something?

[00:10:09] So we did a live podcast.

[00:10:11] Woo!

[00:10:12] And say it was a success.

[00:10:13] It went all right.

[00:10:14] Yeah, it went good, didn't it?

[00:10:15] Yeah.

[00:10:16] I enjoyed it.

[00:10:17] We didn't get pulled off.

[00:10:18] No.

[00:10:20] We had a lot of pizza and some beer.

[00:10:21] Yeah.

[00:10:22] I actually had one beer.

[00:10:24] And oh yeah, you did treat it yourself.

[00:10:26] I had one beer.

[00:10:27] But that for the nerves.

[00:10:28] No, because it were after.

[00:10:30] I had one before.

[00:10:31] No.

[00:10:32] I had a non-alcoholic before.

[00:10:34] I didn't want to risk it because I'm not really drinking.

[00:10:36] Do I know?

[00:10:37] So if I have a beer before,

[00:10:38] what happens if I get shedded and then just the like?

[00:10:41] So massive thank you to everybody.

[00:10:42] That turned out.

[00:10:43] Yeah, thank you to everybody.

[00:10:44] And beret door for hosting us.

[00:10:45] Yeah, fantastic pizza.

[00:10:47] Yeah.

[00:10:47] They did a special idea.

[00:10:49] I think it was a commentable call.

[00:10:50] Yeah, I got like goat cheese on it and like,

[00:10:52] camera wise on your neck,

[00:10:53] fucking right nice.

[00:10:54] Nice.

[00:10:55] Yeah, thanks for beret door.

[00:10:56] Did you see that they did an Easter icon beret door

[00:10:59] on their Instagram?

[00:11:00] No.

[00:11:00] What, with what?

[00:11:01] For pizzas.

[00:11:02] So what they've got like hidden, hidden vouchers

[00:11:05] and they placed them all around Kelem.

[00:11:06] Yeah.

[00:11:07] And then if you found that voucher,

[00:11:09] you got a free pizza.

[00:11:10] They did a few of them.

[00:11:12] My friend who lives in Kelem,

[00:11:14] okay, she, she saw it on thing.

[00:11:17] She sprinted from a flat because she knew where it was.

[00:11:21] She didn't even tell the partner who she lives with.

[00:11:22] She just got up and the fucking pot of shows

[00:11:24] I was sprinting trying to get this pizza voucher

[00:11:27] and she got there and it gone already.

[00:11:28] She, it on me.

[00:11:29] The video had only been up like fucking 40 minutes.

[00:11:31] I was like, no way.

[00:11:33] But yeah, so she went in order to pizza anyway

[00:11:35] because she thought she'd put all that in it.

[00:11:37] She got a pizza.

[00:11:39] She thought it was funny.

[00:11:39] Did you go to any Easter fairs?

[00:11:41] Any Easter fairs?

[00:11:43] Yeah.

[00:11:43] No.

[00:11:44] That's how I went to one.

[00:11:47] Last weekend.

[00:11:48] Yeah, last weekend.

[00:11:49] It's like a kids thing, yeah.

[00:11:50] I'm gonna say what is any stuff first?

[00:11:51] It's just like a,

[00:11:53] I don't fucking know what's it's fair.

[00:11:54] But this is what it literally reminds me of.

[00:11:56] So it really needs to fair in local leisure center.

[00:11:59] And have you seen that?

[00:12:00] Tufin, Willy Wonka.

[00:12:03] Oh, the thing in Edinburgh.

[00:12:04] Oh, Glasgow, wherever it was.

[00:12:06] It was like that.

[00:12:07] Are you okay?

[00:12:07] For entry so I went to Wobbush.

[00:12:12] At least they had somebody dressed up as a rabbit.

[00:12:14] With the fake fucking body, the unknown.

[00:12:17] Have you seen it?

[00:12:18] Yeah.

[00:12:19] Oh my god, I'm increasing it.

[00:12:21] See the chocolate river?

[00:12:23] Yeah.

[00:12:25] This is old news anyway.

[00:12:26] This happened to ages.

[00:12:27] I know, I know, I just reminded me of that.

[00:12:29] When it went in, right?

[00:12:30] And the fucking past,

[00:12:31] of course, some rate fucking money made that.

[00:12:33] Yeah.

[00:12:34] So they like did a stall thing and they did an egg on.

[00:12:38] Yeah.

[00:12:39] And it literally took quite

[00:12:40] an effort for young and like to

[00:12:42] look round and find eggs.

[00:12:44] Okay.

[00:12:45] Fuck me, did they make that odd?

[00:12:47] Why could you not find any eggs?

[00:12:49] No!

[00:12:51] Are you sure they were there?

[00:12:51] I don't think so.

[00:12:52] You didn't tell them.

[00:12:53] And they were like,

[00:12:54] giving hints and a lot they were like,

[00:12:56] no, because when you walked in,

[00:12:57] you had to pay a £2

[00:12:59] for the piece of paper

[00:13:00] and then you had to write down

[00:13:01] where you'd seen these eggs.

[00:13:02] Okay.

[00:13:04] The fucking, there weren't there.

[00:13:05] It must have been some kind of marketing scam

[00:13:07] because they weren't there.

[00:13:08] Oh, I get it.

[00:13:10] So like they weren't actually Easter eggs hidden.

[00:13:11] They're like eggs and then you'd

[00:13:13] rip down where you'd seen it

[00:13:14] and then if you've got the right location,

[00:13:15] you went back and told them

[00:13:16] and then they'd give you an Easter egg.

[00:13:18] Yeah.

[00:13:18] Right?

[00:13:18] Okay, I get it.

[00:13:19] So I basically paid too quick

[00:13:21] for a fucking piece of paper.

[00:13:23] So you didn't get any Easter egg?

[00:13:24] Not one.

[00:13:25] I didn't find any.

[00:13:26] We didn't find any.

[00:13:27] Why?

[00:13:28] Do you know what they've done?

[00:13:29] They'll have realised

[00:13:31] that shit was going low on fucking county

[00:13:32] apart those two easy.

[00:13:33] They'll have poor and light fucking

[00:13:34] in a binocular.

[00:13:35] Which way are we in the fucking

[00:13:36] ready to be getting fucking

[00:13:38] real flatters open climbing up here

[00:13:39] to see if they were one.

[00:13:40] They were nowhere!

[00:13:42] Absolutely no, yeah.

[00:13:43] So I paid too quick for a piece of paper.

[00:13:46] Well, you know what I'm like.

[00:13:48] Yeah.

[00:13:48] Oh, except me.

[00:13:49] Real mid-air.

[00:13:50] Yeah.

[00:13:50] And it was fucking busy.

[00:13:52] You're very emotional aren't you?

[00:13:53] I am going to pay a fucking point

[00:13:55] must money out of the point's thing.

[00:13:56] It is only so hard.

[00:13:57] Don't matter.

[00:13:59] Don't matter.

[00:13:59] Did you have fun?

[00:14:00] No, because I couldn't find any.

[00:14:02] So I'm fucking stressed.

[00:14:04] I'm like this shit for kids.

[00:14:06] Why are you doing?

[00:14:07] Well, you need to get better at your

[00:14:09] searching skills.

[00:14:11] Yeah.

[00:14:12] No no.

[00:14:13] So yeah, that was funny.

[00:14:15] I'm segueing on to something.

[00:14:19] It's not related to Easter,

[00:14:20] but it's really weird.

[00:14:21] It's happened to be recently

[00:14:22] and it's first time I've done it.

[00:14:23] You know what should we do?

[00:14:24] No.

[00:14:26] I'm still waiting on that day.

[00:14:29] So recently, like all men

[00:14:32] sometimes you shave downstairs.

[00:14:34] Right?

[00:14:35] Some...

[00:14:36] Not sometimes all times.

[00:14:37] Yes.

[00:14:37] Pretty much.

[00:14:38] Okay.

[00:14:38] Yeah.

[00:14:39] So I thought I was curious

[00:14:41] I've shaved my ass crack.

[00:14:43] Why?

[00:14:45] With shavers.

[00:14:46] Because...

[00:14:46] Fucking what, why?

[00:14:48] We're lacking electric shavers,

[00:14:49] not like-

[00:14:50] Not like, uh.

[00:14:50] Oh you may-

[00:14:51] Please tell me you weren't just

[00:14:53] fucking sat on end of Egypt.

[00:14:55] stood on Egypt.

[00:14:56] Baffo, you fucking cheat.

[00:14:58] No, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no right

[00:15:03] So I was in the toilet,

[00:15:05] so I went in the toilet.

[00:15:06] I was on the toilet and then I reached

[00:15:07] around by and I put me

[00:15:09] and didn't toilet that way.

[00:15:10] So you did it blind?

[00:15:10] Yeah, I did it blind.

[00:15:12] Okay.

[00:15:13] Did you have a shit first?

[00:15:15] What do you mean?

[00:15:16] Like, could you say to your sound toilet?

[00:15:17] So did you have a shit?

[00:15:18] No, I would pick a fleece out on the toilet to shave.

[00:15:20] Oh right, yeah.

[00:15:20] I wouldn't know.

[00:15:21] That's weird.

[00:15:22] No.

[00:15:23] Oh, my shit's been caught on that.

[00:15:24] No, no, no, no.

[00:15:26] No, no, no.

[00:15:26] I thought I'd just try it, see which one.

[00:15:28] Yeah.

[00:15:29] So I've shaved my bum crack.

[00:15:30] Anyway, it's all out of us.

[00:15:33] Shoulder.

[00:15:34] And she said, do you know it's patchy, right?

[00:15:35] And then you've also just shaved rock.

[00:15:36] I could ask, I could not shave your ass.

[00:15:38] No, I could just go out.

[00:15:39] I'm just going to like a line up my ass crack.

[00:15:42] Can we all talk again?

[00:15:43] Yeah.

[00:15:44] I love me, straight.

[00:15:45] My ass cheeks are like fucking fairie.

[00:15:48] They're by ass cracks, like not.

[00:15:49] And then also, like, I've realised that for men

[00:15:53] you need ass hair.

[00:15:55] You really do.

[00:15:56] Why?

[00:15:57] Because I'm less aerodynamic now.

[00:15:58] Why?

[00:15:59] Because now I'm running and my ass cheeks

[00:16:01] are sticking together.

[00:16:02] Why?

[00:16:03] So why?

[00:16:05] Because the friction there's no hair there.

[00:16:07] So it's like skin and it's just stuck on each other.

[00:16:09] And it's not moving right, good.

[00:16:10] Whereas if there's hair in between,

[00:16:12] they move quite a lot better.

[00:16:14] What do you do to get that?

[00:16:15] So it's like hard when I'm running.

[00:16:17] Like I can feel my ass cheeks stuck together

[00:16:19] while I'm running.

[00:16:20] I have got a big bum.

[00:16:23] So like, do you know what I mean?

[00:16:24] So like if you think about it,

[00:16:26] the hair in between your ass crack,

[00:16:27] it's like a bit in between in it.

[00:16:30] So like it's like a little bit carpet

[00:16:31] and then it brushes aside so that your skin

[00:16:33] don't get a stitchy shell.

[00:16:34] Your skin don't get stuck together.

[00:16:35] It's stuck together, does it?

[00:16:37] So like now my skin's sticking together.

[00:16:42] It just feels really weird.

[00:16:44] Like yeah, anyway I've noticed as well.

[00:16:46] What do you have to keep separating it?

[00:16:47] No, I don't have to separate it.

[00:16:49] Like I'm not stuck that bad.

[00:16:50] I've not put like fucking cold on my ass crack.

[00:16:52] Keep your name, fellas.

[00:16:53] Just pull them apart every so often.

[00:16:57] Also if you shave your,

[00:17:01] you crack when you fart.

[00:17:03] It's has like a shoot you're saying.

[00:17:04] Is it?

[00:17:05] Really bad.

[00:17:06] My farts usually, right?

[00:17:08] They just sound like normal.

[00:17:10] But everything's I've shaved my ass crack.

[00:17:11] It sounds like I've followed through.

[00:17:13] Like they just sound really bad.

[00:17:15] Like they sound really weird.

[00:17:16] Like it's almost like a like clapping your ass together.

[00:17:19] Is it like having an angel pull every time that now?

[00:17:23] No.

[00:17:25] That's something to what I build.

[00:17:27] Oh, does it just come out easier?

[00:17:29] No.

[00:17:29] Really?

[00:17:30] There's no benefits shaving your ass crack.

[00:17:31] That's the point of the story.

[00:17:32] If anything it's negatives for a man.

[00:17:35] It's just constant negatives.

[00:17:37] Not for all men, but yeah.

[00:17:38] Okay.

[00:17:41] But yeah, that would just

[00:17:43] I wanted to segue it to that.

[00:17:44] Have you ever shaved your ass?

[00:17:45] No.

[00:17:45] No.

[00:17:46] Never.

[00:17:48] Don't do it.

[00:17:48] I'm not out yet.

[00:17:49] I've never had any puns to be fair.

[00:17:51] Just thought I'd try it.

[00:17:52] I've never done it before.

[00:17:53] To be fair the reason why is because I want no how to do it.

[00:17:57] Well, I don't have to maneuver myself to do it.

[00:17:59] So I'm toilet and I put my arm in the toilet bowl

[00:18:02] and then I did it that way.

[00:18:03] But then what about if you're just fucking slipping,

[00:18:05] you've just cut your fucking bum all up and it's yeah,

[00:18:08] but it's only something like a clip is in it.

[00:18:10] Like it's not going to cut your I bet they're fucking bleed them.

[00:18:13] What but what?

[00:18:14] Bumbles.

[00:18:15] Well, do you like when you get one of them like cuts on your finger

[00:18:18] and it just don't stop pissing blood?

[00:18:20] Yeah, I bet that's what it's like.

[00:18:22] Well, I never know because I've not done it anyway.

[00:18:27] Yeah.

[00:18:28] So that's that what else I've ever done.

[00:18:30] I should be sure this morning.

[00:18:31] No, so not shaving right.

[00:18:33] I'm fucking filming right.

[00:18:35] I'm having a little bit of rampant in it.

[00:18:36] So

[00:18:38] I do that.

[00:18:40] You ready?

[00:18:42] So like everything else that's shitting rather them.

[00:18:45] Yeah.

[00:18:46] The rather them been collection app is also shit.

[00:18:49] Yeah, because I checked it Saturday, right?

[00:18:52] Because I've been getting emptied on a Monday morning, right?

[00:18:57] Last Sunday I checked it and it said it was green bin

[00:19:00] getting emptied eight morning, right?

[00:19:02] Mm-hmm.

[00:19:03] Walk up, walk up Monday morning.

[00:19:05] Let's bank holiday.

[00:19:06] Last Monday.

[00:19:07] Okay.

[00:19:10] We went out, did us things and stuff

[00:19:13] and then came back and everybody's bins were still there

[00:19:16] and no it would be emptied

[00:19:17] and by that time they used to empty it.

[00:19:19] So I did not come round and they've not emptied it.

[00:19:21] So it so knocked been emptied, right?

[00:19:23] I even checked all the neighbors bins

[00:19:25] to make sure it worked just mine.

[00:19:26] So I'd look like a fucking idiot there

[00:19:27] and just go around looking in people's bins.

[00:19:30] So I better check otherwise it might just be mine.

[00:19:33] What's green?

[00:19:34] It's cardboard.

[00:19:35] Right, so anyway, no app and everybody took the bins in

[00:19:39] so I'm assuming that everybody's just got that wrong.

[00:19:42] Anyway, I checked Saturday.

[00:19:46] I checked Saturday on this bin app, right?

[00:19:48] And I said, oh shit, no it's getting emptied now

[00:19:51] till 8th of fucking April and that's the black bin

[00:19:54] and that's fucking recycling, right?

[00:19:56] Right.

[00:19:57] Fucking nice lay in this morning, my cup and I could hear.

[00:20:01] BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.

[00:20:05] It's fucking bin lorry outside.

[00:20:08] It's fucking a rant at window

[00:20:10] because our bedrooms aren't facing back.

[00:20:12] A rant upstairs, I heard it straight away.

[00:20:14] I popped out of bed.

[00:20:16] I fucking a rant other side of ours

[00:20:18] and looked at that window

[00:20:20] and I could see him that street

[00:20:21] and I thought I'm not fucking having this

[00:20:23] and I'd seen everybody's the actual bin

[00:20:27] like the general way's been.

[00:20:28] I fucking run outside, I've got jammers on no shoes,

[00:20:31] nothing, no top.

[00:20:32] I look like a fucking craze maniac.

[00:20:34] I asked you to stick together.

[00:20:35] I asked you to fucking clap in together.

[00:20:37] I fucking ran up, got bin and I'll run into that street

[00:20:39] with bin and I fucking, I'm not being fucking full

[00:20:44] that twice.

[00:20:47] You want to complain about that?

[00:20:48] I know.

[00:20:49] You want some refund on that?

[00:20:50] I've got my bin outside but fucking l,

[00:20:51] I could write many apps at bin men.

[00:20:54] I think they're all right fucking Christmas bottoms and all.

[00:20:57] Anyway, that's my rant about

[00:21:01] rather than bins called Stuype.

[00:21:02] Yeah, sorry man.

[00:21:05] What have you been doing?

[00:21:06] Thanks, you're welcome.

[00:21:10] In three weeks what have I been doing?

[00:21:12] So I've done a stand up gig.

[00:21:15] That went shit.

[00:21:17] The first time I've died on stage.

[00:21:19] Bumbed.

[00:21:21] I did think you were going to talk about it

[00:21:23] because you didn't really need to.

[00:21:25] Why?

[00:21:26] Because you've not posted it anyway so you didn't really have to.

[00:21:28] You could have just ignored it.

[00:21:29] It's fine, I'm sure.

[00:21:30] I'm sure everybody does it.

[00:21:31] OK.

[00:21:32] So I died.

[00:21:33] Yeah, you bummed hard.

[00:21:34] Very hard.

[00:21:35] I was in the audience.

[00:21:36] Silence.

[00:21:36] I booted Billy.

[00:21:38] I didn't fucking.

[00:21:39] I've heard minnit silence is louder than what I've once did.

[00:21:43] So it would have tough kicked off like it's a very fucking

[00:21:47] brutal place.

[00:21:48] It would have played like a small fucking clicky place.

[00:21:51] Should have been at jazz club.

[00:21:52] I'd love minnit fucking clicks.

[00:21:54] Yeah, but basically you've got two minutes on stage.

[00:21:59] Well, like a seven minute set.

[00:22:00] Everybody got a seven minute set and you've got two minutes

[00:22:02] on stage, three minutes.

[00:22:03] And after three minutes you could get recorded by audience

[00:22:05] and then he gets sent off.

[00:22:07] Yeah.

[00:22:08] I think I lasted three minutes, ten seconds.

[00:22:10] Yeah, so I went bad.

[00:22:12] Ah, can I help?

[00:22:14] It's all practice, isn't it?

[00:22:15] You can't fucking knock yourself in.

[00:22:16] Yeah, so I've been in recovery phase for that.

[00:22:20] Don't tell you after that because I'm like depressed and miss

[00:22:22] is running on my tunnel.

[00:22:23] Yeah, he's talking.

[00:22:25] When I had the press by the way, I get rate fucking

[00:22:28] off of it exactly.

[00:22:29] Billy is a dramatic queen.

[00:22:31] He's fucking.

[00:22:32] I'd quit comedy that night.

[00:22:33] That would be it.

[00:22:34] You said it to him.

[00:22:35] You come off.

[00:22:36] I quit.

[00:22:37] I'm done.

[00:22:38] That's it.

[00:22:39] Fuck it.

[00:22:40] You get to win your fields.

[00:22:42] There's no way you could ever do comedy and reckon

[00:22:45] that you'd never bomb.

[00:22:46] It's just done happen.

[00:22:47] Yeah.

[00:22:48] I think it would be you delivery, like you deliver it.

[00:22:52] Like, weren't that good on that night?

[00:22:54] But I have watched you another night and it was better.

[00:22:56] So I don't know what the fuck you did.

[00:22:57] I think you would be nervous to be honest.

[00:22:59] Yeah.

[00:23:00] Yeah, I think there were a lot of things from me off.

[00:23:02] And also, the whole one joke where you just lost everybody.

[00:23:05] We don't need to say what it is.

[00:23:06] Right.

[00:23:07] Yeah.

[00:23:08] But yeah.

[00:23:09] Yeah, I've got that joke out there.

[00:23:10] Yeah, that's how this script.

[00:23:12] Yeah, you could still do the joke, just maybe not

[00:23:15] about the person that you said it were about.

[00:23:17] Yeah.

[00:23:18] You could still do it that way.

[00:23:21] Just next time, run some joke by me before you go on.

[00:23:23] Because I did ask before he went on, I said to him,

[00:23:25] do you want to run some jokes by me before you go on?

[00:23:27] And you're like, no, I've got it.

[00:23:28] I've got it.

[00:23:29] In my own head, I was so confident, but I

[00:23:30] think it's because I know what I meant in my own head.

[00:23:33] I don't think I'm across that way.

[00:23:36] Hello.

[00:23:38] It is what it is, isn't it?

[00:23:39] It's all practice in it.

[00:23:40] So every comedian out there can't set

[00:23:43] their day down on stage.

[00:23:44] No, can they?

[00:23:45] Just go to practice.

[00:23:46] So I think you also need to practice in front of a varied audience

[00:23:49] instead of in the mirror.

[00:23:51] What'd you mean in the mirror?

[00:23:54] Oh, you mean before I go on?

[00:23:55] Yeah, so like if you want to be like me

[00:23:57] little guinea pigs in light.

[00:23:59] Yeah, because like between your friendship group,

[00:24:01] you've got different very, you've got different senses

[00:24:03] of humor.

[00:24:04] Like our light things dark.

[00:24:06] Some people don't.

[00:24:07] Some people like childish humor.

[00:24:09] And then like you don't even mean like you just try out

[00:24:11] the very other jokes.

[00:24:12] And then you know what works ruffly.

[00:24:13] Yeah, they were a shame because they were one joke.

[00:24:15] I really wanted to tell them.

[00:24:16] I didn't get chance to.

[00:24:17] Yeah.

[00:24:19] That'd be right.

[00:24:20] Is what it is, try again?

[00:24:21] Yeah.

[00:24:22] I think why you still getting your legs?

[00:24:25] I think you just stick to open up and like that.

[00:24:28] I do it in that fucking shit again.

[00:24:29] Yeah, I think you just stick to open my nose.

[00:24:31] You went to that way too early.

[00:24:32] Yeah.

[00:24:33] Because on open my night, you probably bet there's less pressure

[00:24:36] because nobody expects all from you.

[00:24:39] Yeah, I think and I think because of that.

[00:24:41] Because you were named on there.

[00:24:44] Right people.

[00:24:44] If you name it's like a set guest list.

[00:24:46] Like people expect you to become it.

[00:24:48] Like if it's just an open night night and just turn up.

[00:24:50] Like no one expects all.

[00:24:52] Yeah, I think and all like cause that obviously had good gigs

[00:24:55] before around.

[00:24:56] Mm hmm.

[00:24:57] I like, you know, probably a bit too confident.

[00:25:01] Mm hmm.

[00:25:02] Okay.

[00:25:03] A bit overconfident.

[00:25:04] Cause like obviously I didn't mean first.

[00:25:06] You did not see in confident.

[00:25:07] You seemed very nervous.

[00:25:08] Like there were, you would, we were all laughing because

[00:25:11] you were holding a beer and it must have been safety glass

[00:25:15] that that glass were made out of.

[00:25:16] Because you were clutching it like you were about to fucking

[00:25:18] smash the fucking thing.

[00:25:19] I don't know, I just got, I've just got a weird feeling.

[00:25:22] Yeah.

[00:25:23] I feel like I had a bit of a feeling before

[00:25:25] and I know this way I'm going to go well.

[00:25:26] Well, and I had a bit, so I'm nervous until I get me first

[00:25:31] laugh.

[00:25:32] Yeah.

[00:25:33] Unfortunately that night didn't happen.

[00:25:34] But in others, I've done, I got that first laugh

[00:25:38] like quite early.

[00:25:39] So then I was like, oh, so do I have achieved some of the

[00:25:42] laugh?

[00:25:43] At least one thing they've laughed.

[00:25:45] So I'm like, not bothered then.

[00:25:47] But yeah.

[00:25:49] And it didn't help some bitch fucking drop the glass in there

[00:25:52] and say so that kind of distracted them.

[00:25:55] And then right, so over that now.

[00:26:01] So I tried a new spot out.

[00:26:03] What have you tried?

[00:26:05] It's called pickleball.

[00:26:07] It's called what?

[00:26:08] Pickleball.

[00:26:09] Pickleball.

[00:26:10] And it's not pickles, if I say.

[00:26:11] Do you pickle balls?

[00:26:12] Right.

[00:26:13] No.

[00:26:14] It's like, I can just grab it.

[00:26:16] It's like, do eat pickles as fast as you have.

[00:26:18] No.

[00:26:19] So it's a racquet spot.

[00:26:21] Okay.

[00:26:22] It's like a paddle.

[00:26:23] Yeah.

[00:26:24] So like a table tennis paddle.

[00:26:26] But on a larger scale.

[00:26:27] This has sounded like varied.

[00:26:29] Like.

[00:26:30] I'm trying to describe it the best part.

[00:26:32] Okay.

[00:26:33] And then it's on like a small tennis cart.

[00:26:35] Okay.

[00:26:36] So it's like table tennis.

[00:26:37] Mm-hmm.

[00:26:38] Bigger.

[00:26:39] Mm-hmm.

[00:26:40] But not as bigger than tennis.

[00:26:42] So it's like in between.

[00:26:46] So you played pickleball.

[00:26:52] You played tennis for children.

[00:26:53] No.

[00:26:54] Right.

[00:26:55] It's by the way, right?

[00:26:56] I want to get tennis for children.

[00:26:57] I'm going to tell you something straight here.

[00:26:59] I'm going to be in fucking team G&B for the next Olympics.

[00:27:02] I don't think you are.

[00:27:03] Because it's going into Olympics.

[00:27:04] It's that bigger spot.

[00:27:05] Is it?

[00:27:06] Yeah.

[00:27:07] Are you sure for definite?

[00:27:08] Sure.

[00:27:09] Absolutely.

[00:27:10] Have you seen it?

[00:27:11] Are you just making this up?

[00:27:12] No, it's not in the Olympics.

[00:27:13] It's going into the Olympics.

[00:27:14] This is why I said have you seen them say that it's going into the Olympics?

[00:27:15] Yeah.

[00:27:16] Because I've been researching on it.

[00:27:17] And in America, it's a fucking massive spot.

[00:27:19] Right.

[00:27:20] And what makes you think that you're good enough to be on the G&B team when there's other people

[00:27:25] that have been playing for like years and years?

[00:27:26] Well, in Great Britain.

[00:27:27] It's not that popular.

[00:27:29] So.

[00:27:30] So you would think of the entire population of Great Britain.

[00:27:32] Yeah.

[00:27:33] You think you'd be on G&B team for pickleball?

[00:27:35] Might be only due to the numbers what player?

[00:27:38] So basically there's seven people in UK that play pickleball and you're the eighth person now.

[00:27:42] Yeah.

[00:27:43] So I've got like, and they might be a team of five.

[00:27:45] So I've got five chance.

[00:27:47] Of course.

[00:27:48] Massive in America though.

[00:27:50] They even have rankings in that.

[00:27:52] Right.

[00:27:53] Okay.

[00:27:54] I want to call someone out but I'm scared since last time.

[00:27:56] It's the bastard didn't reply to me.

[00:27:58] You need to try squash.

[00:28:01] I'll take you to play squash.

[00:28:03] Squash is right.

[00:28:04] Well, I'll take you to play pickleball.

[00:28:05] Okay.

[00:28:06] We'll do a swap.

[00:28:07] We'll do it.

[00:28:08] Yeah.

[00:28:09] Who's the GB number one pickleball champion?

[00:28:12] And I'm going to call for crap.

[00:28:14] Even though I've ever played one.

[00:28:16] What you think you're going to be in?

[00:28:18] Yeah.

[00:28:19] You do this all the time.

[00:28:20] So like I'm confident with stuff.

[00:28:21] Yeah.

[00:28:24] Pickleball champion.

[00:28:32] I don't even think it.

[00:28:37] It doesn't even tell me for you care.

[00:28:39] It just tells me England.

[00:28:41] Well, do we have England?

[00:28:43] USA.

[00:28:44] Well, do USA then.

[00:28:45] Oh, now I can't fight them for cause.

[00:28:47] Go on.

[00:28:48] They're playing playing it.

[00:28:49] They've been out years for them.

[00:28:51] See if you can find out.

[00:28:52] So number one.

[00:28:53] So pickleball.

[00:28:56] Rankins.

[00:29:00] World.

[00:29:02] Pickleball rankings.

[00:29:05] Okay, so from PPA, which is the official ranking?

[00:29:11] Mm-hmm.

[00:29:12] Of pickle.

[00:29:13] Pickles.

[00:29:15] Yes.

[00:29:18] Men's singles.

[00:29:20] This is taking a lot of research power, bit.

[00:29:22] It's not.

[00:29:23] Benjamin, Benjamin Johns from the US over here.

[00:29:27] What is number one in the world?

[00:29:29] Yeah, in the world.

[00:29:30] Call them a call.

[00:29:32] He's going to keep me out.

[00:29:34] I want to advise him.

[00:29:35] How am I going to fight him?

[00:29:36] Benjamin Johns.

[00:29:38] Benjamin Johns, if you pay for my tickets to America.

[00:29:42] I'll fucking beat you on a one-on-one at pickleball.

[00:29:45] You're going to smash Benjamin Johnson.

[00:29:47] Is it Johnson and Johnson?

[00:29:48] John's.

[00:29:49] Benjamin Johns.

[00:29:50] Benjamin Johns.

[00:29:51] Ideally, I want it someone from Britain.

[00:29:53] But this is our popular list.

[00:29:55] Yeah.

[00:29:56] They're all for the ticket.

[00:29:57] It's like the top 700th person from Britain.

[00:30:00] I thought that I fought a good one with Avkantz, a pitch, 41.

[00:30:05] And they're still American.

[00:30:07] Let me try and fucking do a little quick goal.

[00:30:09] Fucking hell, they kids at 30.

[00:30:10] Right, let's play him.

[00:30:15] It's a good spot though, honestly.

[00:30:17] Can you tell people what it is?

[00:30:19] I've just told you.

[00:30:20] Can you tell them again when we're looking?

[00:30:22] So pickleball is like table tennis on a bigger cart with a bigger paddle.

[00:30:30] And then it's like playing tennis.

[00:30:32] Why could you not find something?

[00:30:34] Because I found something immediately my first search.

[00:30:37] What?

[00:30:38] It's probably keywords.

[00:30:39] What did you search?

[00:30:40] British pickleball players.

[00:30:41] That's all I searched.

[00:30:42] What, what?

[00:30:43] And I've got here from pickleball England.

[00:30:47] It's an actual fucking thing.

[00:30:49] Yeah, I know that.

[00:30:50] So congratulations to all the medallists of the 22 English nationals.

[00:30:54] So here you go.

[00:30:57] Yeah, so you've got someone from fucking England.

[00:31:02] You've got Tom Corfield.

[00:31:04] You've got Nathan Hill, Steve Barker, Stephen Cornish, Roger Hill Oliver, Chris Frion, like Peter said, Peter said it.

[00:31:13] David Young's, Chris Mitchell, all these people.

[00:31:19] They're all quite good, yeah.

[00:31:21] Yeah, yeah.

[00:31:22] Thanks, huh?

[00:31:24] Oh, it last one, shall we?

[00:31:26] Women's.

[00:31:27] Let's have a look at women's as well.

[00:31:29] Isabel Poocher, Julie McDowell, Sally Williams, Alice Perrat, Linda Randall, Suzanne Rouse.

[00:31:39] I think Rouse Rouse.

[00:31:42] Yeah, there we go.

[00:31:45] How do I join?

[00:31:46] There you go.

[00:31:48] I'm one of fucking beating.

[00:31:51] Oh my god, they've got their own podcasts.

[00:31:53] Yeah, pickleball.

[00:31:54] There you go.

[00:31:56] Got all pictures.

[00:31:58] Yeah, so now you've seen pictures.

[00:32:00] Do you get it?

[00:32:01] Yeah.

[00:32:04] I love that.

[00:32:07] It's just a crapper version of tennis, but no, it's not.

[00:32:11] It is.

[00:32:12] No, it's not.

[00:32:13] It's for failed tennis players.

[00:32:15] That's what it is.

[00:32:16] It's for people who have tried playing tennis and thought, fuck another cart, do this.

[00:32:18] Well, I've done it for pickleball instead.

[00:32:19] You said I miss squash then, didn't it?

[00:32:21] Yeah, exactly because you'll get a wall.

[00:32:23] We don't have a wall.

[00:32:25] You get to hit against a wall.

[00:32:27] They just failed tennis players.

[00:32:28] They're not.

[00:32:29] The peepers.

[00:32:30] Now I'm going to be one of them.

[00:32:32] Okay, there's been a new ambition now in life.

[00:32:33] Right, okay.

[00:32:34] I'm going to be the best pickleball champion in the world.

[00:32:38] Okay.

[00:32:39] Why not table tennis?

[00:32:40] You've actually quite good at table tennis.

[00:32:43] Yeah, and then imagine what I'm like on pickleball.

[00:32:45] Yeah, but at table tennis you don't have to run about on pickleball you do.

[00:32:48] Yeah, no, you do.

[00:32:50] Well that's the floor right there, no offense.

[00:32:52] Why?

[00:32:53] I'll fucking met it.

[00:32:54] The guy who I played is met it on a bum by the way.

[00:32:57] Right.

[00:32:58] I fucking ran around park.

[00:33:00] Okay.

[00:33:01] I'm very fit when he comes to playing a spot.

[00:33:03] He's just free running.

[00:33:05] I'm not very good at it.

[00:33:06] Well, why don't you just play a spot salt time?

[00:33:08] Well, that's my idea now.

[00:33:09] That's my new fitness regime.

[00:33:12] Okay, playing spot.

[00:33:13] Like if you put me on a football pitch I'll run for fucking forever in the day.

[00:33:17] I'm going to take to rather than leisure center we're going to play squash.

[00:33:20] Alright.

[00:33:21] It's good.

[00:33:22] Well, you need to come play pickleball.

[00:33:25] I'm glad.

[00:33:26] And I am played table tennis because fucking that guy didn't got me up so.

[00:33:30] That means you should stop playing table tennis.

[00:33:32] But I wanted to fight him.

[00:33:34] Fight him.

[00:33:35] Well, that's not right.

[00:33:36] Far is it?

[00:33:37] For you.

[00:33:38] He couldn't spare a three-off an hour just to always not free off an hour though.

[00:33:42] It's like an entire day.

[00:33:43] Well, a day he ain't got a spare day in his life.

[00:33:45] No, not for you.

[00:33:46] Why?

[00:33:47] Because who do you think is not a fucking man of the people then is it?

[00:33:50] Fucking what's his name Tom Jarvis.

[00:33:52] I remember fucking him.

[00:33:53] You actually remember his name.

[00:33:54] I remember his name.

[00:33:55] Tom Jarvis is not a man of the people.

[00:33:59] Fucking.

[00:34:00] I can't believe you remember his name.

[00:34:01] I can't spare a fucking sat there.

[00:34:03] That's Tom Jarvis.

[00:34:05] Oh, I really got to that.

[00:34:06] Really?

[00:34:07] Yeah.

[00:34:08] Not a lot.

[00:34:09] I can not fuck off.

[00:34:10] Honestly.

[00:34:11] Anyway, Alok got me doing this.

[00:34:13] It's time for his segment.

[00:34:14] Is it?

[00:34:15] Yeah.

[00:34:16] Okay.

[00:34:17] This is going to be very...

[00:34:18] We've just freestyled in this because we're not really planned it.

[00:34:21] The song.

[00:34:22] I think from now on we're just making a statement that we're now redoing segments.

[00:34:26] We're recycling.

[00:34:27] We're recycling segments.

[00:34:28] Well, last people come up with someone.

[00:34:31] People have good suggestions but we've just not planned them.

[00:34:34] So, we will use those suggestions that people have told us as well.

[00:34:38] Absolutely.

[00:34:39] Sigmund time.

[00:34:41] Sigmund time.

[00:34:42] This is segment time.

[00:34:44] You said it wrong.

[00:34:46] You said this is segment time.

[00:34:47] It is segment time.

[00:34:48] Oh, do it again.

[00:34:49] You said it wrong.

[00:34:50] I can you fuck it off?

[00:34:51] No, it's no way.

[00:34:52] We've done this now for like, I've had many fucking episodes and it's like six words at

[00:34:56] the top.

[00:34:57] You can't stop because you even forget to do the fucking song in first place.

[00:35:00] Last time.

[00:35:01] Sigmund time.

[00:35:02] Sigmund time.

[00:35:03] Sigmund time.

[00:35:04] It is segment time.

[00:35:05] There you go.

[00:35:06] Yeah.

[00:35:07] Fucking wanker.

[00:35:08] It will go when we did live show and everybody were clapping.

[00:35:10] Yeah, it will.

[00:35:11] Everybody clapped for us.

[00:35:12] Yeah.

[00:35:13] Like what we did to some.

[00:35:14] Yeah.

[00:35:15] Not like we didn't make them clap.

[00:35:17] They didn't do it spontaneously.

[00:35:19] But they shouted out.

[00:35:20] You better clap now.

[00:35:21] Right.

[00:35:22] This is actually a segment that somebody good is.

[00:35:25] Shout out to Katie.

[00:35:28] Yeah.

[00:35:29] We're going to do a fun segment next week and not what we're going to do today.

[00:35:34] Why are we doing that next week?

[00:35:36] Yeah, fuck it.

[00:35:37] Let's do it.

[00:35:38] I'm going to come on it a bit better.

[00:35:39] Okay.

[00:35:40] We're not going to tell you what it is.

[00:35:41] It's a secret.

[00:35:42] Yep.

[00:35:43] Anyway.

[00:35:44] Go on.

[00:35:45] Do you want to say what the segment is?

[00:35:47] Oh my god, I didn't know my jacket zip top over there as well.

[00:35:50] You broke it.

[00:35:51] No, it's two zips.

[00:35:52] Always it.

[00:35:53] Okay.

[00:35:54] Well.

[00:35:56] I see I never understood that.

[00:35:57] Why do you need that?

[00:35:58] Why do you need it?

[00:35:59] Why do you need it fastened at the top and then not bomb?

[00:36:01] Fashion sense.

[00:36:02] So why is that fashion tab your belly button sticking out?

[00:36:05] Why is that fashion?

[00:36:07] The shit is version of Spider-Man ever.

[00:36:10] Oh, like Stombs.

[00:36:11] Right.

[00:36:12] Okay.

[00:36:13] Anyway, the segment is...

[00:36:16] I'm going to tell...

[00:36:17] So it's pitching ideas for commercials.

[00:36:21] Yeah.

[00:36:22] And this is going to go very bad because it's improvisation and not planned it.

[00:36:26] Yeah.

[00:36:27] You just thought we'd wing it.

[00:36:28] Yeah.

[00:36:29] Anyway.

[00:36:30] So...

[00:36:31] We're not going to think of a product.

[00:36:33] Yeah.

[00:36:34] And the other person has to do a commercial idea for it.

[00:36:38] Okay.

[00:36:39] Right.

[00:36:40] We probably should have thought of products before...

[00:36:42] I've already got it.

[00:36:43] I love you.

[00:36:44] I've got three lock and loaded already.

[00:36:46] Right, okay.

[00:36:48] So who's going first?

[00:36:51] Okay.

[00:36:52] You can lock purposes as...

[00:36:54] Very...

[00:36:55] Very to one drop.

[00:36:57] Very to one drop.

[00:36:58] Three, two, one.

[00:37:00] Go!

[00:37:01] I want you to make an advert for a wheelchair with nitros.

[00:37:11] I like to about win it.

[00:37:14] Yeah.

[00:37:15] Like on...

[00:37:16] You're not fast and furious when you flip that button and it goes...

[00:37:18] Okay.

[00:37:19] I want you to make a...

[00:37:20] You need to make an advert for a wheelchair with nitros.

[00:37:25] Okay.

[00:37:26] Okay.

[00:37:27] Great.

[00:37:28] Got some.

[00:37:29] Can I have people in it?

[00:37:32] You can have people in it.

[00:37:33] Like music and everything and are you going to do it?

[00:37:35] Yeah.

[00:37:36] Whatever.

[00:37:37] So a picture.

[00:37:38] I'm setting the scene.

[00:37:40] Louie Sam.

[00:37:41] Louie Sam, what one?

[00:37:43] Right.

[00:37:44] Okay.

[00:37:46] As a severe crash.

[00:37:48] Fucking up right.

[00:37:49] Okay.

[00:37:50] And now I need to wheelchair.

[00:37:51] Right.

[00:37:52] Right.

[00:37:53] Okay.

[00:37:56] But...

[00:37:57] You can't race anymore.

[00:38:00] Here comes...

[00:38:01] Dun dun dun.

[00:38:03] Paralympics, F1.

[00:38:06] Right.

[00:38:07] The advert.

[00:38:08] Right?

[00:38:09] So the advert is...

[00:38:10] I weren't thinking down this line.

[00:38:11] I thought it meant just general people that wanted to go faster in the wheelchairs.

[00:38:14] No, I'm changing...

[00:38:15] I've changed into a spot.

[00:38:17] Right.

[00:38:18] Okay.

[00:38:19] So it's an F1 track.

[00:38:21] Yeah?

[00:38:22] Yeah.

[00:38:23] But it's now it's in the Paralympics.

[00:38:24] Right.

[00:38:25] So this is the advert.

[00:38:26] This is the scene.

[00:38:27] Yeah.

[00:38:28] Okay.

[00:38:29] Thomas Hamilton.

[00:38:30] Thomas Hamilton.

[00:38:31] I've got Thomas Hamilton.

[00:38:32] What Thomas did obviously be fucking it.

[00:38:33] Lo miss Hamilton wheels up.

[00:38:35] He needs a wheelchair.

[00:38:36] To the camera.

[00:38:37] Right.

[00:38:38] And says, think I can't race.

[00:38:40] Yeah.

[00:38:41] Think I can't race.

[00:38:42] Think again.

[00:38:43] Turns his wheelchair to a big fuck off exhaust.

[00:38:45] Fuck my career.

[00:38:46] Okay.

[00:38:47] Okay.

[00:38:48] And then he wheels up to Racing Track to F1.

[00:38:53] There's all cars around him.

[00:38:54] All F1 cars around him.

[00:38:55] So Lois Hamilton's in a wheelchair and he's versing other F1 cars.

[00:38:59] Right.

[00:39:00] Listen.

[00:39:01] Yeah.

[00:39:02] Right.

[00:39:03] We're getting...

[00:39:04] You know, the lights go.

[00:39:05] No.

[00:39:06] No.

[00:39:07] Better.

[00:39:08] You know, they get the girl in fast and furious.

[00:39:09] That comes out with the flags.

[00:39:10] Yeah.

[00:39:11] She comes out in a wheelchair.

[00:39:13] Okay.

[00:39:14] And she goes, are you ready?

[00:39:16] Are you ready?

[00:39:17] Three, two, one, go.

[00:39:19] It goes.

[00:39:20] And as soon as he starts,

[00:39:23] so it goes before the other cars.

[00:39:26] Advertended.

[00:39:28] Screen comes up.

[00:39:32] Applications for...

[00:39:36] Applications for Paralympic and Champions available now.

[00:39:41] Okay.

[00:39:42] Don't tell me that weren't fucking boss to sell that one.

[00:39:44] To sell that on spot.

[00:39:47] So your idea is that you've made a new Paralympic spot

[00:39:50] where it's wheelchair racing,

[00:39:52] but everybody's got 9 trusts.

[00:39:54] Yeah.

[00:39:55] So you've given me a product

[00:39:56] and I've turned it into a fucking career.

[00:39:58] Right.

[00:39:59] Okay.

[00:40:00] You know what I mean?

[00:40:01] We're getting world championships, then we can turn it.

[00:40:03] Why isn't...

[00:40:04] Why stop at F1?

[00:40:05] Why don't we do it on fucking dirt track?

[00:40:08] I'm from a wheelchair.

[00:40:10] No trust.

[00:40:11] Okay.

[00:40:14] Okay.

[00:40:15] Any fucking motorsport now?

[00:40:17] That sounds fair.

[00:40:18] Do you know what?

[00:40:19] That sounds quite fun.

[00:40:20] Even better.

[00:40:21] I think I'd like to have a go.

[00:40:23] We'll get it Winter Olympics.

[00:40:25] Skijum.

[00:40:26] Tucket.

[00:40:28] It's actually sounds fun.

[00:40:30] I'd love to go in there.

[00:40:31] You know, like in a wheelchair we know.

[00:40:32] So I'd love to have a go.

[00:40:33] You're just bang and you're gone.

[00:40:34] Skijum pit be mad.

[00:40:35] If you're landing don't die, you basically win.

[00:40:37] Nice.

[00:40:38] Yeah, it sounds fun.

[00:40:40] Yeah?

[00:40:41] Nice.

[00:40:42] Yeah, good. Well done.

[00:40:43] That was really good.

[00:40:44] I don't think man's gonna be that good.

[00:40:45] Ah, that's just...

[00:40:46] I hope you're not giving me a fucking...

[00:40:47] You're not gonna screw me off of a weird product.

[00:40:49] No, you're gonna laugh at this product.

[00:40:51] Come on, that's my go.

[00:40:52] So...

[00:40:53] Let the scene.

[00:40:55] This is the product I'm giving you.

[00:40:57] Okay.

[00:40:59] It's a U-Bend Racer for your bum all.

[00:41:02] Where were this other day?

[00:41:06] I could have used this.

[00:41:08] I just thought it, wow you were telling me it's story.

[00:41:12] Sell it man.

[00:41:13] Make the advert.

[00:41:14] So it's a U-Bend...

[00:41:15] So it's shaped like a U.

[00:41:16] A giant U.

[00:41:17] Purposely only for crack.

[00:41:19] No else.

[00:41:20] Right, okay.

[00:41:21] So the way it's gonna start is gonna start serious.

[00:41:24] Right.

[00:41:25] Okay.

[00:41:26] It's going black there.

[00:41:28] It's gonna pan in and it's looking from the corner of a bathroom.

[00:41:31] Looking at somebody that's in the floor in pain, covered in blood.

[00:41:35] Right?

[00:41:36] Fuck yeah!

[00:41:37] Somebody's on the floor in pain, covered in blood.

[00:41:39] And it's just blood everywhere.

[00:41:40] It's a massacre.

[00:41:41] Yeah.

[00:41:42] And it's to end the rock Johnson.

[00:41:44] It's on the floor is in pain.

[00:41:46] Why am I?

[00:41:47] Just because even big strong men can be reduced to like nothingness from shaving the bumble.

[00:41:52] Okay.

[00:41:53] Right.

[00:41:54] So as he's craning pain,

[00:41:58] like there's gonna be like a free scratch.

[00:42:00] And then he's gonna walk into the screen.

[00:42:02] He's gonna be like this for me 12 hours ago.

[00:42:04] Right, okay.

[00:42:06] Look what happened to me.

[00:42:08] And then he's going back in time.

[00:42:10] He's got a DeLorean.

[00:42:11] It goes out and he gets in a DeLorean.

[00:42:13] Is that what they called?

[00:42:14] The car from back to the future.

[00:42:16] DeLorean.

[00:42:17] It gets in the car with the DeLorean.

[00:42:19] The docks there as well.

[00:42:20] Right.

[00:42:21] And the docks says,

[00:42:23] You need a U-Bend razor!

[00:42:25] We've gotta go...

[00:42:26] Go into the future!

[00:42:27] 20 years!

[00:42:28] 20 years.

[00:42:29] They go into the future 20 years.

[00:42:30] And he goes to local Alde right corner.

[00:42:33] Right.

[00:42:34] This is to end the rock Johnson in Alde with the docks,

[00:42:35] with the Lauren Pazek-Carpock.

[00:42:37] Yeah.

[00:42:38] And the docks shows him a U-shaped razor.

[00:42:43] Right.

[00:42:44] And then he goes home, tries it.

[00:42:46] And then he's just the rest of the adverts just doing the rock Johnson shaving bumble.

[00:42:51] And while he's doing it, he's smiling.

[00:42:53] He's smiling.

[00:42:55] There's no blood.

[00:42:56] And then the cleanership.

[00:42:59] The rocks, the rocks like them rock.

[00:43:01] It's like perfect advertisement mix.

[00:43:03] He's got a nice clean shaving head.

[00:43:05] He is now going to a nice clean shave bumble.

[00:43:07] Like he's just clean shaving everywhere.

[00:43:09] Yeah.

[00:43:10] And then it ends again and he says,

[00:43:13] Everyone deserves to be able to have a comfortable bumble shave.

[00:43:16] Done.

[00:43:17] Done.

[00:43:18] I've got that.

[00:43:19] I'll do it.

[00:43:21] Oh, you need a product, don't you?

[00:43:22] Yeah, I need the product.

[00:43:23] Give me some to sell, mate.

[00:43:30] An Easter egg that's made out of granite.

[00:43:33] What's granite?

[00:43:34] A hard rock that you can't eat.

[00:43:37] So you want me to fucking...

[00:43:40] You want me to make an Easter egg?

[00:43:43] Yeah.

[00:43:45] What?

[00:43:46] So you want me to fucking...

[00:43:48] You want me to make an Easter egg that you can't.

[00:43:51] You want me to sell an Easter egg that you can't eat.

[00:43:55] Let me think of a different one.

[00:43:57] Okay.

[00:44:00] I want you...

[00:44:04] To be able to sell to me.

[00:44:08] Right, imagine, imagine, right.

[00:44:10] I'm thinking on spot where I'm on, I'm thinking of a good product.

[00:44:12] What's some of that everybody needs?

[00:44:18] I want you to sell to me a toilet plunger that sings K-pop when you use it.

[00:44:22] That sings fucking K-pop.

[00:44:24] Yeah.

[00:44:28] Okay.

[00:44:30] It's a toilet plunger and it...

[00:44:32] When you use it, when you're flushing shit, it sings K-pop.

[00:44:36] I only know one K-pop band that's going to be BTS.

[00:44:39] Okay.

[00:44:40] Set the scene.

[00:44:41] K-pop.

[00:44:43] Right, I had a idea.

[00:44:45] We're in Tokyo.

[00:44:47] K-pop.

[00:44:48] Right.

[00:44:49] Okay.

[00:44:50] There's a plunger.

[00:44:51] There's a plumber, sorry.

[00:44:53] And he's got a regular plunger.

[00:44:56] Right.

[00:44:57] Yeah.

[00:44:58] And he's getting it a good go.

[00:45:00] Yeah.

[00:45:01] And it's just...it's not working.

[00:45:04] And he's getting it.

[00:45:06] And it's just...it's not working.

[00:45:09] And he's getting that mad when he pulls out,

[00:45:13] it falls through paper-mashier door.

[00:45:16] Right, okay.

[00:45:17] It's just fall straight from that.

[00:45:19] Yeah, okay.

[00:45:20] And then he goes, ah!

[00:45:22] And then he says in Japanese,

[00:45:25] only if there was something what would make this more fun.

[00:45:29] And Japanese.

[00:45:32] Yeah.

[00:45:33] Five spirits come.

[00:45:36] Okay.

[00:45:37] It's BTS.

[00:45:38] Okay.

[00:45:39] In the spirit of BTS.

[00:45:40] Yeah.

[00:45:41] I've come to this Japanese plumber.

[00:45:42] Yeah, okay.

[00:45:43] Why am I saying Korean?

[00:45:44] Sorry.

[00:45:45] Yeah, sorry.

[00:45:46] Sorry, sorry.

[00:45:47] Sorry, sorry.

[00:45:48] Sorry, sorry.

[00:45:49] Sorry, sorry.

[00:45:50] Sorry, sorry.

[00:45:51] Sorry, sorry.

[00:45:52] Sorry.

[00:45:53] We got it wrong.

[00:45:54] Yeah, it's Korea.

[00:45:55] We're in South Korea.

[00:45:56] Yes.

[00:45:57] Yeah.

[00:45:58] We're not in North Korea.

[00:45:59] We're in South Korea.

[00:46:00] Yeah, sorry.

[00:46:01] When South.

[00:46:02] South?

[00:46:03] Is that in South?

[00:46:04] I don't know how many South Koreans are.

[00:46:05] No, many South Koreans are.

[00:46:06] South?

[00:46:07] Where it's up.

[00:46:08] Where it's up.

[00:46:09] Hang on.

[00:46:10] We want to get it right.

[00:46:11] Yeah.

[00:46:12] We don't want to give you false products.

[00:46:13] South?

[00:46:14] Yeah.

[00:46:15] South is the fucking capital.

[00:46:16] Oh, there you go.

[00:46:17] Well done.

[00:46:18] South Korea.

[00:46:19] Yeah.

[00:46:20] So you're in South.

[00:46:21] Yeah, we got mixed up.

[00:46:22] Sorry.

[00:46:23] So yeah, BTS have come into this plumber.

[00:46:26] Right, okay.

[00:46:27] And they've all put...

[00:46:29] You know, same power in your Zanya.

[00:46:32] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:46:33] So they all make a form.

[00:46:34] Okay, so BTS have formed together.

[00:46:38] So they go, well, how do they do with the power in just thing now?

[00:46:42] When they turn into...

[00:46:43] They say which one they are, don't they?

[00:46:44] Yeah.

[00:46:45] I don't know the name.

[00:46:46] When they turn into a power in your...

[00:46:47] Yeah.

[00:46:48] So they also their individual names.

[00:46:49] Yeah.

[00:46:50] The slap the wrist.

[00:46:51] Yeah.

[00:46:52] And then the bright light comes out.

[00:46:53] Yeah.

[00:46:54] And it forms into a giant plunger.

[00:46:56] Right, okay.

[00:46:57] With some bare speakers on it.

[00:47:00] Right.

[00:47:01] And when they plunge, so when he plunges now, the speakers happen.

[00:47:06] I can't think of a BTS song.

[00:47:08] But it plays a BTS song.

[00:47:09] But because of their bass on the speakers, it vibrates down the toilet.

[00:47:14] It's the ultimate plunger.

[00:47:15] Yeah.

[00:47:16] And then the guy only has to do it once and it pulls away.

[00:47:19] And the shit comes out with a toilet singing at Dancing.

[00:47:22] You should go down the toilet.

[00:47:25] No, no.

[00:47:26] It's a bad plumber if he's making it come out.

[00:47:28] Yeah.

[00:47:30] Yeah.

[00:47:31] The end, I think that's all done.

[00:47:33] That was really good.

[00:47:34] Creative as I could get.

[00:47:36] Yeah.

[00:47:37] Just quick reference BTS song you could have had fire but to die in my permission to dance by

[00:47:42] with Love Run to BTS Fake Love, all that and lots.

[00:47:45] All right, okay.

[00:47:46] Yeah.

[00:47:47] Nice.

[00:47:48] Well done.

[00:47:49] Thanks.

[00:47:50] That was good.

[00:47:51] I enjoyed that one.

[00:47:52] We've been doing it.

[00:47:53] We've got enough for another one each.

[00:47:54] Yeah.

[00:47:55] So you've had two weren't you?

[00:47:56] Yeah.

[00:47:57] So it's one each.

[00:47:58] Is this last one?

[00:48:00] Yeah.

[00:48:01] Yeah, okay.

[00:48:02] Right.

[00:48:03] Hmm.

[00:48:04] I've got a product.

[00:48:06] Okay.

[00:48:10] I'm trying to think about it actually.

[00:48:12] The logistics of it.

[00:48:21] So it's a spray.

[00:48:26] Like an aerosol spray.

[00:48:28] No, so it's a food spray.

[00:48:30] A food spray?

[00:48:31] What's that?

[00:48:32] So whatever you can, you've got to dial on it.

[00:48:36] Yeah.

[00:48:37] So it changes.

[00:48:38] So it's like a spray canister.

[00:48:39] Yeah.

[00:48:40] So it changes to like barbecue, ketchup, mayo, mustard, relish, whatever.

[00:48:46] Right.

[00:48:47] And you spray it onto your food.

[00:48:48] Okay.

[00:48:49] For it to be that flavor.

[00:48:52] Okay.

[00:48:53] So it make the atmosphere.

[00:48:55] Is that it?

[00:48:56] Yeah.

[00:48:57] Right.

[00:48:58] There's a perfect sports banana for this.

[00:49:00] Well, give me a hand then because I don't know those.

[00:49:03] Garden Ramsey.

[00:49:05] It's cooking.

[00:49:06] Garden Ramsey won't ever advertise that shit.

[00:49:08] It was.

[00:49:09] It's cooking.

[00:49:10] No, no, no, no.

[00:49:11] Right.

[00:49:12] You'll be able to say the scene.

[00:49:13] It's shot, okay.

[00:49:14] Go.

[00:49:15] We're in Southern Texas.

[00:49:17] I'm there.

[00:49:18] We're in Southern Texas.

[00:49:19] It's warm.

[00:49:20] Yeah.

[00:49:21] And absolutely overweight or beast.

[00:49:23] Texas man comes in cowboy.

[00:49:25] It can be a cowboy who's really overweight.

[00:49:27] He's morbidly obese.

[00:49:28] He's on death row.

[00:49:29] We jack Daniels in his hand.

[00:49:31] No, he's not my jack Daniels in his hand.

[00:49:33] He's got a rifle.

[00:49:34] He's got a rifle in his arm.

[00:49:36] And he's got this kind of spraying on the other end.

[00:49:39] Right.

[00:49:40] Right.

[00:49:41] Yeah.

[00:49:42] Any waddles in?

[00:49:43] Yeah.

[00:49:44] Like the meaning of that is that you can't say that it's a real

[00:49:49] like the music stops.

[00:49:51] The music as it's coming in, the music that's playing is from

[00:49:55] what's he called?

[00:49:56] America.

[00:49:57] Fuck yeah.

[00:49:58] It's coming up from Team America.

[00:50:00] That's that's the song that's on.

[00:50:01] Yeah.

[00:50:02] Right.

[00:50:03] This really obese, or beast, it's really obese.

[00:50:05] Texas man with a rifle in his hand comes in and has got your spray

[00:50:08] canister in a holster in a like a pistol holster.

[00:50:11] Yeah.

[00:50:12] The spray canister is in the pistol holster.

[00:50:13] Yeah.

[00:50:14] Right.

[00:50:15] And it looks it looks directly at cameras after his waddle-din.

[00:50:17] It's took him like five minutes to waddle-din.

[00:50:19] This advert's like ten minutes long.

[00:50:20] Right.

[00:50:21] And he looks at the camera and he goes, I know what I won't.

[00:50:27] And what I won't.

[00:50:29] It's so senakan.

[00:50:32] Yeah.

[00:50:33] And then it gets kind of like he would do a pistol with spins

[00:50:38] it around his fingers.

[00:50:39] Sprays the screen with the can.

[00:50:41] Shhh.

[00:50:42] Now that's barbecue.

[00:50:45] And then it just kills a lot of people and then we'll know.

[00:50:50] Just because it's into a school.

[00:50:52] And then he's done.

[00:50:53] Yeah.

[00:50:54] Good.

[00:50:55] Yeah.

[00:50:56] I like that one.

[00:50:57] Nice.

[00:50:58] Yeah.

[00:50:59] I thought you were going to say ranch sauce, because that's a very

[00:51:04] American thing.

[00:51:05] Yeah.

[00:51:06] Ranch sauce.

[00:51:07] Yeah.

[00:51:08] I want more food.

[00:51:09] I'm trying to think.

[00:51:10] Okay.

[00:51:11] Have we got time?

[00:51:12] We have got time here.

[00:51:13] Let me think of one quick.

[00:51:15] All right.

[00:51:16] Let me think quick.

[00:51:18] Trying to think.

[00:51:19] Put me on the spot now.

[00:51:22] I want you.

[00:51:32] Okay.

[00:51:33] To advertise.

[00:51:35] Yeah.

[00:51:36] I want you to advertise.

[00:51:40] Right.

[00:51:42] I want you to advertise.

[00:51:44] I want you to advertise.

[00:51:45] Yeah.

[00:51:46] I want you to advertise.

[00:51:47] It's not a live switch.

[00:51:48] Okay.

[00:51:49] But every time you turn it on and off, it makes a sexual noise.

[00:51:52] So I'm talking like loud.

[00:51:53] So like, so like when you turn it on and the light comes on,

[00:51:57] it can be.

[00:51:58] And when the light goes off, it can be.

[00:52:01] Okay.

[00:52:04] Set the scene.

[00:52:07] Okay.

[00:52:08] Okay.

[00:52:13] We're downstairs.

[00:52:15] Okay.

[00:52:16] At the kitchen table.

[00:52:18] Right.

[00:52:18] Okay.

[00:52:19] Yeah.

[00:52:19] Gets better.

[00:52:21] Man.

[00:52:22] Wife.

[00:52:23] Yep.

[00:52:23] Failed marriage.

[00:52:26] Okay.

[00:52:26] I keep part.

[00:52:27] Yeah.

[00:52:28] Failed.

[00:52:29] It's not working.

[00:52:29] They've tried it.

[00:52:30] They've tried everything.

[00:52:31] They've tried couples very

[00:52:32] prepared.

[00:52:33] They've tried three.

[00:52:33] So no, it's fucking working.

[00:52:35] Right.

[00:52:35] Okay.

[00:52:35] Marriage is dead.

[00:52:36] Yeah.

[00:52:36] Right.

[00:52:37] Okay.

[00:52:38] But because in the divorce,

[00:52:41] it doesn't, the guy doesn't want to lose everything.

[00:52:43] Yeah.

[00:52:45] He don't, he wants to stay fearful.

[00:52:46] Okay.

[00:52:48] But he needs her to leave.

[00:52:49] She won't leave.

[00:52:50] She won't accept the marriage because of the kids.

[00:52:53] Okay.

[00:52:54] Right.

[00:52:57] This is an advert by the way.

[00:52:58] Yeah.

[00:52:59] This is an advert.

[00:53:00] So they're at the dinner table.

[00:53:01] They're arguing just.

[00:53:02] Yeah.

[00:53:02] Fucking fire coming out of each other.

[00:53:04] Yeah.

[00:53:04] Screaming at each other.

[00:53:05] Oh, you're fucking...

[00:53:07] Why have you passed Nicky Mistake again?

[00:53:09] Yeah.

[00:53:10] We're trying to kill me.

[00:53:11] Right?

[00:53:12] Okay.

[00:53:13] And the, the so argument ends.

[00:53:15] It gets a doll bell.

[00:53:16] Ding-ding.

[00:53:17] His package has come.

[00:53:18] Okay.

[00:53:19] It's the light switch.

[00:53:21] Swap.

[00:53:22] Okay.

[00:53:24] He opens it up.

[00:53:25] Is this light switch called a Fixed East Marriage?

[00:53:27] Nope.

[00:53:29] We're going to different direction on this one pop.

[00:53:31] Okay.

[00:53:34] She goes to yoga lessons.

[00:53:36] Right.

[00:53:37] So he's got the package.

[00:53:38] And it looks at the, it looks at the fridge.

[00:53:41] And it's got a schedule.

[00:53:42] And it says...

[00:53:43] The wife yoga.

[00:53:45] So she's not in there.

[00:53:46] It runs upstairs.

[00:53:48] It quickly changes the light switch.

[00:53:49] Yeah?

[00:53:50] For this new one.

[00:53:51] Yeah.

[00:53:52] Okay.

[00:53:53] When she comes home...

[00:53:54] He's just there.

[00:53:55] Fucking it.

[00:53:56] Ah!

[00:53:57] Okay.

[00:53:58] So soon as she walks in...

[00:54:01] She could, she's here in this.

[00:54:03] Ah!

[00:54:04] Okay.

[00:54:05] Ah!

[00:54:06] Ah!

[00:54:07] She's thinking the fucking bastard's doing it.

[00:54:11] He's fucking cheating on me.

[00:54:13] Yeah.

[00:54:14] So she storms that.

[00:54:16] And he's filmed it.

[00:54:17] He's filming it.

[00:54:18] She stormed that.

[00:54:19] Filed for divorce.

[00:54:20] He's gone to court.

[00:54:21] He's submitted the footage.

[00:54:23] She's left him because she thinks he's cheating on him.

[00:54:26] He gets the hour.

[00:54:27] He gets everything.

[00:54:28] End of the story.

[00:54:30] Okay.

[00:54:31] I don't really know what I've been to put on that.

[00:54:34] You could have said that it got on back together.

[00:54:37] Like, the sound made it more aroused.

[00:54:39] No.

[00:54:40] And then they just did it on kitchen table.

[00:54:41] Oh yeah.

[00:54:42] It kind of got on my angle.

[00:54:44] Yeah.

[00:54:45] You weren't really dark really fast.

[00:54:46] But it's just...

[00:54:47] It's the way it is in there.

[00:54:48] Okay.

[00:54:49] Nice, yeah.

[00:54:50] It's far out.

[00:54:51] How do you get rid of it?

[00:54:52] Yeah.

[00:54:53] Make a thing somewhere.

[00:54:54] Let it know.

[00:54:55] Never let it know.

[00:54:56] You next move.

[00:54:57] Okay.

[00:54:58] Like, can I think of one more for you?

[00:55:00] We've got time.

[00:55:03] Okay.

[00:55:04] Right.

[00:55:05] You need to sell me this.

[00:55:09] It's this chewing gum.

[00:55:14] Right.

[00:55:15] And whenever anybody...

[00:55:18] Man, that's it man.

[00:55:21] It only works with men.

[00:55:23] Okay.

[00:55:24] Choose it.

[00:55:25] Yeah.

[00:55:26] It attracts females to him.

[00:55:29] Okay.

[00:55:31] So, you target audience as single guys.

[00:55:35] Eat this chewing gum.

[00:55:37] And whatever.

[00:55:38] I don't know.

[00:55:39] Very much or whatever.

[00:55:40] Ah, so let me understand the product first.

[00:55:43] So the chewing gum, you chew it and that makes...

[00:55:45] That reacts with your breath and you get ferribones.

[00:55:48] Yes.

[00:55:49] And then when we talk to women they get like whatever.

[00:55:52] And they'd like to smell you.

[00:55:54] Yeah.

[00:55:55] Okay.

[00:55:56] So set me the adversive.

[00:55:57] Oh, this is hard.

[00:56:00] Right.

[00:56:03] Right, okay.

[00:56:05] Scene start, right?

[00:56:07] I forgot his name the actor but it's Paul Blot-Malco.

[00:56:10] Same.

[00:56:11] Kevin James.

[00:56:13] It's Kevin James, right?

[00:56:14] Yeah.

[00:56:15] Kevin James is sat on setty.

[00:56:18] He's got...

[00:56:19] He's boxers on, right?

[00:56:21] He's covered in Cheetos.

[00:56:22] Yeah.

[00:56:23] Right.

[00:56:24] And he's just flicking through TV.

[00:56:25] He's just...

[00:56:26] He's not your lady's man.

[00:56:27] He's not like that.

[00:56:28] Right.

[00:56:29] Yeah, yeah.

[00:56:30] Christian Baill, Nox Dany's door.

[00:56:33] Right?

[00:56:34] Yeah.

[00:56:35] Christian Baill, Nox Dany's door, Slaps him.

[00:56:36] Christian Baill is in Batman outfit, right?

[00:56:38] Yeah, okay.

[00:56:39] He's Nox Dany's door, Slaps him and he goes...

[00:56:41] There's no time for this.

[00:56:43] You need to save your money.

[00:56:46] If passes him this chewing gum and he says to him,

[00:56:48] This is going to save you life.

[00:56:51] Yeah.

[00:56:52] Kevin James eats this chewing gum.

[00:56:55] Right in front of Christian Baill, Batman.

[00:56:57] Right?

[00:56:58] Christian Baill doesn't know that it also works on men.

[00:57:01] Oh, right.

[00:57:02] So Kevin James is eating this chewing gum in front of Christian Baill.

[00:57:06] And Christian Baill's lots of scorn has just lost it.

[00:57:08] Christian Baill's ravaged him.

[00:57:09] Kevin James has just lost and he just doesn't know what to do.

[00:57:11] Yeah.

[00:57:12] Christian...

[00:57:13] Kevin James has just lost the setteen.

[00:57:14] He's getting molested by Christian Baill as Batman.

[00:57:16] I see.

[00:57:17] And he don't know what to do.

[00:57:18] So I've actually just done an advert and you've met gay opponents.

[00:57:21] But, right.

[00:57:22] And then he thinks,

[00:57:23] Fuckin' hell, this is powerful.

[00:57:24] Yeah.

[00:57:25] So Kevin James goes, ah, right?

[00:57:28] And he goes to the fucking political hero in a,

[00:57:32] if he's town council, right?

[00:57:34] Kevin James, right?

[00:57:35] With his thing.

[00:57:36] Christian Baill was Batman's following him back because he's in love with him.

[00:57:39] Yeah.

[00:57:40] He's his entourage.

[00:57:41] And then Kevin James, right?

[00:57:44] He wants to secretly become the president.

[00:57:46] So what he does, it fucks his way up the hierarchy.

[00:57:48] So then the next town, tell me in,

[00:57:50] it gets the fucking mayorist city and he gets the mayor to be in love with him.

[00:57:54] And he gets Christian Baill to take pictures as Batman for it, right?

[00:57:58] So that he doesn't leave it so that he can Batman him and that he's what I don't find out.

[00:58:02] Yeah.

[00:58:03] Right.

[00:58:04] And then after that, anyway,

[00:58:06] it just ends with Kevin James being president.

[00:58:08] And Christian Baill was Batman is his VP.

[00:58:11] And then yeah, Christian Baill is just fucked his birthday president from this chewing gum.

[00:58:15] And then you could have the slogan,

[00:58:17] give some head to get ahead.

[00:58:19] Yeah!

[00:58:20] To get ahead!

[00:58:21] Yeah!

[00:58:23] There you go. There's the chewing gum for like...

[00:58:27] That chewing gum.

[00:58:28] That one was really weird twist.

[00:58:30] I'm not gonna lie.

[00:58:32] Well, I don't even know, I don't think Compass know what direction we were going in that one.

[00:58:36] It just went really bad to him.

[00:58:41] I didn't want it to be like a big sexy thing.

[00:58:43] Just said just said just just...

[00:58:45] Just Kevin James, that's actually Batman.

[00:58:47] You could have said he just started necking men and women.

[00:58:49] Yeah, true.

[00:58:50] I just thought my way about that.

[00:58:51] Yeah, anyway good.

[00:58:52] I liked it.

[00:58:53] Well, it ends with...

[00:58:54] It's like, it's emotional.

[00:58:56] Yeah.

[00:58:57] There's twists and turns in it, nobody know.

[00:58:59] Yeah.

[00:59:00] And it also ended up with posy bat because Kevin James is president.

[00:59:03] Do you really think he'd be a good president?

[00:59:05] I don't know.

[00:59:06] What have to say?

[00:59:09] Anyway.

[00:59:10] Anyway.

[00:59:11] And then there's like...

[00:59:12] That could be the same thing, right, for like different versions of like countries.

[00:59:17] Like, if you okay, you could have its own version.

[00:59:20] I don't know what's that gonna be.

[00:59:21] So, I don't know.

[00:59:22] What's a good UK actor?

[00:59:23] Tom Arde.

[00:59:24] So we've got Tom Arde.

[00:59:26] Henry Cavill.

[00:59:27] Henry Cavill.

[00:59:28] So, we've got...

[00:59:30] Henry Cavill.

[00:59:31] So we've got Tom Arde on set A covered in fucking workers.

[00:59:36] Chris, he's covering workers or wakseys, whatever.

[00:59:38] See, I thought you were going at the angle because he was like...

[00:59:41] Kevin James isn't really that attractive.

[00:59:44] That's the angle I thought you were going to be going at.

[00:59:46] Yeah, we're.

[00:59:48] That's what we're doing.

[00:59:49] Like, he was single.

[00:59:50] He's an attractive.

[00:59:51] He can't meet women.

[00:59:52] Yeah.

[00:59:53] But he ended up being president.

[00:59:54] Because of that joy.

[00:59:55] I think that's had good that joy.

[00:59:56] I thought you were going to find love.

[00:59:58] Get married.

[00:59:59] But he ended up doing opposite.

[01:00:00] We're going into hours as a bar.

[01:00:01] Man screwing women and fucking finding love and having a family and that.

[01:00:04] It's just become the working world leader.

[01:00:06] Well, read it.

[01:00:07] Don't act like that.

[01:00:09] Yeah, I like the twist on it.

[01:00:10] But then like...

[01:00:11] You can do it if you use it for different countries.

[01:00:12] Like, you could like say, you could have Tom Arde on set A.

[01:00:14] And then Henry Cavill dress a Superman comes in.

[01:00:16] And then...

[01:00:17] Canada.

[01:00:18] There we go.

[01:00:19] You'd have to like Canadian actors.

[01:00:20] We're Iron Reynolds.

[01:00:21] Yeah, you could have Iron Reynolds.

[01:00:22] Just in Beaver.

[01:00:23] Yeah.

[01:00:24] Friend...

[01:00:25] French actors.

[01:00:26] You could have French actors.

[01:00:27] German actors.

[01:00:28] Yeah.

[01:00:29] I don't like German actors.

[01:00:30] Yeah.

[01:00:31] Do you know any German actors?

[01:00:32] No.

[01:00:33] Only French actors?

[01:00:34] No.

[01:00:35] We probably do.

[01:00:36] But Spanish.

[01:00:37] No, I do, but I don't know the names of...

[01:00:38] Antonio Banderes.

[01:00:39] Okay.

[01:00:40] In this...

[01:00:41] In this advert, which one is Antonio Banderes?

[01:00:43] Is he busting in as...

[01:00:45] As Zorro?

[01:00:46] Or is he busting in...

[01:00:47] Or is he the guy on the set A?

[01:00:49] Err...

[01:00:50] I don't think we're in a Spanish actor.

[01:00:51] Hmm.

[01:00:52] Can you think we're in a Spanish?

[01:00:54] No.

[01:00:55] I don't know loads.

[01:00:56] I just don't know by name.

[01:00:57] I'd have to do some Google.

[01:00:59] I'd know the faces.

[01:01:00] That's the thing.

[01:01:01] I remember faces, not names.

[01:01:02] Anyway.

[01:01:03] I'll say it for this week.

[01:01:04] Very weird segment.

[01:01:05] Yeah.

[01:01:06] Oh God.

[01:01:07] All right.

[01:01:08] Thanks guys.

[01:01:09] Cheers guys.

[01:01:10] Bye.