Pub Quiz!

[00:00:03] Should we do a podcast? What would we even call it? MindMap Ah, go on then Welcome back to another episode of MindMap with Billy and Jack Nobody fucking cares about that Did you know that the world's largest chocolate easter egg weighed over 7,000 kilograms? 7,000?

[00:00:33] 7,000 kilograms of chocolate Wow, you could fucking live in it It's the Guinness World Record So it was made in Italy in 2011 It was taller than a giraffe And heavier than an elephant Why do people go to so extremes? Like for Guinness World Book of Records No idea Like you can get one for anything World's biggest easter egg Over 7,000 kilograms in chocolate Fucking hell Can you imagine trying to eat that? Yeah Attack a village

[00:01:03] Yeah You would Fucking hell How would you even You wouldn't be able to get your gnashes on it would you? Wait, do you know what they should have done? Get it all homeless Well I don't know what they did with it Maybe they did somewhere Where was it? In Italy Oh in Italy Yeah Well there's homeless in Italy Yeah there's homeless everywhere Fucking hell went to Rome man Yeah There's loads of them Yeah I mean I think they were fake Also by the way When you said geats are homeless It's food innit? It is food yeah but I didn't mean as a house

[00:01:34] I meant as like a Is it white I don't know It's chocolate innit? An easter egg is chocolate yeah Yeah We can't get any proper food But here's some fucking chocolate That's got like no nutritional value What's the food innit? It's food innit? It's survival innit? It is yeah All that gets you through today Yeah I suppose Not a good one that Yeah cheers pal Wheat bean Yeah Themed as well innit? I know I thought about to say

[00:02:03] Oh my god you've actually paid attention Yeah To it Yeah Very nice Shall I do my joke? Go on then Okay I didn't theme mine You've not themed it? No Did you not think? Yeah no Why do orphans Have Why You know it's Easter It's you know Special occasion Still orphans Yeah Why do orphans Have 363 days in a year? Instead of 365

[00:02:34] Because they don't have to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day You fucker Did I get that? Right What was the actual punchline? Because they have no Father's Day or Mother's Day Okay Sorry You've ruined it Sorry We're gonna put a no guessing ruling Okay For future jokes I think that's the first time I've ever guessed it right I know Wait that obvious I think it was quite obvious to be fair weren't it? Well yeah There's two more days left That it's missing

[00:03:03] He's missing two things Do I need to Wait I'm gonna find another one now It's too late You can't do it on air It's not Oh sorry that ruined it I should've just kept my mouth shut shouldn't I? Yeah But then it's not genuine You could've fake laughed Yeah but then it's not genuine is it? I don't care Cause if I know it I'm gonna blow it up That's what she said Erm Okay Have you found an easter one? Oh I can't say that one That's fucking horrible

[00:03:33] An easter one Oh an easter one I can't I'll just show it yeah I'm not gonna say it Yeah I will fucking Yeah yeah Go to hell Yeah Not an easter That's not an easter joke Yeah That's not an easter joke Oh you what I've gotta do easter See if you can find an easter joke It's fucking easter This is what the people want This is what the people want And we shall give what the people We could release this Want

[00:04:01] We could release this tonight as well instead So people could listen to it on easter Sunday While eating the Sunday dinner We're an easter egg Yeah Err easter jokes There's gonna be very cheesy ones Easter jokes that will crack you up So you can know these aren't mine You're proper real prepared for this I've been here for like two and a half hours and all I don't get this and all I don't even get this joke What do you call an unconventional easter egg?

[00:04:33] A cracked easter egg Eggcentric The actual word's eccentric Eccentric I think Oh is it? Yeah Is that the pun? But they've called it eccentric Oh is it eccentric? Oh it's eccentric It's not eccentric Oh god I'm so dyslexic I mean I didn't even get it I don't mate Is it eccentric? It's an actual word It just means like you're quite out there With like your clothes choices and stuff I think How many easter eggs can you fit in an empty basket?

[00:05:03] My basket? You can't fill it Going straight in my basket No Only one After that it's not empty anymore Yeah Wait let me just give you one more I've got a shout out Shout out to all the nans and mums out there That still buy the nearly 30 year old children easter eggs No You're the unsung heroes Thank you You are I didn't get one this year You didn't get an easter egg? No but I get it Why? Because obviously I've got a fucking sperm walker I know so

[00:05:34] He gets it all now Yeah I ain't got one of them So I got I think I've got three easter eggs I think Why does the easter bunny have such a good complexion? Let's get this one I don't know He exfoliates Okay nice Great Yeah lovely You thought I was going sinister then didn't you? Cheeky boy Anyways that's enough of easter fucking jokes

[00:06:04] Anyway while we're on easter Yes How does Why does it move every year? Because the dates I'm not even going to pretend to know this I don't know Because I thought it was This were all part of Religion Jesus Easter doesn't move every year It's still always on a Sunday Yeah but it's on a different Sunday every year Like it's on Like this year's it's You know last year in March I think Easter Sunday

[00:06:33] This year it's this Sunday Oh I thought it were like The day Jesus died And then three days That were Easter Easter That were good Friday Why do I call it good Friday? He died And then three days later Easter Sunday He rose again So why do we change it? I don't know I look at you for facts I don't If anyone can figure that out for us Hey Jesus

[00:07:03] Why fucking am That can probably tell us Sorry to people listening I didn't even I didn't even turn Sorry I just got to spit all over my Sorry Yeah I don't know Alright well anyone out there If you can figure it out Drop us a comment On Spotify There's comment section Drop us a comment Go on then what you've been up to Fuck all Easy Cheers guys What's that noise?

[00:07:33] Is that your laptop? Oh my god Sounds like it's about to Fucking blow up I think it's trying to process Or Anyway Oh my god Anyway That sounds like you've just started up a bloody A 1996 Ford It's ridiculous It's old Yeah Went for a walk Thursday Health Health Health and wealth

[00:08:02] At Int Peaks Very nice What are they called? Pedometer man I'm not a pedo A pedometer Pedometer man Pedometer I don't know what that means Like one of them things where you calculate Where you keep track of how many steps you've done So I usually am I usually am that idiot But I don't ever do anything with it Because I never make posts I just do it because I like it Do you have a goal? No So you don't have a goal Like people have like No no no I set out I set out to do what I want to do

[00:08:31] And then I also just go where I want to go Like I'll do the walk that I want to do And then I'll just see what I've done at end of it Yeah yeah but the goal is how many steps you're doing Yeah I'm not striving for a certain amount of steps Like 10,000 a day? No I'm not doing that Oh are you on a bike everyday or just like on a big walk? Everyday? No I don't do that shit everyday No Because your phone can tell you can't you Ah fuck you honestly I don't I think I don't like stuff knowing stuff about me that you don't need to know It's the government The government doesn't need to know my blood pressure

[00:09:00] They know where I'm walking The government doesn't need to know how many footsteps I'm taking in a day Okay so today Right I'll give you a bit of a blend of my week Which day do you think I want the least this week? The least? This week? This week Today? No No? No Thursday Yeah I fucking I went Thursday but I only did 2,896 steps You practically did I practically just fucking sat down the entire day

[00:09:30] Today I've done 8,593 How? Where have you been? Well I took dog fur walk this morning Oh right okay And last Sunday Last Sunday Is this just competition to see how many less steps we could do in a day? Yeah Like three steps I'm the biggest walker I'm the biggest lazy bastard No competition everybody It actually tells you your average Sending screenshots are the least amount of steps you could do in a full day

[00:09:59] Yeah the least that is a good challenge If you can get under 100 steps in a day Talking in a day If you can get under 100 steps in a day TC's though, if you're in hospital you don't count Yeah that's fair Because if you're like laid up Yeah So that includes gun at toilet and gun at kitchen Challenge So if you've got a living room slash kitchen You're sorted Put your chair in the kitchen so you don't have to move You've got worktop space to make a sandwich You do know you can access this or not? Access what? Your data What do you mean?

[00:10:30] On your phone What data? Your steps Your steps data Yeah it's not set up What do you mean it's not set up? I've never set it up I don't think you have to I don't think you need You do have to set it up I think it just tracks you anyway No Get it Get it up Telling you now So my average If Keir Starmer's tracking my steps I'm going to be fuming My average steps in 2025 I don't know 5,442 a day What is it on? Health Where's that? Just search it On your apps How do I search?

[00:11:00] Oh my god you're fucking dinosaur Oh app library There we go My phone is like an iPhone 7 What is it? Health? Yeah No it's not on app library You don't have it? Looks like that That's what the app looks like Okay how do I add new widgets? Is it widgets? Widges? I don't know

[00:11:29] It tells me how long I've been on my phone for Fucking hell I don't know Well if you've got screen time You've probably got You've got health there Where is it? Is it on app store? Will it be an app? No it's like it comes with the phone And every time you update it I don't like this I don't like any of it Oh it's too modern I don't like it I don't need it What do I need it for? Well to be fair it does like a lot of good stuff What does it do? Like it can actually If you've got Apple watches Is it Apple health? Is that it there? Yeah that's it You've deleted the app Oh right

[00:11:58] You've actually deleted the app That's why it's got the cloud thing on it Oh Because it's telling you to That you can re-download it So if I download it it'll tell me what I've done It might do Well I've not been on it So I just deleted it Yeah but it might have tracked it secretly If that's tracked me After I've deleted it I'm kicking off What are you going to sue fucking Steve Jobs? I'm going to sue iPhone I'm not getting permission for that Steve Jobs dead also He died like 10 years ago Welcome to health I'm already health

[00:12:27] Your health data is private and secure Okay See that must make you feel better Well I don't trust them Just because they've Just because they've given me a little pop up now I don't mean that I'm going to trust them wholeheartedly Set up health details Ah yeah Wait I've saved Yeah I am six foot Let's keep that there Yeah I have got a nine inch car Carry on I don't think my health app is going to ask for that I can perform 45 minutes at a time God 9096

[00:12:58] God I'm 30 next year I know It's scary man Whoa I don't know where it's got all these health details from Where's it got all I feel like I've set all that up I don't want notifications Fuck off It remembers A health notification I don't want notifications iCloud storage full Oh I hate I hate Apple Do you know where it is? I've got 500,000 photos That I'll never even look at again I'll just take pictures of everything Just delete them then

[00:13:28] I've got that many It'd take me a full day to go through them Can't you just do like select all Yeah but I also like a lot of them Because I feel like I'll use them eventually I took a screenshot of some of it You're like an old dad with a random piece of wood I took a screenshot of some of it And it's like a code or something like that Or just I don't know And I feel like maybe in three years I'll need that I just never delete it Yeah Er Er It hasn't at all It's tracked me today See Oh

[00:13:57] They're well They're on to you That's They know that you've been walking to Russian embassy Has it tracked me today when I've deleted that? They know you've been walking to Russian embassy Fucking bastards How many steps you done then? Er 6,688 What's your lowest? Er I don't know How does it do that? If you scroll down it gives you like a bar chart

[00:14:28] Oh Highlights You walked and ran less yesterday than you did the day before Friday I did 4.8km Er Thursday I did 10.6 Er What else? I don't know The less The less Er I did less Friday Er Average Is 7,595 Wow For a month An average is 7,733

[00:14:58] What about the year? 2025? For 6 months It's 6,784 And daily average for a year Is 6,664 That's not good Don't you need to get like the 10,000? You're supposed to be doing 10,000 a day It sounds a fuck off I don't know who decided this I know 10,000 steps in a day? What about for people that work in a fucking office or somewhere? What are you supposed to do? Supposed to when you're not working Go out walking Yeah but you do

[00:15:29] Yeah but you gotta achieve that Just because you don't do 10,000 steps a day I don't mean you're not healthy I could go to the gym Do a workout and do cardio And then come home and still do 6,000 steps It doesn't mean if you don't do 10,000 steps You're gonna drop dead No one I don't think puts that as a diagnosis When you die and go Oh fucking hell You know what caused that heart attack If we're only doing an average of 5,000 steps a week Right You don't need to get upset about it I'm pissed It's not that deep I'm pissed off

[00:16:00] What are my health trends? What's this? Are we just gonna spend the entire episode now? You average 8 sets of stairs per day over the last 26 weeks 8 flights of stairs Fucking hell It's like you've just discovered fire I can't believe I can't believe this has been tracking me for a full year I've deleted it I've deleted it years ago I'm gonna put a complaint into Apple Deleted it What more do I need to do? Smash me phone? They might say

[00:16:29] Well, we'll take us to court then And then you're fucked I'll take them Yeah I'll email Sun I'll get Sun money And they'll just fund me through it all I don't think legal aid could quite a lot of advice for this pal I'll get a GoFundMe set up For all the people that hate You need about 10 million quid I don't Second to court I could represent Miss Anne if I wanted to Oh yeah And you're gonna get up at one of them against one of their lawyers Yeah, I will do I'll just say now then Why is this doing this? Yeah

[00:16:59] When he's gonna go Did you know you accepted this when you bought the phone? I'd be like no I didn't Back in 1970 or whatever you didn't buy it No I didn't You make these stupid terms and agreements about 360 pages So nobody ever reads them You expect me to read all that? I learned to read last year Yeah let's know how that goes Do you know what I'm thinking about more and more I think it's called It's just like a plug here Light phone Have you ever seen it?

[00:17:29] It's called light phone Lyca phone? No, light as in L-I-G-H-T Light phone Not L-I-T-E Oh maybe it is that Maybe it is that I don't know I can't remember I'll just have a quick instant Just to make sure that's right Because I might be giving my wrong plug I haven't got one yet I'm thinking about getting one But it's a phone What are they? It's a smartphone You just can't access the internet

[00:17:58] So it's like a Nokia? I don't know Like the old Nokia brick No, because you've got a camera You've got Apple Maps You've got Spotify You've got all that Well it's not Apple Maps obviously So it's like something you'd give a kid To make them feel like they've got a phone Yes And you want that? Yeah Why? Because then I just can't get distracted By memes and videos Instagram, apps, games Constantly All fucking times Like zap, zap, zap We need your attention now Can't be arsed with it Well it works

[00:18:27] It is, I am right You've just made me feel self-conscious for nothing It is the light phone L-I-G-H-T The light phone There look It's just a little brick Oh that's a long video I just want to picture it Just show me a picture Just show me a picture Just show me a picture That'll do That, look It's like a little phone Right So for everybody to see It's like the same It's like Three quarters size of an iPhone It's the same thing You've got your phone alarm You've got maps songs Camera

[00:18:57] That looks boring as shit Well It looks good I think that looks great That's fucking dreadful I think it looks great I feel like I'll get so much time back Doing what? I don't know All you'll do is find some other distraction To not go on your phone Why don't you fuck off? I'm like one of them people on a way They like just battle them with logic Argument and logic comebacks

[00:19:25] Well it's not, it's just What, so if you don't spend it What, how much typically a day? An hour? I don't even want to tell you my screen time on my phone An hour a day looking at vids? No, no it's embarrassing Is it? Yeah Yeah It's not always real So the way screen time works It's the time that you're on your phone So it's not necessarily all just on Like on Instagram or stuff like that Yeah, but it breaks it down though, doesn't it? I don't know Yes it does

[00:19:53] It doesn't Oh god, do you want to have a look? Should we just out myself on? You're gonna be shamed I'm gonna, I'm gonna shave myself Screen time, let's have a look We'll do it live on podcasts Oh my god I don't even know if I dare say it I'm gonna have to do I'm gonna have to do another purge on my phone I've gotta delete everything on my phone again I go through like months where I just like to delete stuff

[00:20:20] Cause I just, I've got a very addictive personality I'm just addicted to everything all the time So what, what war it then? So my daily average Yeah Err, I don't know when this is for This is for this week Yeah Err What? Is it longer than 4 hours? My daily average is 5 hours and 36 minutes for this week Fucking hell Yeah it's bad isn't it?

[00:20:50] Does it, and look, right Oh it does break it down Right, okay Bad Go on the breakdown What? So what is it? I've just got on mine So it tells you your breakdown Oh I've got the breakdown for today For today, every week for today? Yeah What's your breakdown? Oh no, mine's not Mine's daily average I've got week Mine's the week So in a week I've spent 5 hours On TikTok In a week

[00:21:20] Err, my daily average for week Yeah Err, for my daily average for week Is 5 hours and 36 minutes Err And I have Watch your Insta one I've spent 9 hours and 47 minutes on Instagram Fucking hell 9 hours and 47 minutes on Instagram this week I've spent 1 hour My algorithm has got me locked in Well done My algorithm's got me bent over

[00:21:50] You're fucking You're good Err, oh my god An hour and 44 I've been on Instagram In a week Err, have you got any Do you play any games on your phone? Daily average is 17 minutes Do you play any games on your phone? Do I play any games? Yeah No, I don't even think I've got any Err, so I've got Pokemon Go Alright, okay I don't like Pokemon Go I like playing Pokemon Yeah Err, for my daily average for Pokemon Go for week Do you wanna guess? Go on Err, guess

[00:22:19] The daily average for a week On Pokemon Go Err, yes I don't know if that's daily average or just how long I've spent on it Three hour Err, three and a half hour Eight hours and 34 minutes And you've not caught them all? No, no, no I haven't I haven't caught them all, no I've got some really cool ones Fucking hell, you've spent more time on it than I've gotcha I've got some cool ones Oh, there you have, yeah Yeah, look, this is fair Err, three hours and 29 minutes on maps So Hmm

[00:22:50] That's not as bad Three hours on YouTube Yeah That would just, that would just me putting music on while I were working Err, out of interest What's your, what is it on Facebook Messenger? Err, cause you never fucking reply So it got me a lot of time on that This is, this is funny Err, on Facebook Messenger Yeah Guess Well, mine's only six minutes Average a week I've spent on it Mine's, mine's 13 minutes Fucking hell

[00:23:19] Thirteen minutes That's even worse, cause y'all on it longer than me You still don't reply Err, so for this week, Spotify, 15 minutes Err, let's have a look, what else we got I was on ChatGBT this week for a total of 34 minutes Photos, 44 minutes Whatsapp, 51 minutes Twitter, hour and a half

[00:23:49] See, do you know one thing I have noticed with you? Where it probably does increase your screen time tremendously high So you came to, you've come to mind today, haven't you? Mmhmm So I saw you pull up Mmhmm Yeah You must have spent 15 minutes In car Yeah, cause I originally opened my phone On your phone I originally opened my phone to respond to a message And then I got distracted I didn't intend to do it So do you do that every destination you go to? Well yeah, pretty much

[00:24:18] But what I'm saying is, that's me picking up my phone That's me responding to a message And then just, I'm not thinking about it I'm just going like that with my thumb when I'm pressing submit And then I'm in I'm locked in And then I'm like shit, what the fuck am I doing? Like sometimes I'm not aware of it That I'm doing it until I've like fucking I'm a slave You are a slave I'm a dopamine slave You have caved to technology You know when the uprise of robots Yeah

[00:24:49] I'm not, I'm stood at the side I'm the best friend Yeah So you never chalk shit to ChatGPT No, I always say please and thank you Or Alexa Oh Yeah, that bitch ChatGPT is going to save me from Alexa I'm going to make ChatGPT and Alexa have like a boss battle fight Because Alexa is going to want to fucking murder the shit out of me She's a bit of a bitch She does my head in ChatGPT is one of bros I mean, do you think it's because you text it rather than say it? Probably, yeah

[00:25:21] Anyway Yeah, so we've just established that I've got an addiction problem to my phone Thanks for that guys 20 minutes it took us to discover that We broke you down into two in 20 minutes Yeah, I'm going to delete Instagram and Twitter and Pokemon Go because that is, I feel embarrassed, that is ridiculous Yeah I can't believe that, I'm shocked So replace it with walking Weir? Weir What do you mean weir? I can't, weir what?

[00:25:51] What do you mean? Where? Where you going to walk? Right It said my total time on my phone Last week Yeah With 33 hours for a week Right I can't walk for 33 hours Billy No I mean like, obviously you had one day where you spent I don't know what, six hours on fucking Instagram or something? Yeah Right, instead, well when you're at home, instead of going mainly at home Right, I'm not going to watch videos, I'm going to go on a walk or a run because you're like a run

[00:26:19] Try that mentality Sometimes also it's like I'd like to overstimulate myself because I'm also watching TV while I'm on my phone I've just got so much technology I'm like that It stresses Becca out because she'll like walk in and there's fucking TV blaring out videos on my phone and the young'un's on the iPad and she's like There's too many sounds! Alexa's playing music Yeah Try that This is what I'm bad for

[00:26:48] I will watch videos before I fall asleep Yeah, I've started doing See the thing is, what's annoying for me is I know that this is bad for me and I know all the things that I should do It's just that they're not fun It's boring isn't it? I like watching my crazy like videos on Instagram Yeah I've built my algorithm brick by brick Like it's just I've spent 33 hours on that fucking thing Like I've got some very funny videos Would you dare do something?

[00:27:16] Well, I'm going to delete Instagram Like right now? Or live on a podcast? No Nope Go and let me go and look on your explore Next topic It's going to show some weird shit Right It's mainly like accidents Death Yeah, or like animals eating other animals and stuff like that Why? I don't know, it's weird How could you watch that? Because it's interesting What? Wait, what type of animal?

[00:27:45] Have you ever seen an anaconda swallow a fucking crocodile hole? No, I haven't See it all the time Usually, usually they split open from inside because it's too much for a big meal So like it kills the anaconda and the crocodile's dead It's usually fine like an anaconda dead with like a crocodile hanging out of it Because it's trying to eat too much for a big meal My See if there were anything, I have seen an odd one I've seen animals Sorry, Karen I've seen an odd one with like dogs and that It just has to go I have to swipe straight up

[00:28:14] I've seen alligators kill dogs I've seen alligators kill people I've seen crocodiles kill people Not an alligator Crocodiles kill people How does Instagram allow this? I don't know, it's on there It's not like you're on a fucking dark web version of it I'm not, no You promise? It's just regular Instagram It's just like here, we think you would like this It's just like a crocodile swimming with like a bloke in the middle of the outside See, mine's predominantly full of football Oh is it? Football clips Yeah, no, mine's full of that Gaming videos That's Ring Doorbell Who's at my fucking day?

[00:28:44] Do you know what? I spent 20 minutes on Ring Doorbell this week Anyway, can I tell you what I've done? Yeah, sorry, oh my god We went on a bit of a tangent there, didn't we? Right, it's been my birthday Yeah, how old are you? 29 Oh It's been Youngin's birthday Yes Yeah, I remember him Yeah Erm

[00:29:14] And I go on holiday tonight Yep Woo, woohoo Three days Jammy bastard Yeah, that's it Erm, I'm just gonna say this now Just cause it's just popped in my head Do I have to leave a break for ads? Yes When are we doing that? Now, cause you've just reminded me Because I just thought We've not done so much We're still getting used to this We're not used to this shit No Er, right, well we'll see you in a minute Enjoy your ads?

[00:29:44] Er, yes Right, welcome back Yeah, so We hope you enjoyed those ads So, my birthday I er, I went to Gulliver's Kingdom Nice Went on some rides Is that, er, that's... It wasn't for me, like, obviously It's just off M1, innit? Yeah, Rava Valley Yeah, that's it Well, cause it's my son's birthday The day after Yeah And they'll... You no longer get a birthday No, the unlucky bastard Had to go to school

[00:30:13] On his birthday Er, so We'd celebrated it on my birthday And I went on some rides And screaming kids Yeah Paid fucking 20 quid for a burger Yeah It's extortionate prices at food Things in those places, aren't they? I think, yeah, they'll pop a Roger in They sometimes give you a cheap ticket But then when you're in there It's like Like you say, it's 20 quid for a burger Yeah Or, like, I know at Alton Towers They offer you that refillable drink thing But it's like bloody 20 quid And the thing is I'm not organised enough To be able to, like, prepare The day before To, like...

[00:30:42] Bring a pack lunch Bring a pack lunch Cause you can do that Yeah Whenever we go to Alton Towers We always bring pack lunch Yeah Cause there's no way I'm paying 15 quid for a knock dog I just can't do it Yeah, so... Yeah, it's alright Then go holiday tonight Yes Get a tan Beer and a tan Get a tan ready for awards night Do you know what I mean? Yeah I wanna get fucking veneers and all Yeah While I'm at it Easy Are you? Easy Right Well, it might not be a tan But it'll be red Right, okay That'll turn to tan

[00:31:12] Very nice So... Yay Go me Very nice Sorry, I'm just looking at what time it is Cause I said to our lass I said, what do you want for tea? Cause she finishes work at 6 I said to her, what do you want for tea? And it's 6 o'clock So I was supposed to... She's gonna get home before me, I think Somebody's in trouble Well, if somebody not took bloody 2 and a half hours to set bloody podcasts up Hey, it's an old laptop Actually, no, let's revert back There was a bit of delay, wasn't there?

[00:31:42] Because my... Only an hour? You took an hour sorted this out? Because I got my lad for his birthday Nintendo Switch Yeah And it had some kiddified games on it Like... Well, that's a bit rude Ben 10 Yeah Power trip Look... And somebody had to have a go Yeah, well... When I was his age, I used to watch Ben 10 So... I wanted to play it I wanted to have a go He was like... I'll show you mate, I'll show you Don't you worry about it He even had to say to him Can I have a go now?

[00:32:12] Yeah, oh yeah, sorry mate Can I have a go on my Nintendo Switch? Yeah, I just... I like Ben 10 It was a great blast from the past Because I've... That's the first time I've thought about Ben 10 In about bloody... I don't know 15 years About 10 years Yeah Well, it's been longer than 10 years, innit? Yeah Because I'm 29 in July I won't play Ben 10 at 18 Don't you find it weird? Like, obviously he's... Like, his generation now is like technology It's all technology Like, me as a... I can remember flip phones and Sonny Ericsson's

[00:32:41] And stuff like that Yeah, like... And can you remember like... What they're called? It weren't like Walkmans back in the 80s But like, er... The little MP3 players Yeah, they'll add a USB in it Yeah And you could... But... Like, he's six Like, what would you get now? What would you have got as a six year old? I don't remember being 12 No mind's six I don't remember being 15 I think, you know It'd been like football or something Or... Well, it depends what they're into Kids are all different, aren't they? Some really like doing physical activities

[00:33:11] Yeah Some like gaming I used to... I used to really be big into gaming I used to love playing... They weren't even that, Jack I would... The PlayStation 1 were Were it? When we were six? I'm sure it were Right Well, we're both the same age practically When did PlayStation 1 come out? When did... Well, I was born in 1996 So, it was 2002 Yeah That I was six Yeah, right, okay Came out in 1994

[00:33:40] Two years before we were born I knew it did Fuck, you know Used to play Laura Croft Tomb Raider Have you seen all the videos of that? It used to be one of my favourite games That on PS1 Wait, let me get it out Me and my dad and my mum used to play it So, there's a few videos of that The guy's laid on the bed And he goes She says Is this okay for you? To fulfil his fantasy And she comes out in like The full Tomb Raider outfit Like, back from I already know what you're gonna say

[00:34:09] I already know what you're gonna say I already know what you're gonna say No, no I already know what you're gonna say You need to do the PS1 version The graphics And she comes out and fucks in cardboard box on tits Triangle boobs Yeah, she's like Yeah, come here Triangle boobs It's funny Did you fancy her? Oh well, Billy, I was six So, I just enjoyed playing games Another game that we used to play My mum, my dad and me We used to play PGA Tours Golf Oh yeah

[00:34:38] I think that were on PS3 maybe Or PS2 I can't remember You never do Tony Hark's? Skatebox Oh yeah, I used to play that myself Yeah That was good Crash Bandicoot Oh Did you ever play This is like about 15, 16 for us Did you ever play RuneScape? Yeah Yeah I'm fucking proud of it Have you not seen there's a new RuneScape game out? Is there? RuneScape something I'll find it out It's like, it's somewhat wild It's brand new RuneScape I remember

[00:35:07] It's proper RuneScape but with new graphics People flogging some of their accounts for like hundreds Let me show you You can only get it on PC Yeah But like regular RuneScape But I think they're bringing it to consoles in 2026 Are they really? Yeah, I think so Let me have a look And it does look good Oh, it's Dragon Wilds RuneScape On the changing name Oh, well it's RuneScape and then like brackets Dragon Wild Oh yeah

[00:35:35] So it's like a segment of it or whatever you want to call it Let's get some images up, look So you can also like build stuff So it's like Like Minecraft You can build houses and stuff I'm trying to show you like a good video You could do that anyway, couldn't you? Yeah, I think so But that's like the actual graphics there look Oh yeah, that looks cool But the game looks good I think I want it It's just I can't I can't play video games on laptop, mate

[00:36:04] I just can't do it Just get a controller with it Yeah, that's like actual gameplay Hmm It does look good Just get a controller Why is that a thing? Yeah Why can you do that? You just plug a controller into a laptop And that's it, off you go Oh, I didn't know you could do that Yeah Alright Yeah, it does look really good I think it's like 25 quid on Steam I think like that Oh right, yeah But it does look very good I used to do it with World of Warcraft I couldn't do it on a fucking keypad

[00:36:34] I've always tried to get into World of Warcraft But I never got into it Yeah It's alright, yeah I feel like I want to get into Dungeons and Dragons maybe What, as in playing the game? Yeah Have you seen the film? Yeah What do you think to it? I thought the film were alright Yeah, well, alright Have you ever played it? Dungeons and Dragons? No, and I've got no idea how to play it either No, I've never played it And it's like a group game either I don't think I can play it on my own Yeah, I think it's like 4-6 players in it Yeah, I can't play it on my own Cause you have to have one grandmaster, don't you? Who like, has done the storyline for it

[00:37:03] Yeah, that's the dungeon master Yeah, yeah And I've only ever really seen it off like Big Bang Theory I'll be able to play it Alright, okay Yeah, should we do it? Games now Would you be up for doing it? I'd do it, yeah I'm trying to convince others to do it I've got an inner nerd in me, I'd do it Like his other idiot friend Can you imagine him playing Dungeons and Dragons? Oh, fuck, you know He'd be dead in the first fucking round So the way First roll at the ice, he'd be dead I think the way that it works is that the dungeon master sets up like a story or whatever Yeah

[00:37:32] But you've like followed certain guidelines, I think And then you get to pick your own character and design your own character and give yourself your own attributes It's like a game Like when you design your own character in an RPG Yeah, so the grandmaster will go Right, you've walked up to a gate, what do you do? Yeah, so And you'll go, how do you open the gate? Yeah And you have to roll dice to see if it works Well, yeah, he'll say you need to roll like a 12 or something like top and gate Yeah But like, you can go about it loads of different ways So like, so you could say, does the gate look weird? And then that's like a perception

[00:38:00] So you'd have to, so you'd have to like roll a 15 to get a perception look at the gate And then like, you roll a 15, you realise that there seems to be a wire coming from front at gate What do you do? Yeah, cut the wire So you want to cut the wire? Yeah Right, so you need a 15 for that, roll a 15, you cut the wire It explodes and knocks you back and you're missing a leg, what do you do? Er, turn and kick my leg Turn and kick your leg, so you need a healer potion

[00:38:30] Yeah You need a 15 for that Yeah I keep saying 15, I don't know why, because I don't know what numbers mean what I mean, don't do it that, it does like higher than 15, don't it? Yeah You get a 15, so you heal your leg Yeah Now what are you doing? Go back and go through the door Now you're going through the door Yeah You're just missing a leg I think that's how it works Well no, the healing potion's just groomed me a leg on it No, I think that just stops you from bleeding out Well, you tell me How good are a healer are you? If you're only a level 1 healer, it just stops you from bleeding out

[00:38:58] But can you, is that already pre-decided for you? Well, I think you can build up your scores and stuff like that I think that's how it works I think I'm not entirely sure People who play Dungeons & Dragons, let us know Yeah Do a live game Yeah That'd be funny Er I saw a funny skit of that earlier Like a key and peel That skit Have you seen them? No You will have seen them And they were playing Dungeons & Dragons And it was set And he brought his friend in And he

[00:39:26] He was just dressed very funny Like a modern rapper Something like that And he was like So he said You approach this tavern What do you do? And he goes Look for all the bad bitches He just constantly like that Spot the baddies Yeah, it's really funny Yeah Nice Do you want to do it with a segment? Yes Because Our lass will be ringing me in a minute I better put my phone on airplane mode

[00:39:54] So she don't ring me while we're on this She's ringing me right now Is she? Yeah Wow Err Err Err Well she's not It's right there Not weird Just one sec Err Hello Sorry Have you seen him just answered the phone? Just two minutes We'll just do it still do it podcast I'll ring you when we're finished Sorry We had technical difficulties Billy's laptop won't work So I'll let you know Sorry

[00:40:24] Bye Love you bye Oh shit As always we stay professional on this err Anyway On this podcast Anyway We're doing the segment Okay And we're gonna do it quick Because I'm about to get her bollocking Why couldn't we hear her voice? No she's not gonna get me bollocking Because I didn't put it on speaker Oh Obviously she could just hear me Right, you ready? Yep Segment time Segment time It is segment time Yeah

[00:40:54] Pub quiz Pub quiz General knowledge We're doing a pub quiz We've got ten questions each Yeah That I've looked at Yep You've got ten questions, haven't you? I have got ten questions Yeah Have you got Where have you got your questions from? ChatGPT Alright Errm Who wants to go first? Ready? Alright 3, 2, 1, go! Damn it I'll go first

[00:41:24] So What is the only food that never spoils? What? What? What is the only food that never spoils? So it can never go bad Spam What? Why spam? I don't know, no fucking survival Yeah but it lasts a long time It might last like fucking 3 or 4 years Twinkies! No Billy! No Water It's a trick question Well that's not a food is it?

[00:41:54] Well it's got to be something tin, doesn't it? What never spoils? Errm... Meat Meat spoils Billy Oh yeah it spoils quite easy Yes Yes If you've not got a refrigerator You've got like bloody 24 hours to eat your meat I don't know Honey Why? Because bees make it? I don't think it's because bees make it It just never spoils When it's been made Once it's been made What?

[00:42:24] Well obviously it's not going to spoil is it? Well you mean once it's been made If I've got a fucking Honey tree Err Honey tree? Whatever they're called A honey thing You mean a bee eye? And I've just constantly got bees making honey It's never going to go off Because it's always been renewed Do you mean once it's already been put in the jar? It never goes off It would Yeah but when? At what stage? Any stage For the minute they make it That's it It just stays forever Yep Right okay So we need to pack loads of honey ready for apocalypse Yep You need jars of honey

[00:42:55] How many time zones are there in Russia? Three No Two No Yeah Four No Five No Fuck off Time zones Double figures There's double figure time zones in Russia? Yep Twelve Nope Eleven Yeah There's eleven time zones Eleven time zones

[00:43:25] You're joking Fucking imagine that That's ridiculous How do you communicate with somebody who lives on the other side of the country? I don't know Letters Bonkers Err In what year did the first iPhone release? First iPhone First iPhone Erm You should be able to deduce this I remember this Yeah Two thousand and eight Fucking hell you're close Nine No Seven Yes You were very close then

[00:43:55] Oh I think Oh I think It went flashback to school then Remember when all rich kids were walking in with looking new phones Hmm What's the national flower of Japan? Err Is it a cherry blossom? Yeah it is Is it? How the fuck did you know that? You've been watching out ninja movies anyway Err

[00:44:22] What is the name of the world's largest desert? Sahara I'm gonna give you a hand with this one because it is a trick question Sahara No You just said the same answer Err no It's not like desert no No Well er What give me a hell What with a hell What a hell? Hell Give me a hell Hell Call for hell Twice What? It's from a friend Err It begins with an A

[00:44:52] Abidjan desert? I don't know No Australian desert It's a trick question It's a trick question What's the question? What is the name of the world's largest desert? It doesn't have to be warm for it to be a desert Billy What is it? It's supposed to be like fucking Antarctica That's it Is it really? Yeah That's the world's largest desert But it's Oh right So it doesn't need to be sand It doesn't need to be sand for it to be a desert Wow That's cool innit Erm

[00:45:23] Erm Oh no these are all too easy Norwegian artist Dvord Munch Is famous for painting which iconic piece? Norwegian artist? Yeah Edvard Munch Fucking hell Is it that guy with the guy that's screaming on the boat? Ooooooo With a wide mouth What's it called? Err I don't know what it's called but I can get you a picture

[00:45:52] There's a fucking mirror behind me I'm I'm Yeah but I can't see it I can't see it I promise you I genuinely can't see your phone Yeah it is Is it the screaming face thing? Is that it? Yeah Yeah I swear on my life I can't see your phone in that mirror Do you remember Looney Tunes back in action? Err Maybe Where they went inside the paintings And they went inside that one Oh right yeah I just know that painting for some reason It's a weird painting That's the only painting I could think of Because I know other famous paintings And I know it's not YM

[00:46:23] Err What colour is the X in the FedEx logo? Red Wrong Blue Wrong Green Wrong It's not a colour It's orange Is it? Yeah The X in the FedEx logo is orange Is it really? Yeah Sorry I keep getting pop ups Where was the first modern Olympic Games held? Greece Where? In Greece Athens What year?

[00:46:54] You've been a dick now Err Err Err For bonus point 700 BC Oh fucking no What would it be? 700 BC Modern Olympic Games When you mean modern You mean like modern times? Yeah where they weren't like killing people as part of the games Oh! Not okay Err

[00:47:25] You know where it was actually like Yeah yeah yeah yeah 1912 No 1896 Nearly How many questions? I think I've got like 4 questions right Yeah I think I don't know if you've got any wrong yet I have Err Which animal has the largest eyes in the animal kingdom? The largest eyes? Yeah Err I'll help your art it swims A tree frog Did you just hear what I've said? It swims It swims A whale

[00:47:54] Blue whale No Err A shark No Err Octopus Biggest eyes It's got giant in its name Giant squid There you go Yes Who is the third of all time Wait I've said that in the wrong way Who is the third of all time list of female tennis grand slam champions? Serena Williams Yeah

[00:48:24] I'm on fire! I know I'm on fire! Get me in booze now aren't quiz? I'm impressed I'm never this smart I know I'm not I need to make it harder Wait Wait you can't make it harder that's not fair I've done it You arse Err You should get this one What's the national animal of Scotland? Err Cow Scottish cow You got it wrong again Ow What? A sheep?

[00:48:54] No what's the national animal of Scotland? Symbol Whatever you wanna call it Dragon No that's whales A boat? A cow? No I've said a cow A I don't know It's mythical A unicorn? Yes Is it really? Yes Right Err

[00:49:23] Which space telescope was launched by NASA in 1990? Oh It's errr Space telescope Ah I know this and all it's gonna annoy me Err To be fair these are quite fucking easy you know It's gonna take me too long to get that What is it? Wait I've lost it Hubble

[00:49:53] That's it Hubble telescope Yeah Painting the arse Err I'll throw you a soft bulb In what film would you hear the line Here's Johnny The shiny Yes See more like that I'm alright with Err You're a Star Wars fan? Not really Okay

[00:50:22] I'll not do that one You can do it it's fine I've got loads of I feel like only hardcore people I've got loads of questions right so it's fine Who does Han Solo shoot and kill at Mos Islay Cantina? No the cantina scene It's the green guy errr It's like an alien What's his name though? Pfff No I can't just say a green guy A green alien They're all fucking aliens I don't know Err I don't know his name

[00:50:51] Alas he'll be shouting at me later after getting that wrong Greedo That's it yeah Alas he's a big Star Wars nerd Err What planet in our solar system could float in water due to its low density? Neptune No Right well I've got 11 guesses really aren't I? No 10 cause fucking Pluto's not one Err Jupiter No Mars No Uranus No Saturn Yes

[00:51:22] What year was TikTok launched? Ooh 2019 No 2020 No It was high at pandemic weren't it? No it was before that It was before 2015 No 2017 Yeah Clever aren't they really? Chinese company Chinese company? Is that like TikTok? And then they met pandemic? And then there was a virus What kept us all indoors? Watching videos all day Hmm

[00:51:51] People still dispute that it came from that Wuhan lab you know I think they've pretty much disclaimed that it came from the lab I think So it didn't come from a bat? No Eating bats In that Wuhan market That's complete bullshit Well that was a theory going around weren't it? Yeah We don't know if that's true by the way Yeah This is not a factual podcast Err What is the main ingredient in traditional Japanese miso soup? Oh they don't eat dog then do they?

[00:52:22] In Japan Noodles No I don't know Mints No Beef Have you ever I'm just going to take this season Have you ever had miso soup? No Right okay It's fermented soybean paste In fact I've never got that in a million years I've got one left Err I've got loads But we'll just finish on one

[00:52:55] Ooh This'll be err For you Trader In electrical work Typically Which wire Is the Hot Wire You mean live? No Hot Wire So it's a term that electricians use Well that's gotta mean live Err well it depends because the colour changes from like I've worked in old houses I've worked in new houses So does it mean new or old? I don't know

[00:53:25] I just got one answer Right It doesn't say no answer or old answer Right so I'm going to give you two answers Depending on which one Okay If it's an old house Yeah It's red If it's a new house it's brown Yeah it's neither other What? It's black Black? Yeah It's black That's bullshit It's the hot wire That's bullshit Does hot wire mean live? I don't know That means something else

[00:53:54] What does hot wire mean? Okay maybe I'm wrong But I thought it would Because your brown's your live Your blue's your neutral And your green and yellow is your earth Hot new ones And then your old ones It was black was your neutral Yeah And your old ones your black was your neutral Your red was your live And same again It means neutral The hot wire Alright okay

[00:54:23] Which letter is worth the most points in Scrabble? Zed X You're giving me two answers there X No Y No E No Zed No I've said Zed B No A No I'm just gonna go through them all A No B No C No D No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No예

[00:54:54] Q Yes Yes Well You're eight smart you Don't you have to sing it Like when you get to a certain point I can only do it by singing it Yeah My last fö dat You do it backwards Yeah Not Who played Agent Scully in the 90's tv series X files

[00:55:22] what was his name I know who it is because I've watched X-Files Agent Scully I know the woman because she's in all new things what's her name oh god I'm crap with fucking names I remember faces not names I never forget her face her face she's Gillian Anderson she's Gillian Anderson I'm just trying to remember his name yeah but it's Agent Scully Dana Scully

[00:55:52] is that the woman? yeah oh it's Gillian Anderson yeah I thought you meant the bloke why they're both called Scully no I just can't oh no I got it wrong yeah sorry sorry yeah that's it I'd say it's fair to say you probably won that one am I a genius? you're fucking X-Files Quiznight yeah am I a genius? is you saying? yeah right guys anyway I might sound thick but there's some information in there since you shaved your head it's all completely useless I don't know whenever I'm going to use that again since you built airway system in head yeah

[00:56:21] heating system but it's an aircon we're going yeah anyway yeah bye guys bye guys see you later bye

[00:57:07] bye what else we've got visit podomity.com