S2 E18 - Reason why to be late

[00:00:00] Shall we do a podcast? What will we even call it?

[00:00:06] Manmap!

[00:00:07] Ah, go on then.

[00:00:08] Welcome back to another episode of Manmap with Bill and Jack. Nobody fucking cares about

[00:00:25] that. Yeah, we do love you but just do love you would rather you be around for like a long time rather than just if you die You can't listen exactly it being quite selfish you fucking fat fuck. That's a lot That's a lot of pizza 350 slices every second That's mad But there must be a lot of pizza places to get well that's from the National American Association of Pizza operators

[00:02:45] the same. But I'm ordering it so I'm I'm ordering a 10 inch pizza. Yes, you're ordering a 10 inch pizza the size is the same it's same slices 350 slices per

[00:02:52] second not 350 pizzas 350 slices so when you eat a slice it's that triangle

[00:02:59] bit in it so it doesn't define whether they're all the same sizes or not like

[00:03:03] it's not an actual experiment do you looking at these pizza things going fucking else I'm gonna leave out but that's clever that eventually got found out so he reported it and then they heard back they'd obviously seen it and he got

[00:04:23] no more pizza orders from I've got a lot of silence here, Jack.

[00:05:44] Yeah, I know.

[00:05:45] I'm coming.

[00:05:46] I'm coming. and then a traditional British tick away. Fish and chips. Fish and chips. There we go. Anybody who listens to this who's got a fish and chip shop restaurant, keep like quite a lot near Downing Street, let us know when sales go through roof and then we know when big things are gonna happen. The thing is though, what I'll never get, do you like fish and chip shops? Yeah. Especially so like us, for example,

[00:07:02] like we've got fish and chip shops here.

[00:07:03] Yeah.

[00:07:04] We know where near sea.

[00:07:06] If it's something like, yeah, I can't finish it. Maybe psychological. I just find that mad. Yeah. Maybe it's because you think you're doing all that extra chewing. So like, you take in theory, you're still doing the same amount of chewing. Yeah. But because it's like, you've got it in different things, like it just makes you more aware of how much you're eating.

[00:08:23] Do you experience that? I mean, I prettyinks like that. Yeah. So if you put a full potato in, that's going to shrink a little bit, isn't it? Whereas if you put loads of different segments of potato in,

[00:09:42] they're all going to shrink individually.

[00:09:44] So the shrinking from those is going to shrink more than what it would do when it's whole,

[00:09:47] would it not?

[00:09:48] I can't get all. Well that does not just depend on our hungry or? No. No, it's, no, no it does not. It's irrelevant. You don't put a hunger into it. What I'm saying is you can never get a perfect amount of pasta. You either eat too less in store and you don't eat too much.

[00:11:00] Well we'll try later because we're going out for food.

[00:11:02] So you can go back, you're going to an Italian restaurant

[00:11:05] and you can go, you can go in kitchen, you say now then.

[00:11:07] Are you gonna outside the airport?

[00:12:20] I've been in the airport.

[00:12:20] Have you been outside the airport?

[00:12:23] No.

[00:12:24] Right.

[00:12:26] It was a connecting flight. names from Roombillie. Did you not ask for it? What did I specifically to meet Mario? No, I did not. I asked the names. I did, yeah, but Billy, that, that was like what? That were the two or three years ago. Well, I remember everything that I did with my partner and all the things that we did. No, I know. Yeah. I know the places that we went. Yeah. Yeah. Do I remember the people's names,

[00:13:42] like the waiters and stuff that served me? No fucking chance. But I feel like you would if That'd have been a funnier. He wanted to make a clean getaway. Oh, okay, nice. Mm-hmm. Not my best. Bit cheese. Speaking of rape, Epstein's list... Yes! What the fuck were that mad bastard doing on there? Oh, harking. See, this is what gets me. Everybody is going on harking, like specifically.

[00:15:03] They've done it on purpose.

[00:15:04] Like, the amount of damage that that man could inflict is probably very minimal.

[00:15:08] He can't move himself. somebody was like able body can do a lot more damage to somebody than somebody will come yeah no no you get what i mean yeah but if they put a gun to that fucking person's head and says get on top of him and fucking ride him siller yeah they're still doing it either yeah yeah i get what you mean it's still awful it's still awful and do you know what his last words well steven arkett go on So there were David Copperfield. Oh, Zina. Indeed that magician. He was thinking about David Bloane. No, actually. Bill Clinton. Yeah, he's a fucking weirdo. Yeah, he seems like that, haven't he? So we've got Prince Andrew, obvious.

[00:17:40] Bill Clinton.

[00:17:41] Donald Trump, but he's apparently Donald Trump never went.

[00:17:45] Well, he saw, no, he did go millionaires, like you fucking rich wealthy powerful people. Oh fucking Kevin's bae sir. It's all your like fucking George Lucas. It's all your elite. Oh don't leave that Naomi Campbell. Did he not write an entire story on incest? Who? George Lucas.

[00:19:01] What would Starva?

[00:19:03] Yeah, is that not entire Star?

[00:19:05] Is that not entire where it's from?

[00:19:07] There's one seat. I think you do. I'm not down for that vibe. Why? I'm down for somebody like, I don't know, and I am a Campbell touchy bit. It's very misconstrued to the net. How are you can, how it works for one but the other? Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? Yeah. Like if, now I'm a Campbell comes onto you. But I know myself at 14, I know exactly what I were like.

[00:20:21] I would have read you horny little teenager.

[00:20:23] Yeah, fucking, you'd go in at first.

[00:20:25] It's fucking exactly.

[00:20:27] It's weird, isn't it, it's not. No, it's not. They were running like a kid's session for bouldering. And you know what? It's rape funny watching kids climb. They've got no fear whatsoever. They're just not bothered. It's obsessed against it. It's not bothered. Like fucking, do you know what as well?

[00:21:40] Because they're really like freakishly strong,

[00:21:43] like it's weird, like, and the holds,

[00:21:45] because obviously as an adult, as the holds get smaller, of, like you've learned to be scared of it, like you weren't born with it. Yeah, yeah, I didn't come out at a warm thinking, I'm scared of snakes. Well apparently that might be the only one that is that you'd like scared of. Snakes! Well, learning it, yeah. Why? Through like evolution, like your ancestors. That's naturally the scared of snakes.

[00:23:00] Yeah, because like if you think about thousands, not fucking hell, when we were like primates

[00:23:04] and that, we used to live in tree canopy for like however many years, didn't we?

[00:23:08] Sure. Well that's very rude. That's very rude. What have you been up to? Yeah, sir. I took the little into his first football session. Very nice. It's a bit late for the product to him up here. Why? Because he's too old now. How old is he? He's not his fault.

[00:24:20] That's too late. You need to start him at one.

[00:24:22] He can't.

[00:24:23] He wrote 8. He didn't write 8. You know, competitive dad, tag, yeah, he did well. Right. And he enjoyed it and all which work very well. That's the main thing. Very powerful. As long as they enjoy it. That's fine. Yeah. As well. And he had his manual kit on. I think that's the thing. I mean speaking from experience of having no kids. I think it's the more you push somebody to do something, the less they'll want to do it. Do you know what I mean? Like you just let them enjoy it.

[00:25:40] Yeah. I think an almara push him to the support same team as me.

[00:25:43] He's going to support the opposite just to piss me off.

[00:25:45] Yeah. Just like just letting find his own growth. No, we're going out on with which we said earlier. Yeah, and I've got a gourm of what dog. And apparently, let me know, send Billy an email, not me, whether you think this is normal. Right, so we've got a restaurant booking, we've got a restaurant booking, eight, so what,

[00:27:01] 445?

[00:27:02] Yeah.

[00:27:03] Right, so 445. massive difference. 60 pound. If you don't show up, if not all members of your party are there for the time, then you get, oh the card holder will get that charge. Oh booked it. Becca. Okay. Which you will be paying if you turn up later. How? Because I'll fucking

[00:28:20] rob you. Okay. Nice. I'll hold your dog hostage. Fog it. Okay. I don't think you should run a restaurant like a fucking Like a machine But what are we doing? Why are we going? All right, all right explain this to me then they've got a booking right so they you're saying they've got a bucket That means we've only got set them out of time to be there so what about if we want to eat starters? I've till minutes

[00:29:40] Five ten minutes twenty minutes then I've means five twenty minutes start chatting like that I think I'd be the only person in every issue to get life in prison for a speeding circuit. So listen, you're gonna be speeding because you were late. Right. Your first strike can be in late. Yeah. Then you're gonna turn up to the courthouse late. Yeah. That's your second strike. Yeah.

[00:31:00] Being late and then you're gonna get the judge load of bullshit excuses about not being late.

[00:31:02] Yeah.

[00:31:03] That's your third strike and you'll go, very jacked.

[00:31:04] That's fucking 25 years.

[00:31:06] See you later.

[00:31:07] 25 years.

[00:31:08] See you later.

[00:31:09] Hope you're up. Yeah, so that's step one step two you will get a shower when it is time to actually be there Yeah, and then number three is July I Like or some late So I'll take she was it where are you?

[00:32:20] I'm not wearing our part. I know for well you've just got in shower

[00:33:21] of what I like it's fine. Yeah but you're not late to important things.

[00:33:23] Do you know how much effort that takes me?

[00:33:26] Well that just adds the exact same thing to just everything you need to be on time for.

[00:33:31] Yeah but for my brain unless I know there's actual severe consequences I'm not on time.

[00:33:36] I don't know why but that's the way that my brain works.

[00:33:39] Unless I know like...

[00:33:40] But does that not make you think that makes the people feel less important?

[00:33:43] Yeah but that's not how it works in my brain.

[00:33:45] That's not even a compute in my head what's ever. Yeah, you need help. You need professional help. Yeah, I mean, I'm not, I'm not shifting responsibilities 100% my fault. I am like, I know that, like, I don't need to get better at it. But I don't know. What are the best excuses you've

[00:35:02] used?

[00:36:01] What the hell? I don't know, I'm not saying that, then I went across the road and did the exact same.

[00:36:05] I don't know what's happened, somebody stole my fish.

[00:36:08] But what makes you go outside and think, well I need to check the fish?

[00:36:10] No, no, no, no.

[00:36:12] I was coming in from somewhere, over to Beamsom where previously, bare my head at this point

[00:36:16] at the wrong time, and then I went to feed the fish because they needed feeding.

[00:36:20] Oh okay.

[00:36:21] And then I'm like, where the fuck are they?

[00:36:23] And then I've got my hands under old fucking lilypeds and all that lot, I'd shifted them

[00:36:27] out. It was just a funny story. It was an excuse to tell. It wasn't a funny story. It wasn't funny. It were a pigeon. So it's a pigeon. We're driving and then it flew into mid car and then it mid bonnet and then rolled off at top of car. Oh god. Yeah, so I can't really avoid that.

[00:37:40] I don't know.

[00:37:41] Maybe kill a human.

[00:37:42] You've never had a flutter or have you?

[00:37:44] I don't think you've used that one before.

[00:37:46] No.

[00:37:47] I've been locked in me house before.

[00:37:48] Locked in me house. I was dead, I was not, and then you liked shit. After six nands. I'm adopted. I've got six nands. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't think I've used that one. I think I've only, I think I've had to use dog a couple of times. These are genuine though, these aren't actual light. Because I'm not very, I'm not late.

[00:39:01] You are late.

[00:39:02] When am I ever late?

[00:39:04] Throughout my entire time knowing you, I know you've done it and you stop making fake accounts i'm just doing it please uh... we've got big things coming this year happening and we'll be back in a studio at the end of the month i forgot big things happening this year yeah

[00:40:21] okay when i organize them yeah

[00:40:24] uh you're very cutted you know that i'm not Ramble in preachers. I wanna say what they call again. Ramble in preachers. And again? Ramble in preachers. And again? You're two. Ramble in preachers. Yeah, there you go. Where's Milton Keynes? Is that London? London, innit? Is it? London, where? Oh, OK. So, yeah. Give them a... Is there any other shout outs? Mmm, not as far as I can think.

[00:41:42] Is it from your side?

[00:41:44] No, Brent's gone like a fucking sponge.

[00:41:46] No, you love him, normally you're full of him,

[00:41:47] normally you're fucking shouting out, fucking milk man.