Chapter Six: Hester at the Oasis

[00:00:03] Chapter 6 of The Adventures of Brian Hovis, Welcome back, chum And Holy Shit, If things got exciting Currently unconscious on a camel in Africa but a few miles away my aunt Hester is rattling along kicking up dust and small animals in a hot-wired Jeep

[00:00:24] Driving with one foot up on the dashboard a cigarette in the other she has in a car and a world as displayed in a roof-ful smile and choice of Jimmy Hendrix Bandana A destination is no Aixis, housing the gentleman known as The O2ly

[00:00:38] In case you forgotten their backstory is thus They are an old group of coccinate gentleman settlers who have lived their since filming as extras for the moving picture Lawrence of Arabia Coccanies are a special breed in that they are a mostly thieves and b

[00:00:56] very good at settling in places and starting a whole new culture Australia for example and Lanzarotti They were on their way to the catering tent when they strolled off in a sandstorm and disappeared and as they were only extras nobody gave us to about them going missing

[00:01:13] especially the caterers The director, the first assistant director, the actors costume make up crew and editor Nobody noticed When Hester got to the Oasis however Oh and the graphic designer producer Carpenter's grips Best boy Gaffer in the whole art department F*** Al extras Get a proper job

[00:01:38] When Hester got there however The Oasis was eerily quiet Oye, Cracky's Thaddy King speech Peter O'Tool She is speaking in the language they have developed in their years and the desert I will act as your translator Oye, Cracky's Thaddy King speech Peter O'Tool Hello

[00:01:57] I seek the leader of the O2ly Faster Cox Pie and Mesh, proper Blimey Ding-Dang fellers Who I'm told has excellent pectoral muscles chimney wath the fuck? What all is she says? For turning a corner had revealed an entire gaggle of very old men standing looking very angry

[00:02:14] and standing in front of them the lady you and I know as none other than the mapractor Lady for sightington Hello Hester Lady pithing Perry Winkle For sights the sense the divorce Both f*** it that with attacks swindle

[00:02:28] And that was the sound of Aunt Hester being struck on the back of their head by a pensioner in a loincloth What is going on? What is going on? Isn't a leopard pot noodle? Hester is tied above the bubbling pot of herbs and spices

[00:02:43] Standing in front of her Lady forcington style Kikil, you for the earth I think it's too late for that Look the leader wants to say something Cracky back on a Delhi pig, Tasty Bird, Jolly on a day Subtitle Last year the damn donkey robbery almost finished us

[00:02:59] It was a tough time for us all especially Gary Flatty skirty Avano air This one woman, the one who isn't tied up Tricky Dicky Shibegabe and is strangely attractive but suspicious looking with an Impossible name and nice tea Braggard said tiddly wicker Has brought us the donkey thief

[00:03:16] What? The Jibagabba talking about his proper pastey pie Whatever she has told you was a liar Quiet Gah Yostas Where are you? Are you referring to your mute toy boy? Would he perhaps be with your nephew When a wild goose chase with a fals man?

[00:03:31] Why do you fampus or Brian? Oh, bamboozling him is easy Brian's got a brainlight plum on Why would you do that? Oh, let's see No Brian no ransom And no Lady Hove is no estate No worries for the secret interested party Ah! What was that for? Shat

[00:03:48] Oh, it's bloody heart and I'm only wearing fact a 30 let's get on with this Hester is squirled upside down By a man thrice her age in one swift 30 to 40 second motion Her face is getting closer to the bubbling surface of this horrible soup

[00:04:01] She can smell the addition of cumin and jolipa berries A delightful combination she uses for a moment But only for a moment Her mascara melts in her steam Her hair begins to frassel And in her mind she names the soup Shet Creek Chowder Then something remarkable happens

[00:04:22] From her neck on its silver chain For the huge red gemstone Which dangles a millimeter from the floating carrot This, as you may remember, is the necklace she used earlier When hypnotizing custers into being a pilot It's a appearance caused it quite a stir

[00:04:37] On seeing the jewel everyone slowly jute an age hit the deck in worship What are they doing? Steadosargey Lady I'll cook it, I'm sorry sorry darling Ah, yeah, she's at that okay Hey where you going? He is walking into his house Coming out again now

[00:04:56] Carrying a huge painting of an old man Holding some raw meat surrounded by his happier younger gangmates Dr. Oh sweet cheesest, that's papy The man in the painting is wearing the very same pendant Dice of our gaser doctor saved us all our obwelless

[00:05:13] Yes he was a chemist or a truck dealer, not sure We are in big-time our lives Our Gary Bay of Shit himself to the death Where you is bad-stricken Oh this old thing This one here, lady think to town spare ribs Eight no way Dr. Dull

[00:05:29] Adada, Dab, Dog, I'm a rig Decided I have? You will be a land at kill fucking internet a fight First Gary will perform for you our apologies song Get in your key, boy guess That's right, off you pop Apology, apology, sorry, you need ill suspect

[00:06:04] When I was just three years old I had my first close bacon And he would be saying And maybe touch the planking crack We've spoofed too long but then we start to worry So we sing this simple song, it's how we say we're sobbing And I just made

[00:06:23] Ron and he lights up, Dog, I bet with a well now football player Said he next time jewelry from a princess in Marbaya Been to see people for Stevie, Stalin Feel play take take on East Town Nick Wack, had a young and gave me stock of the bounce

[00:06:37] But now we're all right sorry When I was just 66 our catchin' my first pair of And in 4-3 first days then It's here we're for camera Making it some monkeys free from a well now love that too

[00:06:55] Don't you have the master mind on the great train robbery too Team was a rainbow and jakey's bib David facty at the limit Pennywork think me calling him a whim And all of us are sorry Well thank you And sorry for daily eating you Lovely Gary, really lovely

[00:07:14] Yes, I wasn't sure how exactly the song would go It turned out quite entertaining But also quite shocking, I had no idea extras was quite so jiplicitous Oh yeah lots of top-steaded radtodic at Phoebe skills up now 90s to at Lady Faktenton It's time to sell

[00:07:32] Laura of God Pete says you fight a death fight to the death Oh god it's on Iris your untie and Iris your sword Thought fight yeah It's like prop from Lawrence of Arabia Never saw the film but we kept the props Do I get a bloody props sword?

[00:07:48] Yeah you can have Gary's Gary Oi, Gary pay attention Give it your sword a facton to two she's finished Thank you Gary An amazing sword fight begins It's incredible I wish you could see it this sword fight is Oh wow

[00:08:05] Give it some stick out of the Oh look Ah Well done Aha Oh genius, two-shame Adam Aha I have taken the lead and have knocked your throat from your hand Heshto's done it Yes you have

[00:08:23] And I'm sorry but I did promise I would kill you and these chaps are hungry Ah What's this? It's my own story and I'm confused I'm a helicopter Lady F jumping onto the roof of a heart in the confusion Confused we'll meet again lady for a side system

[00:08:40] Oh bugger it let's go with Lady Perry doing for shall we? Hello dear wife secret agent my devious Trojan Filly Are you all dashing when you whip out the cop to darling? Looked a little pear shaped down there Yeah I wasn't quite there stablyling I had planned

[00:08:59] Something I hadn't for seam when I get home I need to google some necklaces I think he has to maybe unaware of what she's got Oh, intrigue it And speaking of not knowing what you've got How's my plan to off the neighbors

[00:09:11] Oh Brian melted to death hours ago I'm sure Yeah he Goodbye desert Final resting place of Riley annoying Ryan Hove is