Young Dracula Seasons 1&2 (Part B)

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[00:00:56] Good morning listeners! It is 20 past four in the morning and I have been editing since

[00:01:06] 1pm yesterday. I have just finished editing the first young Dracula episode series one and

[00:01:16] two. If you're listening to me now, you've probably just listened to part A and I have

[00:01:23] a last time to listen to part B. Where we talk about the rest of series one and two.

[00:01:35] I do hope you're enjoying it. I'm having a good time so I am being joined later today

[00:01:45] to film an episode with friend of the pod of my parents aliens episode fame Jasmine Hale.

[00:01:53] We're going to be talking about a very niche one. We're going to be talking about bootleg.

[00:01:59] If you know what bootleg is, get excited for that. We're recording that in the next few

[00:02:05] days. That's just a little exclusive for you. Now let's just get on and finish this. Enjoy!

[00:02:36] We've put this off for long enough. We should talk about the count.

[00:02:40] We should talk about the Dracula's. We finished the Van Helsing so now time to talk about the track.

[00:02:44] Okay, well let's start with the count please! Who's name is actually Vladislav?

[00:02:52] Is it? Yeah they just call him the count. He doesn't have a name, it's just count because Vlad is

[00:02:59] already there. In fact in the first series is a misconception isn't that their surname is count

[00:03:06] so when Vlad goes to school on his locker or something it's called. Vlad is named his son

[00:03:14] a variation upon his name. It'd be like if I named my kid Lauren. Yeah that'll be weird.

[00:03:18] Would it? Some people just name their kids their name. That is true.

[00:03:23] Well some people name their kids the same thing. Shavon. Elizabeth Elizabeth?

[00:03:28] Yeah my my full name is Elspeth but it's a dearly one calls me Elsi because my mum wanted to call

[00:03:36] me Elsi but she didn't realise that you can on official documents just call someone a nickname

[00:03:42] so she was like okay Elspeth which is a derivation of Elizabeth. Which is a derivation of Elizabeth.

[00:03:47] She wanted to call my sister Betty and everyone knows her as Betty but on her

[00:03:52] a birth certificate it's Elizabeth which is a name that my mum doesn't even like. So I'm called

[00:03:58] Elspeth my sister is called Elizabeth because my mum made the same mistake twice and now we have

[00:04:03] the same name. Elizabeth knows. No in the same family. Sisters yes. Did your dad name Arthur?

[00:04:12] So is he named after your granddad? No so my granddad and great granddad are called Arthur but the

[00:04:17] reason they call my brother Arthur is just because they liked the name. They're not sentimental like that.

[00:04:22] It had nothing to do with. Okay but the thing is it is the same name so kind of yes

[00:04:26] well kind of yes but whatever. It's the same name on both sides so no no no my mum hasn't got any

[00:04:33] Arthur's. I thought he said your granddad only oh Brian. Yeah yeah okay so is that one named

[00:04:40] after your granddad? Yes yes Arthur's middle name is full name. Full legal name. I'm named after

[00:04:48] that. They are sentimental like they are sentimental like that because I've done it. Yeah my middle

[00:04:53] name was both my grandmas because that would be an argument. Have I got that? Yeah four names

[00:04:59] over here I only got three. My mum and I truly not sentimental. There would have been a fight if

[00:05:05] there wasn't some kind of honouring and that there's a... I would I would have taken the fight.

[00:05:10] There is already a fight about the order of my middle names. So we need to talk about Keith Lee

[00:05:17] Castles hair. Keith Lee Castle plays. I can't believe his surname's Castle. I know.

[00:05:23] So I'm going to embarrass myself now. This is going to be a really difficult

[00:05:32] edit because I'm sorry I'm just going to be forning over him and it's not going to be easy

[00:05:37] for me to listen back but I have to. It's not easy for us to listen to this so.

[00:05:42] Meg shut your horn out. Don't do that or take a drink. Luckily nothing in my mouth yet

[00:05:51] but do not do that again. So he's got the most incredible hair. I believe his hair in the show

[00:06:00] is his real hair. Well yeah because photos he still has the same hair as today. Yeah he's also

[00:06:09] covered in tattoos now. He might have been then we never see an inch past his neck or wrist.

[00:06:14] That's true. He probably will have been although he has played a vampire in the past. He was in

[00:06:21] a show called Urban Gothic. Well it's a short really isn't it? It's a series of shorts and he

[00:06:28] was in one of them. Yeah so he played a vampire called Rex he's like a sort of so-ho

[00:06:34] model slash prostitute. You want to see my face? Sure yeah. All right move the camera closer.

[00:06:41] No! Scary. We're telling you what right from my next trick I'll just turn into a fucking back.

[00:06:53] What does Rex do I mean for a living? It's not what Rex does really. It's who he does.

[00:07:00] Where's he going then? Isn't everyone? What about the girl? What?

[00:07:07] Who would I have liked to have bitten? Ingrid Pitt no question of it. Really why her?

[00:07:13] Have you seen any of our movies? I mean all the hammer girls touched a certain part of me but she

[00:07:18] she was something else. She was Stella. Oh come on it's not just pretty girl.

[00:07:23] I generally consider myself an equal opportunity as advocate in fact. The pervert in me

[00:07:28] prefers the unwhite mile. Statistically speaking it means there's more chance of me taking out

[00:07:33] potential seal killer. So I'm doing all the fiber. But you go actually now you can have to move

[00:07:39] when she gets here. It's heavily implied that he's a prostitute and he's a vampire and he's letting

[00:07:44] a camera crew- it's one way to get you dinner. It's what right yeah he's letting a camera crew

[00:07:50] follow him around and this was just before young Dracula and it's kind of him- Oh you laughing

[00:07:59] I've seen the clip but I'm just thinking about it. It's really funny. Yeah he's funny. He's

[00:08:05] swanning around Soho with his friends and they're kind of clever clever beautiful young rich people.

[00:08:11] It's quite Nathan Barley-esque. They're all like the friends in Bridget James. They are yeah. Do you

[00:08:17] think Elsi would be a victim of this man? No she wouldn't get swaned on and so so her? Oh yeah

[00:08:24] she would push one guy in there. Would she? Yeah no, go on. I was just you might not know- you

[00:08:31] necessarily don't have to go home with them. Okay. So it's very funny. It's- I'm sorry he's so sexy

[00:08:52] in it. I can't- I mean I don't- I can't- I cannot stop thinking about this short he is so fit in

[00:09:00] it. The question is which flavour goes best with blood? Can you tell us what you're going to do tonight?

[00:09:08] Tonight, Matthew. I'm going to be Ted Bundy probably vanilla. You will not believe my dry cleaning bill.

[00:09:17] The good thing I'll get is the text read by you. How'd you feel now?

[00:09:23] Still hungry. Do you sleep around a lot? Absolutely. I'm a real animal in bed. Can we film that?

[00:09:33] Sorry, Czechs. And look down the camera and say that. Oh yeah. I think I have a vampire thing but-

[00:09:41] No, you've not seen the whole thing. It's- oh my god so when I discovered this- No I wanted to look

[00:09:47] down the camera and say it so I can put it on social media. What shall I say? What am I going to do?

[00:09:52] I'm down bad for this. I'm down bad for Keith Lee Castle in Urban Gothic. I think it was 2002.

[00:10:01] I'm not sure though. So there's a scene in it where it's the most

[00:10:10] graphic and gruesome vampire feeding scene I've ever seen on screen. It's really, really quite

[00:10:17] disgusting. So there's not a lot of like vampiresness in the- sure he's just sort of talking about

[00:10:26] his life as a vampire in the modern world while a camera crew follows him about but in this like-

[00:10:33] Yeah he smokes lots of cigarettes. Instant healing. Yeah and he smashes her head on the curb

[00:10:39] of bunch of times until she's almost dead then gets a knife out quite graphically cuts her wrist,

[00:10:46] puts his mouth to it, blood spurting everywhere then does the same thing with her neck and it's

[00:10:50] so messy. It's a lot. What's the waste? Well one of the best lines in that short is you

[00:10:55] think you know what blood looks like but you'd be surprised how different it looks when there's

[00:10:58] a lot of it. It's incredible performance. It's an incredible performance that he gives in young Dracula.

[00:11:05] It's got very nice smooth hair. I love his voice obsessed. Yeah. I was talking to Meg about the

[00:11:12] 2004 van Helsing movie and the guy they have playing Dracula and that I think it should have been

[00:11:19] Keith? Keith Lee Castle. Keith Lee Castle. He's very lucous Malfoy.

[00:11:23] Yeah he is. He is except but dark mode. Yeah yeah yeah. He's so camp with it. He's- you can see him

[00:11:31] having the most fun. Upstairs now! Wife Lee will I even feed your inch by inch to the rocks.

[00:11:41] I see you've been watching that Super 92. He's having so much fun. He's adorable. Father.

[00:11:49] I think sometimes the boy hates me. He could always kill him.

[00:11:56] Not helpful Renfield?

[00:12:02] You'd disappoint me. Just get this impostor out of my castle.

[00:12:08] Dad!

[00:12:10] Apparently not. The show I'm afraid. He's a terrible father of laddo.

[00:12:17] Is he a terrible father of laddo? Yeah. How for like do you think a dad pursuing his own interests

[00:12:23] for a child and ignoring their own wishes and hopes is good parents? Yeah yeah yeah but hear me out.

[00:12:30] He's a vampire. Yeah he's probably quite a good vampire dad. You're holding him to your own standards

[00:12:36] and you can't do that because your dad's not a vampire. There's an episode where Vlad has to

[00:12:44] pass a test and if he doesn't pass the test he will not come into his full powers. I know more of that.

[00:12:50] The count basically says, if you don't pass this test I will not acknowledge your existence.

[00:12:56] I got tempted with monetary rewards rather than they- Yeah some people have different tactics.

[00:13:03] Oh speaking of monetary rewards one of his best deliveries in the whole show is like

[00:13:09] he's trying to teach Vlad to fly and Vlad jumps off a table and he gives him £10

[00:13:13] and then later on in the episode Vlad's like look I can't fly and he goes but I gave you £10.

[00:13:22] He doesn't understand how well to go. But I gave you £10. I gave you money. Why can't you do it?

[00:13:28] But I gave you £10. He looks so cut to the core. He's so upset. I gave you £10.

[00:13:35] I love how he's- he- the vampire children but they're still children because Ingrid is so

[00:13:41] fuming that she didn't get £10. He's swanning around like a pan 10 advice just glorious.

[00:13:47] Remember when £10 was some money? Yeah. Actually what was I good at? Even as a kid. What can you

[00:13:53] you can't even get a fucking Fredo anymore with him? No no. I got a horrible smithy and a muffin.

[00:14:02] I liked the episode where Vlad accidentally hypnotises his dad and turns him into a normal dad.

[00:14:11] Oh my god I love that episode. That's one that I always remember from-

[00:14:14] Payton Maclaureth from my mother. I find him really sexy as the normal dad.

[00:14:18] When he wears normal clothes to go outside. Oh the parents evening one where he goes into the school

[00:14:24] and all the kids are like is your dad a famous rock star?

[00:14:28] So Mr Van Helsing, Shandong's better at chess than me.

[00:14:32] Well I got two fans and he says he isn't. Excuse me? Are you feeling this rock star?

[00:14:39] What? Look away I'm busy. These Welsh kids never seen a goth before.

[00:14:45] Just weird because it's way out. I found it a really emotional episode because Ingrid walks in

[00:14:51] and he's like hi Ingrid and she's like you never say hi to me and he gives her a hug.

[00:14:56] So why wouldn't I say hi to my favourite pizza? Oh it's so sad and she starts crying because

[00:15:02] he says I love you, it's just heart breaking. Or maybe that means that on some level he does love her.

[00:15:12] Hi Ingrid. Hi Dad.

[00:15:14] Hi Dad.

[00:15:20] You just said hello to me. Of course my puppet. Why wouldn't I say hello to my favourite daughter?

[00:15:26] Right. What's going on?

[00:15:30] I think it's going on, I just thought I'd bring a little bit of sunshine into our lives.

[00:15:35] Where's Vlad? He's up in his room watching TV.

[00:15:38] But you said we couldn't have a TV in our bedrooms.

[00:15:40] Don't remember saying that. Don't remember much talk for that matter.

[00:15:45] Master, what colour do you want next? Sunflower yellow or daisy delight?

[00:15:51] What are you thinking Ingrid?

[00:15:55] Ingrid? Today princess, how's it hanging?

[00:15:58] Dad I want you to look into my eyes, deep into my eyes.

[00:16:06] You know Ingrid you really are growing up to be a lovely young lady.

[00:16:09] Really?

[00:16:10] Look I've been reading your school report and I just know you could do a whole lot better.

[00:16:15] I am here for you. We can sit down and work this thing out.

[00:16:19] You want us fun time with me.

[00:16:22] As long as it takes.

[00:16:24] But you never want to spend time with me.

[00:16:27] Well that's all going to change.

[00:16:29] Oh yeah, I love you Ingrid.

[00:16:32] I love you too, Dad.

[00:16:46] Hey, what is it sugarplum?

[00:16:49] This is wrong.

[00:16:53] At the end of that episode they're painting and they're painting the castle back to black

[00:16:59] and he says, Oh Ingrid and turns around to go, yes Dad, get on with it.

[00:17:07] It's so sad.

[00:17:09] It is a show about bad fathers.

[00:17:11] The series one and two is a show about bad parents.

[00:17:14] Yeah.

[00:17:14] Dad specifically.

[00:17:16] Yeah.

[00:17:17] Where's Ingrid?

[00:17:18] Oh yeah, having a birthday party for Ingrid.

[00:17:20] Well I know she's only a pointless female but Oh Ingrid darling, happy birthday!

[00:17:25] Wow.

[00:17:26] What really?

[00:17:27] This is all for me.

[00:17:28] And you thought we'd forgotten.

[00:17:30] Rentals now shopping on week.

[00:17:35] Oh Dad, it's perfect!

[00:17:39] This is the best birthday ever.

[00:17:43] I can't believe it.

[00:17:47] All right, what's going on?

[00:17:47] Nothing's going on my precious.

[00:17:49] Just want you to look your best for your husband.

[00:17:53] Husband?

[00:17:55] I don't have a husband.

[00:17:57] You do now.

[00:17:58] Rentfield introduced Adrianus.

[00:18:03] Unfortunately, Adrianus could not be with us today so he recorded this special message.

[00:18:10] Hello Ingrid.

[00:18:11] Let me introduce you to my gods.

[00:18:15] The only thing I can say for the other two dads is they're extremely present in their kids' lives.

[00:18:20] Yeah?

[00:18:21] Like they spend so much time with their kids.

[00:18:24] Yeah, kind of.

[00:18:25] To kind of...

[00:18:25] That shouldn't be your only mate.

[00:18:27] To try and mold them into images of themselves though.

[00:18:30] Yeah, true.

[00:18:31] But they're there.

[00:18:35] Hello, darling.

[00:18:38] Oh, is that the time?

[00:18:40] Come on Robin.

[00:18:45] Oh my mom, I've missed you.

[00:18:47] I hate living with Dad.

[00:18:49] No, no. Don't cry.

[00:18:51] No, we don't.

[00:18:53] It's a such...

[00:18:55] Magda?

[00:18:56] Magda.

[00:18:57] I'm sorry, I hate Magda.

[00:18:59] Every episode she's in, I'm like, oh why are you here again?

[00:19:01] I do.

[00:19:03] I don't like her.

[00:19:05] I don't like her but what it results in is...

[00:19:09] So these two vampires go back a long way.

[00:19:13] They've tried to kill each other multiple times.

[00:19:15] They've had two kids together.

[00:19:17] They get back together every full moon.

[00:19:19] And when she turns up at the castle...

[00:19:21] Because it's a vampire show...

[00:19:25] I'm sorry, it's gonna be horny.

[00:19:29] That's just the way vampire media is.

[00:19:31] There's no avoiding that.

[00:19:33] But it's a CBBC drama.

[00:19:35] So you've got these two actors that are clearly really,

[00:19:41] really enjoying their roles.

[00:19:43] But they can't physically touch each other.

[00:19:47] Because of the CBBC...

[00:19:49] The Bermbe Jesus rules.

[00:19:51] Because of all the rules.

[00:19:53] So when she turns up at the castle,

[00:19:55] what you've got is two actors doing their very,

[00:19:59] very best to look as horny,

[00:20:03] as humanly possible.

[00:20:05] It's a very impressive thing to watch.

[00:20:07] Well, Dad's not falling for it this time.

[00:20:11] Are you there?

[00:20:12] Doctor.

[00:20:14] Hello.

[00:20:16] Bumba.

[00:20:18] Welcome home.

[00:20:20] Right, now Mum's back.

[00:20:22] I want Blood's Room.

[00:20:24] I think that sounds fair.

[00:20:26] Hang on. Dad gave me that room.

[00:20:28] Didn't you, Dad?

[00:20:30] Oh, Dad, just do as your mother said.

[00:20:32] But Bumba.

[00:20:34] Don't call me Bumba.

[00:20:36] Now go on!

[00:20:38] Back to that manky dog you left me for.

[00:20:42] Darling, I'm sorry.

[00:20:44] No.

[00:20:46] I'm sorry.

[00:20:48] Marry me.

[00:20:50] Well, of course we don't want to rush things,

[00:20:52] but how you fixed for tomorrow night?

[00:20:56] It is surprisingly horny for a show where there's no on-screen kissing.

[00:21:00] Yeah, there's none.

[00:21:02] There's no on-screen kiss.

[00:21:04] There's Ingrid and Robin.

[00:21:06] Okay, yeah.

[00:21:08] I'm not counting that.

[00:21:10] There's no one's like, there are times where it's implied but it cuts away.

[00:21:14] Like, it's almost like the makeup point.

[00:21:16] Yeah, it always cuts away.

[00:21:18] There's no biting. There's like one bite in the entire two seasons.

[00:21:20] Yeah, for her.

[00:21:22] Yes, there's one bite and it's when Ingrid turns her boyfriend will

[00:21:26] who will come onto in a minute into a vampire.

[00:21:30] And this is when Jonno's dressed as a woman sat at the back of the theatre

[00:21:36] watching them.

[00:21:38] And he's just, I mean, I know he's like 13 but like what a little virgin.

[00:21:42] Because she goes to bite him on the neck and his immediate thought is

[00:21:46] oh my god, she's turning him into a vampire and it's like no,

[00:21:50] she's really just two knuckles deep in his anus like

[00:21:54] I mean, yeah, the thing that he is right though

[00:21:58] and you are wrong but I get what you mean.

[00:22:00] He's right.

[00:22:02] She could be.

[00:22:04] She could also be.

[00:22:06] I can't show them, I'm telling.

[00:22:08] Yeah, he's just going to sit as an inter-seeker.

[00:22:12] But he's into it.

[00:22:14] Well, oh yeah, yeah, he's really good.

[00:22:16] He tries to run away and she's like absolutely not.

[00:22:18] There's something you should know about me.

[00:22:20] Hmm?

[00:22:22] I'm a vampire.

[00:22:24] Okay.

[00:22:26] No, really, I am a vampire.

[00:22:30] Oh yeah, I believe you.

[00:22:34] Why are you going?

[00:22:36] I'm sorry, I'm here because I can get it.

[00:22:38] Hi, I look like trouble.

[00:22:40] Yeah.

[00:22:42] The fight, then the case.

[00:22:44] What's that about?

[00:22:46] Women.

[00:22:48] Oh.

[00:22:50] Stop her!

[00:22:52] She buying into the vampire!

[00:22:54] Of course she is.

[00:22:56] It's a vampire film.

[00:22:58] No, her!

[00:23:00] Yeah, but then he loves his vampire life.

[00:23:02] Yeah, I mean, I don't know.

[00:23:04] When he turns up as a vampire in the next episode

[00:23:06] he looks like a vampire.

[00:23:08] He's like a vampire.

[00:23:10] Oh yeah, I love it.

[00:23:12] I love it.

[00:23:14] I love it.

[00:23:16] I love it.

[00:23:18] I love it.

[00:23:20] Yeah, yeah.

[00:23:22] The episode has some of the vampires

[00:23:24] of the vampire in the next episode.

[00:23:26] He looks like shit.

[00:23:28] He looks, I'm sorry, is that shit?

[00:23:30] The episode has some of the ghosts of

[00:23:32] the episode.

[00:23:34] He looks like shit.

[00:23:36] He looks, I'm sorry!

[00:23:38] Is it that shit is costume?

[00:23:40] I'm talking about the show.

[00:23:42] It's a really great show for costume.

[00:23:44] But his costume is like,

[00:23:46] Halloween?

[00:23:47] in a fun way rather than like,

[00:23:49] Will looks like shit.

[00:23:51] Will looks like shit.

[00:23:52] And, um, Ingrid also, he's any baby vampire.

[00:23:55] Yeah.

[00:23:56] Ingrid like matches him and I think she also looks like shit

[00:23:58] when she's dressed up in there in the purple couple.

[00:24:01] I don't, I didn't like it when he turned off as a vampire.

[00:24:04] I was like,

[00:24:05] but they were dressed up for that thing weren't they?

[00:24:07] They're like the grand time vampire thingy with stuff

[00:24:11] and the other vampires and that and the shit.

[00:24:13] And the soul balls and the stuff.

[00:24:17] When Will's first introduced it's a Halloween episode

[00:24:20] and people are like fighting over Ingrid

[00:24:23] and he's like,

[00:24:24] Enterprising young woman.

[00:24:25] Yeah, yeah.

[00:24:26] Come on, man!

[00:24:28] You need to go into the fire, that's ticklish!

[00:24:33] Will Clark.

[00:24:35] Never heard of him.

[00:24:36] What does he look like?

[00:24:38] Me.

[00:24:40] Look, do you want to go to the ball with me or not?

[00:24:44] Nah, they're really my thing.

[00:24:47] Yeah well, me neither.

[00:24:49] Yeah well, you better give these girls back then money then.

[00:24:52] No way!

[00:24:53] And he's like all cool about it and she tries to hypnotise him

[00:24:56] but you can't hypnotise someone you're in love with

[00:24:58] and the room starts shaking around them

[00:25:01] and he doesn't give a shit, he's like this girl's a bit weird

[00:25:04] and I just love it for Ingrid.

[00:25:06] I love them together.

[00:25:09] Safe Ingrid?

[00:25:11] No one is safe.

[00:25:13] No, it makes me look.

[00:25:18] It makes me look.

[00:25:25] I'm so happy for her.

[00:25:27] I'm Ride or Die for Ingrid, I love her.

[00:25:30] He goes to her house to help her fix her dad's new throne

[00:25:35] that she's set on fire

[00:25:36] and he gets a splinter and his finger starts bleeding

[00:25:39] and she like grabs him

[00:25:42] and throws him out.

[00:25:44] She's like you have to leave, you have to, you don't know.

[00:25:46] Because she is, I'm sorry it's another analogy for this.

[00:25:50] You don't get a lot of women being able to play this

[00:25:53] on TV or kids TV

[00:25:56] but it's like a metaphor for she wants to bite him

[00:26:00] but she is so down bad for him.

[00:26:03] Like she opens the door and it's not him,

[00:26:05] it's like a blood bag.

[00:26:07] Like that's how she sees him.

[00:26:09] So as I was saying,

[00:26:11] she grabs him and throws him out

[00:26:12] and he thinks nothing of it.

[00:26:13] That's how weird he is.

[00:26:15] It's okay on there.

[00:26:16] I don't want to look.

[00:26:18] Is that your dropper, Blit?

[00:26:19] You don't understand you have to leave.

[00:26:21] Who do you think you'd be squeamish about a tiny dropper?

[00:26:23] Go!

[00:26:25] Now!

[00:26:30] Speaking of things looking shit as well,

[00:26:33] in the episode where Ingrid turns 16

[00:26:38] the mum turns up to give her a coffin.

[00:26:41] Do you remember how this coffin looked?

[00:26:43] You know that, the 2000s like,

[00:26:47] correct tea.

[00:26:48] Yeah.

[00:26:50] I don't know what that is.

[00:26:51] It's like a blue flames and weight.

[00:26:53] It looks like it's made out of...

[00:26:55] Prog, what am I trying to say?

[00:26:57] Progressive rock.

[00:26:58] It's like, I made you a cookie

[00:27:01] but I eat it at Deviant Art Bullshit.

[00:27:04] It's so ugly.

[00:27:06] The greatest of the presents you get from the family

[00:27:07] who don't really know you.

[00:27:09] It's not made of wood, it's made of like lacquer.

[00:27:13] Lacquer, yeah.

[00:27:14] Oh, it's got like a picture of her on it

[00:27:19] and it's that gone awful purple again.

[00:27:21] It's like electric blue.

[00:27:23] I...

[00:27:25] When it was unboxed, I lost my shit Laura.

[00:27:29] Oh my god, I couldn't believe it.

[00:27:31] I was like, that's what it looks like.

[00:27:34] This 2003 awfulness.

[00:27:37] I don't know how much you guys cared about this

[00:27:39] because when I was watching it,

[00:27:41] I was like, okay, but what are the rules of this world?

[00:27:45] I can't say I gave a shit.

[00:27:47] That's me neither.

[00:27:49] In the amount of it being a CBBC drama

[00:27:52] and not all the vampire shit you've seen.

[00:27:55] Yeah, the only thing I had to compare it to

[00:27:57] really was Buffy

[00:27:59] which was very different vampire rules.

[00:28:01] shaky fucking world building in that as well

[00:28:04] when it's convenient for the plot.

[00:28:06] Yeah, just like it's very soft world building

[00:28:09] which sure were but...

[00:28:14] I don't know, okay.

[00:28:16] The rules of the vampirism are like really loosey goasy

[00:28:19] and like not they don't change

[00:28:21] but they're not like applied stringently.

[00:28:24] Neither is science because they've got blood

[00:28:26] in the basement that's still drinkable now.

[00:28:29] Hundreds of the year old blood wouldn't...

[00:28:31] Yeah, they don't buy people's candy.

[00:28:33] They've perfected the canning process.

[00:28:35] So they've just got like a basement

[00:28:36] and the way that they talk about it in this show

[00:28:40] which I love is like...

[00:28:41] Oh positive.

[00:28:45] Checkers Lovacchi and Priest.

[00:28:47] Priest, yeah.

[00:28:48] That's 60.

[00:28:49] Yeah, get it from the basement.

[00:28:53] You ring.

[00:28:59] Sorry to bother you.

[00:29:00] Have you come to donate blood?

[00:29:02] What?

[00:29:02] Sorry.

[00:29:03] Have you come to donate blood?

[00:29:04] No.

[00:29:05] Look, sugarcose, what cause?

[00:29:08] Lunch.

[00:29:08] No.

[00:29:09] I'm here because did you just say lunch?

[00:29:11] I now got...

[00:29:12] Who's it?

[00:29:13] Who is it?

[00:29:14] Some...

[00:29:14] I go peasant master.

[00:29:15] Thank you, pardon.

[00:29:16] Renfield and his cross dressing is a lot of fun.

[00:29:20] Okay, stress is all the time, look.

[00:29:22] Costuming for Renfield,

[00:29:24] the makeup,

[00:29:25] the production of Renfield as a character.

[00:29:27] Oh, he's disgusting.

[00:29:28] It's incredible.

[00:29:29] I think all the budget went on here.

[00:29:32] Oh, red...

[00:29:33] He looks like he smells and I thought he just...

[00:29:36] He looks so bad.

[00:29:39] And I cannot imagine a family of vampires

[00:29:43] who presumably have super senses

[00:29:46] want to hang out with someone who looks like...

[00:29:49] Just the bad...

[00:29:50] Oh!

[00:29:51] You can smell the blood less on someone who is disgusting.

[00:29:54] It's really bad.

[00:29:55] Well, I always thought that there was something of a...

[00:30:00] With the count and Renfield,

[00:30:01] there's a bit of a agreement.

[00:30:03] Greg Davies, Alex Horn relationship.

[00:30:06] Yeah.

[00:30:08] I'm master.

[00:30:10] I was wondering...

[00:30:12] Would you be sitting on very much longer?

[00:30:14] Yes.

[00:30:15] You've been punished.

[00:30:17] You've forgotten why you're down there.

[00:30:18] She's like...

[00:30:20] Because they kind of...

[00:30:21] Like, they get along.

[00:30:22] Because I mean, I don't know the Dracula lore of Renfield,

[00:30:27] like the OG lore of Renfield,

[00:30:29] but I think he's disgusting because he eats bugs

[00:30:34] and he would taste really horrendous.

[00:30:35] Yeah, he does a lot of that in...

[00:30:38] I think in the book he's really gross and off-putting.

[00:30:42] There's an episode where the count's looking for a new bride

[00:30:45] and Renfield's like,

[00:30:46] Oh, she'll never make him happy.

[00:30:48] And there's another bit where...

[00:30:49] Come on, no, Sim.

[00:30:50] Yeah, Magdars trying to buy him

[00:30:52] and he's like, I'm saving myself for the master.

[00:30:55] There's a lot of jokes that really do well to slide,

[00:31:01] to be honest.

[00:31:02] Things like that.

[00:31:03] Yeah.

[00:31:04] What?

[00:31:05] Like...

[00:31:06] I'm surprised to see people see it going away.

[00:31:08] Oh!

[00:31:09] Okay.

[00:31:10] Magdars.

[00:31:15] No.

[00:31:16] Renfield.

[00:31:18] Ah!

[00:31:20] There's a...

[00:31:22] It's opposition that for the whole time there,

[00:31:24] Dracula has never bitten anyone and he's like starving hungry

[00:31:29] because he eats sheep in season two, right?

[00:31:32] Yeah, he's sort of...

[00:31:34] But the... oh, there's a reference right at the beginning

[00:31:36] that they're on their like 18th postman.

[00:31:38] Yeah.

[00:31:39] He's never bites anyone after they first get there

[00:31:43] but when they first get there he massacers the entire post

[00:31:46] and he posts me on the way.

[00:31:48] No one comes to investigate.

[00:31:50] There's a find that they've gone through all these postman.

[00:31:52] They're all just in the basement.

[00:31:53] There's a line that...

[00:31:54] There's a line that where Magdars says something like,

[00:31:57] is it Magdars?

[00:31:58] Is it the count where they say,

[00:32:01] where's that pizza boy I ought to be?

[00:32:04] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:32:05] And that'll be my six foot silly.

[00:32:06] Yeah.

[00:32:07] And there's a bit where this is a line that's never delved into, I think.

[00:32:14] I think...

[00:32:15] Not that I remember very much of it but even in the later season

[00:32:18] I don't think this is explored.

[00:32:20] And I think the reason I'm angry is pissing the count off again.

[00:32:23] And he's like, you know what happened to my last daughter?

[00:32:26] I'm your only daughter.

[00:32:27] You are now.

[00:32:28] Nothing ever comes of that.

[00:32:31] What did he do?

[00:32:32] He's a really difficult character to root for.

[00:32:37] I love him.

[00:32:38] And you're my manager.

[00:32:39] I love him but he's so awful to angry.

[00:32:42] It's so sad.

[00:32:43] We talked about this a little bit because you were like,

[00:32:45] oh, he's so angry.

[00:32:46] And I was like, I don't know why but my suspension of disbelief

[00:32:49] is that it doesn't bother me.

[00:32:51] I don't even have moral judgments on how I'm like, yeah.

[00:32:54] The budget they're working with, they've done some really amazing things.

[00:32:58] And yet some really shit thing.

[00:33:00] Well, yeah.

[00:33:01] Because it all went on making Renfield look just gross.

[00:33:04] I think Simon Lutter plays that character really well.

[00:33:08] He really does.

[00:33:10] I actually think he's worse in series three when they've cleaned him up.

[00:33:15] Yeah, they give him a wash.

[00:33:16] He's so effective.

[00:33:17] Yeah, why would you change anything?

[00:33:19] And he's got like, he's just so fleshy.

[00:33:25] So much so much.

[00:33:26] You can see it all.

[00:33:28] They clean him up and he looks like the episode where he is his dad.

[00:33:34] Does he look like his dad?

[00:33:35] Yes except for the fact that he still doesn't have her.

[00:33:39] But yes, there's an episode where they resurrect Renfield's dad.

[00:33:43] And because Renfield's actually a scientific genius and a good dentist.

[00:33:48] These are things we know about, sorry, my God.

[00:33:51] Oh, okay.

[00:33:52] Yeah, there's an episode where Vlad has two thick and he's worried that his fangs are coming through

[00:33:57] and he's trying to avoid being dentisted upon by Renfield.

[00:34:01] And by the end, he can't avoid it anymore.

[00:34:05] At the end, he's just like, yeah, no, he's pretty good actually.

[00:34:08] I mean, it makes sense as someone whose teeth are eternally there and important

[00:34:12] to have a good dentist on stuff.

[00:34:14] Yeah.

[00:34:15] And yet, Renfield can't take care of his own teeth.

[00:34:17] No, not at all.

[00:34:19] You got like two rooms in the castle and that's it.

[00:34:23] You've got Vlad's bedroom and you've got the sort of main hall.

[00:34:26] And they dress it really well to sometimes look like an intimate sort of breakfast room

[00:34:32] and sometimes to look like a ballroom.

[00:34:34] I see, because there is an Ingrid's room.

[00:34:36] We do see Ingrid's room.

[00:34:37] We do see Dracula's room.

[00:34:38] We do see Vlad's room.

[00:34:39] We see this main hall.

[00:34:40] We see the lab.

[00:34:41] Yeah, I was wrong.

[00:34:42] Okay.

[00:34:43] It's also a toilet.

[00:34:44] Do we see that?

[00:34:45] Yeah.

[00:34:46] We're there holding that guy hostage.

[00:34:47] Oh, yeah.

[00:34:48] Let's go.

[00:34:49] There's a corridor that's creepy.

[00:34:50] There's the slide pit as well.

[00:34:51] We never see it.

[00:34:52] It's just reference.

[00:34:53] But we know it's that.

[00:34:54] There's a bit where the counter says to Renfield, go to your hole.

[00:34:55] Yeah, this is done just because Venus being chained up in the dungeon.

[00:34:58] Right, so there's a lot of...

[00:34:59] Okay.

[00:35:00] So you've got the school and...

[00:35:02] Oh my god, the name of the school in...

[00:35:04] Like, it's a...

[00:35:05] Oh, yeah.

[00:35:06] It's a bit...

[00:35:07] Oh, yeah.

[00:35:08] It's a bit where the counter says to Renfield, go to your hole.

[00:35:09] The name of the school in...

[00:35:11] Like, it's so Welsh.

[00:35:12] It's very long and completely incomprehensible.

[00:35:14] Oh, I never even noticed.

[00:35:16] It's...

[00:35:17] I don't think you see it.

[00:35:18] I googled it.

[00:35:19] And I should have a key.

[00:35:20] Okay.

[00:35:21] And in series two, they introduce a train platform.

[00:35:25] A train.

[00:35:26] There's like two locations.

[00:35:27] A train platform.

[00:35:28] A grassy knoll.

[00:35:29] A grassy knoll.

[00:35:30] A train truck is next to it.

[00:35:31] Is it the grassy knoll?

[00:35:33] No.

[00:35:34] It's unbelievable because the seamwear, Jonno's at the train station.

[00:35:38] And there's a lot of people at the train station as well.

[00:35:40] And realistically, a train station like that you get to passengers a day.

[00:35:43] Not several all at once.

[00:35:45] It's the only train for that whole week.

[00:35:48] They've all got...

[00:35:49] We've got to get that train.

[00:35:50] So that?

[00:35:51] I believe that he's...

[00:35:53] He's got a car when you can't be asked to drive him to be here.

[00:35:55] It's a hers.

[00:35:56] Oh, yeah.

[00:35:57] Oh, yeah.

[00:35:58] Oh, yeah.

[00:35:59] They drive a hers around which is fun.

[00:36:01] Both families drive hers, don't they?

[00:36:04] The van Helsing's have a weird car as well.

[00:36:06] That's a caravan.

[00:36:07] No, not that caravan.

[00:36:08] No, they have a weird caravan.

[00:36:09] It's kind of...

[00:36:10] Oh, yeah, no, they do.

[00:36:11] Yeah, you're right.

[00:36:12] Sorry.

[00:36:13] There's a lot of references to original Dracula.

[00:36:17] Yeah.

[00:36:18] Like the car is called Demeter which is the name of the ship that Dracula supposedly sailed across

[00:36:26] on to Whitby.

[00:36:27] To Whitby, yeah.

[00:36:28] What else is there?

[00:36:30] There's lots of names there.

[00:36:32] Mrs. Harker.

[00:36:33] Yeah, there's Mrs. Harker.

[00:36:34] Obviously, there's Jonathan and Meena but they're van Helsing's and not Harkers.

[00:36:41] There's something else.

[00:36:43] Oh, in the series three and four, there's a Western Rar as well isn't there?

[00:36:48] Which is...

[00:36:49] Magda, Western Rar is her name.

[00:36:52] Well, it's also a Wolfy Western R I think in series three and four.

[00:36:56] Yeah, Wolfy is the baby that Magda...

[00:36:59] That's right.

[00:37:00] So she turns up at the castle.

[00:37:02] Yeah, pregnant.

[00:37:03] She says, hello darlings or should I say congratulations daddy.

[00:37:09] Yeah.

[00:37:10] She's so funny.

[00:37:12] And what else is there?

[00:37:14] There's a few...

[00:37:15] Oh, obviously the town's called Stokely.

[00:37:19] Yeah.

[00:37:20] I wondered if Branagh was kind of like meant to be Bran.

[00:37:26] I don't know if that's an age but it's come from somewhere.

[00:37:30] Yeah.

[00:37:31] It would help if we had read the original Dracula.

[00:37:34] I hated it, I tried to.

[00:37:36] I hate pistols.

[00:37:37] I was asking a pistolatory novel.

[00:37:39] I hate them.

[00:37:40] I like them.

[00:37:41] I can't be...

[00:37:42] Give me the plot.

[00:37:43] Don't really work for it this hard.

[00:37:45] Like, come on, can I please just read a book?

[00:37:47] Yeah, there's quite a few of these but obviously definitely going to be more.

[00:37:52] And because there's some references to existing Dracula media like so in the season finale,

[00:37:59] the second season finale, is it the end?

[00:38:04] The Morae or is that the late?

[00:38:06] Oh yeah, yeah.

[00:38:07] Yeah, it is.

[00:38:08] So Morae is actually the name for the Fates and Nordic mythology.

[00:38:14] I don't know how that ties into it but that's the Fates and that.

[00:38:17] Anyway, he's dressed up as Gary Oldman's Dracula from 1992, the like red armor with the...

[00:38:25] It's a really shit version of it.

[00:38:28] It looks like it's been painted.

[00:38:29] Ingrid is potentially a reference to an actress who was in one of the old Dracula movies.

[00:38:34] I'd love a bell logo to see reference but I didn't notice any.

[00:38:38] Um...

[00:38:39] Uh...

[00:38:40] Oh, the Americans!

[00:38:43] Children prepare to meet your uncle.

[00:38:46] I've never left thirsty.

[00:38:49] The vowra of souls and black-hearted butcher of them.

[00:38:55] Yo, big bro.

[00:38:57] Come give me a hug.

[00:38:59] Ah!

[00:39:04] Ivan?

[00:39:05] The name's Harvey now.

[00:39:07] Ivan's so old country, don't you think?

[00:39:11] But your difference, you've got a son-ton!

[00:39:14] It's out of a bottle.

[00:39:16] But he gets rid of that pasty-look moment pop with so far in love.

[00:39:19] You should try some.

[00:39:21] Guys, you gotta be Vlad, Ingrid.

[00:39:24] High fives!

[00:39:28] Okay, maybe later.

[00:39:30] Meet your cousin.

[00:39:31] Olga!

[00:39:35] Your grace?

[00:39:39] Choming.

[00:39:41] Please.

[00:39:42] Mrs. Barris?

[00:39:45] He has a few personal contact issues.

[00:39:51] He's shy.

[00:39:53] Forgot about those, completely forgot about those.

[00:39:56] The Americans.

[00:39:58] Actually, she just knows, she doesn't like Americans in general.

[00:40:01] Aurora?

[00:40:02] I actually enjoyed the daughter.

[00:40:03] I thought she was an interesting character.

[00:40:05] She was my least favorite one.

[00:40:07] I hated Barris.

[00:40:08] As I said to you guys,

[00:40:10] yesterday, she looks like he doesn't shower.

[00:40:13] She says he looks like he smells bad.

[00:40:15] Which I think is one of the most cutting insults you can give a person.

[00:40:19] Not even you smell bad in that being.

[00:40:21] You look like you smell bad.

[00:40:22] You look like you smell bad.

[00:40:24] Imagine being told that you look like you smell bad.

[00:40:28] Don't say that about me.

[00:40:30] And then it's directed so much of this just into the barrel.

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[00:41:26] That's Amazon.com slash comedy ad-free to catch up on the latest episodes without the ads.

[00:41:33] I love the camera.

[00:41:35] I really hope you've been for some good bits, but I don't think I'm being that funny today.

[00:41:39] Oh, you are. You're very funny.

[00:41:41] Does anyone think of anything funny?

[00:41:43] Make sure to see it down the camera please.

[00:41:46] No, I like the Americans.

[00:41:48] I like... Oh, I completely forgot that LOL from Lolland Bouncer is...

[00:41:53] I'm sorry. Yeah.

[00:41:54] I think he plays it really well.

[00:41:56] I think he's very funny.

[00:41:57] I think he's a good actor.

[00:42:00] Yeah, he is. When the cousins rocked up...

[00:42:03] Is what, three episodes that they're in?

[00:42:05] Yeah.

[00:42:06] I didn't like any of their plot.

[00:42:09] I was so like, I don't care about these people.

[00:42:12] Just go back to the normal...

[00:42:14] I loved Boris's transformation episode because he's a nice, normal boy-ish

[00:42:21] and then he turns into the most evil vampire ever.

[00:42:25] And it's kind of like...

[00:42:26] I think it's a really good episode because it's everything that Vlad is trying to avoid.

[00:42:30] So you kind of get nervous for him, because it's like, oh maybe...

[00:42:33] Just maybe he's going to be okay

[00:42:36] because you're watching Boris do it first, but he's not and it's sad.

[00:42:44] That Boris is the way till destiny.

[00:42:48] And I'll suppose you kept the receipt.

[00:42:57] You can do this, Boris.

[00:42:58] But I remember to stay for first.

[00:43:00] You are not evil.

[00:43:01] Say it.

[00:43:02] I'm not evil.

[00:43:03] Again! I'm not evil.

[00:43:04] One small one!

[00:43:08] Okay...

[00:43:10] We'll leave that for now.

[00:43:11] So...

[00:43:12] Does this mean you're evil?

[00:43:14] Vlad, Vlad, Vlad.

[00:43:18] Come on.

[00:43:19] It's me.

[00:43:20] Boris...

[00:43:22] I wouldn't hurt a fly.

[00:43:25] Really?

[00:43:26] I remembered what you said.

[00:43:28] I stayed focused.

[00:43:31] I'm not evil.

[00:43:33] I'm not evil.

[00:43:36] It works, Vlad.

[00:43:37] And the same Boris I was before.

[00:43:41] Only now I'm stronger, braver and more powerful.

[00:43:44] And you will be too.

[00:43:45] Just look at what you can become.

[00:43:49] To the backpack.

[00:43:51] Sorry.

[00:43:52] Men only.

[00:43:54] Go sit on a stake.

[00:43:56] Wake up, loser.

[00:43:58] It's an act.

[00:44:01] Just want to let you know.

[00:44:03] When it's your turn,

[00:44:05] you'll become just as evil as I am.

[00:44:07] Just you wait.

[00:44:09] You can't escape your destiny.

[00:44:13] I'll be back!

[00:44:14] No one can stop me!

[00:44:15] No one!

[00:44:23] He's lost him.

[00:44:26] Big deal!

[00:44:28] Do you know what episode I loved?

[00:44:30] I loved Insomnia.

[00:44:32] I want to talk about Insomnia because...

[00:44:34] Vlad is like he's starting to fall asleep during the day

[00:44:39] because he's on the cusp of becoming a vampire

[00:44:43] and he keeps falling asleep in random places

[00:44:47] and going into the vampire dream world.

[00:44:49] When you die in the dream world,

[00:44:51] you die in real life.

[00:44:53] Insomnia has got nothing on your Dracula.

[00:44:56] When you die in comedy improv,

[00:44:58] you die in real life.

[00:45:00] And Ingrid is jealous of him

[00:45:03] because she says,

[00:45:05] oh, you can't go to the dream one until you're 16

[00:45:08] and a vampire but obviously Vlad,

[00:45:10] if you didn't know,

[00:45:11] he's the chosen one.

[00:45:12] And so he keeps falling asleep

[00:45:15] and going into these weird dreams

[00:45:16] where he keeps seeing Robin.

[00:45:18] He's coming.

[00:45:20] Who's coming?

[00:45:22] You must learn to master your vampire powers to survive.

[00:45:26] As a spirit guy, you're a big guide, Robin.

[00:45:30] Rest is like a dojo master.

[00:45:34] Yeah.

[00:45:36] Oh, I lost my mind, but I first thought

[00:45:38] I was like, what's happening?

[00:45:40] You know what?

[00:45:41] Just as a quick aside,

[00:45:42] there's an awful lot of running through forests in this.

[00:45:45] Like, does that episode...

[00:45:46] Very wolf blood.

[00:45:47] The very first episode of...

[00:45:49] Yeah.

[00:45:50] ...series 3 has got Ingrid running through forest loads.

[00:45:54] And I don't know,

[00:45:55] Vampire's Can't Cross water.

[00:45:57] What do you do now, Vlad?

[00:45:58] Anyway, the Branners are Slayers and they're after him

[00:46:03] and Ingrid is already a vampire but she's...

[00:46:06] No, a nerd.

[00:46:07] She's like the Boris version of herself

[00:46:10] and I can't...

[00:46:13] But Vlad ends up being admitted to hospital

[00:46:17] and he's on like a dritt and IV.

[00:46:20] Is he like rides around in this hospital bed?

[00:46:23] And he starts just letting it happen even though he knows...

[00:46:26] What's happening?

[00:46:27] Yeah.

[00:46:28] This leads well into the world building conversation

[00:46:32] because like, firstly there's just...

[00:46:35] Why can't he...

[00:46:37] When you're not a vampire yet,

[00:46:39] they constantly refer to Ingrid and Vlad

[00:46:42] as dead.

[00:46:43] But he's got all the signs of life that a hospital recognizes

[00:46:47] as they'd be very concerned when he's hooked up to the EKG

[00:46:51] and like what...

[00:46:53] This dream world stuff can you only be born a vampire

[00:46:57] or I guess you're at the will against her

[00:46:59] and it's one of these called a heart attack.

[00:47:00] They call them heart fangs when they're turned into vampires.

[00:47:02] Does that mean Dracula was born as a vampire?

[00:47:04] I just have so many questions about the rules.

[00:47:07] Like, they're not being able to cross water one.

[00:47:09] How did they get to the UK?

[00:47:11] It's an island.

[00:47:12] Yeah.

[00:47:13] You travel in your coffin.

[00:47:16] That's what Dracula did.

[00:47:17] Oh yeah.

[00:47:18] You're pretty sure that's what Dracula did.

[00:47:20] We have to travel in your coffin

[00:47:21] and they're not actual vampires yet, so they...

[00:47:23] I really enjoy the...

[00:47:25] Sorry, go on.

[00:47:26] No, but they have to be in the soil.

[00:47:29] Yeah.

[00:47:30] So I was going to say like the very traditional vampire rules

[00:47:33] is the coffins with your home country soil.

[00:47:37] You can't cross water.

[00:47:38] You don't have a reflection.

[00:47:39] You can't enter a home without invitation.

[00:47:42] You will die without blood, so I don't know how he...

[00:47:45] That's the garlic thing.

[00:47:47] The garlic thing.

[00:47:48] Crosses?

[00:47:49] We talked about this before.

[00:47:50] We did.

[00:47:51] There's no crosses in this shot.

[00:47:52] No, no crosses and there's no holy water either.

[00:47:54] I think they're trying to just make it very secular.

[00:47:56] Yes, I think I imagine so.

[00:47:58] Yeah, you get a lot of complaints to CBBC.

[00:48:01] Yeah, yeah.

[00:48:02] And then, so like, is it wood that kills them

[00:48:06] if they get staked with it?

[00:48:07] Because at one point van Helsingstakes someone with a bone.

[00:48:10] Not the same thing.

[00:48:11] Well, as he says in urban Gothic...

[00:48:15] I don't know anyone that wouldn't kill.

[00:48:17] That wouldn't kill.

[00:48:18] Son.

[00:48:20] Just on block.

[00:48:21] And then like so just lots of world-building questions

[00:48:25] because they play pretty fast and loose with these rules.

[00:48:30] I enjoy Dracula's parents in law.

[00:48:34] Yeah.

[00:48:35] And they arrive in their coffins, ones a normal coffin.

[00:48:38] And the other one is like this squat.

[00:48:40] Like these are wheelchair.

[00:48:42] Yeah.

[00:48:44] It's like this old man in this like square coffin.

[00:48:49] I also love Ingrid's transformation episode.

[00:48:52] Oh my god, yeah, it's a really good one.

[00:48:55] It's a really good one because she looks so different

[00:48:58] so it's the evil version of her that's trying to catch up to her

[00:49:01] and like get inside her basically.

[00:49:03] That shouldn't have been pi-a-pe chasing us, but she's not of empire.

[00:49:07] Are you Ingrid?

[00:49:08] You didn't go through with the transformation.

[00:49:10] If you breathe a word of this to anyone I'll...

[00:49:13] Well, I can't bite you but I'll do something evil.

[00:49:17] I don't get it.

[00:49:18] I thought you had to transform.

[00:49:20] I thought so too.

[00:49:21] But there's a way out of it, isn't there?

[00:49:27] None whatsoever.

[00:49:28] Run!

[00:49:29] And they've given her because she's got these really beautiful

[00:49:32] pale blue eyes in real life.

[00:49:34] And they've given her black eye contact lenses

[00:49:37] and she looks completely different person.

[00:49:41] It's amazing.

[00:49:42] Some of the effects, like the eye effects.

[00:49:44] When Venus in the run-housing mom is in the dungeon,

[00:49:50] there's this bit where she calls Dracula a monster.

[00:49:53] And the effects that they do to his face in that one moment

[00:49:56] I was like, yeah, that was actually really good at shouting.

[00:50:01] The reason you're being punished is because I'm hungry!

[00:50:04] Nobody is swapping rooms without my permission.

[00:50:07] In fact, from now on nobody does anything without my permission.

[00:50:10] Now get out of my sight!

[00:50:12] Flaming torches!

[00:50:16] Ah!

[00:50:17] Redfield!

[00:50:18] Now which of us shall I start with first?

[00:50:20] And stop.

[00:50:21] They know with vampires!

[00:50:23] What's so fast? You're ready girl!

[00:50:26] You think I don't know who's behind this shut-out?

[00:50:30] Vladimir, no one slurs the name of a Dracula!

[00:50:34] Curse that teacher.

[00:50:36] Saying Shandu was BAMMY!

[00:50:39] I WANT BLAD to MY WANTS IN NOW!

[00:50:44] You're a vampire. Start acting like one!

[00:50:48] He... I'm obsessed with the way he plays this character

[00:50:52] because I forget watching it that he's playing a version of Dracula

[00:50:56] in my head. I'm like, oh it's the dad from Young Dracula

[00:51:00] but it is a version of Dracula and I really enjoy it.

[00:51:03] I love the episode where his life force leaves in the museum,

[00:51:08] his life leaves his body and he accidentally...

[00:51:12] Yes, it's Van Helsing.

[00:51:14] Van Helsing and Van Helsing plays both himself and well.

[00:51:19] Oh, well.

[00:51:20] His health being possessed by Dracula and his being is incredible what he does.

[00:51:26] Oh, this is bad.

[00:51:28] What happened?

[00:51:32] The council life force is trapped inside me so his body is defenseless.

[00:51:36] Go to the staff of Carp A, if you accept it and...

[00:51:44] Give him a nice bar of chocolates.

[00:51:48] Bar of chocolates!

[00:51:51] No, I didn't say that. It was count talking.

[00:51:57] I meant...

[00:52:10] Hmm, to him.

[00:52:16] No, you mean steak him?

[00:52:18] Yes!

[00:52:20] No!

[00:52:22] Yes!

[00:52:23] No!

[00:52:24] Yes!

[00:52:26] I'm sorry, Nina.

[00:52:27] I...

[00:52:32] Don't go find you now!

[00:52:35] Yeah, on that like more world building stuff so by the rules put down by this spirit possession thing

[00:52:41] that means that the vampire stuff is tied to the body not the soul because he can go out in sunlight

[00:52:46] and his body still burns.

[00:52:47] I also love the fact that Ingrid has this really hard exterior

[00:52:52] like I'm going to be an evil vampire goddess and when it's her time to transform

[00:52:57] she's really scared and Vlad like helps her out and

[00:53:01] oh, he really loves her and he has absolutely no reason to...

[00:53:12] What's the need for that?

[00:53:22] What a time for your voice to break!

[00:53:27] Can I come out now?

[00:53:29] So, do you...

[00:53:30] Do you mind if I read out some bits that I just really, really enjoyed?

[00:53:34] Like these are just from my notes while I was watching.

[00:53:37] So...

[00:53:38] So it's all about you now, is it?

[00:53:39] Well, you could have made a list as well.

[00:53:41] I liked when...

[00:53:45] When Chano opened his locker and his dad's in it.

[00:53:52] Dad, what are you doing?

[00:53:54] Shhh, vampires of aliens.

[00:53:58] Like he's hiding.

[00:53:59] Like you don't need to hide this is your place of work like you're supposed to be here.

[00:54:02] TFW.

[00:54:03] I liked when Magda's round and the couch trying to woo her back

[00:54:09] and he's wearing these really tight leather trousers

[00:54:11] and he's like, oh, these are pinching a bit

[00:54:13] and it's like, you wear this all the time.

[00:54:15] You've been wearing leather trousers this entire time.

[00:54:17] You don't have blood flow.

[00:54:19] How do you...

[00:54:20] You're pinching a bit.

[00:54:21] Oh, no, it's a bone a joke.

[00:54:23] I was just...

[00:54:24] It is.

[00:54:25] Is this a bone a joke?

[00:54:26] Is it?

[00:54:27] Yeah, all these are pinching a bit.

[00:54:28] It's a bone a joke.

[00:54:29] Okay.

[00:54:30] I liked wake up one more time.

[00:54:31] How does that work?

[00:54:32] You must be able to get one.

[00:54:33] No, this...

[00:54:34] Again, we're on building stuff.

[00:54:35] Do they happen?

[00:54:36] But you just have to be really, really persistent with it.

[00:54:39] Where is it?

[00:54:40] A former fricking woman.

[00:54:41] That's how hard it is.

[00:54:43] It's anyway, Laura.

[00:54:45] So why is it called a boner?

[00:54:47] I liked wake up.

[00:54:49] It's wake up.

[00:54:50] It's controlled, regular mortis.

[00:54:51] It's not controlled, it's not controlled.

[00:54:53] It's not controlled, it's not controlled.

[00:54:54] There is one series I've read where the vampires are able to control the flow of blood in their

[00:55:00] body.

[00:55:01] Anyway, Laura, tell us more about the sexy vampire book she've read.

[00:55:04] No.

[00:55:05] I like...

[00:55:06] I don't hear you.

[00:55:07] I continue else.

[00:55:08] I like the middle of her favorite things.

[00:55:09] I liked wake up and smell the coffin.

[00:55:11] I liked my old man's vampire.

[00:55:14] He wears a vampire cape.

[00:55:17] I liked how dare you bring confectionery into this house.

[00:55:21] What if my precious son found them?

[00:55:23] It's very Christopher Lee.

[00:55:30] I liked the counters of rugby coach.

[00:55:33] Yep.

[00:55:34] That was fun.

[00:55:35] Now we're talking rugby.

[00:55:37] But dad is cheating.

[00:55:38] I know, isn't it fun?

[00:55:40] Right.

[00:55:41] Let's try some offensive play.

[00:55:42] I'll tackle Redfield!

[00:55:45] You two try and block me.

[00:55:47] Take all of me.

[00:55:49] Ready?

[00:55:50] One.

[00:55:51] Two.

[00:55:53] Three.

[00:55:55] Go!

[00:55:57] Get me!

[00:55:59] Meals on heels.

[00:56:02] Yeah, that was it.

[00:56:05] Oh, when Mrs. Branagh is going to go over to the castle...

[00:56:13] Castle?

[00:56:14] ..to give the count her cherry pie.

[00:56:18] The dad gets jealous.

[00:56:20] That's fun.

[00:56:21] I think she'll take your own wife's cherry pie now and then may instead of staring at Magda when she comes round.

[00:56:27] I liked it!

[00:56:29] When Magda's round and all the men are sort of thawing over her,

[00:56:33] and then Robin goes upstairs to comfort Vlad.

[00:56:36] He said, oh, you've finished drooling over my mum, have you?

[00:56:38] And Robin goes...

[00:56:39] Oh no!

[00:56:40] I'll be going back down in a minute.

[00:56:42] Anyway, anyway, as I was saying, Mr. Branagh is...

[00:56:47] ..he's such an absent husband.

[00:56:49] Is there any wonder that she likes to go up to the castle and get a bit of attention now and then?

[00:56:55] I do the same thing.

[00:56:58] When Van Helsing is getting tested on his slaying ability and they call it off-slay.

[00:57:03] Off-slay is fun.

[00:57:05] Courts about that because like if there's this whole slayer structure,

[00:57:09] he went to slaying school, he's going for a test.

[00:57:13] There's other slayers, there's one that's killed 900 plus people.

[00:57:16] So it's like why don't you believe him?

[00:57:18] Why do you believe...

[00:57:19] You've got all these fucking proof that there's this system of legislation behind slaying.

[00:57:26] Just show fucking your wife your license.

[00:57:30] Yeah, but there were very organised cults.

[00:57:35] They're called cults lower.

[00:57:37] Just because this organisation doesn't mean it's real.

[00:57:42] No, that's true, but it's over like even side-tollage.

[00:57:47] It would lend you to either be more concerned or more understanding

[00:57:53] or leave him even for the thing you're sure to know about this before you get with a guy.

[00:57:59] You think you could change him, you can't change him, he'll be his slayer forever.

[00:58:03] Yeah, like how did he keep that a secret while you guys were dating?

[00:58:07] Did you wait till you had a kid to be like, right I need to raise him.

[00:58:11] How my family's raised all of us for generations.

[00:58:14] Yeah, it's like dealing vampires.

[00:58:16] She must have known her parents in law who were also...

[00:58:21] Yeah.

[00:58:22] ...when they died tragically, young obviously.

[00:58:24] Oh yeah, they all do.

[00:58:26] When Magda's giving birth and Rem feels like, I've found the full-seps of wiped off the mold.

[00:58:33] And the count's panicking.

[00:58:35] I think he's panicking and he just says the words, legs.

[00:58:39] I hope it's like to call an ambulance the count's light and I know I'll be fine.

[00:58:47] Like she's clearly done this one three times before.

[00:58:51] Yeah, and Mrs. Brown is that a...

[00:58:53] Secret condolson.

[00:58:54] No, three of those is a secret extra daughter.

[00:58:57] Do you mean?

[00:58:58] Because there's two children three times before.

[00:59:00] Oh, what?

[00:59:03] Vlad Ingrid, secret daughter.

[00:59:06] Three times before this fourth time.

[00:59:08] Oh, okay.

[00:59:09] Yeah, I think that's what we were saying.

[00:59:10] That's what the watch is one.

[00:59:12] That's what I bring.

[00:59:15] Pedant truth.

[00:59:16] Flag cuts his finger and he sort of licks it whatever.

[00:59:21] What is it?

[00:59:23] Objectively normal thing for question to do.

[00:59:26] Yeah, yeah.

[00:59:27] And the two slayers are like...

[00:59:28] He's feasting on himself.

[00:59:30] Oh, that is disgusting.

[00:59:32] Oh, I just, I can't.

[00:59:34] I hate the van Helsing so much.

[00:59:37] They're so tapped.

[00:59:38] So I don't care if they're right.

[00:59:40] They are like...

[00:59:41] I like John now.

[00:59:42] I do.

[00:59:43] I feel bad for it.

[00:59:44] I feel really like him.

[00:59:45] Like I think I do think he does it to himself.

[00:59:47] I like their garlic water guns.

[00:59:49] They're ridiculous.

[00:59:50] Insta in lieu of holy water.

[00:59:53] Yeah, garlic water.

[00:59:55] Yeah.

[00:59:56] They're all about that.

[00:59:57] There's so much garlic in their house.

[00:59:59] I love watching how much garlic you'd need to juice

[01:00:03] to fill a water gun.

[01:00:05] Oh my god.

[01:00:06] So many garlic.

[01:00:07] Got the garlic bridges.

[01:00:08] That's why they don't have a house.

[01:00:10] So they don't have a garlic.

[01:00:12] I asked my grandma once to buy me some garlic from the store

[01:00:15] and she came back and she was like,

[01:00:17] this was so expensive.

[01:00:18] What is this?

[01:00:19] What is this?

[01:00:20] 50k.

[01:00:21] And I was like, well grandma, you don't use all the ones I do.

[01:00:25] But you know, the vampires must hate the like comfy garlic trend

[01:00:29] for this happening.

[01:00:30] In the episode where the count becomes a regular diet,

[01:00:36] they're trying to prove to the van Helsing's that he's not actually a vampire

[01:00:45] and they're having like a dinner party or something.

[01:00:49] Like a starter is close of garlic.

[01:00:51] Yeah, he's the first cause.

[01:00:53] Enjoy your little cloves of garlic because if that's normal,

[01:00:56] and Robin,

[01:00:57] but the picks it up and starts munching on it.

[01:00:59] The Helsing's are so tapped

[01:01:01] that they don't even question why a family might be having garlic

[01:01:06] as a starter.

[01:01:07] And then like,

[01:01:08] manage to switch out the counts garlic clove with a piece of chalk

[01:01:13] and he goes,

[01:01:15] hmm, bit dry.

[01:01:16] But yeah, it's all right.

[01:01:18] It's like, what do you mean it's all rice?

[01:01:19] No, it's not.

[01:01:20] Seriously.

[01:01:21] One of the books I've read there's so someone's like,

[01:01:25] thinks that one of their colleagues is a vampire.

[01:01:28] And in this particular world they're like science based vampires

[01:01:33] so garlic doesn't affect them.

[01:01:34] But this person...

[01:01:35] Yeah, science based.

[01:01:36] That's what vampires are.

[01:01:37] That will make sense.

[01:01:38] I understood everything you just said.

[01:01:40] I can explain the...

[01:01:41] Nope.

[01:01:42] Okay.

[01:01:43] But so this person, this colleague is trying to prove it.

[01:01:46] So they keep bringing them in soup

[01:01:48] but it's just pureed hot garlic

[01:01:51] and someone else tries it and they're like...

[01:01:53] No!

[01:01:54] No!

[01:01:55] Because you can make that noise.

[01:01:58] That's not true.

[01:01:59] I told my mum this morning that we were recording your own Dracula

[01:02:04] and she just sent me a message now.

[01:02:06] Let me read it.

[01:02:07] It says,

[01:02:08] amazing.

[01:02:09] I didn't have a crush on the dad one.

[01:02:12] Didn't she?

[01:02:13] Did she have a crush on her?

[01:02:14] Why is she saying that?

[01:02:15] Probably because she did have a crush on her dad one.

[01:02:17] Yeah.

[01:02:18] Which dad one?

[01:02:19] The dad one.

[01:02:20] The dad one.

[01:02:21] The dad one.

[01:02:22] Definitely the dad one.

[01:02:23] And the sexy dad one.

[01:02:24] There's three vampires, maybe you're following dad one

[01:02:27] and the insane dad one.

[01:02:29] I liked it when Ingrid was like trying to buy her boyfriend

[01:02:34] and Vlad pulls her away.

[01:02:36] And then her own dad comes up behind the same boyfriend.

[01:02:40] I have first claim on all you pray.

[01:02:43] He's not your pray, he's my boyfriend!

[01:02:45] It's my castle so I'll bite who I want to.

[01:02:49] It's giving bruh.

[01:02:51] It's giving...

[01:02:53] It's giving Bryan from my parents' reliance is what it's you.

[01:02:56] It's giving Bryan a normal dad episode.

[01:03:01] Also that means that those clothes were somewhere in that house.

[01:03:04] Yeah he has like normal put well, 70s kind of yeah it's a look that suits him.

[01:03:10] They came with them from Transylvania.

[01:03:12] Yeah.

[01:03:13] I mean imagine if they had made it with the family having Transylvanian accents.

[01:03:18] It's a good thing they didn't.

[01:03:20] Yeah.

[01:03:21] I mean it is a good thing they didn't.

[01:03:22] In the opening sequence Ingrid complains about having to speak this stupid language.

[01:03:28] So I don't know if that's them trying to explain away the weird accent.

[01:03:33] Discrepancy.

[01:03:35] Discrepancy.

[01:03:36] When the count is like being a vampire and going on to the streets trying to kill beautiful women

[01:03:44] and a woman just gets how a rape alarm is getting away.

[01:03:48] She stopped wetch.

[01:03:51] Good evening wetch.

[01:03:53] Creep.

[01:03:56] Creep.

[01:03:58] Because it's got super hairy that's fucking dream.

[01:04:01] It is.

[01:04:02] Yeah.

[01:04:03] The turning into a bad effect so not that bad.

[01:04:05] I mean series one there isn't so much of it.

[01:04:07] Series two there's quite a lot.

[01:04:08] Still better speed effects in the Twilight series.

[01:04:11] Yeah.

[01:04:12] I think the speed effects are really not that bad in the undratkiller.

[01:04:14] I think they're quite good.

[01:04:15] Are you going to tell us about the sexy vampire but she used to read still be read?

[01:04:19] I mean what would you like tonight?

[01:04:21] Um just um whatever is the most embarrassing thing you're willing to give away.

[01:04:27] We did say this would be your episode but I've not seen much embarrassment yet.

[01:04:34] I mean I don't know if I actually want to share this but the most embarrassing thing is that I have a tattoo from one of them.

[01:04:40] Which one is it an anise?

[01:04:42] No no no.

[01:04:43] I'm read any amrase actually.

[01:04:45] You shocked me Laura.

[01:04:48] I didn't know that actually.

[01:04:50] I'm from a vampire book.

[01:04:51] Yeah I don't tend to share it.

[01:04:53] What's the quote?

[01:04:54] Uh no.

[01:04:55] Please Laura.

[01:04:56] You should remember.

[01:04:58] You've seen it.

[01:04:59] I remember.

[01:05:00] Please.

[01:05:01] You are more than the sum of your parts.

[01:05:03] No no no no no no no no.

[01:05:05] It's not it!

[01:05:06] It's not it.

[01:05:07] I could have told you that.

[01:05:09] It's kind of like that I was.

[01:05:11] It's similar to that but yeah.

[01:05:13] Okay it's kind of similar to that.

[01:05:16] We fall in love for the way we fall asleep slowly and then all at once.

[01:05:23] You know it's actually a John Green quote.

[01:05:26] Yeah I know that's why I told everyone just now.

[01:05:29] I like it when they find Renfield notes and he's written

[01:05:33] Bride of Renfield and he's written like some fanfiction for himself.

[01:05:37] Should we play the fanfiction game?

[01:05:39] Else he may I say.

[01:05:41] Oh Wuger.

[01:05:43] Oh.

[01:05:45] It's not directed at me.

[01:05:47] Who else would it be?

[01:05:48] I write to that.

[01:05:49] Do you know what I call them?

[01:05:50] No.

[01:05:51] Garfunkel and oats.

[01:05:52] I didn't know.

[01:05:53] That's what they call it.

[01:05:55] Simon.

[01:05:56] So the fanfiction game is a game we play in our house.

[01:06:03] But if we're all into a new,

[01:06:05] if we're all talking about a piece of media,

[01:06:08] Laura usually will go on to.

[01:06:10] Sorry it's a game that Laura impresses upon us.

[01:06:13] Yes.

[01:06:14] I have never in my life asked to play this.

[01:06:17] But we have a great time.

[01:06:19] I do say it's like would you like to know if you don't?

[01:06:21] I will not tell you.

[01:06:22] Sometimes Laura says if you don't want this,

[01:06:25] then I will stop unless that thing is going to show me pictures of dogs

[01:06:28] and you say can you stop showing me pictures of dogs that would she say.

[01:06:31] I'm finished explaining.

[01:06:33] What the fanfiction game is.

[01:06:35] She's no on to archive my own and get all the statistics up.

[01:06:39] Like in this piece of media, what is the most common pairing and we have to guess?

[01:06:44] So young Dracula as you would expect does have enough fanfiction

[01:06:48] to have stats about this sort of thing.

[01:06:50] There's 184 total which is very few.

[01:06:55] Yeah, relatively that's not many.

[01:06:57] And they're probably a lot by the same people.

[01:07:00] Oh yeah I remember I saw like a bunch of the same person because they had this one tag

[01:07:04] that we found quite.

[01:07:07] You've been looking without me.

[01:07:09] Yeah.

[01:07:10] You literally just said that you hate this game.

[01:07:13] I didn't say hey.

[01:07:14] I didn't say hey.

[01:07:15] Sorry, you derided it.

[01:07:18] There's one tag called that was blanket permission that me and you found very blanket permission.

[01:07:23] What does that mean?

[01:07:24] That we found very.

[01:07:25] What do you think it means?

[01:07:26] It actually means that they are chill with people making pontifix out of it.

[01:07:31] Not anything to do with the story but content permission.

[01:07:34] Yeah, blanket permission just because we were like, oh.

[01:07:39] So yeah, did you want to guess the top?

[01:07:42] Yes.

[01:07:43] Top relationship at top Perry.

[01:07:45] Robin and Vlad.

[01:07:46] Yeah.

[01:07:47] Really?

[01:07:48] You don't know what you thought it would be.

[01:07:51] I mean so.

[01:07:52] Well I was kind of expecting it to be one of the latest season ones.

[01:07:57] I remember there's that episode when they bring Redfield's dad back to life.

[01:08:00] At the end of it he's like, let's just make ourselves girlfriends next time and I actually laughed out loud like yeah girlfriends okay.

[01:08:06] Yeah.

[01:08:07] Even if they made them fool themselves, they wouldn't have them.

[01:08:13] Then okay, the next one I'm guessing is Vlad again.

[01:08:17] Yeah.

[01:08:18] And who else is there?

[01:08:22] I think this is the dark ear person.

[01:08:25] Oh, I remember.

[01:08:26] Probably.

[01:08:27] No, that's number three.

[01:08:29] Oh, I don't know.

[01:08:31] Bertrand?

[01:08:32] Oh Bertrand, the light.

[01:08:35] Okay, do fourth.

[01:08:37] I will know what that is next time we record.

[01:08:40] I don't know what that means.

[01:08:42] Four two, four two next time.

[01:08:44] Four two next time.

[01:08:45] Yeah, he's a character.

[01:08:47] Four is actually an aunt.

[01:08:50] It's an Amber said which of you don't know what that means, which is fair enough.

[01:08:53] It means like non-romantic.

[01:08:55] Robin.

[01:08:56] I didn't know that.

[01:08:57] Okay.

[01:08:58] So it's like dad and Amber said son it's a it's a botonic relationship.

[01:09:03] Slash.

[01:09:04] Non-plotonic.

[01:09:05] Yes, yes okay.

[01:09:06] Is Ingrid any of these?

[01:09:07] Ingrid and Wilson.

[01:09:08] Yes, so next is Ingrid and Will.

[01:09:10] Okay.

[01:09:11] And then this makes sense.

[01:09:14] So next.

[01:09:16] Next one.

[01:09:17] First appearance of an adult.

[01:09:20] Dracula, yeah.

[01:09:21] So he appears what in number five?

[01:09:24] Sit.

[01:09:25] Sit.

[01:09:26] Yes, sit.

[01:09:27] No, but I do think that.

[01:09:29] No you won't get this.

[01:09:30] Glad.

[01:09:31] No.

[01:09:32] I don't think you're.

[01:09:34] I don't think you're.

[01:09:35] Renfield.

[01:09:36] No, I don't think you're getting.

[01:09:37] Van Helsing.

[01:09:38] No.

[01:09:39] I don't think you'll get a grand high vampire.

[01:09:43] Boris.

[01:09:44] Original female character.

[01:09:46] No original female character.

[01:09:49] So a self-insert basically.

[01:09:52] Kind of.

[01:09:53] So it's like there's no one present enough for people to write about so they're like I'm going to do it myself.

[01:09:58] Okay.

[01:09:59] Next.

[01:10:00] You see how it gets boring very quickly?

[01:10:05] Yeah, it does because there's only four of the next.

[01:10:09] Ingrid.

[01:10:10] Yeah.

[01:10:11] And Will.

[01:10:12] No.

[01:10:13] Is it a woman?

[01:10:14] Yes.

[01:10:15] Yes.

[01:10:16] The other woman that I can name.

[01:10:18] And then you'll never get this one.

[01:10:21] I can't.

[01:10:22] Robin and Bertrand.

[01:10:23] What?

[01:10:24] They're not even in the same season.

[01:10:25] There is together.

[01:10:26] They do not have any screen time.

[01:10:28] Yeah.

[01:10:29] And then if you are the person that wrote this,

[01:10:32] love you to get into.

[01:10:33] It's very true.

[01:10:34] Yeah.

[01:10:35] There's only four of them and I would, I'm pretty safe but it's probably all the same person.

[01:10:40] Okay.

[01:10:41] Last two.

[01:10:42] Okay.

[01:10:43] Yeah.

[01:10:44] Chloe.

[01:10:45] No.

[01:10:46] She's gone.

[01:10:47] Okay.

[01:10:48] This is an mm Perry.

[01:10:51] The count.

[01:10:52] What's the name of the twins?

[01:10:54] No.

[01:10:55] Flat.

[01:10:56] No.

[01:10:57] Robin.

[01:10:58] Yes.

[01:10:59] Robin is in so many.

[01:11:01] Yes.

[01:11:02] Oh.

[01:11:03] And then you're not very good at this game.

[01:11:05] You've probably just Robin.

[01:11:06] It's so many of them.

[01:11:07] I'm shocked.

[01:11:08] Well, he's one of the characters.

[01:11:10] I also think he's probably a character that the people that...

[01:11:13] Not in no way is this meant to be a derisome.

[01:11:15] The people that would write these probably most identify with Robin.

[01:11:19] Yeah, okay.

[01:11:20] This is not what I'm talking about.

[01:11:21] I don't know what to write.

[01:11:22] She says.

[01:11:23] She writes it.

[01:11:24] The last one is an Amber's End.

[01:11:29] Flat.

[01:11:30] And Jono.

[01:11:31] No.

[01:11:32] Dracula.

[01:11:33] No.

[01:11:34] Robin.

[01:11:35] No.

[01:11:36] No.

[01:11:37] We've had that.

[01:11:38] Ingrid.

[01:11:39] Yeah.

[01:11:40] Flat in ingrid.

[01:11:41] Yeah.

[01:11:42] I think it's a bit quicker if you want some points, mate.

[01:11:44] Additional tags.

[01:11:45] Vampires.

[01:11:46] Blanket permission.

[01:11:47] Character study.

[01:11:48] Blood drinking.

[01:11:49] Fluff.

[01:11:50] Anxed.

[01:11:51] One shot.

[01:11:52] Back story.

[01:11:53] Anel sex murder.

[01:11:54] Is that what I'm saying?

[01:11:55] No, that's too different tag.

[01:11:56] It's just a game very...

[01:11:57] Anel sex murder.

[01:11:58] Anel sex murder.

[01:11:59] I accidentally zoomed out on Laura's phone and she's got lots of fun.

[01:12:03] Which is a game.

[01:12:04] I'm sorry.

[01:12:05] I'm sorry.

[01:12:06] I'm sorry.

[01:12:07] I'm sorry.

[01:12:08] I'm sorry.

[01:12:09] I'm sorry.

[01:12:10] I love that alone.

[01:12:11] I love it.

[01:12:12] I love it.

[01:12:13] Do you think it's really cute when Zultan is wheeling himself about?

[01:12:19] I love it.

[01:12:20] I love it.

[01:12:21] Do you think it's really cute when Zultan is wheeling himself about.

[01:12:25] Yeah.

[01:12:26] Okay, yeah, yeah.

[01:12:27] I love it.

[01:12:28] Do you think the only one with a remotely accurate accent?

[01:12:33] That's my...

[01:12:35] Remove.

[01:12:37] That's right.

[01:12:38] But mostly, like, yeah, no, he's just not British in any way, that's it.

[01:12:43] Bloody.

[01:12:44] It's a morning you shall stay home from school and entertain me.

[01:12:47] Invite your footage for him so far.

[01:12:49] You can play murder in the dark.

[01:12:51] For the last time, no.

[01:12:53] If you need entertaining, get a TV.

[01:12:57] You want me to stare at a glass box all day?

[01:12:59] I'd rather be dead.

[01:13:01] And I am.

[01:13:05] And I love it.

[01:13:06] If we get to do evil stuff, I'll stay home with you.

[01:13:09] Then it's settled.

[01:13:10] I shall buy a television.

[01:13:12] You go barter with the peasants for their finest television.

[01:13:15] I like the high junks that Dracula and his brother got up to.

[01:13:19] I thought that was actually kind of cute.

[01:13:21] Yeah, the blood-free brother.

[01:13:23] I tried everything to cut down patches, hypnotherapy, nothing worked.

[01:13:27] Then I met a bunch of new age werewolves.

[01:13:31] Why is this always have to be werewolves?

[01:13:34] Vegan.

[01:13:35] In the iPhone.

[01:13:36] In the iPhone.

[01:13:37] In the iPhone.

[01:13:38] Yeah.

[01:13:39] His name's Ivan Laura.

[01:13:41] I don't think so.

[01:13:42] But also, I said to Elsie, he was like,

[01:13:44] does vampire physiology change enough for them

[01:13:47] to drink 75 humans in a night?

[01:13:49] Because if not, they can only hold about a litre and a half.

[01:13:51] What you're doing is actually just murdering them

[01:13:54] and leaving their blood on the floor because you're full.

[01:13:56] You're full.

[01:13:58] How hot!

[01:14:00] You can piss.

[01:14:02] If you drank a two gallons of water.

[01:14:06] Yeah, I'm not a vampire they may.

[01:14:09] This is my question.

[01:14:10] Do they have human physiology?

[01:14:11] What do their organs look like?

[01:14:13] If I were to eat it!

[01:14:15] Vampire shit would be so bad.

[01:14:18] Oh, they only consume liquid.

[01:14:21] They can't eat food though.

[01:14:24] Yeah, but they've got a lot of protein in that liquid.

[01:14:27] There's one of the vampire books.

[01:14:31] They don't have the enzymes to eat human foods.

[01:14:33] If they even get close to eating it,

[01:14:35] they just...

[01:14:36] Like immediately vomit.

[01:14:38] The same episode where Van Helsing gets possessed

[01:14:41] by the life force of the count.

[01:14:43] Ranfield gets knocked on the head and turns French.

[01:14:47] Oh, sit, Kovala, back on the cap, Boutti!

[01:14:50] Oi!

[01:14:51] I'm the French peasant.

[01:14:53] You're supposed to be the French aristocrat.

[01:14:55] Can't the agency get anything right?

[01:14:57] I don't think so.

[01:14:58] Come on, let's get you into cost, Junior.

[01:15:00] We need...

[01:15:01] It's so strange because the subtitles are coming out

[01:15:05] a sort of clip heart.

[01:15:07] It's so funny.

[01:15:08] It's so strange, really.

[01:15:10] Oh, I was like...

[01:15:11] In this weird sort of...

[01:15:13] um...

[01:15:14] serif font.

[01:15:16] It's not even subtitled along the bottom.

[01:15:18] It's really trippy.

[01:15:20] It makes me out of his mouth.

[01:15:21] It makes me think of the dream episode in Buffy,

[01:15:24] where everything was filmed in this really...

[01:15:27] Yeah.

[01:15:28] The French angle, like, lurid...

[01:15:31] like, dream-like way.

[01:15:33] It's very, very strange.

[01:15:34] Really wish that there was a musical episode

[01:15:36] because I think that Ingrid would have the best musical

[01:15:41] moments, because, you know, she got feelings.

[01:15:44] Yeah, she does.

[01:15:46] She has a lot to sing about.

[01:15:48] So she'll be able to sing something to sing about.

[01:15:51] I need something to sing about.

[01:15:55] I love that this show precursors Twilight.

[01:15:59] I think the show's like...

[01:16:01] It's before so many things.

[01:16:03] Baby British, what we do in the shadows.

[01:16:06] Yeah.

[01:16:07] It's so along that line but the kids.

[01:16:09] Bring it back.

[01:16:10] Bring it back.

[01:16:11] Have some of Colab with what we do in the shadows.

[01:16:14] All the shatters.

[01:16:15] Small please.

[01:16:16] Matt Berry would be such a good inclusion in Young Dracula.

[01:16:19] I'm really happy we did this episode.

[01:16:21] I've had the best time over the last few weeks catching up.

[01:16:25] I didn't realise how much I'd forgotten and then instantly

[01:16:29] remembered as soon as it was in front of me again.

[01:16:32] I just spent the last maybe three weeks non-stop thinking about

[01:16:36] your Dracula.

[01:16:37] I've got the theme song stuck in my head now.

[01:16:39] Great music.

[01:16:40] I wish it was longer.

[01:16:42] Oh, one more thing.

[01:16:43] It's directed by Joss Agnew, who has directed a lot of...

[01:16:48] A lot of things hang on.

[01:16:51] So he's directed...

[01:16:53] Wizards vs. Aliens, Sarah Jane, Outlander,

[01:16:56] The Split, Mrs. Selfridge, Poldart.

[01:16:58] Outlander.

[01:16:59] Yeah.

[01:17:00] No.

[01:17:01] He's really quite a big children's drama director

[01:17:05] and I guess men named Joss love to direct.

[01:17:09] Vampire TV shows.

[01:17:11] Agnew is actually like a vampire reference.

[01:17:14] Well in the credits, the first editor who comes up

[01:17:17] is called Christian Blood.

[01:17:19] We need to pun in every place as fucking possible.

[01:17:22] I think it's real name.

[01:17:23] No, no, yeah.

[01:17:24] We need to find an editor that's a pun.

[01:17:26] Yeah.

[01:17:27] So yeah, I have really enjoyed this and I honestly cannot wait

[01:17:32] to start...

[01:17:33] I'm really curious to start watching the later ones.

[01:17:37] So we'll be back next week.

[01:17:39] Well, to do three, four and five.

[01:17:42] It's going to be a big one.

[01:17:44] It's going to be a longer wait for you guys but we're here next week.

[01:17:46] So the finale when Vlad mind wipes all his friends

[01:17:51] it's really sad just to save his family who kind of hate him.

[01:17:55] The worst line of dialogue I've ever heard is when the ghost

[01:18:00] of the previous Grand Hyde vampire says,

[01:18:03] you will know you are the chosen one when you give up the life

[01:18:07] you love to save the family you love.

[01:18:10] Like that wasn't seeded earlier.

[01:18:12] It's just an awful line of dialogue but it had to be said.

[01:18:16] A brief question about that.

[01:18:17] Yeah.

[01:18:18] Renfield's a human and Renfield has seen stumbling away

[01:18:20] from the castle with no memory in the room.

[01:18:22] Yeah, I love that.

[01:18:23] Yes, yes because it's beginning of this is why he's...

[01:18:26] They've had to reboot Renfield at the beginning.

[01:18:29] Sorry, he's spoils for Series 3.

[01:18:31] He forget...

[01:18:32] He's got the memory of a goldfish.

[01:18:34] He forgets like every two minutes.

[01:18:37] He brings him regular breakfast and they have to remind him

[01:18:40] that that's what he wanted.

[01:18:41] No, he wanted disgusting bugs.

[01:18:42] Yes and yet if it had ended after Series 2 I love the idea of him

[01:18:47] just rebuilding a whole new life.

[01:18:50] Welcome to the vampire health line.

[01:18:53] If you are losing your fans they won.

[01:18:55] If you can't stand the sight of love, say too.

[01:18:58] If you are unable to achieve hypnosis they say...

[01:19:01] Three.

[01:19:02] Had this ever happened before?

[01:19:03] No.

[01:19:04] Are you feeling stress?

[01:19:05] No.

[01:19:06] It's a pre-daren question attractive.

[01:19:08] Well sort of but I don't see how that's relevant.

[01:19:11] I'm sorry, I did not understand your answer.

[01:19:14] Is the breather in question attractive?

[01:19:16] Yes.

[01:19:17] Does a lighting flicker in their presence?

[01:19:19] Yes.

[01:19:20] Do you're in love with a breather?

[01:19:23] What?

[01:19:24] I am not in love with a breather!

[01:19:26] Can I just apologise for being so...

[01:19:32] Disgustingly obsessed with Keith Lee Castle in the set of soda.

[01:19:37] I hope he sees that.

[01:19:39] I am embarrassed, but I could...

[01:19:41] No, I would love to get this in front of his face.

[01:19:44] I could not do this episode without talking about it.

[01:19:47] I would go.

[01:19:48] Right.

[01:19:49] Oh when he boops, Vlad on the nose.

[01:19:53] I'm going to parents' evening tomorrow and that is final.

[01:19:57] It's all bless him.

[01:20:02] Yeah that's what she was doing.

[01:20:03] What is like a normal...

[01:20:04] Oh yeah.

[01:20:06] Yeah that's what you were doing.

[01:20:08] You can find us on Twitter, ads, thoughts underscore TV.

[01:20:14] You can find us on Instagram at thoughtstv.0 or TikTok at thoughtstvpod.

[01:20:20] And you can email us at thoughtstv2002.gmail.com or our discord it was linked on all the socials.

[01:20:27] And we have a Patreon now as well.

[01:20:29] I would urge you to give money because LCO is the DWP money.

[01:20:34] I do.

[01:20:35] Well finance is the government, it's a good time.

[01:20:37] So thanks everyone for listening but I've had a great time.

[01:20:40] I've had a great time today.

[01:20:41] Laura got nails done yesterday and she's driving me insane with them.

[01:20:48] Carfin shaped?

[01:20:49] Do you want to do your...

[01:20:51] Goodbye.

[01:20:52] Goodbye.

[01:20:53] Bye.

[01:21:34] That's Amazon.com.