Chortle Combat: Live at Edinburgh Fringe

[00:00:00] Welcome to Chortle Combat. One, two, three...

[00:00:02] All in the ring!

[00:00:04] Be part of Chortle Combat Live.

[00:00:06] What's that shot? Yeah, another sexy crowd.

[00:00:08] Join Daymo and the Ginger Ninja at the Bedford-Pub in Ballon

[00:00:12] on October 20th as part of the cheerful, earful podcast festival.

[00:00:17] Have you had a good time tonight?

[00:00:19] Grab a pint, pick a side and may the best team win.

[00:00:22] You've given us no extra information.

[00:00:24] I'd give it ten minutes.

[00:00:26] Book free tickets now.

[00:00:27] I'd recommend it to anyone.

[00:00:28] Click the link in our profile, all right?

[00:00:36] Chortle Combat was recorded in front of a room full of adults

[00:00:39] at the Edinburgh Fringe.

[00:00:41] Listener discretion is advised.

[00:00:44] Hello, everyone!

[00:00:48] And welcome to Wrestling With the Champ Live,

[00:00:50] presenting Chortle Combat! Yes!

[00:00:58] Give us a cheer if this is your first show at this year's Edinburgh Fringe.

[00:01:02] First show.

[00:01:03] Yes, love it.

[00:01:04] Can you also do your homework?

[00:01:05] Can I be real pain in the ass and I'll...

[00:01:08] OK, we've only got half an hour.

[00:01:11] Give us a cheer if it's your second show.

[00:01:13] Yeah!

[00:01:13] Very nice third, fourth or fifth show.

[00:01:15] Yeah!

[00:01:16] Six or more.

[00:01:18] Yeah!

[00:01:19] Hardcore. What the hell is that?

[00:01:21] Your first man.

[00:01:22] Oh, I love it. Blow me.

[00:01:24] That is really nice.

[00:01:27] Oh, thank you.

[00:01:28] Anyone else going through the menopause?

[00:01:30] LAUGHTER

[00:01:32] How did you get in?

[00:01:33] There is...

[00:01:35] I have a backup!

[00:01:36] A towel. Oh, for the sweat.

[00:01:39] This is no longer a show about wrestling.

[00:01:42] It's loose women live.

[00:01:46] I'm going to take this off in a second

[00:01:48] because it's really sweaty.

[00:01:51] We're going to do five rounds of fast-paced, fight-based fun.

[00:01:55] The winner will be one of you guys, ultimately,

[00:01:58] and you will win a signed copy of our brand-new book.

[00:02:03] Woo!

[00:02:05] That I forgot to bring.

[00:02:06] So what we'll do is sign a copy of the PPH Free Fringe book

[00:02:09] and then we'll post you the actual book.

[00:02:12] That's just an admin fail on my behalf.

[00:02:14] Let's meet a couple of you first before we do this.

[00:02:16] A.D. and Rexham, where are you? A.D.

[00:02:18] Yes, everybody say hi, A.D.

[00:02:20] A.D.

[00:02:22] The favourite wrestler as the ultimate warrior.

[00:02:24] Brilliant. Good choice, classic.

[00:02:26] WrestleMania 6 was good.

[00:02:28] Write down something you would likely say in the wrestling ring

[00:02:31] and in a bedroom, let battle come in!

[00:02:34] So what we're going to do, five rounds of fight-based fun.

[00:02:36] I'm going to be scoring points in my head as we go

[00:02:39] and then I'll add the scores at the end

[00:02:41] and then we'll get to choose one of you to win the prize.

[00:02:44] I need to turn you into a wrestling crowd really quickly.

[00:02:46] So after three, I need a hell yeah.

[00:02:48] One, two, three.

[00:02:50] Yes, good, great. Second row.

[00:02:52] After three, I need a hell no. One, two, three.

[00:02:54] Hell no!

[00:02:55] After three, I need a holy shit. One, two, three.

[00:02:58] Holy shit!

[00:02:59] Great, really good. Strong.

[00:03:01] Eddie and Refringe Energy today. We're going to do this best show ever.

[00:03:04] Please get ready to welcome

[00:03:06] the 35-time Pub Wrestling Federation champion.

[00:03:09] The only man who have ever poked three women at once

[00:03:12] in a Kierpokanto

[00:03:14] to earn himself the nickname, the Mick Hucknell of wrestling.

[00:03:18] And he's here for you, the Rochdale line,

[00:03:20] the Lancashire lieutenant, the bloke who likes to smoke,

[00:03:22] the fighter who forgot his lighter,

[00:03:25] and occasionally the ape who likes a vape.

[00:03:27] Please go wild and crazy for the ginger ninja!

[00:03:31] Ginger ninja!

[00:03:37] Ginger ninja!

[00:03:38] Ginger ninja!

[00:03:39] Ginger ninja!

[00:03:41] Huckery!

[00:03:42] Huckery ninja!

[00:03:44] Ginger ninja!

[00:03:45] Huckery ninja!

[00:03:48] Huckery ninja!

[00:03:52] Too many instructions going on there.

[00:03:55] The money is here.

[00:03:56] Welcome to Chorfall Combat.

[00:03:58] You are the 35-time champion of the Pub Wrestling Federation,

[00:04:01] but for those that don't know everyone

[00:04:03] about the Pub Wrestling Federation, why don't you tell them?

[00:04:06] Oh well, Pub Wrestling Federation

[00:04:07] is one of the premium wrestling brands we all know,

[00:04:10] don't we? Liars.

[00:04:13] Alright, so you've got

[00:04:15] WWE, yeah?

[00:04:17] You've got AEW,

[00:04:19] you've got Pro Japan Wrestling,

[00:04:20] Olympics,

[00:04:22] Prison,

[00:04:25] and then Pub Wrestling Federation

[00:04:26] of which I am the champion.

[00:04:29] Yes, I've won it all, ladies and gentlemen!

[00:04:32] Now,

[00:04:33] correct me if I'm wrong, champ,

[00:04:34] but I heard you screaming out something earlier

[00:04:37] in the green room.

[00:04:38] I'm sure it's your brand new catchphrase.

[00:04:40] Can you tell us about that?

[00:04:41] Yeah, I came up with that in the green room,

[00:04:43] also known as the ladies toilets.

[00:04:46] So, apologies in advance.

[00:04:49] New catchphrase is,

[00:04:51] I'd give it ten minutes.

[00:04:54] You've been warned.

[00:04:56] He does travel with his own bog brush,

[00:04:58] just to be safe.

[00:05:00] And you're facing a very special opponent tonight.

[00:05:03] You've never faced off against this man before.

[00:05:06] Are you worried?

[00:05:07] Am I worried about him?

[00:05:09] Am I worried about him?

[00:05:10] The only person that should be worried is him,

[00:05:12] because he's currently getting changed

[00:05:14] in the ladies toilets.

[00:05:17] Great finishing move.

[00:05:18] Right, I want you to go wild for this next guy.

[00:05:20] He is a comedian performing at the Edinburgh Fringe,

[00:05:23] so you get an extra comedian for your money today.

[00:05:26] Please go wild and crazy for the Dark Destroyer.

[00:05:29] It's Drew Sturz!

[00:06:00] Drew, welcome to the show.

[00:06:03] Tell us about your outfit.

[00:06:06] This is just my regular going out clothes,

[00:06:08] to be honest.

[00:06:09] I thought I'd make an effort

[00:06:10] and swooned the first row.

[00:06:16] They aren't melting already.

[00:06:18] Can you describe for us the state of the ladies bogs?

[00:06:21] Impicably clean.

[00:06:23] Well, they were when I went in.

[00:06:24] Not so much anymore.

[00:06:26] And you're facing off against this man,

[00:06:28] the Ginger Ninja, Nigel Franklin himself.

[00:06:31] How are you feeling?

[00:06:31] Ginger Ninja.

[00:06:33] Aren't ninjas meant to be stealthy?

[00:06:34] Who the fuck is he sneaking up on?

[00:06:36] Helen Keller.

[00:06:37] Jesus Christ.

[00:06:39] What will happen to her?

[00:06:43] Good.

[00:06:44] Right.

[00:06:44] That was round one.

[00:06:45] That was the walk of fame.

[00:06:46] Hang on.

[00:06:49] Ladies and gentlemen, I'd offer to do this,

[00:06:51] but I'd like to make this match a little bit more interesting.

[00:06:55] Rather than just winning here at the Fringe,

[00:06:58] I'd like to put my belt on the line

[00:06:59] for this ladies and gentlemen.

[00:07:02] And not only that,

[00:07:06] why don't you say

[00:07:09] what's under that hat?

[00:07:11] Let's have a little look.

[00:07:12] What you got under the hat.

[00:07:13] Give us a little look.

[00:07:15] Let's see what's there.

[00:07:16] Oh, ladies and gentlemen, what do you say

[00:07:19] we make this a hair versus

[00:07:22] hair match?

[00:07:24] Loser loses the hair.

[00:07:28] Oh, you want to go down there?

[00:07:29] You want to go down that road?

[00:07:30] Yeah, baby.

[00:07:31] Oh, bring it.

[00:07:33] I brought it.

[00:07:34] All hair.

[00:07:36] All hair.

[00:07:37] All hair the king of

[00:07:41] holy shit.

[00:07:42] Holy shit.

[00:07:43] Holy shit.

[00:07:44] This is wild. What are we doing?

[00:07:47] Let's move straight on to round number two.

[00:07:51] Round four.

[00:07:52] Right, okay.

[00:07:53] Still got to work on that.

[00:07:55] Round number two is signature moves.

[00:07:57] Our contestants are going to get straight on to wrestling

[00:07:59] for insurance purposes.

[00:08:01] They're not really allowed to wrestle anyone

[00:08:03] that isn't here already.

[00:08:05] So please, big round of applause

[00:08:07] for the balloon sisters.

[00:08:10] Yeah.

[00:08:12] Belinda and

[00:08:13] Beryl.

[00:08:14] Very nice.

[00:08:16] So I'm going to give them 30 seconds to do as many wrestling moves on their

[00:08:19] opponents as possible.

[00:08:21] Points for creativity.

[00:08:22] You lose points for bursting the balloon,

[00:08:24] but you must give it absolutely everything.

[00:08:26] So big cheer as we go.

[00:08:28] 30 seconds. Here we go. Let's start.

[00:08:31] Headlock.

[00:08:32] Give us a headlock first. Headlock.

[00:08:39] Not

[00:08:40] not giving headlock. Just

[00:08:42] just headlock. Okay, fine.

[00:08:44] I'm going to need full Nelson.

[00:08:46] Full Nelson. You do full Nelson on that?

[00:08:57] Okay. I'm going to need

[00:08:58] a pile driver.

[00:09:00] We've never done a pile driver before.

[00:09:02] Nothing to do with piles.

[00:09:03] Although, okay.

[00:09:05] Oh, very good.

[00:09:07] Okay, Drew is confused.

[00:09:11] Right, bear hug. Big bear hug as

[00:09:13] tight as you can go. Tight as you can go.

[00:09:20] Sensual from Drew the Dark Destroyer.

[00:09:23] Beautiful.

[00:09:25] And the champ again. I'm not quite sure what's going on.

[00:09:27] Anyone got any other wrestling moves for me to finish?

[00:09:30] The shout out wrestling move.

[00:09:31] The swan song.

[00:09:33] Whatever that is, do it.

[00:09:35] Nice.

[00:09:37] Beautiful. Really nice. This is exactly the right word.

[00:09:39] And even when he tries to pop the balloon,

[00:09:43] he cannot pop the balloon.

[00:09:45] Right, that was round two signature moves.

[00:09:47] Round of applause for round two.

[00:09:48] Okay. Right now some points there.

[00:09:52] I think there's a very clear winner for that.

[00:09:54] Right, we're going to go on to round three.

[00:09:56] Round two.

[00:09:57] Right.

[00:09:58] Okay.

[00:10:00] Oh, if only it was a joke.

[00:10:03] Right, round three is tag team top trumps.

[00:10:05] You're familiar with the classic,

[00:10:06] possibly childhood game top trumps in the

[00:10:09] turn based game where you look at things

[00:10:11] like cars and

[00:10:13] carrot wrestlers and babes and stuff like that

[00:10:15] and you give them points.

[00:10:17] So I come up with celebrities, paired them up head to head

[00:10:19] and now they're going to face off.

[00:10:20] It basically celebrity top trumps.

[00:10:23] Okay, so Drew the destroyer, they're yours.

[00:10:25] The champ, they're yours and you get to go first.

[00:10:29] So please read out your first celebrity

[00:10:31] and your score.

[00:10:33] Right, I'm going for

[00:10:35] Kirsty and Phil

[00:10:37] from location, location, location.

[00:10:40] What a tag team of twats that is.

[00:10:46] Tell you what, right, I'm going straight in there.

[00:10:49] I'm going straight in there.

[00:10:51] I'm gonna pick them

[00:10:52] against whoever you've got on that

[00:10:54] in the category of

[00:10:57] twat ability.

[00:11:02] I'm saying,

[00:11:04] Kirsty and Phil have a twat ability ratio

[00:11:06] of 92.

[00:11:12] You play a good game.

[00:11:14] You play a good game but I think I've got you got.

[00:11:17] I think I've got you got because I have a pairing

[00:11:20] on this card that I think

[00:11:22] can beat them on twat ability

[00:11:24] and I think this audience will agree

[00:11:27] when I tell them it is Boris Johnson

[00:11:29] and Donald Trump.

[00:11:31] With a twat ability

[00:11:32] scale of 100.

[00:11:38] I have a set of numbers like maximum score

[00:11:40] but it would probably go wrong.

[00:11:42] So points to Drew the destroyer.

[00:11:44] Next card please champ.

[00:11:45] I am going to go, oh

[00:11:47] and it's very specific this one.

[00:11:50] Ladies and gentlemen, our next tag team

[00:11:52] Batman

[00:11:53] and Robin, the 60s edition.

[00:11:59] Adam West.

[00:12:00] Anybody got that tattooed on their chest?

[00:12:02] No, okay.

[00:12:03] So I'm gonna go for

[00:12:06] sexual chemistry ladies and gentlemen.

[00:12:09] Sexual chemistry between Batman

[00:12:10] and Robin, think about it.

[00:12:12] It's all tights and hot pants.

[00:12:15] Little nipples.

[00:12:16] All silk clothing as well.

[00:12:18] It's gonna be high.

[00:12:19] And it is high ladies and gentlemen.

[00:12:21] So I'm gonna challenge whoever you've got

[00:12:23] on that 20 card

[00:12:24] to sexual chemistry

[00:12:26] of 80.

[00:12:28] Yeah.

[00:12:29] Oh, I don't know.

[00:12:33] This pairing here

[00:12:34] does have sexual chemistry of a different kind.

[00:12:37] One is tall.

[00:12:39] One is small.

[00:12:40] One likes it tidy.

[00:12:42] One looks like a dustbin.

[00:12:43] I've got R2D2 and C3PO.

[00:12:49] And somehow on these cards

[00:12:50] their sexual chemistry

[00:12:52] is only rated at 39.

[00:12:56] So that'll be

[00:12:59] a point for you champ.

[00:13:00] Well done. And last card is

[00:13:02] Oh, I'm pulling out the big hitters.

[00:13:05] They hit big

[00:13:07] but they walk small.

[00:13:08] It's Anton Dick!

[00:13:12] You're gonna like this one

[00:13:13] because I'm gonna take your lead

[00:13:15] and go for the category

[00:13:17] of Tory

[00:13:18] likelihood.

[00:13:20] Yeah.

[00:13:22] Now let's be honest.

[00:13:23] They advertise a fucking bank.

[00:13:27] Yeah.

[00:13:28] And I like their inside leg

[00:13:30] it's gonna be high.

[00:13:33] And it's pretty high ladies and gentlemen.

[00:13:35] It's 77 in your face!

[00:13:41] Two little boys from the northeast

[00:13:43] Tory likelihood, that's the one

[00:13:45] you went for.

[00:13:46] Duncan Meyay is a Kenny Seaman!

[00:13:50] If you got that

[00:13:51] joke you're over 40.

[00:13:52] I think

[00:13:55] you've picked poorly

[00:13:56] like a Nazi

[00:13:58] at the end of Indiana Jones.

[00:14:02] Because I have a pairing on my card

[00:14:05] whose Tory

[00:14:06] entitlement made them

[00:14:08] skip the queue at the Queens fucking

[00:14:10] funeral. I've got a fill

[00:14:12] and hauler with a Tory

[00:14:16] likelihood of 100!

[00:14:21] Well that gives us

[00:14:23] a very clear winner.

[00:14:24] Well done! Round number three

[00:14:27] on Tag Team Top Drumps, goes to

[00:14:28] Drew the Destroyer!

[00:14:30] Yes!

[00:14:32] I just collect those cards for tomorrow's show

[00:14:34] thank you so much.

[00:14:37] Right let's move on swiftly

[00:14:38] to round number four

[00:14:41] Round 4

[00:14:42] Still not getting it.

[00:14:45] Round number four is Guess

[00:14:46] Homania. So for those of you that are here at the start

[00:14:49] of the show, you had a little bit of homework

[00:14:51] on your seat and thank you for doing that.

[00:14:53] We want to find out a little bit more about the audience

[00:14:55] here for Chorl combat.

[00:14:56] Our contestants are going to work out which

[00:14:59] audience member owns that

[00:15:01] random fact.

[00:15:01] Hang on hang on, do you have to think for this round?

[00:15:05] Not so much.

[00:15:06] Well just don't say a sign I'm going to bring out a friend

[00:15:09] because we all know two heads are better

[00:15:11] than one.

[00:15:12] Okay

[00:15:19] Ladies and gentlemen

[00:15:20] everybody say

[00:15:21] Oh Sharon!

[00:15:33] They have a very close personal relationship

[00:15:36] she's quiet

[00:15:38] never gets fat

[00:15:41] they seem

[00:15:42] they seem very happy.

[00:15:43] So I've got some random facts in the bucket if I can ask all of you

[00:15:46] in the audience to stand up please

[00:15:49] Right, Cham over to you

[00:15:50] someone in the audience says

[00:15:51] I once served Sid Little

[00:15:53] and his sister Hot Dogs

[00:15:55] in Blackpool

[00:15:57] Who is it?

[00:15:59] I once served Sid Little

[00:16:00] and his sister Hot Dogs in Blackpool

[00:16:02] Alright, okay, what's that Sharon?

[00:16:04] Yeah, I know they're a sexy crowd

[00:16:05] Alright, well I'll tell you what

[00:16:07] let's thin the crowd right now

[00:16:10] if you came in late sit down

[00:16:12] because you never filled in a bit of paper

[00:16:16] Dave Grohl you're out of there

[00:16:19] Okay, so

[00:16:22] next question what was that

[00:16:23] Oh, good one

[00:16:25] If you

[00:16:27] would say that you live or grew up

[00:16:29] in the Blackpool area

[00:16:31] stay standing

[00:16:43] Okay

[00:16:44] What's that?

[00:16:46] Yeah, we got one question left

[00:16:49] Alright, what do you reckon?

[00:16:52] Okay

[00:16:53] Alright, so we're gonna say

[00:16:56] our final question

[00:16:57] Is it this guy?

[00:17:00] Are you Stephen from Warrington?

[00:17:04] No, right, please sit down

[00:17:10] Right to the tip

[00:17:11] Hang on, hang on

[00:17:13] How popular a destination?

[00:17:15] No, not very popular anymore

[00:17:17] Right, Stephen from Warrington please make yourself known to the room

[00:17:20] Stephen from Warrington

[00:17:23] Stephen I need the story

[00:17:24] quickly please over to you

[00:17:26] So in the 90s I worked at

[00:17:27] Blackpool Pleasure Beach

[00:17:29] and they were a little enlarge

[00:17:31] repair in there and he came with a sister

[00:17:33] and I said them hot dogs

[00:17:35] The story is exactly as you wrote it

[00:17:37] You've given us no extra information

[00:17:40] which is you appreciate

[00:17:41] that we're on a tight time scale, I love that

[00:17:43] Thank you

[00:17:44] Okay, everyone else other than Stephen

[00:17:46] back on their feet please

[00:17:47] Drew the Dark Destroyer

[00:17:51] someone in the audience says

[00:17:52] I have a birthmark on my leg

[00:17:55] I have a birthmark on my leg

[00:17:58] Okay, stay standing

[00:18:00] if you have legs

[00:18:05] Don't work hard, work smart

[00:18:07] Stay standing

[00:18:10] if you have at least

[00:18:13] one birthmark

[00:18:19] Stay standing

[00:18:20] if someone has ever

[00:18:23] pointed at part of your body

[00:18:24] and said what is that

[00:18:27] I don't think he wrote

[00:18:34] the card be, definitely has a weird dick

[00:18:38] Okay

[00:18:40] I think we're gonna go for a punt

[00:18:41] I think it's you

[00:18:45] No

[00:18:47] So you are not Michael from Lancaster

[00:18:53] I don't speak any other language

[00:18:55] Sorry

[00:19:00] Oh you're right

[00:19:02] Samantha from Milton Keynes

[00:19:04] Where are you?

[00:19:08] Show it

[00:19:14] Just whip that by bar

[00:19:16] Come on everybody

[00:19:23] It's on your leg

[00:19:24] All right there it is

[00:19:25] Very good

[00:19:28] Samantha write down

[00:19:29] something you would likely say in the restroom

[00:19:31] ring in the bedroom

[00:19:32] Flip me over

[00:19:35] Very good

[00:19:37] And Michael in Lancaster

[00:19:38] yours was I'm gonna choke you out

[00:19:40] you little weasel

[00:19:43] I can

[00:19:44] I can believe it

[00:19:46] So no point scored for that

[00:19:48] Right let's move on to round number five

[00:19:49] Round number five

[00:19:51] Round three

[00:19:52] Round number five

[00:19:56] Can the champ smell what you're cooking

[00:19:59] You're familiar with the famous rock catch phrase

[00:20:01] This is a bit of a play on words

[00:20:03] Can the champ smell what you're cooking

[00:20:05] This is an audience shouty-outy type round

[00:20:08] You'll shout out three random food dishes

[00:20:11] True the destroyer will have to act them out in the style of Mime

[00:20:15] And then the champ with his headphones on

[00:20:17] will have to guess what they are

[00:20:18] This is what he's listening to

[00:20:20] Prove there's music on there

[00:20:24] Nice

[00:20:34] Who's gonna tell him we've stopped

[00:20:40] It's like mum can I borrow your thong for the week

[00:20:42] and there it is

[00:20:44] Right so if you can audience shout out

[00:20:46] a food dish please

[00:20:52] PIEELLA

[00:20:58] PIEELLA

[00:20:58] PIEELLA

[00:21:09] Headphones off what was it

[00:21:11] PIEELLA

[00:21:12] Very good

[00:21:13] Point for the champ unbelievable

[00:21:15] Maybe it was that Spanish influence we had

[00:21:18] Right another dish please move from this side of the room

[00:21:21] Say again

[00:21:23] Lasagna

[00:21:24] Lasagna okay maybe like it's in layers

[00:21:27] Or it's a bit creamy I don't know

[00:21:28] Off you go

[00:21:29] Number two lasagna

[00:21:38] A garlic break

[00:21:47] No no no

[00:21:48] Any help any help

[00:21:51] No no any help

[00:21:53] Any actions that he should be doing

[00:21:54] Anything that would make it

[00:21:55] Right no no no no

[00:21:57] No no no

[00:22:00] No close so keep going

[00:22:02] Lasagna

[00:22:03] Wait wait wait

[00:22:05] What was it everyone

[00:22:07] Lasagna

[00:22:10] Okay right now

[00:22:11] I think we need to make this a bit trickier

[00:22:13] Someone give me a very specific dish

[00:22:16] Creme brûlée

[00:22:17] Creme brûlée

[00:22:19] Oh fuck you

[00:22:22] Fuck you okay

[00:22:24] Creme brûlée Drew do your best

[00:22:26] Good luck

[00:22:27] Here we go crème brûlée

[00:22:33] Ice cream someday

[00:22:41] No no no

[00:22:44] Yeah blow torch blow torch is good blow torch

[00:22:47] Blow torch yeah

[00:22:51] Any help any other help any other help

[00:22:53] You I mean you came up with it

[00:22:56] Fuego

[00:22:57] Oh I like it I like it

[00:22:58] I like it

[00:23:01] Toad in the hole no

[00:23:05] I don't think he's gonna get this

[00:23:07] It's hard

[00:23:07] It's hard

[00:23:09] It's the longest it gets hard

[00:23:13] Creme brûlée

[00:23:14] Hang on hang on hang on

[00:23:16] Take your headphones off

[00:23:17] What was it everyone

[00:23:20] Creme brûlée

[00:23:21] Creme brûlée

[00:23:24] It's got the whole thing on the top

[00:23:26] That's like a lasagna

[00:23:28] You should come and see how I make it

[00:23:30] Creme brûlée

[00:23:31] The dessert that gets hard

[00:23:33] That's all that I heard

[00:23:34] We're going with that

[00:23:35] We're gonna move on to our final round now

[00:23:38] This is round number six

[00:23:39] Hopefully

[00:23:40] Round six

[00:23:43] Round number six is called trash talk

[00:23:45] This is our final round for our contestants

[00:23:48] To go head to head

[00:23:49] We're gonna do a roast battle rap battle style

[00:23:52] Kind of like Eminem, 8 Mile

[00:23:54] True to form we're real good wrestlers

[00:23:57] Are good on the microphone right

[00:23:58] These two are gonna go head to head nose to nose

[00:24:00] Bell end to bell end

[00:24:01] Slag each other off as much as they can

[00:24:03] And we'll find out who wins

[00:24:05] Chor's Hall of Combat or maybe we just booked them a room

[00:24:08] I don't know

[00:24:11] It is a bromance

[00:24:12] My heart

[00:24:15] Belly to belly

[00:24:16] Yeah strong

[00:24:17] Strong

[00:24:19] Right so champ you get to go first

[00:24:20] Here is your microphone

[00:24:22] Okay

[00:24:24] Drop me a six sick beat DJ

[00:24:29] Oh yeah

[00:24:31] Okay

[00:24:35] Let's start this rap with a quick introduction

[00:24:37] And the big dick he's just a suction

[00:24:43] His name is Drew the past sense of draw

[00:24:46] Yeah

[00:24:47] Whatever happens are gonna beat your ass raw

[00:24:53] You may as well change your name to

[00:24:55] Right or Roe

[00:24:58] Stupid little scrope

[00:25:02] I'm gonna make you bleed like your fountain

[00:25:04] Cause I'm John Wayne

[00:25:05] He's broke back mountain

[00:25:10] Let's be honest

[00:25:11] He dresses real shitty

[00:25:12] He's only here cause his mom's dead pretty

[00:25:14] Oh

[00:25:17] Bitch

[00:25:17] Very nice give it up for the ginger ninja

[00:25:21] Was it holy shit worth

[00:25:23] If it was give me a holy shit

[00:25:24] No no not really

[00:25:26] No okay good

[00:25:28] Drew

[00:25:30] It is all on you my friend Drew the destroyer

[00:25:32] For a chance to go into the final

[00:25:34] And give one audience member

[00:25:36] A signed copy of the PBH free fringe cause they left our book at home

[00:25:40] Over to you my friend

[00:25:41] Do you want me to hold it or do you want your

[00:25:42] I can stick your ass

[00:25:43] Okay good I'm just checking

[00:25:45] Take that and drop me a beat

[00:25:47] Here we go

[00:25:51] Yo

[00:25:54] The champ here

[00:25:54] He looks aggressive and loud the only thing I know

[00:25:57] His parents ain't proud

[00:26:02] Okay we'll step up

[00:26:05] He's kinda famous got clips on the

[00:26:07] You Tube's you think that he's crazy

[00:26:09] You should check out his pubes

[00:26:16] Actually

[00:26:17] He's kinda loving and tender

[00:26:19] He looks like if Hagrid was transgender

[00:26:28] He never has a frown

[00:26:30] He just looks like Bob Ross

[00:26:32] Going down

[00:26:37] I'll leave it there

[00:26:41] Very nice Drew the dark destroyer

[00:26:44] With some controversial material

[00:26:47] Very good

[00:26:48] Edit that out of the video

[00:26:51] Right have you had a good time tonight

[00:26:55] Good I'm gonna add up the scores

[00:26:56] And we'll see what happens in the final

[00:26:58] Let me just check

[00:26:58] I'll tell you what happens in the final

[00:27:01] Okay

[00:27:04] Right scores are in

[00:27:05] Scores are in

[00:27:06] Can I get drumroll please

[00:27:09] Here we go

[00:27:15] And in second place

[00:27:16] The ginger ninja

[00:27:18] It means Drew the dark destroyer is the winner

[00:27:25] It was

[00:27:26] Very close until the rap battle

[00:27:28] Round where I think you did

[00:27:29] Superb so listen congratulations

[00:27:32] Before you follow him back there

[00:27:34] You need to choose one lucky audience member

[00:27:36] Who you would like to give the prize to

[00:27:37] So who do you think

[00:27:38] Put your hand up if you'd like to receive a signed copy of our book

[00:27:41] Later in the post but immediately the flyer

[00:27:43] Okay one two three

[00:27:45] Really commit to it though if you want to

[00:27:48] Yeah that is a no

[00:27:50] It can't be half pregnant

[00:27:52] I think someone who was bullied into showing some other anatomy deserves a prize

[00:27:57] All right so sound from Milton Keynes

[00:28:00] The prize can be yours

[00:28:02] Yes if he wins

[00:28:04] The final round

[00:28:06] Now the final round

[00:28:08] Is a game called can I hit it

[00:28:10] Drew the dark destroyer

[00:28:12] Will have 30 seconds

[00:28:14] Oh here he comes

[00:28:15] Oh my god

[00:28:26] Drew will have 30 seconds

[00:28:28] To complete this task

[00:28:31] I'm not quite sure what's going on now

[00:28:35] Champs gonna balance a can on his head right

[00:28:37] Nice and simple let's see him do it

[00:28:42] All you have to do Drew is

[00:28:43] Knock it off using my

[00:28:46] Tiny balls

[00:28:48] And if you can do that

[00:28:50] Once then the prize goes to Sam at the back

[00:28:53] So come a stand over here please

[00:28:54] If you don't mind bit of distance

[00:28:56] You've got those balls and the length

[00:28:58] Of the balls I theme tune to do it

[00:29:00] Your time will start

[00:29:02] Hang on ready steady

[00:29:06] Final round

[00:29:07] Go

[00:29:09] Oh

[00:29:18] Hey

[00:29:21] Keep going

[00:29:33] Up

[00:29:33] No

[00:29:36] Hang on take those two

[00:29:37] Try those two

[00:29:39] Come on here we go two left

[00:29:42] No

[00:29:45] I'm so sorry

[00:29:46] Hey try this take a big swing

[00:29:48] Take a big swing here we go

[00:29:49] Here we go

[00:29:50] Yeah

[00:29:51] The destroyer wins Chorso combat and Sam wins her

[00:29:57] Signed prize excellent

[00:29:58] Brilliant well done

[00:30:01] Right be gone with you

[00:30:05] And give over your belt

[00:30:06] To our brand new pub wrestling

[00:30:09] Federation champion for a photo opportunity

[00:30:11] Drew the destroyer

[00:30:14] I can't I can't believe it look at that

[00:30:24] Be off with you

[00:30:25] Away you go

[00:30:27] Drew congratulations on winning

[00:30:29] Chorso combat round applause for Drew

[00:30:31] Stan

[00:30:32] Find him on the Instagram

[00:30:34] And see all the funny stuff he does

[00:30:36] We need the belt back at the end of the show

[00:30:39] Thank you for coming and enjoy the rest

[00:30:41] Of your fringe good night

[00:30:47] This recording featured Damien

[00:30:49] St John and McGinley

[00:30:51] And Drew

[00:30:52] It was recorded by blue

[00:30:54] Smoke comedy for pedometer

[00:30:55] All rights reserved all right

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