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[00:00:00] Welcome to Chortle Combat. One, two, three...
[00:00:02] All in the ring!
[00:00:04] Be part of Chortle Combat Live.
[00:00:06] What's that shot? Yeah, another sexy crowd.
[00:00:08] Join Daymo and the Ginger Ninja at the Bedford-Pub in Ballon
[00:00:12] on October 20th as part of the cheerful, earful podcast festival.
[00:00:17] Have you had a good time tonight?
[00:00:19] Grab a pint, pick a side and may the best team win.
[00:00:22] You've given us no extra information.
[00:00:24] I'd give it ten minutes.
[00:00:26] Book free tickets now.
[00:00:27] I'd recommend it to anyone.
[00:00:28] Click the link in our profile, all right?
[00:00:36] Chortle Combat was recorded in front of a room full of adults
[00:00:39] at the Edinburgh Fringe.
[00:00:41] Listener discretion is advised.
[00:00:44] Hello, everyone!
[00:00:48] And welcome to Wrestling With the Champ Live,
[00:00:50] presenting Chortle Combat! Yes!
[00:00:58] Give us a cheer if this is your first show at this year's Edinburgh Fringe.
[00:01:02] First show.
[00:01:03] Yes, love it.
[00:01:04] Can you also do your homework?
[00:01:05] Can I be real pain in the ass and I'll...
[00:01:08] OK, we've only got half an hour.
[00:01:11] Give us a cheer if it's your second show.
[00:01:13] Yeah!
[00:01:13] Very nice third, fourth or fifth show.
[00:01:15] Yeah!
[00:01:16] Six or more.
[00:01:18] Yeah!
[00:01:19] Hardcore. What the hell is that?
[00:01:21] Your first man.
[00:01:22] Oh, I love it. Blow me.
[00:01:24] That is really nice.
[00:01:27] Oh, thank you.
[00:01:28] Anyone else going through the menopause?
[00:01:30] LAUGHTER
[00:01:32] How did you get in?
[00:01:33] There is...
[00:01:35] I have a backup!
[00:01:36] A towel. Oh, for the sweat.
[00:01:39] This is no longer a show about wrestling.
[00:01:42] It's loose women live.
[00:01:46] I'm going to take this off in a second
[00:01:48] because it's really sweaty.
[00:01:51] We're going to do five rounds of fast-paced, fight-based fun.
[00:01:55] The winner will be one of you guys, ultimately,
[00:01:58] and you will win a signed copy of our brand-new book.
[00:02:03] Woo!
[00:02:05] That I forgot to bring.
[00:02:06] So what we'll do is sign a copy of the PPH Free Fringe book
[00:02:09] and then we'll post you the actual book.
[00:02:12] That's just an admin fail on my behalf.
[00:02:14] Let's meet a couple of you first before we do this.
[00:02:16] A.D. and Rexham, where are you? A.D.
[00:02:18] Yes, everybody say hi, A.D.
[00:02:20] A.D.
[00:02:22] The favourite wrestler as the ultimate warrior.
[00:02:24] Brilliant. Good choice, classic.
[00:02:26] WrestleMania 6 was good.
[00:02:28] Write down something you would likely say in the wrestling ring
[00:02:31] and in a bedroom, let battle come in!
[00:02:34] So what we're going to do, five rounds of fight-based fun.
[00:02:36] I'm going to be scoring points in my head as we go
[00:02:39] and then I'll add the scores at the end
[00:02:41] and then we'll get to choose one of you to win the prize.
[00:02:44] I need to turn you into a wrestling crowd really quickly.
[00:02:46] So after three, I need a hell yeah.
[00:02:48] One, two, three.
[00:02:50] Yes, good, great. Second row.
[00:02:52] After three, I need a hell no. One, two, three.
[00:02:54] Hell no!
[00:02:55] After three, I need a holy shit. One, two, three.
[00:02:58] Holy shit!
[00:02:59] Great, really good. Strong.
[00:03:01] Eddie and Refringe Energy today. We're going to do this best show ever.
[00:03:04] Please get ready to welcome
[00:03:06] the 35-time Pub Wrestling Federation champion.
[00:03:09] The only man who have ever poked three women at once
[00:03:12] in a Kierpokanto
[00:03:14] to earn himself the nickname, the Mick Hucknell of wrestling.
[00:03:18] And he's here for you, the Rochdale line,
[00:03:20] the Lancashire lieutenant, the bloke who likes to smoke,
[00:03:22] the fighter who forgot his lighter,
[00:03:25] and occasionally the ape who likes a vape.
[00:03:27] Please go wild and crazy for the ginger ninja!
[00:03:31] Ginger ninja!
[00:03:37] Ginger ninja!
[00:03:38] Ginger ninja!
[00:03:39] Ginger ninja!
[00:03:41] Huckery!
[00:03:42] Huckery ninja!
[00:03:44] Ginger ninja!
[00:03:45] Huckery ninja!
[00:03:48] Huckery ninja!
[00:03:52] Too many instructions going on there.
[00:03:55] The money is here.
[00:03:56] Welcome to Chorfall Combat.
[00:03:58] You are the 35-time champion of the Pub Wrestling Federation,
[00:04:01] but for those that don't know everyone
[00:04:03] about the Pub Wrestling Federation, why don't you tell them?
[00:04:06] Oh well, Pub Wrestling Federation
[00:04:07] is one of the premium wrestling brands we all know,
[00:04:10] don't we? Liars.
[00:04:13] Alright, so you've got
[00:04:15] WWE, yeah?
[00:04:17] You've got AEW,
[00:04:19] you've got Pro Japan Wrestling,
[00:04:20] Olympics,
[00:04:22] Prison,
[00:04:25] and then Pub Wrestling Federation
[00:04:26] of which I am the champion.
[00:04:29] Yes, I've won it all, ladies and gentlemen!
[00:04:32] Now,
[00:04:33] correct me if I'm wrong, champ,
[00:04:34] but I heard you screaming out something earlier
[00:04:37] in the green room.
[00:04:38] I'm sure it's your brand new catchphrase.
[00:04:40] Can you tell us about that?
[00:04:41] Yeah, I came up with that in the green room,
[00:04:43] also known as the ladies toilets.
[00:04:46] So, apologies in advance.
[00:04:49] New catchphrase is,
[00:04:51] I'd give it ten minutes.
[00:04:54] You've been warned.
[00:04:56] He does travel with his own bog brush,
[00:04:58] just to be safe.
[00:05:00] And you're facing a very special opponent tonight.
[00:05:03] You've never faced off against this man before.
[00:05:06] Are you worried?
[00:05:07] Am I worried about him?
[00:05:09] Am I worried about him?
[00:05:10] The only person that should be worried is him,
[00:05:12] because he's currently getting changed
[00:05:14] in the ladies toilets.
[00:05:17] Great finishing move.
[00:05:18] Right, I want you to go wild for this next guy.
[00:05:20] He is a comedian performing at the Edinburgh Fringe,
[00:05:23] so you get an extra comedian for your money today.
[00:05:26] Please go wild and crazy for the Dark Destroyer.
[00:05:29] It's Drew Sturz!
[00:06:00] Drew, welcome to the show.
[00:06:03] Tell us about your outfit.
[00:06:06] This is just my regular going out clothes,
[00:06:08] to be honest.
[00:06:09] I thought I'd make an effort
[00:06:10] and swooned the first row.
[00:06:16] They aren't melting already.
[00:06:18] Can you describe for us the state of the ladies bogs?
[00:06:21] Impicably clean.
[00:06:23] Well, they were when I went in.
[00:06:24] Not so much anymore.
[00:06:26] And you're facing off against this man,
[00:06:28] the Ginger Ninja, Nigel Franklin himself.
[00:06:31] How are you feeling?
[00:06:31] Ginger Ninja.
[00:06:33] Aren't ninjas meant to be stealthy?
[00:06:34] Who the fuck is he sneaking up on?
[00:06:36] Helen Keller.
[00:06:37] Jesus Christ.
[00:06:39] What will happen to her?
[00:06:43] Good.
[00:06:44] Right.
[00:06:44] That was round one.
[00:06:45] That was the walk of fame.
[00:06:46] Hang on.
[00:06:49] Ladies and gentlemen, I'd offer to do this,
[00:06:51] but I'd like to make this match a little bit more interesting.
[00:06:55] Rather than just winning here at the Fringe,
[00:06:58] I'd like to put my belt on the line
[00:06:59] for this ladies and gentlemen.
[00:07:02] And not only that,
[00:07:06] why don't you say
[00:07:09] what's under that hat?
[00:07:11] Let's have a little look.
[00:07:12] What you got under the hat.
[00:07:13] Give us a little look.
[00:07:15] Let's see what's there.
[00:07:16] Oh, ladies and gentlemen, what do you say
[00:07:19] we make this a hair versus
[00:07:22] hair match?
[00:07:24] Loser loses the hair.
[00:07:28] Oh, you want to go down there?
[00:07:29] You want to go down that road?
[00:07:30] Yeah, baby.
[00:07:31] Oh, bring it.
[00:07:33] I brought it.
[00:07:34] All hair.
[00:07:36] All hair.
[00:07:37] All hair the king of
[00:07:41] holy shit.
[00:07:42] Holy shit.
[00:07:43] Holy shit.
[00:07:44] This is wild. What are we doing?
[00:07:47] Let's move straight on to round number two.
[00:07:51] Round four.
[00:07:52] Right, okay.
[00:07:53] Still got to work on that.
[00:07:55] Round number two is signature moves.
[00:07:57] Our contestants are going to get straight on to wrestling
[00:07:59] for insurance purposes.
[00:08:01] They're not really allowed to wrestle anyone
[00:08:03] that isn't here already.
[00:08:05] So please, big round of applause
[00:08:07] for the balloon sisters.
[00:08:10] Yeah.
[00:08:12] Belinda and
[00:08:13] Beryl.
[00:08:14] Very nice.
[00:08:16] So I'm going to give them 30 seconds to do as many wrestling moves on their
[00:08:19] opponents as possible.
[00:08:21] Points for creativity.
[00:08:22] You lose points for bursting the balloon,
[00:08:24] but you must give it absolutely everything.
[00:08:26] So big cheer as we go.
[00:08:28] 30 seconds. Here we go. Let's start.
[00:08:31] Headlock.
[00:08:32] Give us a headlock first. Headlock.
[00:08:39] Not
[00:08:40] not giving headlock. Just
[00:08:42] just headlock. Okay, fine.
[00:08:44] I'm going to need full Nelson.
[00:08:46] Full Nelson. You do full Nelson on that?
[00:08:57] Okay. I'm going to need
[00:08:58] a pile driver.
[00:09:00] We've never done a pile driver before.
[00:09:02] Nothing to do with piles.
[00:09:03] Although, okay.
[00:09:05] Oh, very good.
[00:09:07] Okay, Drew is confused.
[00:09:11] Right, bear hug. Big bear hug as
[00:09:13] tight as you can go. Tight as you can go.
[00:09:20] Sensual from Drew the Dark Destroyer.
[00:09:23] Beautiful.
[00:09:25] And the champ again. I'm not quite sure what's going on.
[00:09:27] Anyone got any other wrestling moves for me to finish?
[00:09:30] The shout out wrestling move.
[00:09:31] The swan song.
[00:09:33] Whatever that is, do it.
[00:09:35] Nice.
[00:09:37] Beautiful. Really nice. This is exactly the right word.
[00:09:39] And even when he tries to pop the balloon,
[00:09:43] he cannot pop the balloon.
[00:09:45] Right, that was round two signature moves.
[00:09:47] Round of applause for round two.
[00:09:48] Okay. Right now some points there.
[00:09:52] I think there's a very clear winner for that.
[00:09:54] Right, we're going to go on to round three.
[00:09:56] Round two.
[00:09:57] Right.
[00:09:58] Okay.
[00:10:00] Oh, if only it was a joke.
[00:10:03] Right, round three is tag team top trumps.
[00:10:05] You're familiar with the classic,
[00:10:06] possibly childhood game top trumps in the
[00:10:09] turn based game where you look at things
[00:10:11] like cars and
[00:10:13] carrot wrestlers and babes and stuff like that
[00:10:15] and you give them points.
[00:10:17] So I come up with celebrities, paired them up head to head
[00:10:19] and now they're going to face off.
[00:10:20] It basically celebrity top trumps.
[00:10:23] Okay, so Drew the destroyer, they're yours.
[00:10:25] The champ, they're yours and you get to go first.
[00:10:29] So please read out your first celebrity
[00:10:31] and your score.
[00:10:33] Right, I'm going for
[00:10:35] Kirsty and Phil
[00:10:37] from location, location, location.
[00:10:40] What a tag team of twats that is.
[00:10:46] Tell you what, right, I'm going straight in there.
[00:10:49] I'm going straight in there.
[00:10:51] I'm gonna pick them
[00:10:52] against whoever you've got on that
[00:10:54] in the category of
[00:10:57] twat ability.
[00:11:02] I'm saying,
[00:11:04] Kirsty and Phil have a twat ability ratio
[00:11:06] of 92.
[00:11:12] You play a good game.
[00:11:14] You play a good game but I think I've got you got.
[00:11:17] I think I've got you got because I have a pairing
[00:11:20] on this card that I think
[00:11:22] can beat them on twat ability
[00:11:24] and I think this audience will agree
[00:11:27] when I tell them it is Boris Johnson
[00:11:29] and Donald Trump.
[00:11:31] With a twat ability
[00:11:32] scale of 100.
[00:11:38] I have a set of numbers like maximum score
[00:11:40] but it would probably go wrong.
[00:11:42] So points to Drew the destroyer.
[00:11:44] Next card please champ.
[00:11:45] I am going to go, oh
[00:11:47] and it's very specific this one.
[00:11:50] Ladies and gentlemen, our next tag team
[00:11:52] Batman
[00:11:53] and Robin, the 60s edition.
[00:11:59] Adam West.
[00:12:00] Anybody got that tattooed on their chest?
[00:12:02] No, okay.
[00:12:03] So I'm gonna go for
[00:12:06] sexual chemistry ladies and gentlemen.
[00:12:09] Sexual chemistry between Batman
[00:12:10] and Robin, think about it.
[00:12:12] It's all tights and hot pants.
[00:12:15] Little nipples.
[00:12:16] All silk clothing as well.
[00:12:18] It's gonna be high.
[00:12:19] And it is high ladies and gentlemen.
[00:12:21] So I'm gonna challenge whoever you've got
[00:12:23] on that 20 card
[00:12:24] to sexual chemistry
[00:12:26] of 80.
[00:12:28] Yeah.
[00:12:29] Oh, I don't know.
[00:12:33] This pairing here
[00:12:34] does have sexual chemistry of a different kind.
[00:12:37] One is tall.
[00:12:39] One is small.
[00:12:40] One likes it tidy.
[00:12:42] One looks like a dustbin.
[00:12:43] I've got R2D2 and C3PO.
[00:12:49] And somehow on these cards
[00:12:50] their sexual chemistry
[00:12:52] is only rated at 39.
[00:12:56] So that'll be
[00:12:59] a point for you champ.
[00:13:00] Well done. And last card is
[00:13:02] Oh, I'm pulling out the big hitters.
[00:13:05] They hit big
[00:13:07] but they walk small.
[00:13:08] It's Anton Dick!
[00:13:12] You're gonna like this one
[00:13:13] because I'm gonna take your lead
[00:13:15] and go for the category
[00:13:17] of Tory
[00:13:18] likelihood.
[00:13:20] Yeah.
[00:13:22] Now let's be honest.
[00:13:23] They advertise a fucking bank.
[00:13:27] Yeah.
[00:13:28] And I like their inside leg
[00:13:30] it's gonna be high.
[00:13:33] And it's pretty high ladies and gentlemen.
[00:13:35] It's 77 in your face!
[00:13:41] Two little boys from the northeast
[00:13:43] Tory likelihood, that's the one
[00:13:45] you went for.
[00:13:46] Duncan Meyay is a Kenny Seaman!
[00:13:50] If you got that
[00:13:51] joke you're over 40.
[00:13:52] I think
[00:13:55] you've picked poorly
[00:13:56] like a Nazi
[00:13:58] at the end of Indiana Jones.
[00:14:02] Because I have a pairing on my card
[00:14:05] whose Tory
[00:14:06] entitlement made them
[00:14:08] skip the queue at the Queens fucking
[00:14:10] funeral. I've got a fill
[00:14:12] and hauler with a Tory
[00:14:16] likelihood of 100!
[00:14:21] Well that gives us
[00:14:23] a very clear winner.
[00:14:24] Well done! Round number three
[00:14:27] on Tag Team Top Drumps, goes to
[00:14:28] Drew the Destroyer!
[00:14:30] Yes!
[00:14:32] I just collect those cards for tomorrow's show
[00:14:34] thank you so much.
[00:14:37] Right let's move on swiftly
[00:14:38] to round number four
[00:14:41] Round 4
[00:14:42] Still not getting it.
[00:14:45] Round number four is Guess
[00:14:46] Homania. So for those of you that are here at the start
[00:14:49] of the show, you had a little bit of homework
[00:14:51] on your seat and thank you for doing that.
[00:14:53] We want to find out a little bit more about the audience
[00:14:55] here for Chorl combat.
[00:14:56] Our contestants are going to work out which
[00:14:59] audience member owns that
[00:15:01] random fact.
[00:15:01] Hang on hang on, do you have to think for this round?
[00:15:05] Not so much.
[00:15:06] Well just don't say a sign I'm going to bring out a friend
[00:15:09] because we all know two heads are better
[00:15:11] than one.
[00:15:12] Okay
[00:15:19] Ladies and gentlemen
[00:15:20] everybody say
[00:15:21] Oh Sharon!
[00:15:33] They have a very close personal relationship
[00:15:36] she's quiet
[00:15:38] never gets fat
[00:15:41] they seem
[00:15:42] they seem very happy.
[00:15:43] So I've got some random facts in the bucket if I can ask all of you
[00:15:46] in the audience to stand up please
[00:15:49] Right, Cham over to you
[00:15:50] someone in the audience says
[00:15:51] I once served Sid Little
[00:15:53] and his sister Hot Dogs
[00:15:55] in Blackpool
[00:15:57] Who is it?
[00:15:59] I once served Sid Little
[00:16:00] and his sister Hot Dogs in Blackpool
[00:16:02] Alright, okay, what's that Sharon?
[00:16:04] Yeah, I know they're a sexy crowd
[00:16:05] Alright, well I'll tell you what
[00:16:07] let's thin the crowd right now
[00:16:10] if you came in late sit down
[00:16:12] because you never filled in a bit of paper
[00:16:16] Dave Grohl you're out of there
[00:16:19] Okay, so
[00:16:22] next question what was that
[00:16:23] Oh, good one
[00:16:25] If you
[00:16:27] would say that you live or grew up
[00:16:29] in the Blackpool area
[00:16:31] stay standing
[00:16:43] Okay
[00:16:44] What's that?
[00:16:46] Yeah, we got one question left
[00:16:49] Alright, what do you reckon?
[00:16:52] Okay
[00:16:53] Alright, so we're gonna say
[00:16:56] our final question
[00:16:57] Is it this guy?
[00:17:00] Are you Stephen from Warrington?
[00:17:04] No, right, please sit down
[00:17:10] Right to the tip
[00:17:11] Hang on, hang on
[00:17:13] How popular a destination?
[00:17:15] No, not very popular anymore
[00:17:17] Right, Stephen from Warrington please make yourself known to the room
[00:17:20] Stephen from Warrington
[00:17:23] Stephen I need the story
[00:17:24] quickly please over to you
[00:17:26] So in the 90s I worked at
[00:17:27] Blackpool Pleasure Beach
[00:17:29] and they were a little enlarge
[00:17:31] repair in there and he came with a sister
[00:17:33] and I said them hot dogs
[00:17:35] The story is exactly as you wrote it
[00:17:37] You've given us no extra information
[00:17:40] which is you appreciate
[00:17:41] that we're on a tight time scale, I love that
[00:17:43] Thank you
[00:17:44] Okay, everyone else other than Stephen
[00:17:46] back on their feet please
[00:17:47] Drew the Dark Destroyer
[00:17:51] someone in the audience says
[00:17:52] I have a birthmark on my leg
[00:17:55] I have a birthmark on my leg
[00:17:58] Okay, stay standing
[00:18:00] if you have legs
[00:18:05] Don't work hard, work smart
[00:18:07] Stay standing
[00:18:10] if you have at least
[00:18:13] one birthmark
[00:18:19] Stay standing
[00:18:20] if someone has ever
[00:18:23] pointed at part of your body
[00:18:24] and said what is that
[00:18:27] I don't think he wrote
[00:18:34] the card be, definitely has a weird dick
[00:18:38] Okay
[00:18:40] I think we're gonna go for a punt
[00:18:41] I think it's you
[00:18:45] No
[00:18:47] So you are not Michael from Lancaster
[00:18:53] I don't speak any other language
[00:18:55] Sorry
[00:19:00] Oh you're right
[00:19:02] Samantha from Milton Keynes
[00:19:04] Where are you?
[00:19:08] Show it
[00:19:14] Just whip that by bar
[00:19:16] Come on everybody
[00:19:23] It's on your leg
[00:19:24] All right there it is
[00:19:25] Very good
[00:19:28] Samantha write down
[00:19:29] something you would likely say in the restroom
[00:19:31] ring in the bedroom
[00:19:32] Flip me over
[00:19:35] Very good
[00:19:37] And Michael in Lancaster
[00:19:38] yours was I'm gonna choke you out
[00:19:40] you little weasel
[00:19:43] I can
[00:19:44] I can believe it
[00:19:46] So no point scored for that
[00:19:48] Right let's move on to round number five
[00:19:49] Round number five
[00:19:51] Round three
[00:19:52] Round number five
[00:19:56] Can the champ smell what you're cooking
[00:19:59] You're familiar with the famous rock catch phrase
[00:20:01] This is a bit of a play on words
[00:20:03] Can the champ smell what you're cooking
[00:20:05] This is an audience shouty-outy type round
[00:20:08] You'll shout out three random food dishes
[00:20:11] True the destroyer will have to act them out in the style of Mime
[00:20:15] And then the champ with his headphones on
[00:20:17] will have to guess what they are
[00:20:18] This is what he's listening to
[00:20:20] Prove there's music on there
[00:20:24] Nice
[00:20:34] Who's gonna tell him we've stopped
[00:20:40] It's like mum can I borrow your thong for the week
[00:20:42] and there it is
[00:20:44] Right so if you can audience shout out
[00:20:46] a food dish please
[00:20:52] PIEELLA
[00:20:58] PIEELLA
[00:20:58] PIEELLA
[00:21:09] Headphones off what was it
[00:21:11] PIEELLA
[00:21:12] Very good
[00:21:13] Point for the champ unbelievable
[00:21:15] Maybe it was that Spanish influence we had
[00:21:18] Right another dish please move from this side of the room
[00:21:21] Say again
[00:21:23] Lasagna
[00:21:24] Lasagna okay maybe like it's in layers
[00:21:27] Or it's a bit creamy I don't know
[00:21:28] Off you go
[00:21:29] Number two lasagna
[00:21:38] A garlic break
[00:21:47] No no no
[00:21:48] Any help any help
[00:21:51] No no any help
[00:21:53] Any actions that he should be doing
[00:21:54] Anything that would make it
[00:21:55] Right no no no no
[00:21:57] No no no
[00:22:00] No close so keep going
[00:22:02] Lasagna
[00:22:03] Wait wait wait
[00:22:05] What was it everyone
[00:22:07] Lasagna
[00:22:10] Okay right now
[00:22:11] I think we need to make this a bit trickier
[00:22:13] Someone give me a very specific dish
[00:22:16] Creme brûlée
[00:22:17] Creme brûlée
[00:22:19] Oh fuck you
[00:22:22] Fuck you okay
[00:22:24] Creme brûlée Drew do your best
[00:22:26] Good luck
[00:22:27] Here we go crème brûlée
[00:22:33] Ice cream someday
[00:22:41] No no no
[00:22:44] Yeah blow torch blow torch is good blow torch
[00:22:47] Blow torch yeah
[00:22:51] Any help any other help any other help
[00:22:53] You I mean you came up with it
[00:22:56] Fuego
[00:22:57] Oh I like it I like it
[00:22:58] I like it
[00:23:01] Toad in the hole no
[00:23:05] I don't think he's gonna get this
[00:23:07] It's hard
[00:23:07] It's hard
[00:23:09] It's the longest it gets hard
[00:23:13] Creme brûlée
[00:23:14] Hang on hang on hang on
[00:23:16] Take your headphones off
[00:23:17] What was it everyone
[00:23:20] Creme brûlée
[00:23:21] Creme brûlée
[00:23:24] It's got the whole thing on the top
[00:23:26] That's like a lasagna
[00:23:28] You should come and see how I make it
[00:23:30] Creme brûlée
[00:23:31] The dessert that gets hard
[00:23:33] That's all that I heard
[00:23:34] We're going with that
[00:23:35] We're gonna move on to our final round now
[00:23:38] This is round number six
[00:23:39] Hopefully
[00:23:40] Round six
[00:23:43] Round number six is called trash talk
[00:23:45] This is our final round for our contestants
[00:23:48] To go head to head
[00:23:49] We're gonna do a roast battle rap battle style
[00:23:52] Kind of like Eminem, 8 Mile
[00:23:54] True to form we're real good wrestlers
[00:23:57] Are good on the microphone right
[00:23:58] These two are gonna go head to head nose to nose
[00:24:00] Bell end to bell end
[00:24:01] Slag each other off as much as they can
[00:24:03] And we'll find out who wins
[00:24:05] Chor's Hall of Combat or maybe we just booked them a room
[00:24:08] I don't know
[00:24:11] It is a bromance
[00:24:12] My heart
[00:24:15] Belly to belly
[00:24:16] Yeah strong
[00:24:17] Strong
[00:24:19] Right so champ you get to go first
[00:24:20] Here is your microphone
[00:24:22] Okay
[00:24:24] Drop me a six sick beat DJ
[00:24:29] Oh yeah
[00:24:31] Okay
[00:24:35] Let's start this rap with a quick introduction
[00:24:37] And the big dick he's just a suction
[00:24:43] His name is Drew the past sense of draw
[00:24:46] Yeah
[00:24:47] Whatever happens are gonna beat your ass raw
[00:24:53] You may as well change your name to
[00:24:55] Right or Roe
[00:24:58] Stupid little scrope
[00:25:02] I'm gonna make you bleed like your fountain
[00:25:04] Cause I'm John Wayne
[00:25:05] He's broke back mountain
[00:25:10] Let's be honest
[00:25:11] He dresses real shitty
[00:25:12] He's only here cause his mom's dead pretty
[00:25:14] Oh
[00:25:17] Bitch
[00:25:17] Very nice give it up for the ginger ninja
[00:25:21] Was it holy shit worth
[00:25:23] If it was give me a holy shit
[00:25:24] No no not really
[00:25:26] No okay good
[00:25:28] Drew
[00:25:30] It is all on you my friend Drew the destroyer
[00:25:32] For a chance to go into the final
[00:25:34] And give one audience member
[00:25:36] A signed copy of the PBH free fringe cause they left our book at home
[00:25:40] Over to you my friend
[00:25:41] Do you want me to hold it or do you want your
[00:25:42] I can stick your ass
[00:25:43] Okay good I'm just checking
[00:25:45] Take that and drop me a beat
[00:25:47] Here we go
[00:25:51] Yo
[00:25:54] The champ here
[00:25:54] He looks aggressive and loud the only thing I know
[00:25:57] His parents ain't proud
[00:26:02] Okay we'll step up
[00:26:05] He's kinda famous got clips on the
[00:26:07] You Tube's you think that he's crazy
[00:26:09] You should check out his pubes
[00:26:16] Actually
[00:26:17] He's kinda loving and tender
[00:26:19] He looks like if Hagrid was transgender
[00:26:28] He never has a frown
[00:26:30] He just looks like Bob Ross
[00:26:32] Going down
[00:26:37] I'll leave it there
[00:26:41] Very nice Drew the dark destroyer
[00:26:44] With some controversial material
[00:26:47] Very good
[00:26:48] Edit that out of the video
[00:26:51] Right have you had a good time tonight
[00:26:55] Good I'm gonna add up the scores
[00:26:56] And we'll see what happens in the final
[00:26:58] Let me just check
[00:26:58] I'll tell you what happens in the final
[00:27:01] Okay
[00:27:04] Right scores are in
[00:27:05] Scores are in
[00:27:06] Can I get drumroll please
[00:27:09] Here we go
[00:27:15] And in second place
[00:27:16] The ginger ninja
[00:27:18] It means Drew the dark destroyer is the winner
[00:27:25] It was
[00:27:26] Very close until the rap battle
[00:27:28] Round where I think you did
[00:27:29] Superb so listen congratulations
[00:27:32] Before you follow him back there
[00:27:34] You need to choose one lucky audience member
[00:27:36] Who you would like to give the prize to
[00:27:37] So who do you think
[00:27:38] Put your hand up if you'd like to receive a signed copy of our book
[00:27:41] Later in the post but immediately the flyer
[00:27:43] Okay one two three
[00:27:45] Really commit to it though if you want to
[00:27:48] Yeah that is a no
[00:27:50] It can't be half pregnant
[00:27:52] I think someone who was bullied into showing some other anatomy deserves a prize
[00:27:57] All right so sound from Milton Keynes
[00:28:00] The prize can be yours
[00:28:02] Yes if he wins
[00:28:04] The final round
[00:28:06] Now the final round
[00:28:08] Is a game called can I hit it
[00:28:10] Drew the dark destroyer
[00:28:12] Will have 30 seconds
[00:28:14] Oh here he comes
[00:28:15] Oh my god
[00:28:26] Drew will have 30 seconds
[00:28:28] To complete this task
[00:28:31] I'm not quite sure what's going on now
[00:28:35] Champs gonna balance a can on his head right
[00:28:37] Nice and simple let's see him do it
[00:28:42] All you have to do Drew is
[00:28:43] Knock it off using my
[00:28:46] Tiny balls
[00:28:48] And if you can do that
[00:28:50] Once then the prize goes to Sam at the back
[00:28:53] So come a stand over here please
[00:28:54] If you don't mind bit of distance
[00:28:56] You've got those balls and the length
[00:28:58] Of the balls I theme tune to do it
[00:29:00] Your time will start
[00:29:02] Hang on ready steady
[00:29:06] Final round
[00:29:07] Go
[00:29:09] Oh
[00:29:18] Hey
[00:29:21] Keep going
[00:29:33] Up
[00:29:33] No
[00:29:36] Hang on take those two
[00:29:37] Try those two
[00:29:39] Come on here we go two left
[00:29:42] No
[00:29:45] I'm so sorry
[00:29:46] Hey try this take a big swing
[00:29:48] Take a big swing here we go
[00:29:49] Here we go
[00:29:50] Yeah
[00:29:51] The destroyer wins Chorso combat and Sam wins her
[00:29:57] Signed prize excellent
[00:29:58] Brilliant well done
[00:30:01] Right be gone with you
[00:30:05] And give over your belt
[00:30:06] To our brand new pub wrestling
[00:30:09] Federation champion for a photo opportunity
[00:30:11] Drew the destroyer
[00:30:14] I can't I can't believe it look at that
[00:30:24] Be off with you
[00:30:25] Away you go
[00:30:27] Drew congratulations on winning
[00:30:29] Chorso combat round applause for Drew
[00:30:31] Stan
[00:30:32] Find him on the Instagram
[00:30:34] And see all the funny stuff he does
[00:30:36] We need the belt back at the end of the show
[00:30:39] Thank you for coming and enjoy the rest
[00:30:41] Of your fringe good night
[00:30:47] This recording featured Damien
[00:30:49] St John and McGinley
[00:30:51] And Drew
[00:30:52] It was recorded by blue
[00:30:54] Smoke comedy for pedometer
[00:30:55] All rights reserved all right
[00:31:08] Can't you
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