Race to Edinburgh - Part Three

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_10]: Welcome to Chortle Combat. One, two, three...

[00:00:03] [SPEAKER_10]: Holy shit!

[00:00:04] [SPEAKER_05]: Be part of Chortle Combat Live.

[00:00:06] [SPEAKER_02]: What's that? Yeah, I know they're a sexy crowd.

[00:00:08] [SPEAKER_05]: Join Damo and the Ginger Ninja at the Bedford Pub in Ballum

[00:00:12] [SPEAKER_05]: on October 20th as part of the Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival.

[00:00:17] [SPEAKER_10]: Have you had a good time tonight?

[00:00:19] [SPEAKER_05]: Grab a pint, pick a side and may the best team win.

[00:00:22] [SPEAKER_10]: You've given us no extra information.

[00:00:24] [SPEAKER_05]: I'd give you ten minutes.

[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_05]: Book free tickets now.

[00:00:27] [SPEAKER_10]: I'd recommend it to anyone.

[00:00:28] [SPEAKER_05]: Click the link in our profile, all right?

[00:00:43] [SPEAKER_06]: Episode three.

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_06]: Damo sets out to earn some extra cash.

[00:00:50] [SPEAKER_10]: Well, I'm glad this is the final order of the day.

[00:00:53] [SPEAKER_10]: I've been slaving away all night in a boiling hot burger van.

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_10]: Everything from dinner and baps to lunch baps

[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_10]: and even breakfast baps.

[00:01:00] [SPEAKER_08]: Can I get a triple good booster, extra cheese,

[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_08]: Chunky Chips extra cheese,

[00:01:06] [SPEAKER_08]: Unmarked Cheese Bites extra cheese.

[00:01:07] [SPEAKER_08]: I'm not a nutritionist,

[00:01:09] [SPEAKER_10]: but you sound to me like a prime candidate for diabetes.

[00:01:14] [SPEAKER_10]: Mumbo jumbo.

[00:01:15] [SPEAKER_10]: Well, it's your funeral, that's what it is.

[00:01:18] [SPEAKER_10]: Anyway, I see you've got a St Andrews cross on your white van.

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_10]: I don't suppose there's any chance I can swap a list

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_10]: of plant-based cheese alternatives

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_10]: for a wee little lift across the border with you and your mates.

[00:01:31] [SPEAKER_10]: Is there?

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_06]: 8.23am.

[00:01:41] [SPEAKER_06]: The Champ is in the woods near the Scottish border.

[00:01:46] [SPEAKER_02]: I've skinned a dozen dead animals to make this outfit.

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like that bit in Empire, you know,

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_02]: where Anne Solor plunges his future brother-in-law

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_02]: inside the steaming-up belly of a Ton Ton.

[00:01:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Only this smells better.

[00:02:12] [SPEAKER_02]: The temperature drops.

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_02]: I can feel it.

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Must be getting closer to the north.

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Although technically Edinburgh's in south of Scotland.

[00:02:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Hey, I sounded so pedantic there.

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_02]: I thought I was a dame or...

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_02]: But I'm me.

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_02]: The Ginger Ninja.

[00:02:35] [SPEAKER_02]: The man who can help here alone.

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Wearing a furry tracksuit.

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Free to glide through rich flora and fauna of the north-east.

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Completely undetect...

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, fuck.

[00:02:47] [SPEAKER_03]: Ah!

[00:02:50] [SPEAKER_03]: Beat rap!

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_03]: Be like...

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_03]: We love wrestling, wrestling.

[00:02:56] Beautiful, fragile, and a fun driver.

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_03]: We love wrestling, wrestling.

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_03]: Not as much as we love him or her.

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_03]: Once I start to cheer, cheer.

[00:03:06] Looking cool and beating bad guys.

[00:03:08] [SPEAKER_03]: First class with the name.

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_05]: Wrestling with The Champ.

[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_11]: Everything hurts.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_11]: Like, this is insane.

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_11]: Ah!

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_03]: Me like...

[00:03:44] [SPEAKER_03]: Help.

[00:03:46] [SPEAKER_03]: Help.

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_03]: I need help.

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_02]: I need some help.

[00:03:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Ideally from a...

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_02]: From a single male who's got some experience working at the UK prison service.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_07]: You're a long way from home, boy.

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_02]: So are you!

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER_07]: These are my woods.

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_07]: You're trespassing.

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_02]: No trespass.

[00:04:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Just passing.

[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Look, I'm not a threat, please.

[00:04:25] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm bleeding quite a lot.

[00:04:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Can you let me out?

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_07]: First you have to answer some questions.

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, the red flannel shirt's a little cliché, but also comforting.

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_07]: Why are you wearing squirrel fur?

[00:04:39] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm disguised!

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_07]: You're about six foot tall.

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, the woods in Newcastle are fresh out of bears.

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_07]: Oh, I can get a bear.

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Did I say bear?

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I meant beer.

[00:04:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm a wrestler.

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_02]: A pub wrestling Federation champion.

[00:04:57] [SPEAKER_07]: I tell you what.

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_07]: If you wrestle my boy...

[00:05:04] [SPEAKER_07]: I'll let you go.

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_02]: And if I lose?

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_07]: Mr Brown here's gonna have himself one raw piece of meat for dinner.

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_07]: Now fight!

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_07]: Come on, boy, come get some!

[00:05:37] [SPEAKER_06]: 10am.

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_06]: Damo has secured a lift to Scotland from a van full of builders

[00:05:42] [SPEAKER_06]: who are bat shit crazy.

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_10]: Do you know, there's a bridge in Scotland that's always being painted.

[00:05:49] [SPEAKER_10]: Seriously!

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_10]: It's so big that when you finish it, they have to start again.

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_10]: Complete madness.

[00:05:59] Well...

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_10]: This isn't my first tough crowd, you know.

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_10]: Erm...

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_10]: Hello, it's nice to meet you.

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_08]: Pete. Big Pete.

[00:06:08] [SPEAKER_08]: How are they?

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_08]: Big John.

[00:06:10] [SPEAKER_08]: Big Steve.

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_08]: Big Dave.

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_10]: Yeah, medium Damian. That's me.

[00:06:14] [SPEAKER_10]: Sometimes skinny large, but rarely these days.

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_10]: Who's he at the back?

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_10]: Little Gary.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_10]: He looks like he doesn't like you.

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_10]: I'm shagging his ma like, you know.

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_10]: Ah, lovely.

[00:06:25] [SPEAKER_10]: Good times.

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_10]: Are you enjoying it?

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_10]: No, not massively, mate, no.

[00:06:29] [SPEAKER_10]: It was a question for little Gary, but good to know.

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_10]: And well done on your leg tattoos.

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_10]: Very nice.

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_10]: Yeah.

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_10]: Newcastle United.

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_10]: Wai-yai, up the magpies, pet.

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_10]: Who are you supposed to be like?

[00:06:43] [SPEAKER_10]: Oh, no, no, nobody. Nobody, nobody.

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_10]: Don't mind me. Just busy trying to fit in.

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_08]: Got any tats like?

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_08]: Tats? Me? Nah!

[00:06:53] [SPEAKER_08]: But you want to get one, didn't you?

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_10]: Well, it's funny you ask that.

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_10]: I mean, I think I do, but then I can't really make up my mind.

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_10]: You know, such a big commitment for life, isn't it?

[00:07:01] [SPEAKER_08]: Big Dave, get your gun, man.

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_08]: Gun?

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_08]: Like sons of anarchy.

[00:07:05] [SPEAKER_08]: Men who stink together.

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER_08]: Inked together.

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_10]: Well, I mean, look, I'm really grateful, lads,

[00:07:11] [SPEAKER_10]: but you know, you and me,

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_10]: I'm not sure we're meant to be blood brothers.

[00:07:15] [SPEAKER_10]: When you're in the van,

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_10]: you get inked by the man. Do you know what I'm saying?

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_10]: Oh, fucking hell.

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_10]: Next time we do Edinburgh,

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_10]: I'm taking my chances with a can of mace on the sleeper tray.

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_10]: Look, I don't want a tattoo!

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_07]: Get off!

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_07]: Welcome to Shark Burger. Can I take your order?

[00:07:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I'll have a double great white burger

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_00]: with Megalodon fries and a strawberry shrimp shake.

[00:07:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Ooh, and an underwater meal for the kid.

[00:07:39] [SPEAKER_00]: This dad is gonna need a bigger appetite.

[00:07:42] [SPEAKER_07]: Burp.

[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_07]: Ugh. Next window, please.

[00:07:46] [SPEAKER_01]: Go big or go home with the new summer menu from Shark Burger.

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_01]: Enjoy five fearsome flavors from the sea,

[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_01]: including succulent diver dippers and ice-cold iceberg slushies.

[00:07:55] [SPEAKER_01]: Shark Burger.

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_01]: Take a bigger bite.

[00:08:06] [SPEAKER_09]: The toughest ginge on the planet!

[00:08:10] [SPEAKER_09]: What? Wrestling with the champ.

[00:08:28] [SPEAKER_02]: I see him coming towards me.

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_02]: I think back to similar opponents.

[00:08:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Andrew the Giant,

[00:08:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Ari A. Stacks,

[00:08:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Pig Daddy,

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_02]: or Nozuna,

[00:08:38] [SPEAKER_02]: the chubby hubby.

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_02]: They were all bigger men,

[00:08:43] [SPEAKER_02]: but not better men.

[00:08:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Ha! If I take a running jump off that nearby tree

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_02]: and hit him with a flying elbow drop,

[00:08:50] [SPEAKER_02]: that should be enough to knock the big man off his feet

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_02]: and allow me to escape.

[00:08:59] [SPEAKER_03]: Good bunch of...

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_02]: What did you do that for?

[00:09:09] [SPEAKER_02]: That was my favorite shirt.

[00:09:11] [SPEAKER_02]: 100% pure squirrel.

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Now you got me mad.

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Activate red mode.

[00:09:22] GROWL

[00:09:24] OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[00:09:25] GROWL

[00:09:26] No!

[00:09:29] GROWL

[00:09:30] GROWL

[00:09:30] GROWL

[00:09:33] GROWL

[00:09:34] GROWL

[00:09:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Damn it.

[00:09:36] [SPEAKER_02]: If only I had some of that fast gin I used on Tyson's furry.

[00:09:41] [SPEAKER_02]: GROWL

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Think, champ, think.

[00:09:43] [SPEAKER_02]: No steel cage, no Spanish announcer table,

[00:09:47] [SPEAKER_02]: no sledgehammer.

[00:09:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Wait!

[00:09:48] [SPEAKER_02]: What if a raging bear can be charmed by the soothing sound of Peter Gabriel?

[00:09:54] [SPEAKER_11]: Ha-ha!

[00:09:57] [SPEAKER_11]: I was taught to fight, taught to win.

[00:10:01] [SPEAKER_11]: I never thought I could fail.

[00:10:07] [SPEAKER_11]: Don't give up...

[00:10:10] [SPEAKER_11]: cos you have friends.

[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_02]: GROWL

[00:10:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Are you supposed to run or stand still?

[00:10:32] [SPEAKER_03]: GROWL

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Look, mate, you don't want to eat me.

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm disappointing.

[00:10:38] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm a 50-year-old steak in the back of the fridge after an apocalypse.

[00:10:42] [SPEAKER_02]: You want a filet mignon,

[00:10:44] [SPEAKER_02]: but trust me, I'm a supermarket steak bake.

[00:10:50] GROWL

[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Come on! You're better than this.

[00:10:55] GROWL

[00:10:56] [SPEAKER_02]: See?

[00:10:58] [SPEAKER_02]: I even shit me pants.

[00:11:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Your guts will eat you at morning.

[00:11:07] GROWL

[00:11:11] HE SOBS

[00:11:13] [SPEAKER_02]: I am leaving my only possession, Joe Henry.

[00:11:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, Joe Henry!

[00:11:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Where's the hero when he needs the most?

[00:11:21] [SPEAKER_02]: If this is the end and the Chinese are listening,

[00:11:23] [SPEAKER_02]: put my real name on my tombstone.

[00:11:25] [SPEAKER_02]: It's not Nigel Franklin, it's...

[00:11:30] [SPEAKER_10]: SCREAMS

[00:11:30] [SPEAKER_10]: ...Gaymo?

[00:11:32] [SPEAKER_10]: Mad builders. Tattoo cult.

[00:11:34] [SPEAKER_10]: Very scary.

[00:11:36] [SPEAKER_10]: Giant bear. Born killer. Very hungry.

[00:11:39] [SPEAKER_10]: Oh, I've missed this.

[00:11:40] [SPEAKER_10]: Me too! Why does this keep happening to us?

[00:11:42] [SPEAKER_10]: Oh, shut up. You love the drama.

[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_10]: Here they come. Run!

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_02]: GROWL

[00:11:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Just like old times, eh?

[00:11:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I've had more near-death experiences with you

[00:11:54] [SPEAKER_02]: than I've had stand-up poos in dodgy pub toilets.

[00:11:57] [SPEAKER_10]: I think you may have just culled your last one.

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_10]: Hey!

[00:12:02] [SPEAKER_10]: WHISTLE

[00:12:03] [SPEAKER_10]: What do we do?

[00:12:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Gaymo, this is the end.

[00:12:15] [SPEAKER_09]: Who once a giant chopper...

[00:12:20] [SPEAKER_09]: You're bad.

[00:12:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Chopper!

[00:12:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Chopper?

[00:12:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Three-time PWF champion during gratitude era.

[00:12:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh.

[00:12:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Dead famous for riding his bikes at Ringway

[00:12:29] [SPEAKER_02]: before Taker made it cool.

[00:12:30] [SPEAKER_02]: I find that hard to believe.

[00:12:32] [SPEAKER_09]: Lee, brother. 97.

[00:12:34] [SPEAKER_09]: I won the PWF title

[00:12:37] [SPEAKER_09]: at Davenport Service Station, Cadbach.

[00:12:42] [SPEAKER_09]: Mmm. And that does seem plausible.

[00:12:43] [SPEAKER_09]: What are you doing here?

[00:12:45] [SPEAKER_10]: Shaving the day with my messles.

[00:12:48] [SPEAKER_10]: You cultivate an alpha male aura

[00:12:50] [SPEAKER_10]: by implying your knob's as big as your...

[00:12:52] [SPEAKER_10]: Triumph!

[00:12:53] [SPEAKER_10]: Yeah, I got it. Thanks.

[00:12:54] [SPEAKER_10]: Wow. She's a beauty.

[00:12:56] [SPEAKER_10]: But she's still got her L plates on.

[00:12:59] [SPEAKER_10]: 125cc of pure...

[00:13:01] [SPEAKER_10]: Throbbin.

[00:13:02] [SPEAKER_10]: Alpha loser.

[00:13:04] [SPEAKER_10]: Shut up and climb on.

[00:13:05] [SPEAKER_10]: There's no way we're gonna both fit on that.

[00:13:08] [SPEAKER_10]: Get behind me. Beatle up the spoon.

[00:13:11] [SPEAKER_09]: And, er, caress me nipples every now and then.

[00:13:22] [SPEAKER_06]: Five minutes later.

[00:13:24] [SPEAKER_06]: I can see Edinburgh.

[00:13:26] [SPEAKER_10]: And wow, champ, your nipples are so soft.

[00:13:30] [SPEAKER_10]: This has been one hell of a ride.

[00:13:32] [SPEAKER_10]: And you should try this new lotion.

[00:13:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Hey, chopper mate.

[00:13:40] [SPEAKER_09]: What are you doing? Get going. We're nearly there.

[00:13:43] [SPEAKER_09]: Sorry, chaps.

[00:13:44] [SPEAKER_09]: I've got two lambounas going cold and nipping here.

[00:13:47] [SPEAKER_09]: Great. I'm starving.

[00:13:49] [SPEAKER_09]: Did somebody say...

[00:13:52] [SPEAKER_09]: Just meat?

[00:13:53] [SPEAKER_09]: Enough with the euphemisms.

[00:13:55] [SPEAKER_09]: I'm getting queasy back here.

[00:13:56] [SPEAKER_09]: This hot nosh won't deliver itself.

[00:13:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Hey, we could get you back in game.

[00:14:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Set up a Legends contract.

[00:14:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Spin up a fresh merchandise line.

[00:14:05] [SPEAKER_02]: It'll be like old times.

[00:14:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Cuddy for Lenny!

[00:14:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Come on, join us at the Globe.

[00:14:14] [SPEAKER_09]: I never say never.

[00:14:17] [SPEAKER_09]: That's my guy.

[00:14:18] [SPEAKER_09]: But it's highly unlikely.

[00:14:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Dexie?

[00:14:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, a block?

[00:14:30] [SPEAKER_02]: When am I gonna get a female fake one?

[00:14:37] [SPEAKER_04]: Splash over summer with Grapple Max.

[00:14:40] [SPEAKER_04]: Red Hot deals with the brand-new Sunshine range of PWF merchandise.

[00:14:45] [SPEAKER_04]: Includes the Ginger Ninjas, I Burn Easily,

[00:14:49] [SPEAKER_04]: the Suntan Sultans, Creamy Daddy

[00:14:52] [SPEAKER_04]: and Union Jacks, I Heart Brits Abroad.

[00:14:54] [SPEAKER_04]: Cockney fuckers.

[00:14:56] [SPEAKER_04]: Take 10% off our limited edition title belt speedos

[00:14:59] [SPEAKER_04]: and, of course, the executive-size paddling pool.

[00:15:03] [SPEAKER_04]: Ideal for gravy wrestling.

[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_04]: Splash over summer with Grapple Max.

[00:15:11] [SPEAKER_05]: You're wrestling with the champ.

[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_05]: Hey! Fuck off!

[00:15:59] [SPEAKER_10]: The Ginger Ninja climbs the turnbuckle,

[00:16:01] [SPEAKER_10]: looks around at his adoring fans, both of them,

[00:16:05] [SPEAKER_10]: and they chant his name as he kisses his fists.

[00:16:10] [SPEAKER_10]: And boom! He hits the double elbow drop.

[00:16:14] [SPEAKER_10]: Vintage behaviour from the greatest

[00:16:16] [SPEAKER_10]: pub wrestling federation champion there is, was or ever will be.

[00:16:21] [SPEAKER_10]: This man has left a legacy that will be unmatched,

[00:16:24] [SPEAKER_10]: a titan of the sport of amateur professional wrestling.

[00:16:28] [SPEAKER_10]: As outspoken as he is outdated and always, unashamedly, himself.

[00:16:34] [SPEAKER_10]: He drags his battered opponent to the centre of the ring,

[00:16:37] [SPEAKER_10]: helps him up, buries his head between his legs

[00:16:39] [SPEAKER_10]: and hits pushing reality.

[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_10]: Every mad woman, child, barmaid and stray dog

[00:16:48] [SPEAKER_10]: is giving the Ginger Ninja a standing ovation

[00:16:51] [SPEAKER_10]: as he goes for the cover.

[00:16:53] [SPEAKER_10]: Only a dust of clearance!

[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_10]: And it's a final win for the Ginger Ninja.

[00:17:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Wrestling is the love of me life.

[00:17:22] [SPEAKER_02]: It's the longest relationship I've ever had.

[00:17:26] [SPEAKER_02]: It's picked me up when I've been down

[00:17:28] [SPEAKER_02]: and it's sent me crashing to the mat

[00:17:30] [SPEAKER_02]: when I've been on top at world.

[00:17:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Every break, every snap,

[00:17:37] [SPEAKER_02]: every trip to hospital has been in the hands

[00:17:40] [SPEAKER_02]: of me one true love.

[00:17:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Even though we don't whistle when I pee,

[00:17:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean it's creak louder than a Texas barn door,

[00:17:49] [SPEAKER_02]: I wouldn't change a single thing.

[00:17:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I want to be remembered as the man

[00:17:55] [SPEAKER_02]: who helped revolutionise this company

[00:17:57] [SPEAKER_02]: and changed pups from places where losers hang out

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_02]: to places where losers pay to hang out.

[00:18:05] [SPEAKER_03]: I've not been perfect.

[00:18:07] [SPEAKER_02]: No, not by a long shot.

[00:18:10] [SPEAKER_02]: But I've been Ginger.

[00:18:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Demo, fire up the picanto.

[00:18:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Champ out!

[00:18:27] [SPEAKER_08]: Wrestling with the Champ is written and produced

[00:18:29] [SPEAKER_08]: by Ant McGinley and Damien St-John.

[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_08]: Race to Edinburgh featuring additional voices

[00:18:35] [SPEAKER_08]: from Mick Cullen, Johnny Goldsmith, Brian Malcolm

[00:18:38] [SPEAKER_08]: and Jeff Jeff Spuggies on fire, how can he see man?

[00:18:42] [SPEAKER_08]: Look out for our live show,

[00:18:43] [SPEAKER_08]: Turtle Combat, coming live to a venue near you.

[00:18:46] [SPEAKER_08]: It's lifelike, you know what I'm saying?

[00:18:48] [SPEAKER_08]: The Champ will return one day.

[00:18:52] [SPEAKER_08]: Maybe.

[00:19:02] [SPEAKER_00]: This show is part of Podomedy, the podcast comedy network.

[00:19:08] [SPEAKER_00]: We're the best kept secret on Acast.

[00:19:11] [SPEAKER_10]: Why not laugh at what else we've got?

[00:19:14] [SPEAKER_10]: Check out podomedy.com now.