We're here for all the times you wished the ground would swallow you up!
From mouse shit tacos and mistaken family ass grabs to the moment you're left alone with a dead body, the penultimate episode in this season of Dear Mr. Knickerthief has it all... And so much more!
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Get in touch with the podcast on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/dearmrknickerthief
Follow Sophie Craig at https://www.instagram.com/itssophiecraig
Follow Jahannah James at https://www.instagram.com/jahannahjames
Part of Podomedy, the independent podcast comedy network.
00:00:00
Hello and welcome to dear Mr. Nickothy.
00:00:02
I'm Sophie. And I'm Johanna.
00:00:03
And this is the podcast where we used to read out my diary, but
00:00:07
now we've opened up the floor to you guys, so.
00:00:09
Now we're going to read out yours.
00:00:10
Enjoy. Enjoy and remember it's never
00:00:12
too much. It might be too much, OK.
00:00:16
Hello, it's us again. Welcome to dear Mr. Nickothy.
00:00:19
Welcome back everyone. It's the podcast where each week
00:00:24
we pick a topic. A theme, a theme, and you guys
00:00:28
sort of treat us as your digital diary and we're going to read
00:00:31
them out. We're going to.
00:00:32
Read out your actual real life embarrassing stories.
00:00:36
This week this is a good one. I'm excited for this one because
00:00:39
like a it's embarrassing stories and.
00:00:42
B. What absolute?
00:00:44
Legends, you guys are for just being like, here it is.
00:00:46
There were a few people you mentioned earlier that were
00:00:51
like, I can't, I can't, but if you but you can, you can keep it
00:00:55
anonymous by writing in to us at DMS Nick Thief on our Instagram.
00:00:59
If you DM us there instead of commenting on the status, it's
00:01:01
public. Or whatever if you want.
00:01:03
No one's going to know. No one is in and out.
00:01:05
Who's going to know? Yeah.
00:01:07
OK, so let's dive right in because I'm.
00:01:08
I'm really excited. Look at this.
00:01:10
No no pre chit chat. She's had a snack and she's off.
00:01:13
Having a snack and we're going right in.
00:01:15
I love embarrassing stories, mainly because I feel like I
00:01:18
have maybe a a lot of embarrassing moments.
00:01:21
In my life, same. More than most character
00:01:24
building, that's going to make me feel better.
00:01:26
Yeah, I think so. OK so dear Mr. Nick Thief, I'm
00:01:30
single with an almost 2 year old.
00:01:32
I was pushing her in a pram yesterday when we saw a hot
00:01:35
looking Amazon delivery driver. I tracked him with my eyes not
00:01:39
on the atmosphere as he walked from his van to where he was
00:01:44
delivering as it was the same direction I was going to.
00:01:48
When we were near. He waves and I automatically
00:01:50
wave back. Then my little then my girl
00:01:52
laughed to him ofs. That's when I realised he was
00:01:56
waving to her and not me. No.
00:01:59
Well. Not embarrassing enough?
00:02:01
Next. No, that's next.
00:02:02
Not embarrassing enough? No.
00:02:05
Honestly, if that is your most embarrassing moment.
00:02:08
Then Oh my God, you haven't lived.
00:02:10
I was really. Glad that we're not your friend
00:02:12
because we would really embarrassed, but thank you for
00:02:15
sharing that. But OK, that's OK.
00:02:18
I'm just embarrassing things. You don't need to be embarrassed
00:02:21
about that, Queen. This one might be funny.
00:02:23
The mouse shit Taco incident. Oh, it's got a title.
00:02:27
And everything already sounds amazing.
00:02:29
Yeah. Dear Mr. Nick Thief, It was in
00:02:31
the midst of winter. I like to say you're setting the
00:02:33
scene. This is great.
00:02:34
Three or four years ago, I lived on a canal boat and not
00:02:38
currently having a working fridge on board.
00:02:40
I put my shopping in a storage cupboard on my wheelhouse deck.
00:02:46
I thought it was fine. It's freezing cold.
00:02:48
Later that evening, I cooked up my mints on my wood stove fire
00:02:52
and started making my tacos, sprinkling my ALDI grated cheese
00:02:56
generously. This is.
00:02:58
Great, this. Is great storytelling.
00:03:00
A novelist. I had two or more tacos before
00:03:03
spotting. Inside the cheese bag.
00:03:04
There were many little brown lumps.
00:03:07
Oh. No, it was at this point I
00:03:09
noticed the bag had been chewed through.
00:03:12
Time stopped, air became still. The water surrounding my boat
00:03:17
came to a complete halt. The reflection of the moonlight
00:03:21
once, happily. Oh, I've screenshotted it, but
00:03:27
not the sea. More so we're just going to
00:03:30
have, we're just going to have to end there.
00:03:34
But we we all know what's happened.
00:03:37
The mouse has shat in the cheese and he's eaten 2 tacos by the
00:03:42
time he's realised. We need tech support.
00:03:48
Oh, Oh my God, we're awful. Well, but you know what?
00:03:53
OK, a we need to get better at this whole tech thing.
00:03:56
This is why we we need. This is why we don't screenshot.
00:03:59
This is why we need. This is why we need tech.
00:04:04
This is why I produce money. However, I would argue as awful
00:04:10
as that is, that's not embarrassing because I would
00:04:13
argue that embarrassing is when other people are around to
00:04:15
witness something. I mean, I feel.
00:04:17
Pretty embarrassed by a bag of yeah, but I would too.
00:04:21
But this, the embarrassment comes from like, that's more
00:04:24
like mortified. And the embarrassment comes
00:04:26
from. You've eaten 2.
00:04:27
Telling 2. Mouse dropping tacos I.
00:04:30
Wonder if they were I'll. I think we'll never know.
00:04:34
Well we will if we go back and read, read the comments and
00:04:38
actually copy and paste the whole thing.
00:04:39
But well, I hope, well obviously they live to tell the tale, so
00:04:44
that's great news. So.
00:04:45
Yeah, I mean, that was gross eating shit.
00:04:47
We were really going somewhere with that story.
00:04:49
Oh, I was really enjoying that. We really let ourselves down
00:04:51
there. Sorry, that was completely my
00:04:53
fault, dear Mr. Nick Thief. Well, I once ended up in a
00:04:58
morgue when I got lost in the hospital.
00:05:00
Oh my God. Would have been all right until
00:05:04
a member of staff wheeled a body bag in and said there's another
00:05:07
one for you and left me with it. So there was I, standing with a
00:05:14
Jane slash John. Doe.
00:05:17
So I thought, well, I'll move them somewhere more private.
00:05:20
So I decided to push them to Oh my God, they.
00:05:22
Actually got involved. Yeah, I'll just.
00:05:24
I'll just pop them somewhere so. They just got to pop them
00:05:26
somewhere more private. There's another one for yeah,
00:05:29
another day in the office, but didn't.
00:05:31
Know where to put them, so wield them.
00:05:35
I was trying to wield them to put them outside the office in
00:05:37
the morgue. Unfortunately I ended up in the
00:05:39
corridor outside the canteen and.
00:05:42
They with the dead. Body the door behind clicked
00:05:45
they couldn't go back in from where they so they went out what
00:05:47
they thought was going to be like I'll just wheel them around
00:05:49
to the office and. Put them in the canteen.
00:05:52
And then they actually was going towards the canteen and the door
00:05:56
behind them clicked. They couldn't get back in.
00:05:58
So then I had to run around and try and get back in without
00:06:00
anyone seeing. It was a complete disaster.
00:06:03
Got to where the Porter's office was and I was in a right state
00:06:07
and and one of the porters said, what the hell are you doing with
00:06:11
that? And they said all I wanted to do
00:06:15
was get a urine sample pot and then it's gone wrong and I've
00:06:19
got a dead body and I tried to move it.
00:06:21
So I'm in private and I put it so when.
00:06:22
That's like something I have a sitcom.
00:06:26
Why would you? If somebody handed me a dead
00:06:28
body was like there's another one.
00:06:30
For yeah. I'm sorry, no, I don't.
00:06:32
Work. I do not work here.
00:06:33
This poor person is such a people pleaser.
00:06:35
They're like. Thank you.
00:06:37
That's funny though. Yeah, when you're a people
00:06:39
pleaser and someone hands you a dead body.
00:06:42
Yeah, you know that standard thing when you know, when people
00:06:44
please with somebody else, you're dead, I guess.
00:06:45
You just want to help. So just take her for a wheel
00:06:48
around the canteen. Not somebody's dead relative.
00:06:52
Oh God, how mortified would you be if that was your person that
00:06:54
had just passed away? And then you just see this
00:06:56
random person looking for a urine test.
00:06:59
Not even medical like not in the medical get up or anything.
00:07:02
Just walking down the corridor from the canteen with your like.
00:07:05
I I, I actually think that'd be really funny if I died and I was
00:07:09
able to watch myself get wheeled around the canteen.
00:07:14
Anything from the trolley deer? Oh, that's awful.
00:07:20
That really tickled me. Well done.
00:07:21
Thank you. OK.
00:07:25
I worked in a care home for the physically disabled for eight
00:07:28
years as an activities organiser.
00:07:30
That would have been a fun job. We did loads of great things and
00:07:33
for the early risers I always had an arts and crafts table
00:07:36
ready by 8:00 AM every morning. So this particular morning the
00:07:39
manager came with me, a lovely lady saying hi Deb, this is
00:07:43
Julie who's joining us today. I replied.
00:07:45
Hi Julie, truly lovely to meet you.
00:07:47
I've just set up for the day, perhaps you might like to start
00:07:49
painting? No, Julie's part of the staff
00:07:52
for today. How do you even swallow that?
00:08:03
Right, that's brilliant. These are like literal.
00:08:07
This has given me inspiration for some of the best moments in
00:08:09
like TV. 'S this is ATV moment, Yeah,
00:08:13
like when? You the last two.
00:08:14
When you put your foot in it. Nah, Julie, would you like to do
00:08:18
some painting? No, actually I'm your manager.
00:08:22
Amazing. Let's see.
00:08:25
Oh, it's the other person. Would have been like.
00:08:27
The the person pushed. Around the dead people.
00:08:29
Well, yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
00:08:30
She'd have like been painting and three hours later been like,
00:08:32
actually I'm. I've still got to do some work.
00:08:36
Right. Thank you for that.
00:08:38
I'll invoice for this. OK, dear Miss Nick Thief, the
00:08:42
time I put the sanitary pads in my shoes on a night out because
00:08:45
that was a hack that they said put a sanitary pad in.
00:08:48
Oh, I've got a funny star. Really only only to find them
00:08:50
poking out the front of my peep toe shoes in the middle of the
00:08:54
night. You're trying to pull in a bar
00:08:57
and then they look down and you've got Fanny pads.
00:09:00
That's so funny, that reminds me of a story in uni.
00:09:05
Right? So me and my friend Nikki shout
00:09:08
out to Nikki, we're a gorgeous friend.
00:09:10
We were getting ready for a night out and we're putting on
00:09:12
fake tan, but we couldn't find like a fake tan MIT, so we used
00:09:16
condoms. So we got condoms really, well,
00:09:19
we didn't think of that, but we used condoms.
00:09:22
So we were like brilliant, We'll pop a couple of them on, got
00:09:24
them out of Nicky's straw, popped them on our hands,
00:09:26
sprayed them with the fake tan, popped it on, worked a treat to
00:09:29
be fair. Anyway, we were out and we met
00:09:34
these two guys in the bar and we were just chatting away,
00:09:39
chatting away and Nicky was getting on one.
00:09:41
We wanted them really well and I ended up with a mate.
00:09:42
You know, when you're just like, oh, for God's sake.
00:09:44
Anyway, yeah, I ended up like just chatting to the mates so
00:09:47
that because they were having a lovely time.
00:09:49
Anyway, after a couple of hours, one of the guys, they like, they
00:09:54
were like stood near us and they were like, both of them were
00:09:58
like you all right. And they were like, they're
00:10:00
like, you guys really like smell like rubber.
00:10:03
Like what have you guys done? Like were they like you smell
00:10:06
like Johnnies? You smell like condoms.
00:10:08
We were like. Oh my God, we smell like
00:10:10
condoms. And we were like, oh, right.
00:10:14
Well, I can't even remember what it was, but I just remember
00:10:19
being mortified. I can't remember what we did.
00:10:21
I think we probably just were like, oh, we used condoms to put
00:10:23
our fake tan on because that's kind of what we were like.
00:10:26
But I, yeah, it was quite embarrassing at the moment.
00:10:29
Like Nikki never used to embarrass easily though, so I
00:10:31
was in safe hands. But yeah, we absolutely reeked
00:10:35
of condoms. Absolutely reeked.
00:10:38
ODA Cologne. ODA Cologne.
00:10:39
ODA condom. OK dear Miss Nick Thief when me
00:10:43
and my now husband first started seeing each other we went up to
00:10:46
the lakes for the day for a day out and I was looking around the
00:10:50
shop and I went to grab his bum but I grabbed some other man's.
00:10:55
I was. Mortified, I could see Jack
00:10:58
looking at me across the shop, laughing.
00:11:00
Yeah, grabbing someone else's arse is hard to.
00:11:03
Yeah. How did you come back from?
00:11:04
That I'm so sorry, Sir. It's like when you think
00:11:08
somebody's like your mum or your dad or something and you're
00:11:11
like, you're walking along and you turn around and you're like
00:11:12
mum, oh God, it's just another. Old woman, Yeah.
00:11:18
Oh, actually this happened to my sister's boyfriend at Christmas.
00:11:22
We're all wearing the same jumpers.
00:11:25
We stood around my mum's kitchen and I think his so my sister
00:11:29
Charlotte was stood next to him at one point and then she moved
00:11:31
and I just came in. And you all looked kind of about
00:11:33
the same height, same hair. Same dark hair, all the same
00:11:36
jumpers on and he just went down and just grabbed my ass, slapped
00:11:39
my ass to give it a little squeeze.
00:11:40
And I was like, thank you Adam. And he was like, Oh my God.
00:11:45
And he hasn't lived it down to this day.
00:11:46
Like we still take the Mick out of him forward.
00:11:48
The time he slapped my. Ass Yeah, Yeah.
00:11:50
Still take the Mick out of him for it this time.
00:11:52
Yeah, it was. He was.
00:11:53
It was hilarious, but he was mortified.
00:11:56
Yeah, I think that's the top tier.
00:12:00
Embarrassing is like probably foot in mouth moments or
00:12:05
miscommunication. Oh God, yeah.
00:12:07
Moments. Oh, physical things.
00:12:09
I get a lot of like physical, funny, embarrassing moments.
00:12:13
So many times I've fallen over or.
00:12:15
I mean, and it's now I feel like I'm embarrassed less easily now.
00:12:19
Yeah, because of human right. And it's just at the end of the
00:12:21
day, it's like, oh, hilarious. The two when I think of like
00:12:23
most embarrassing physical moments for me.
00:12:26
I've got 2 memories that pop up that I'm like cringe.
00:12:29
The first one was when I was like 15, I went to a skate park
00:12:34
because I was trying to skateboard because I was so
00:12:36
cool, and I decided to give the halfpipe a go.
00:12:44
Now what was cool about this skate park isn't for one hour in
00:12:47
the mornings it was girls only. So my story's so boring.
00:12:51
So boring. I've.
00:12:53
Had this other time. It's so warm in this room, it's
00:13:01
really hard to hide too. And I was like yawning.
00:13:04
We can cut to Johanna. We'll start a yawn.
00:13:06
And you just caught me and just called me out on it.
00:13:10
There's video evidence people are watching Sophie.
00:13:14
Carry on. It's not OK.
00:13:17
I kind of cut my yarn shots. I'll be like I'm not done.
00:13:19
Would. You like to have a yarn break?
00:13:21
No, I'd say yarn. Continue.
00:13:25
I've got a yarn, yeah. It's like yawns, like
00:13:35
contagious, right? They cannot.
00:13:36
Look at. Each other and apparently like,
00:13:37
if people can look at you and not yawn, they're a psychopath.
00:13:41
I've heard how many people are going to be watching this and
00:13:44
yawning. Oh my God.
00:13:45
Please let us know if you if you're if you're OK.
00:13:47
You can't. Even speak.
00:13:52
Oh God, right. Continue.
00:13:54
Back to my. Boring story.
00:13:56
Boring story. So it was only girls.
00:13:58
So I felt really confident learning to skate because I
00:14:01
didn't, you know, the boys weren't there.
00:14:02
But then 11:00 came round, all the boys started coming in and
00:14:06
then I, I gassed myself up and was like, yeah, I'm going to the
00:14:08
half pipe. So I queued up to the half pipe
00:14:12
and there was a boy in front of me and he was obviously like
00:14:14
really impressed that I was going to try and do the half
00:14:17
pipe. And he was like, I was like, no,
00:14:19
after you. He went no, no, no, after you
00:14:21
like. How do you say no to that?
00:14:23
And I was like, OK, he was like, you all right?
00:14:25
I was like. Yeah.
00:14:27
And I. I.
00:14:28
Really like set myself up for the fall.
00:14:31
Oh my God. And then I, because I'd done it
00:14:34
in the, in when it was just girls there.
00:14:37
I, I managed to sort of do it, I think at least once or with some
00:14:40
help. And then, yeah, I I fell from
00:14:45
the top. I'll just talk to myself
00:14:53
tonight. But I fell from the tops, the
00:14:56
skateboard went out, the halfpipe flew across the hole
00:15:00
and nearly didn't go and get it. I really thought, oh, just leave
00:15:02
it, I'll just get out. Just get out.
00:15:04
Did you wind yourself? There's nothing more
00:15:06
embarrassing when you fall and wind yourself.
00:15:07
I. Fell.
00:15:08
I fell down the halfpipe. I was just lying there.
00:15:10
There was just the boy going. Are you alright?
00:15:13
I'm like, yeah, great roads, cool.
00:15:15
You win some, you lose something.
00:15:16
You win. You never said that.
00:15:18
I. I tried to type out you.
00:15:20
Never said you wouldn't. So I I don't know what I said.
00:15:23
You win some. You lose.
00:15:24
Yeah. OK.
00:15:25
And then I had to hobble across the entire thing.
00:15:28
And so I just started my skateboards just under.
00:15:30
Sorry, never went back. So that was really, really
00:15:34
embarrassing. And the second one, the more
00:15:36
recent one, was in the pandemic, you know, when the only thing
00:15:40
you could do with the day was go to like a supermarket or a shop.
00:15:42
Yeah. And obviously only certain
00:15:45
amount of people who go and shop at one time.
00:15:46
So there was queues of people outside the shop and it was
00:15:50
going down the High Street. And I was with my boyfriend and
00:15:53
there was probably about 150 people waiting to go into Wilco.
00:15:57
And I was at the start of the queue and I was walking along
00:16:00
and one minute I was up, next minute flat on the concrete.
00:16:05
Falling off was the best fell. Flat and I smacked it was like
00:16:08
and everybody in the queue went and a lady ran out of the shop
00:16:14
that I was like next to or it was a restaurant and she ran out
00:16:16
and she was like, oh, be careful, It's very and then
00:16:20
there was nothing that I tripped over.
00:16:22
There wasn't like like a thing or make you feel bad.
00:16:25
Yeah, just. Like be careful.
00:16:26
It's very, it's very flat. I know it's just and it was, it
00:16:31
was really painful as well and. You've got to try that like it
00:16:33
doesn't. Hurt, Yeah.
00:16:34
And I had to get up, but my boyfriend couldn't even get me
00:16:36
up because he was laughing so much.
00:16:38
Because one minute I was there and the next minute I wasn't.
00:16:41
And then I had to go and join the queue and wait.
00:16:43
Oh. No.
00:16:45
So they were my 2. Physically embarrassing.
00:16:47
I've had a really I've one of the worst, worst auditions I've
00:16:51
ever been to. I.
00:16:54
For some reason was called in for like a modelling job, which
00:16:59
I am not a model. I'm 5 foot 4, right?
00:17:02
I'm just not, I'm not right. And I remember being late for
00:17:08
this audition. So I was running and running and
00:17:10
running. And then obviously I tripped
00:17:13
over the middle of the road, stacked it and went skidding
00:17:17
across the floor, like skidding to the point where I grazed my
00:17:20
knees and they were bleeding, like, through my tights.
00:17:22
Yeah, I was wearing tights. I get the holes.
00:17:25
Oh yeah, I got the holes and everything and they were
00:17:26
bleeding anyway, so I was like, and there's a guy behind me.
00:17:29
You're right. I was like, yeah, yeah, fine.
00:17:31
Walking. He was walking behind me.
00:17:32
Turns out he was also going to the audition as well.
00:17:35
And I was like, for fuck's sake, I, it was the worst.
00:17:37
Anyway, and then I got there and I was really flustered and I was
00:17:39
just like, oh for God's sake. Oh, alright, alright.
00:17:41
And then they gave me these tights to put on.
00:17:43
So I put on these like skin coloured tights.
00:17:46
My leg was bleeding through them.
00:17:49
And then they gave me this tight sequin gold dress and I was just
00:17:52
really flustered. Also A not a model, B cut my leg
00:17:55
open and C was bleeding. So see he was late, sorry.
00:17:59
So anyway, went into the audition and I don't know what
00:18:02
the fuck I was doing. Like I have no idea how these
00:18:06
casting calls go for models right there Were these really
00:18:08
tall skinny women there? Not me 5 foot four.
00:18:12
I was wearing horrible like not even dock Mart in boots like RIP
00:18:15
off primat dock Mart in boots like didn't even remember like
00:18:18
didn't know to bring heels nothing like that.
00:18:19
So I'm wearing these dock Martins horrible skin coloured
00:18:22
tights, bleeding and this awful dress that was definitely far
00:18:26
too tight and was like all gold and sparkly.
00:18:29
Anyway, I got into the audition little dumpy 5 foot 4 bleeding
00:18:34
knee stood there in the dress and like right just show off the
00:18:36
dress a little bit. So I was just there like turning
00:18:38
around like. Some sort of like.
00:18:42
Like a prize, like a conveyor belt.
00:18:44
And they're like, and then can you just try and, you know, just
00:18:47
show off the arms a bit And like, obviously.
00:18:50
So like all the models have probably been like, yeah, like
00:18:53
hands behind their heads like this.
00:18:54
That that I went. I stuck my arm out to the side
00:18:58
and just went and took my other hand and just laid it like this.
00:19:03
That's the old the. Arm I.
00:19:04
Literally went that's the left. I went and that's this.
00:19:07
And then I'll turn to the other side, put on my right arm, drop
00:19:10
my left hand and drew that up to the armpit as well.
00:19:13
Great. And they were like, thank you,
00:19:15
you can go now. I was the most.
00:19:19
I was just like please ground swallow me.
00:19:21
Up next time you show me an outfit.
00:19:23
Or a fit. Check.
00:19:23
I'm going to be like, can you just show me the arms, Sophie?
00:19:25
I'd be. Like you just show off the arms
00:19:27
a bit because there were big sparkly arms in it.
00:19:28
I just literally was like Exhibit A, Exhibit B, and yeah.
00:19:34
And I had another really embarrassing moment on set,
00:19:37
which now in hindsight, as a more grown, I'm not as
00:19:40
embarrassed about. But I was 22 at the time and it
00:19:44
was the one and only extra job I'd ever done supporting
00:19:46
artists, I think, right. But yeah, it was called extras
00:19:48
at the time. And they dressed me, tied me up.
00:19:53
I went in for a fitting the day before they put me in a WASP,
00:19:55
but it was super tight and I was just like, Oh my God, this is so
00:19:59
uncomfortable. Anyway, it went back the next
00:20:01
day and got dressed in something else, sat for 8 hours and we
00:20:05
weren't used. This is what they don't tell you
00:20:07
about these jobs. Like hats off to anybody that
00:20:09
does this for a living. It's a really tough job and it's
00:20:12
really long, long hours and you didn't even get used anyway.
00:20:15
They're like right, you're not getting used.
00:20:16
I was like oh for God's sake. Went back to the unit and the
00:20:19
woman was like, oh, if you're in tomorrow because I had a small
00:20:21
part in the film as well, but then they wanted me to do like,
00:20:24
can we try your outfit on for the next day?
00:20:28
And I was like, oh, for God's sake.
00:20:29
And I'd like, I think I was like, oh, it was on.
00:20:31
It was my time of the month. And I'd been sat for hours and
00:20:34
hours and hours, wasn't prepared with anything because nobody sat
00:20:37
there for hours and hadn't taken anything.
00:20:38
And then this one was like, quick, we just need to get you
00:20:40
in this outfit. And I was like, I need to go to
00:20:41
the bathroom. And she was like, I need to get
00:20:43
you in this quick. And I was like, oh, God, OK, I
00:20:45
didn't speak up for myself. Anyway, she put me back in this
00:20:48
wasper, back in this little leotard.
00:20:50
And then obviously, like, I took it all off.
00:20:52
And I was just like, Oh, no. And this is like in this vintage
00:20:56
costume, I was like, oh, no. And she had to like, rush me
00:21:00
through, like everybody and take me to the sink.
00:21:03
And it was like, there's all these people there.
00:21:05
And she made me sit and wash it all out, like in the sink of all
00:21:08
these other production crew and that were there.
00:21:10
That's embarrassing. And I was just like, that was
00:21:12
the most embarrassing moment. But there's like, now obviously
00:21:14
I'd be like, no, I need to go to the bathroom.
00:21:16
Yeah, no, sorry, You know, sorry, like.
00:21:18
You've literally left my period. Yeah, to let me deal with that.
00:21:20
It was the most embarrassing moment and I'm not done essay
00:21:23
work ever again since. Also like, like, I feel like
00:21:26
it's a rite of passage as an actor to do.
00:21:28
That, yeah, you've got to do. Start off with a little bit of
00:21:30
extra. Work, but not loads because they
00:21:32
say you're not supposed to. But I did it once and I was
00:21:34
like, oh, I've got a little party load.
00:21:36
I was like, I've got a little part in the thing.
00:21:37
Yeah, I'll do a couple of extra days for you as well.
00:21:40
Never again, never again. Hats off to anybody that does
00:21:43
that because that is it's a hard job.
00:21:47
It's a hard job. Well, thank you so much for
00:21:49
sharing your embarrassing stories.
00:21:50
We actually could do with juicier ones.
00:21:52
I feel like a lot of people held back, held back.
00:21:55
So DM us, right? We're going to come back.
00:21:58
We're going to circle back around to embarrassing stories,
00:22:00
but you can. Keep them private.
00:22:02
We'll do This is tier one. This is the.
00:22:04
Hot the. Appetite if you if you think you
00:22:05
can beat them Eastern shit or the best the dead best one with
00:22:10
the dead body. The Dead Body 1 is the best.
00:22:11
That's my favorite one ever. Yeah, let us know.
00:22:16
But now we're it's your turn to do note to self.
00:22:20
Yeah, this is the next part of the podcast.
00:22:26
All right, so I'm going to go in for we.
00:22:29
We're going to go in for a Facebook.
00:22:33
Memory lane on Facebook Memory lane on.
00:22:34
Facebook, I love an On this day Facebook status and you're so,
00:22:38
so cringy and mine are really cringy.
00:22:40
So we're going to go back and we're going back to, I'll start
00:22:44
at 15 years ago on this day, all right, 14 years ago, sorry, on
00:22:49
this day. And then on the same day I put
00:22:54
up a few statuses A. Few.
00:22:56
Oh, she was on it. Oh, I'm a few.
00:22:58
OK Friday ellipsis. He is a talent.
00:23:02
I bet you didn't know I had winky face.
00:23:06
What talent? That's it.
00:23:08
I don't know the suspense. Friday.
00:23:11
Nice Cryptic Friday. Here's a talent I bet you didn't
00:23:15
know I had. So cringe.
00:23:17
And then I, I continued on another status, actually on the
00:23:21
same day, right? I've just eaten half a jar of
00:23:24
strawberry jam. That's it.
00:23:28
Great. Cool story bro.
00:23:30
That's it. Half a jar of strawberry jam.
00:23:33
That's it. But that's like really, let's be
00:23:34
honest, that's two spoonfuls of jam.
00:23:36
Get a grips off. Why are you putting that on
00:23:37
there, you sad, sad. Woman, I love the fact that you
00:23:39
would have sat there and you would have gone.
00:23:41
What are you up to today? Or whatever the prompt was.
00:23:44
What's on your mind? I know.
00:23:46
I'll let everyone know that I've eaten some jam.
00:23:48
Yeah. These are embarrassing in
00:23:49
themselves. Here we go, someone's put.
00:23:53
So this is 13 years ago on this day, so I must have just moved
00:23:55
to London maybe Been there about a week.
00:23:59
Generic. Anyone about in London status?
00:24:01
Oh. You don't put that in.
00:24:03
Maybe back home you can do that. Yeah, but no, everybody used to
00:24:06
do it back in the day. Like who's about in London?
00:24:08
Like to meet up for a coffee in London.
00:24:09
Best of it is I wasn't even in London, I was in Surbiton.
00:24:13
That's not London. That's not London, that's that's
00:24:15
that's in the suburbs. That's near Kingston.
00:24:17
Zone 5 or 6. Yeah, yeah.
00:24:19
But and then I remember being really shocked when my cousin
00:24:22
was like, Oh yeah, it takes about 40 minutes to get and I
00:24:24
was like 40 minutes. That's ridiculous.
00:24:26
And now I'm like, Oh, no, I get it because but you would move
00:24:30
down to the thing and you're like, Oh my God, I'm gonna be
00:24:31
let's sort sex on the such air. I'm gonna be like walking on
00:24:34
Harrods or damn, just gonna be like, I'll bounce straight.
00:24:39
Absolutely not. Yeah, I thought everybody could
00:24:41
just be about nothing. I was like, Oh my God, I'm gonna
00:24:42
live in like Mayfair. I'm gonna have one of those
00:24:45
houses with like the big white columns outside with a damp room
00:24:51
with a hole in the ceiling and a mouse on the stairs.
00:24:53
But so I had a very rude awakening and then somebody
00:24:56
commented saying me I'm not up to much at the moment and I
00:24:59
ignored them. Who's in London?
00:25:02
No, Didn't. Want to see you?
00:25:03
No, didn't want to see you and then same day also in I like to
00:25:08
I I updated quite often mad first week in London all settled
00:25:13
audition tomorrow start front of house tomorrow and we have a
00:25:16
house slash cottage in Hampton Court in September.
00:25:19
I'm ready, winky face anyway. A loving life turns.
00:25:25
Out. Oh, no, I I was crying every
00:25:27
day. And it turns out that the
00:25:29
audition that I went to was the one about the brothel.
00:25:31
If you've not listened to that episode, you need to listen to
00:25:34
the time I was nearly a prostitute because that's what
00:25:36
this is about. I started front of house, but
00:25:39
then the theatre went dark almost immediately.
00:25:41
And yeah, it was it was it was not good.
00:25:45
And same day, another status that said there's quite a lot of
00:25:48
mood swings here. Seriously missing my melon and
00:25:53
Melon was my boyfriend at the time.
00:25:55
I called him Melon. I don't know what's brings you.
00:26:01
And then he's put, well at least I'm back in the UK now and I put
00:26:04
you are. You're communicating via
00:26:12
Facebook status. Supplies that's not truly.
00:26:15
That's not a very. Literally is it?
00:26:19
Well. But yeah, that was that was
00:26:23
that. And there's a few more, but like
00:26:26
they're, they're a little bit more, less unhinged.
00:26:30
Do you know what I mean? Like as you grew?
00:26:32
Up. Keep it.
00:26:32
Let's leave on a good note. Because they were they.
00:26:34
Were they were awful cringy as hell.
00:26:37
So yeah, I'll if you ever need like a little bit of a pick me
00:26:40
up, just have a little look at your Facebook memories and
00:26:42
cringe at yourself. Please please screenshot them or
00:26:46
copy and paste if you have like we should do a competition for.
00:26:50
Note to self, I've got my best. Best Facebook memories?
00:26:53
Facebook memory status that you did back in the day.
00:26:56
Genuinely, back in the day. Yeah, I like them.
00:26:59
We want them. The worse the better.
00:27:01
And you're literally why the hell if you can beat Sophie's I
00:27:04
just had half a jar of jam. That's so pathetic.
00:27:08
At least eat the full jar if you're going to report it.
00:27:10
Was going on in your life that day?
00:27:12
Was I was very happy. Then I was sad that I was
00:27:14
missing Melon. Don't know who was in the
00:27:16
country. Why Melon?
00:27:18
Can't remember because it used to be like, oh you're right
00:27:19
Melon. Oh, the bounce.
00:27:22
Ha ha ha. Ha ha.
00:27:24
The bounce. Oh.
00:27:27
Bless him anyway, that's it from us, isn't?
00:27:30
It That's us today. Short, sharp and sweet.
00:27:33
Yeah, because I'm tired. Apparently I'm tired now you've
00:27:36
set me off and I need a nap so. Next time you might see us,
00:27:42
Johanna might not be pregnant. That's exciting.
00:27:45
Yeah, that might be very exciting.
00:27:47
Nobody can be more excited about that than me.
00:27:50
Fantastic guys. If you want to get in touch with
00:27:52
us, you can follow us at DMS Nick Thief podcast.
00:27:54
That's where you can DM us all your bits and pieces or you can
00:27:56
follow us on across, on across, Follow us all across our
00:27:59
socials, Facebook, Instagram at it.
00:28:01
Sophie Craig at Johanna James, where we put out the topics for
00:28:04
each week and where you're able to write in and get involved.
00:28:07
I think I covered everything there didn't.
00:28:09
I you're still listening to this at this point, well done, you're
00:28:11
a legend. We love you.
00:28:12
All four of you there. All four of you, thank you to
00:28:15
all four of our subscribers, peace out.
00:28:18
We love you. And yeah, don't forget it's
00:28:22
never too much or. Maybe it is.
00:28:24
Maybe. It is you've been listening to.
00:28:27
Dear Mr. Nick Thief. If you want to get involved,
00:28:30
then you can. There are a few ways you can do
00:28:32
it. And yeah, if you've got any
00:28:34
stories that make you want to curl up and die and they'll
00:28:36
ground, just swallow your whole, then we want to hear from you.
00:28:38
Love to hear them. Yeah, We'll share them with
00:28:40
everybody. Love to share them public.
00:28:41
Sharing is caring. It is so you can DMS at or
00:28:45
Instagram. Dear miss Nick thief and a
00:28:47
TikTok Got a TikTok a TikTok. We've got a TikTok now, Dear
00:28:51
Miss Nick Thief, and we've got an e-mail, dear Mr. Nick Thief
00:28:55
at Gmail. Yeah, because we're cheaper.
00:28:57
We didn't want to pay for the actual name.
00:28:59
So it's still Gmail. Well, yeah, get in touch.
00:29:03
We put shout outs on our socials, so keep an eye on them
00:29:05
on our personal socials as well. At Johanna James, at It's Sophie
00:29:08
Craig. And yeah, get involved with all
00:29:10
your little topics and telltales and we'll share them out and
00:29:14
remember that time. Yeah, it's never too much.
00:29:16
Might be too much, maybe. Thank you.