LTO Brief #10 - Insta Gratification

[00:00:00] This podcast was highly commended at the 2026 Golden Lobes Podcast Awards. Nice! Hi, Susie and Esther here. We've hijacked the start of our own show to tell you how you can get even more involved with Limited Time Only. If you enjoy the podcast and you want to support us, you can become a patron. Go to patreon.com, search for Limited Time Only and boom!

[00:00:22] For £5 a month, you can get early access to chats, sketches and guests, bonus episodes and the chance to come along to our LTO Lives online, all while supporting the podcast. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube at Limited Time Only Podcast. And if you're a listener on Apple and you haven't yet rated and reviewed us, we'd really appreciate a five stars and a glowing review. Yeah. So now, thank you ever so much and on with the show!

[00:00:52] I'm Esther. And I'm Susie. And this is Limited Time Only. Brief! A pick-me-up in shorter podcast form. Ages ago, in one of these episodes, you said you really grieve the 90s. Yes. There's been a couple of instances recently where I have found myself grieving the 90s and it was triggered by two films.

[00:01:20] One of them is an absolute classic, Kevin and Perry Go Large. I've not seen it. Oh my God, watch Kevin and Perry Go Large. I think it's going to be utter crap, but it is so warm and I just love Kathy Burke and it is so funny. But watching that, we watched that with the kids and then last Friday me and the kids watched Sliding Doors. Oh my God. And I, oh my God. One, I didn't realize how much everything had changed.

[00:01:45] Like the oven that Gwyneth Paltrow is cooking on in London is one of those ones, white freestanding with a grill that you pull out on the top. In the 90s, at the end of the 90s. Um, well, she's staying with her friend in a flat. It isn't updated. But, but just how sort of quiet, much quieter London was. People would just pull up and park their car. They've all got somewhere to live. It is a film. This is a film.

[00:02:14] But you know, I don't know. There's just something about the simplicity of it. And, and we've all got very earnest nowadays, haven't we? Everything's very like, don't do the wrong thing. Don't do the wrong thing. She loses her job and her partner says, I'm going to take you out. We're going to get really drunk. And I thought, oh, now I just, I don't really know it. I know we're in our middle years, but I don't really know anybody that says, let's go and get drunk. Even young people. Um, like everything's become quite serious. And yes, I don't know.

[00:02:44] Because it's all performative. That's the problem, isn't it? Yeah. Everything we do is a performance. Yes. I mean, even right now. Um, yeah, this is my favorite kind of thing. This is, this is the only reason I do anything is to, you know, I want, I want awful life experiences so I can talk about them on the podcast. Yeah. We've got no content otherwise. Um, but everything, everything's on the internet. Yeah. So you, so you have to be very careful about what you say.

[00:03:11] I mean, obviously we're horribly bigoted in usual. Oh God. Not at all. But, um, but, but yeah, we don't, you don't want to get drunk because you don't want someone to take a picture of you of that to be all over the internet and then you might lose your job. Cause it is, you're right. I mean, no one lets themselves go anymore. No, I know this is a really awful thing to say, but you know, even the cold play thing with the couple that were having the affair.

[00:03:39] Let them have their sordid little affair. Let them have their sordid, dirty little affair. Let them ruin each other's family's lives. Just do it. Just let me know about it. When do we, do we get so sort of like involved in each other's lives and being able to determine just by looking at something that we say, well, they shouldn't have done that. Like we hold everybody to such high standards. We've all turned into the local busy body. We have. Peeking through the curtains, peeking through the curtains of Instagram. Yes.

[00:04:09] I think we should just throw the phones away, get pissed and have sex with everyone we shouldn't. Well, do you know what? I don't know if you watched Rivals series one, but I've seen the trailer. Oh yeah, but I really wanted to see. Oh my God, Suze, watch it. And Rivals season two, I've watched the trailer. It is just such a romp. And, and that also makes me realize how sort of sterilized we've all become.

[00:04:34] And, and even down to, you know, don't sleep this way. Don't eat this. Don't have coffee after six. I can't literally do anything. I go back and I think, oh my God, I used to have a cup of coffee when I was a teenager with my gran at nine o'clock at night. And now it would be, you'd be so judged with that. Do you not know what that caffeine is doing? I think it's because I actually do adhere to a lot of this stuff. And I live quite a clean life. I'm quite virtuous. And then I think, oh Christ, when did I get so boring?

[00:05:01] When did, when did it not become about trusting your own instincts and going, ah, today, screw it, let's do this. When did it become, no, the rules are, and all the rules are so different, aren't they? They're like, oh, don't eat dairy. Do eat dairy. So it's just like, oh my God, you know, how to operate. You know, fine. You know, have collagen in your coffee. I do. Which one? Oh, you don't want to be having that one. You want to be having this one.

[00:05:28] Oh, and this, this, this celebrity that I quite like is advertising that one. But there's another celebrity I quite like is advertising the other one. Yeah. I mean, it's very confusing. And I often get to the point where I'm just about to buy something. I mean, I am an Instagram marketers dream. You're suggestive. Show me something twice. I'm in. Suggestible Susan. Very suggestible. Which is why, thank God, there were no cameras around in the nineties. Yeah. Nobody wants to see that.

[00:05:55] But you know, I'd be, I'm at the point where I'm just about to press buy on, on whatever product it is that I've been sold. And I think, no, stop. Because you will regret this. If it's, if it's an online course, you're not going to watch it, Suze. And if it's some kind of product, it probably isn't doing anything to you. I've actually been taking NMN. Oh, yes.

[00:06:19] Which I quite like because it sounds a bit like I'm taking, what's that drug? Oh, yes. Oh, MDMA. MDMA. But it's not that, sadly. But it's meant to give you more energy and whatever. But I'm like, hmm, I think it did for about a week when I probably believed in it. And now, nah, it's just, it's just rinsing my savings.

[00:06:49] Well, I just feel like we are losing our inner compass, aren't we, a bit? And we're just, I mean, I am a suggestible Esther. You're a suggestible Susan. I'm a suggestible Esther. The names. I just, I just, I'm invested. You've got me. I believe you. This is going to change my life. Suddenly, I'm going to be able to remember to put the washing on or take it out. Yes. I'm going to be a fully functioning human. I'm going to optimize everything. I mean, even my, my, one of my children talked about optimizing things a lot.

[00:07:18] And I'm like, just live your life. Just go and live your life. Just have a snog and go and get a bit drunk. I know. And don't worry about the lists. It's like we're living in a capitalist stream, aren't we? That's the problem. We're not doing the, we don't listen to our inner compasses anymore because we're, and I'm so guilty of this going, well, actually, well, like the collagen. I should have bovine. No, don't have bovine. No, do have bovine. No, don't have plant-based. Have the fish one. Like what? I don't know.

[00:07:48] Leave me alone. But it is a load of people making a load of money. Yeah. You're absolutely right. Like we're living in a, I mean, capitalism has gone mad and everything, everything is, is monetized now, isn't it? Yeah. I've actually made a conscious effort to try not to look at social media so much and to read more. Yes. I'm reading books and I'm really loving it. I've got a different, I've got a book downstairs that I'm reading in the morning. I mean, I might read literally half a page. Yeah.

[00:08:18] Um, I'm reading Keenan Michael Key, the American comedian and his wife, Elle Key. And it's a history of sketch comedy. So I'm reading that and I'm just a little bit every, every morning while I'm eating my egg, my poached egg and avocado on sourdough. Hello. Hello. Hello. Welcome to the middle class. Um, and, uh, and then upstairs, which actually probably is a mistake. I'm reading how to kill a witch, which is a history.

[00:08:48] It's, it's a guide for the patriarchy, which is ironic. Um, but it's, it's about the witch hunts in Scotland in the, um, 17th and 18th centuries. It's horrendous, but brilliant and very well written by these two fantastic, um, women who have a podcast, which we should listen to as well about witchcraft. But anyway, it's great. But last night my dreams were so bad about witches and people being burned to the steak and stuff. I'm like, hmm. Are they doing comedy sketches?

[00:09:18] I should, I should switch them around, shouldn't I? Yes, definitely. Switch them around. Yeah, start with witches. Witch in the morning, comedy at night. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, so no one's selling me anything there. I'm not being sold something. Well, I just noticed, I just noticed, and I know we've talked about this before. When I step away from my phone, I get clarity of thought. Um, I stepped away from my phone for a couple of weeks at Christmas and I try and do that every year.

[00:09:45] And suddenly I know exactly what I want to do, who I am, where I'm going. But for the rest of the year, when I'm looking at my phone, I'm distracted or thinking, oh, I could try this or I could try that. And, and suddenly I'm not so stressed. I don't, I, I, I have more time and space. And this weekend I was away for, with some friends. And yesterday, um, we were at a family funeral and I didn't look at my phone for three days, uh, essentially. And, oh God, it's just glorious.

[00:10:14] I know why, but we know this. I know. But the, but the problem is that then everything is on the phone. And as soon as I have, oh, I must check. I mean, I, I would almost get rid of, I would all, I'm nearly, I'm at the point where I'm considering getting a brick that I just have on me for WhatsApp. Yeah. Um, and everything else, I sort of just have this as a sort of work computer.

[00:10:44] Yes. Um, which I think, I think I'm close. I'm close to it. I'm very close to it because I know myself that I have absolutely no willpower whatsoever. None. Um, if you, if you wanted to take me out and get me drunk, very easy to do. Just noted. That's just a little tip there for when we're next away. Saturday night, I'm seeing Susie with a couple of friends.

[00:11:12] I will get her a rat ass and, and take some photos. Um, what was I saying? I can't remember now. No, you've got a bit pink. So you're just getting a bit. I know I've got a bit. I'm excited. Um, uh, willpower. Yes. So, and I think, well, I won't, I won't go on the, um, I won't go on it. And I've got this app. I've even got an app called be present, which blocks my apps, which is good. It, it, it has helped a lot. Cause I just, I look at, I go, well, it's, it's grayed out. I can't go on it.

[00:11:42] Forget it. But what I just do sometimes is just go on the browser version. Yeah. Um, but I've actually now blocked, um, Chrome as well on my phone, but it, but it also makes me have hundreds of moments of extreme irritation throughout the day. Yeah. So I've gone from being doom scrolling to just going, so I don't know what's better. Cause that's raised blood pressure. Yeah. What I'm finding is if I'm with other people, I just, I don't check my phone.

[00:12:12] I don't want them to check their phone. I want us to be present together. So like you and I have said many times before when we're together or we're creating a team of people, I just love the fact that I just don't even think about it. I don't want to, I want to be present and I want to be, it's moments of silence when I suddenly reach it. But sometimes I do, I do consciously leave my phone. Like on Friday, I was really, really tired in the afternoon.

[00:12:40] I'd had a really busy week and then I, I left my phone upstairs and then I had a bath and, and then I just didn't look at it again until the next morning. And that was sort of four o'clock in the afternoon until the next morning. Yes. You say you haven't got any willpower, but I think, I think it's just programmed to get us all. My husband's probably better. He doesn't use social media, but what he does use is he was always looking up stuff to do with bicycles and buying things for bicycles. So he's on his phone a lot. He's just not on social media.

[00:13:06] And that temptation, what I did the other day was I always have a notebook on me, but I thought about, I thought about this presenter that had been on this morning years ago who was blonde and she did interiors. And I used to think she was really cool. And I only said, I saw her a couple of times. She popped into my head and it was about half past nine at night. And what I would normally do is go down a wormhole to find out who this woman was and what happened to her. And I thought, no, don't. This is where you, cause you can get instant gratification.

[00:13:35] So I wrote it down in the notebook. I saw it this morning when I opened it says this morning interiors woman, blonde to look her up at some point so that I don't fall into that instant. Let's look at me. Yes. But that's the problem. The other thing is if I want to do anything, so I've got to, oh, right. I've got to send a message to Esther. So I'll pick my phone up and I'll just go on Instagram 20 minutes later, put the phone down. Oh shit. I've got to send a message to Esther. Yes. Oh no. Someone else.

[00:14:05] And it just, um, there's too much going on there and it's awful. And it's, it makes me actually really sad. And I just, I'm so lonely a lot of the time. Um, if anyone wants to be my friend out there, but what I've got a lot of friends, I've got a lot of friends. We all do, but I don't see them and I want to be with people and that, and that's they've tapped into that. You know, it is social, you know, I am message.

[00:14:35] I am messaging people. There's lots of DMS going back and forward on Instagram. Um, but it's not the same. Um, and I find that I'm not ringing my friends. I'd love to know how many of you listening spend time in the week speaking to your friends on the phone. Um, I worry, and I would also like people to let me know who are my friends if they don't mind me ringing because I don't want to bother people. Yeah. And there's this constant, oh, we should probably be putting the kids to bed right now, or she's

[00:15:04] probably not finished work or I don't know. I don't want to be a bother. And I also don't want to talk about boring things. What I'd love to do is ring someone up for them to tell me their life story. And for me not to have to talk about my life. Just to be there in each other's company. Yeah. And the only people I think I really speak to on the phone, I speak to one of my aunts, uh, well, actually two of my aunts, but my one aunt, we talk so long, we'll do two hours. So we don't call each other because it's too long. Yes. We then don't call each other.

[00:15:32] And then it's like a, it's like a twice a year thing where we sit down with multiple cups of warm drink and just do it over FaceTime. Um, but the two people I speak to on the phone actually are you and our friend Sally. So sometimes, so sometimes that's, oh, that's it. I don't, I don't talk to any of them. We want, it's just WhatsApps that have been left, the lengthy WhatsApps that then I find time to catch up with usually when I'm walking the dog.

[00:16:01] And I do the same back, but there's an, I don't actually, it's, Sal will message me sometimes, uh, in the morning and go, I'm just about to walk the dog. Are you on a dog walk? Let's natter. And so I will do that sometimes, maybe once every other month or something. Um, and, and then I speak to you sometimes on the phone. Yeah. But that's it. And, and I think you're right. There is a loneliness, isn't there? Because we both are working separate. We're opposite. Well, not opposite ends of the country, but I'm in the middle and you're in the South

[00:16:31] and, and a lot of the work I do is solitary. Um, but yet I'm somebody who works best when I'm in a room with other people. Yes, absolutely. I was sick. I mean, the person I ring the most is my mum because I know I can literally ring her for two minutes and go, right. I'm at the school gates now. I've got to go by. And so I'll ring her sort of every other day. And she, I know she doesn't mind that I ring up, rant at her and then put the phone down. Um, and, and that's, that's great. Cause I know I can do that.

[00:17:00] Um, so I said to my mum, I'm an actor. I said, I'm really lonely. I spend most of my days on my own and I'm an actor. I crave human contact. The reason I'm an actor is because I like people and I want to work with people. I don't like what I like my own company at times and I need focus and quiet and things, but generally, like I've said this before, there's no way I would manage to do a podcast on my own. I mean, for a start off, I'd just be talking to myself.

[00:17:30] I think even, even a radio program. Cause I think I'd love to be a DJ, you know, presenter, but you'd, you'd have the, you have the audience. I suppose that is, you have the audience, you know, people are listening to you. Will you hope people are listening to you? You'd hopefully have like a Sally traffic as well. You'd have, you'd have, you'd have a producer. Um, but it's, it's the contact. And that's why I love doing this because I'm talking to you. We're having a, we are actually hatch. We're actually having a fantastic conversation.

[00:17:59] And we've got human contact and then I can go about the rest of the day. Happy. No, actually what happens is we stopped recording that I'm instantly depressed because I'm not with you anymore. Oh, Susie. Very sad. It's very sad. In the fingers. Oh God, let's hope somebody's listening. It is weird though, isn't it? Because I definitely need time to myself and I know when I'm like, Oh, I need to, I need to not speak to anyone or into the cat window.

[00:18:28] But, um, but I'm happiest when I think of the happiest things I've done or do. It is when I'm doing this with you. Um, when I'm, when we're creating something, when I'm in a room with other people creating something or even when I'm leaving a workshop and just when you're in a room with other people and you're having conversations and you're getting creative. I get a bit, I get, I struggle a little bit with small talk.

[00:18:54] Um, but when you can go a bit deeper, you can be like, yeah, let's do this and this and this, then I'm alive. Well, when you're doing a play or something and you're, you get into rehearsal room and initially it's like, Oh, hi. Yeah. I'm Susie. Yeah. And then you do the, how did you get here chat? And then you're like the next day you're basically each other's best friend and you're just, you know, everything. Trauma bonding. You just sort of, and then you're friends for life. Um, and it, and it's brilliant. Oh, it's great being an actor when you can actually

[00:19:21] do it. Um, yeah. So what, this is gone. This is, this is, um, tangented. It's tangented off and it's brilliant. Um, and what we mean the conclusion probably is get off your phone and into my car. As the old Billy Ocean said, he should do a, he should do a 2020s remake,

[00:19:44] shouldn't he? Yes. Get off your phone. Get into the pub. Yeah. Have the conversation. Get in the backseat baby. Yeah. That would probably be questionable now, wouldn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Get in the backseat baby. Do you know what other song is quite questionable? Um, cause some friends and I were talking about this, about things that are now questionable

[00:20:11] that weren't questionable. Um, like dating older boys, like quite older boys when you're a teenager, um, which is now like very much frowned upon. Yeah. Uh, but, but do you remember the song Frankie? Frankie. And she sings, you were 16 and I was 12. And I remember how you love me so much way back when

[00:20:34] we were kids going together. And then you left me 12, 12, 12, 12. She says you were 16 and I was 12. 16 and 12. And I did check it a few years ago cause I thought that can't possibly be right. Well, that boy would be prosecuted. Would you not? Well, no. Yeah. Definitely. I think it's legal age. She's not. Definitely. She's practically my daughter. Yeah. Well, I'm boycotting that bloody song. Yes. Crossed off the list. I mean, to be honest,

[00:21:04] most songs I listen to either make me really angry cause they're really sexist. Um, a lot of songs are incredibly sexist. If you tell me what you're listening to, Sue. Oh, well, it's just anything from the, you know, most songs and even things like, um, I take offense at like Benson Boone. Oh yeah. Um, get him away from the women because he's sort of really possessive.

[00:21:32] Well, I, I, I, I don't know what his lyrics are. I mean, I can't, I just, when I think of Benson Boone, please stay, you know, God don't take these, oh God, you know, it's like, look, calm down, mate. Just go and get yourself some hobbies and then start dating again because you're obsessing, you're obsessive and you're dangerous. And then there's, you know, all the, just all this sort of, oh, I need you. No, let's not teach our young people that.

[00:21:59] Do not be defined by the person you're snogging. It's not a healthy, it's not a healthy. It's all consuming when you're that age though, isn't it? It's sort of like. It's too far. They've gone too far. Go and do a couple of backflips Benson and come back. I mean, I remember being that age and it is all consuming. You want to be with him every moment of every second, don't you? I just, yeah, I do remember his lyrics now. I just think of him like a Paul Meskel with a, with a mullet and a mustache. Yeah. I'm hoping he's being, I think he's might be being ironic.

[00:22:29] Yeah. Well, probably it's like. Well, he needs some help. Because the women love him, don't they? Fern Cotton's obsessed with him. I keep sitting here talking about him. Oh, really? Well, Fern, he's far too young for you, my love. Is he? He's very young. He's only 24, 25. Is he? How do you know so much about Benson Boone? Because Beatrice, my daughter, quite likes Benson Boone. But he was on America's Got Talent or something or American Idol when he was like 18.

[00:22:59] Right. And then flash forward four years and he's backflipping off the Grammys stage or whatever. You are right. 25th of June, 2002. 23 is nearly 24. Yeah. Yeah. Very young. Yeah. But very good at backflip most things. Yeah. Yeah. This guy, I quite like him. I'll take it back, Benson. You can slide into my DMs.

[00:23:23] You have been listening to Limited Time Only. Brief. Small but perfectly formed. Just like me. This podcast is part of Podomity, the UK's podcast comedy network. Why not laugh at what else we've got? Visit podomity.com. Bye. Bye.